Things I Can, Things I Can’t
Forty-Three
Harry’s POV
“Is she still being sick?”
I looked up at Gemma from my spot outside the bathroom door on the floor of the restaurant we had tried to go for dinner at. Annie’s morning sickness had diluted for a while, but it seemed to be happening all over again. She could hardly disguise the retching sounds that were coming from inside the bathroom.
I nodded. “Can you go in there, please?"
Gemma obliged. I fiddled with the rings on my fingers. I felt awful. I felt like I had caused horrible, strange things to happen to her body. I knew it was our baby, it was all amazing, but Annie was becoming more and more depressed at the physical and mental changes this pregnancy caused. I guess some people cope better than others. She had been calling Lou almost every day. First it was the sickness, then it was the headaches, then it was the tiredness, the bloated stomach, the sore back. I wished that I could even take that pain from her. I knew it was just the way things were, but it was putting a dark cloud over our happiness.
I felt even more guilty for having her on the other side of the world when all she wanted to do was rest in her home city.
We had played three shows and Annie hadn’t made one, yet. She’d eat food and want to sleep. I hated, hated to sound selfish.. but I was bored. Every time she had gotten sick, I had had to stay beside her.
Those were the times I realised I was growing up. I had kind of been floating through. Sort of trying to live a bi-lateral life-style. Everyone told me things would change and I wouldn’t be able to live the lifestyle I lived now, but I imagined that we’d be an energetic, cool couple with a baby on the way. I thought I’d maybe still make one or two club nights. So far, all I had done was wake up at 5 A.M to hit the gym, rehearse, interview, eat with Annie, do the show, and then go back to Annie to sleep. Our evenings were often me holding her hair back while she’d be sick. Often listening to her insult me when her hormones were crazy. Then listening to her cry herself to sleep because she felt so terrible.
When Gemma came back out, she was holding Annie’s hand. She was as white as a sheet. I just exhaled, ran a hand through my hair, and tried to smile as strongly as possible so she didn’t realise how bad she looked. I gently placed my arm around her, and gave her my sunglasses for the pit of paparazzi waiting outside. Fucking animals. I felt so fiercely protective of Annie. She was carrying the most delicate, special thing in the world to me and I hated having a group of weird men always near it.
“You okay?” I looked down at her in the car. Gemma gazed at us from the front seat, a sad pout on her lips. We all felt so sorry for Annie.
She shook her head. She started to cry. “I can’t do it, Harry, I can’t be so sick anymore.”
I looked at Gemma, and Gemma looked back at me. This was not good.
“Annie, when we get home, you can rest. I’ll stay with you tonight.” Gemma gave me a knowing look. I wondered if she was trying to allow me the night off.
Annie sniffed. “It hurts.”
“What hurts?” I asked, panic always present in my voice.
“Everything. Is this what pregnancy is? I feel like I’ve constantly been beaten up.” Annie had a little more colour in her cheeks, and a little more humour.
Gemma smiled sympathetically. A smile that always reminded me of mum. “Annie, your body isn’t just looking after you anymore. It’s got double the amount of work to do. Two people who need food, oxygen, blood, sleep, rest, energy.. it’s not going to be easy!"
When we arrived in mine and Annie’s room, Gemma immediately summoned me into the en-suite.
“Go out,” She sighed, “Go for a few drinks and relax a bit. I can take care of her. You’re constantly on edge. You don’t look well, either. You’ve been by her side 24/7. You both need a break.”
“She’ll want me here.” I insisted.
“She’s got me, same blood, isn’t it?” Gemma smiled and hugged me. It was unexpected. We loved each other more than most brothers and sisters - definitely more obviously than Annie and Frankie, but she was not an embracer. “I love you. Go."
“Just a few hours.” I smiled.
“A few hours, H.” Gemma picked up Annie’s pyjamas, a glass of water, and a hot water bottle and I heard the girls get into bed together.
I needed my escape, too.
Annie’s POV
“And then when he was four, he fell off a swing and cut his head open.” Gemma laughed. “He was such a clumsy child.”
“He’s still clumsy.” I smiled, thoughtfully. “He’s so good to me, Gemma. He puts up with so much."
