Things I Can, Things I Can’t

With everything that had happened in the last month, I tried desperately to push the thought of Harry returning home soon to the back of my mind. I kept my head firmly out of newspapers, gossip websites, and the internet in general. I guessed Harry had decided not to share the topic of my infidelity with anyone, because it would have been rinsed through the media by now.

One thing I was thankful for, was the work experience of touring with One Direction, because it certainly helped me get back to work. I had joined an agency, the same one as Lou, and had some things lined up. Finally, it seemed, I was getting small pieces of my life back.

I don’t know why it bothered me that Harry hadn’t spoken to me since he ended things - I certainly didn’t expect him to go out of his way to reach out to me. But even though my life started to move again, I longed for him. I longed for him first thing in the morning, all through my lunch breaks at work, and last thing at night. I still thought constantly of him, how it wasn’t my place to kiss those perfect, plump lips anymore.

I don’t know why I knew something was going to happen that day, but on my way to work I had a sense of foreboding. I clambered into my usual coffee spot, thrown around by the wind outside, and placed my order. Unfortunately, as I turned to manoeuvre out of the shop, I was involved in a head on collision with the man behind me. It was none other than Will. I screamed internally. I lost the ability to speak when I looked up and saw his eyes flash with anger at the hot beverage splashed onto his white shirt, then they softened at the knowledge of who I was. I wanted to run past him, but my legs weren’t co-operating. I felt so vulnerable in front of him.

“Annie,” He said, unsurely. He looked for his words. “I.. how are you?"

How am I? How am I? I’m living in a black hole since we got blind drunk and I slept with you while my boyfriend was thousands of miles away. Every day is chained to the previous one, and there is nothing in my life to live for.

“I have to go,” I muttered, about to leave. He pressed a firm hand on my arm, and I froze.
“Annie, please.” Will looked at me with sincerity. “I have to speak to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” I tried to sound firm but my voice shook.
“Please,” He sighed, shifting his weight onto his right side. “It’s about.. Harry."

He knew exactly where to hit me, because at the mere mention of his name I was putty in Will’s hands. I slowly sat down at the nearest table, and Will did the same.

“When I tell you this..” He looked down at his hands. “I know you’re never going to want to speak to me again. But I have to, Annie. I can’t stand the guilt anymore."

I looked at him, oddly.

“Annie, we didn’t sleep together.” He sighed, running a hand through his styled hair.

All I could do was continue staring.

“I set it up so that you would think I did, but we didn’t.” He paused. “I knew you would break up with him.. and maybe there would be the slightest chance of us getting back together."

I sat there dumbstruck. Was I hearing this right now?

“Annie, say something, please.” He growled, moving closer to me. I backed away.
“But-“ I struggled to find words. “I woke up near naked, I saw the-“ I paused. “The condom in the bin, the bruises on my thighs..”
“I put the condom there, I had to make you believe it.” He looked down again. “The bruises were partly from you falling down when I tried to carry you. The other part.. I put there intentionally.”
“I think I would remember being punched in the thighs, Will.” I said, although I knew I probably wouldn’t. I didn’t remember anything from that night.
“Actually, you wouldn’t.” He sneered. “I.. I put something in your drink. I knew there was no way that you would leave there with me, I knew how.. in love you were with him.”
“You drugged me?” I said, causing the attention of a few onlookers to stare.
“Annie, you have to understand, I would have done anything to get you back. But all of this, it wasn’t just me.. I wasn’t-“ Will shook his head. “I wasn’t the only one involved."

All I could do was stare at him in disgust. My body chilled at the thought that someone had taken advantage of me to the highest degree.

“What do you mean?” I said, my voice strong.
He bit his lip. “A few weeks ago, I got a phone call. At first I thought it was a journo, but it was from this blocked number. It was someone from this management company - but I looked it up and it wasn’t the One Direction management."

My head whirled. I felt sick to my stomach at all the new information. How could I have been set up? Things like this do not happen in the real world.

“They didn’t tell me why, or what for, but they told me that I should try to break you and Harry up.” He paused. “They offered me money, Annie. And it was stupid, but I agreed."

I stood up slowly, my mouth open. I couldn’t seem to find the air to breathe. This guy, this person I had been with for three years, done everything with for the first time, had betrayed and violated me. Quickly, he stood up with me.

“Why would anybody..” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. I knew that the One Direction management were dodgy, and often set the boys up in PR stunts, but this? This was barbaric. This was real-world. Real people, real feelings had been hurt.
“I don’t know who they are, Annie."
“What.. why-“ I muddled my words. “How could you do that to somebody? I have lost everything thanks to you. Why would I ever get back with you? He-“ I paused. “Harry gave me everything.”
“That’s exactly why I did it. It drove me crazy. Seeing you, him, his face everywhere. I knew he was the one who told you I had cheated and I had never gotten the chance to fuck him over for it. So, selfishly, this was my way of doing it."

I slowly shook my head, bursting into a sprint for the door. I knew he was following me. My eyes erupted into tears. Sobs were coming from my chest as I power-walked down the London street. Will caught up with me and spun me around.

“I’m sorry, Annie.” He said, angrily. “I just, you never looked at me the way you look at him."

I pulled my arm away so harshly I thought it had dislocated.

“Because you are nothing compared to him.”

Notes

omggggggg :O
i hope that the chapter was written well enough to seem realistic! All will develop and your questions will be answered soon :)
thanks for everything!