Things I Can, Things I Can’t

“Well, shall we go to the top?"

I looked up at the Eiffel Tower in front of us. I was miserable, and didn’t hide it. Harry stood, looking through a brochure next to me. A group of about six or seven paparazzi were placed about ten foot from us. I sighed.

“Lets just go home, Harry.”

He looked straight at me and I could tell he was becoming frustrated. “You’re not going to feel any better sitting in your hotel room."

I rolled my eyes and followed him as he walked off in the direction of a small, boutique tea room across the street. “Lets just sit down for a bit, and then I promise we can drive back."

I nodded, not really caring what we did anymore. Harry had tried his best to cheer me up, keep me occupied and make me smile all day, but all of his efforts were in vain. I had no idea where his sudden compassion stemmed from, but it was definitely welcomed.

Harry pulled out my chair and I sat down. “I’ll just go and order.” He said.
“I can pay-“
“Just sit down, Annie.” He warned. I had come quiet accustomed to Harry’s demanding ways, and at first just took it for rudeness - but he was, in fact, just a very protective person.

He came back over and placed a steaming mug in front of me. He took his own seat, and smiled at me. My phone buzzed on the table. Harry looked and I knew he had seen Will’s name glow on the screen. He watched me intently as I picked it up.

Will
i just want you to know that you’re the most selfish, ungrateful person I’ve ever met. how dare you have your new friends throw me out of a club. you think they actually care about you? no, they want to fuck you just like the rest. you’re nothing to them. you’re nothing to anyone. don’t contact me again.

I placed the phone back on the table and Harry immediately grabbed it. “That fucking prick.” He mouthed, almost throwing it down in anger. “You don’t listen to any of that, Annie, do you understand? We’re your friends now. We do care."

I nodded, staring into space for the next twenty minutes, leaving us in total silence.

“Why do you even care, Harry.” I asked, bringing my attention to him. “Why are you even here?"

He looked at me for a second before clearing his throat. “I’m here, because I feel.. I just feel, like.. responsible.” He ran his hand throw his hair. “Because I told you and because you’re close to Lou and, well.. maybe you remind me of someone.”
“Who?”
Harry looked down at the table, taking a sip of his drink. “My Dad cheated on my Mum when I was seven, and we- me and my sister, pretty much saw it all unfold.” He shook his head. “I just remember how broken my Mum was."

I didn’t speak for another few minutes. All I could do was what felt right at that time, I reached over and wrapped my fingers in the hand he had embracing his mug. “I’m sorry.”
He looked at my hand, and then up to me. “Thank you."

* * *

It was dark, and late, really late. Niall had come over to my room earlier, to talk through what had happened and to eat pizza while doing so. Now my hotel room was silent except from the movie I had playing on the TV. I looked down at my phone, wishing that Will would text, as ridiculous as that was. I was so bored and so lonely. I had tried to FaceTime probably ten people, but everyone seemed asleep. I fiddled with the remote control, then threw it away from me in frustration. I wondered if Harry was still up.

Harry had told me that should I need anything, to just knock on his door. It still seemed strange, in some ways, because I had only known him a fortnight and besides that fact we were still quite awkward around each other. This.. cheating incident had brought about a new side to him. He felt responsible, he felt guilty for the women he had hurt. He was an extremely complicated, angry, nonchalant person, that I could already tell. He could be so laid back, funny, mischievous and childish, and the next minute be completely unapproachable. In a way, he sort of scared me a bit. When I had spoken to Niall this evening, although he was lovely about everything.. he didn’t offer the depth of understanding that I felt when I spoke to Harry about it. I suppose that’s what I really needed and Harry gave it to me.

I stood up and made my way to my slippers and grabbed a sweater from the back of the chair. I decided I’d go and knock on Harry’s door although I knew I would probably be a nuisance. The stillness of the hallway creeped me out, and I was happy to make it to the next floor down. I saw the light peeking out from under his door and I felt relief wash over me. I tapped on the wood and waited. I heard shuffling around, moving, and then the door opened a few inches.

“Annie..” He said, seeming exasperated. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Oh.. nothing, I just felt so bored and lonely.. and Niall left to go to bed, and then I remembered what you said and-“
“Harry, who’s at the door?” I heard a buttery voice from the room. A girls voice. Harry looked at me with wide eyes. I noticed he was in his boxers, every tattoo he had fully on show, and it didn’t take a brain surgeon to work out what was going on here.
“Oh God.. sorry, I shouldn’t have- I mean I..” I struggled to find the right words and my cheeks had ignited by this point. “I’ll go.”
“Annie, Annie wait..” He called, but I had already made my way down the hall.

How much had I just embarrassed myself? I had never felt so needy and so pathetic. I felt at that point like I had mistaken Harry’s few caring gestures for so much more. He didn’t feel responsible for me. I doubt he even cared. Random hookups were all he cared about.

I almost ran back into my room, and slammed the door behind me. There was a heavy lump in my throat and I swallowed hard to rid myself of it. I curled into my bed, trying to forget the traumatic event I had just witnessed.

Notes

Hi! sorry for the wait! busy two days. vote/sub/com please!