Gemma frowned up at me from Harry’s side of the hotel bed. “He hasn’t got to carry a baby around in his stomach, Annie. He deserves some hard work.”
I nodded.
“It’s so crazy, to see someone so in love with Harry.” She looked away and laughed, staring into the room. “I mean, he’s my brother. He’s annoying, he’s ditzy, he’s weird. It’s so funny to think someone is in love with him. To me he’s just the little boy that used to follow me around and want to play when I was trying to have girly sleepovers. Now he’s having a baby.” She looked down at her hands. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m ecstatic. I think about my niece or nephew every day.”
“You just don’t want to lose him.” I said, knowingly. Gemma nodded.
“Kind of.” She sighed. “I aways saw Harry having kids and a wife and a nice house before me, though. He’s just always had that charm. I’m awkward, and I read books all the time. He’s so cool, and he can talk to anybody.”
“Gemma, he idolises you. He’s still that kid that followed you around in soiled nappies when you were trying to be cool with your girlfriends."
We both laughed.
As much as I adored Gemma’s company, I wished Harry would come home. Every night I didn’t spend with him seemed to make the little person in my stomach uneasy. Talking to Gemma made me miss him so much.. pathetic when we were both in the same city and he’d been gone for three hours.
Gemma turned off the lights, and we snuggled into our pillows. I placed my hand on my stomach. “I know.” I thought. “Daddy’s going to be home soon."
Harry’s POV.
Jesus Christ. Two drinks had turned into a session. Louis, Niall, and I, had gone to a local Mexican-themed club. What started off as one light Corona each had turned into a feast of tequila. I felt my head whirling, my stomach burning.
“We’re wetting the baby’s head!” Niall exclaimed. “Baby fucking Shower!”
“We’re all having a baby, One D’s having a baby!” Louis and Niall erupted into a singalong. I couldn’t control my drunken laughter. I hoped nobody was watching us, but I was pretty sure we were in a random town in the middle of no-where.
The waitress sashayed back over. Her long, pin straight black hair finished past her breasts, which were completely exposed, all for her nipples which were only just tucked into her shirt. I tried my best to look at anything but them, but I’m a man and I did anyway. I automatically felt bad, but I was so drunk that I even mistook her for Annie, momentarily.
Niall and Louis continued their singing and I took the shot Mrs. Waitress placed in front of me. Okay, that was too much. I shuddered, feeling it about to come straight back up again. I stood up, stumbling backwards, without Louis and Niall paying one bit of attention to me. I trembled over to the bathrooms and pushed into the male cubicles, just in time. I had never been a drinker, especially of spirits, and that tequila left my stomach like it was poison. I groaned, cold beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I fell asleep for maybe ten minutes against the toilet bowl. Someone was knocking. Someone was speaking. I had no idea who.
I grabbed at the lock on the door and pulled myself up. I slammed open the door, with too much force, unintentionally. The waitress from before stood there, her breasts completely hanging out of her shirt. What the fuck? I stumbled and fell into the door frame, and she reached to steady me out.
“Sorry.. I’m married..” I began to say, but it sounded more like ’srrrmmmrdd.' I looked at the ceiling, the wall behind her, the floor, but eventually back at her and I was trying so hard not to look at her boobs, that were still completely exposed. I cursed inwardly. I moved to push past her. She took my arms. What the fuck was this? I couldn’t stand up any longer. Oh God, I was going to puke again. I stumbled back into the cubicle and fell onto the toilet seat, my head taking a whack on the wall.
I didn’t know what was going on. Was that Annie? She smelled like Annie, she had huge boobs like Annie. Whoever she was she had taken this as her queue to straddle me. I looked up at her, only confusion on my face. I locked my eyes onto her, and suddenly then I was transfixed on them. Trying to figure out her face. Trying to recognise those eyes.
Then, she pressed her lips against mine.
“Is she still being sick?”
I looked up at Gemma from my spot outside the bathroom door on the floor of the restaurant we had tried to go for dinner at. Annie’s morning sickness had diluted for a while, but it seemed to be happening all over again. She could hardly disguise the retching sounds that were coming from inside the bathroom.
I nodded. “Can you go in there, please?"
Gemma obliged. I fiddled with the rings on my fingers. I felt awful. I felt like I had caused horrible, strange things to happen to her body. I knew it was our baby, it was all amazing, but Annie was becoming more and more depressed at the physical and mental changes this pregnancy caused. I guess some people cope better than others. She had been calling Lou almost every day. First it was the sickness, then it was the headaches, then it was the tiredness, the bloated stomach, the sore back. I wished that I could even take that pain from her. I knew it was just the way things were, but it was putting a dark cloud over our happiness.
I felt even more guilty for having her on the other side of the world when all she wanted to do was rest in her home city.
We had played three shows and Annie hadn’t made one, yet. She’d eat food and want to sleep. I hated, hated to sound selfish.. but I was bored. Every time she had gotten sick, I had had to stay beside her.
Those were the times I realised I was growing up. I had kind of been floating through. Sort of trying to live a bi-lateral life-style. Everyone told me things would change and I wouldn’t be able to live the lifestyle I lived now, but I imagined that we’d be an energetic, cool couple with a baby on the way. I thought I’d maybe still make one or two club nights. So far, all I had done was wake up at 5 A.M to hit the gym, rehearse, interview, eat with Annie, do the show, and then go back to Annie to sleep. Our evenings were often me holding her hair back while she’d be sick. Often listening to her insult me when her hormones were crazy. Then listening to her cry herself to sleep because she felt so terrible.
When Gemma came back out, she was holding Annie’s hand. She was as white as a sheet. I just exhaled, ran a hand through my hair, and tried to smile as strongly as possible so she didn’t realise how bad she looked. I gently placed my arm around her, and gave her my sunglasses for the pit of paparazzi waiting outside. Fucking animals. I felt so fiercely protective of Annie. She was carrying the most delicate, special thing in the world to me and I hated having a group of weird men always near it.
“You okay?” I looked down at her in the car. Gemma gazed at us from the front seat, a sad pout on her lips. We all felt so sorry for Annie.
She shook her head. She started to cry. “I can’t do it, Harry, I can’t be so sick anymore.”
I looked at Gemma, and Gemma looked back at me. This was not good.
“Annie, when we get home, you can rest. I’ll stay with you tonight.” Gemma gave me a knowing look. I wondered if she was trying to allow me the night off.
Annie sniffed. “It hurts.”
“What hurts?” I asked, panic always present in my voice.
“Everything. Is this what pregnancy is? I feel like I’ve constantly been beaten up.” Annie had a little more colour in her cheeks, and a little more humour.
Gemma smiled sympathetically. A smile that always reminded me of mum. “Annie, your body isn’t just looking after you anymore. It’s got double the amount of work to do. Two people who need food, oxygen, blood, sleep, rest, energy.. it’s not going to be easy!"
When we arrived in mine and Annie’s room, Gemma immediately summoned me into the en-suite.
“Go out,” She sighed, “Go for a few drinks and relax a bit. I can take care of her. You’re constantly on edge. You don’t look well, either. You’ve been by her side 24/7. You both need a break.”
“She’ll want me here.” I insisted.
“She’s got me, same blood, isn’t it?” Gemma smiled and hugged me. It was unexpected. We loved each other more than most brothers and sisters - definitely more obviously than Annie and Frankie, but she was not an embracer. “I love you. Go."
“Just a few hours.” I smiled.
“A few hours, H.” Gemma picked up Annie’s pyjamas, a glass of water, and a hot water bottle and I heard the girls get into bed together.
I needed my escape, too.
Annie’s POV
“And then when he was four, he fell off a swing and cut his head open.” Gemma laughed. “He was such a clumsy child.”
“He’s still clumsy.” I smiled, thoughtfully. “He’s so good to me, Gemma. He puts up with so much."
Gemma frowned up at me from Harry’s side of the hotel bed. “He hasn’t got to carry a baby around in his stomach, Annie. He deserves some hard work.”
I nodded.
“It’s so crazy, to see someone so in love with Harry.” She looked away and laughed, staring into the room. “I mean, he’s my brother. He’s annoying, he’s ditzy, he’s weird. It’s so funny to think someone is in love with him. To me he’s just the little boy that used to follow me around and want to play when I was trying to have girly sleepovers. Now he’s having a baby.” She looked down at her hands. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m ecstatic. I think about my niece or nephew every day.”
“You just don’t want to lose him.” I said, knowingly. Gemma nodded.
“Kind of.” She sighed. “I aways saw Harry having kids and a wife and a nice house before me, though. He’s just always had that charm. I’m awkward, and I read books all the time. He’s so cool, and he can talk to anybody.”
“Gemma, he idolises you. He’s still that kid that followed you around in soiled nappies when you were trying to be cool with your girlfriends."
We both laughed.
As much as I adored Gemma’s company, I wished Harry would come home. Every night I didn’t spend with him seemed to make the little person in my stomach uneasy. Talking to Gemma made me miss him so much.. pathetic when we were both in the same city and he’d been gone for three hours.
Gemma turned off the lights, and we snuggled into our pillows. I placed my hand on my stomach. “I know.” I thought. “Daddy’s going to be home soon."
Harry’s POV.
Jesus Christ. Two drinks had turned into a session. Louis, Niall, and I, had gone to a local Mexican-themed club. What started off as one light Corona each had turned into a feast of tequila. I felt my head whirling, my stomach burning.
“We’re wetting the baby’s head!” Niall exclaimed. “Baby fucking Shower!”
“We’re all having a baby, One D’s having a baby!” Louis and Niall erupted into a singalong. I couldn’t control my drunken laughter. I hoped nobody was watching us, but I was pretty sure we were in a random town in the middle of no-where.
The waitress sashayed back over. Her long, pin straight black hair finished past her breasts, which were completely exposed, all for her nipples which were only just tucked into her shirt. I tried my best to look at anything but them, but I’m a man and I did anyway. I automatically felt bad, but I was so drunk that I even mistook her for Annie, momentarily.
Niall and Louis continued their singing and I took the shot Mrs. Waitress placed in front of me. Okay, that was too much. I shuddered, feeling it about to come straight back up again. I stood up, stumbling backwards, without Louis and Niall paying one bit of attention to me. I trembled over to the bathrooms and pushed into the male cubicles, just in time. I had never been a drinker, especially of spirits, and that tequila left my stomach like it was poison. I groaned, cold beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I fell asleep for maybe ten minutes against the toilet bowl. Someone was knocking. Someone was speaking. I had no idea who.
I grabbed at the lock on the door and pulled myself up. I slammed open the door, with too much force, unintentionally. The waitress from before stood there, her breasts completely hanging out of her shirt. What the fuck? I stumbled and fell into the door frame, and she reached to steady me out.
“Sorry.. I’m married..” I began to say, but it sounded more like ’srrrmmmrdd.' I looked at the ceiling, the wall behind her, the floor, but eventually back at her and I was trying so hard not to look at her boobs, that were still completely exposed. I cursed inwardly. I moved to push past her. She took my arms. What the fuck was this? I couldn’t stand up any longer. Oh God, I was going to puke again. I stumbled back into the cubicle and fell onto the toilet seat, my head taking a whack on the wall.
I didn’t know what was going on. Was that Annie? She smelled like Annie, she had huge boobs like Annie. Whoever she was she had taken this as her queue to straddle me. I looked up at her, only confusion on my face. I locked my eyes onto her, and suddenly then I was transfixed on them. Trying to figure out her face. Trying to recognise those eyes.
Then, she pressed her lips against mine.
Notes
please don’t kiss her back. please don’t kiss her back.
THIS is why celebrities shouldn’t be able to drink, right?
Okay, so I don't know where to start. Maybe at this is the best fan-fiction story I have ever read? That sounds about right! ;) This story is amazing and I recommend it toEVERYBODY! Thank you SO much for writing this!!! I can't wait to read the sequel! Thank you thank you thank you! Do you have an Instagram or a twitter or other social media stuff? Because I would LOVE to follow you! Thanks again! :D
love,
-Rookie (Instagram @paige_young99)
6/8/14