Harry's POV

My mind is racing, but I can't focus. Too many thoughts are running through my head. Memories of Lana and I, the way I've felt for the past two years, how much I missed her, imagining what she must have thought of me after I left, why Niall didn't tell her the real reason for my sudden departure.

Is she right? Should I have told her? I know that if I had done that she would have convinced me to stay or just made it even harder for me to leave. I couldn't put her life at risk and leaving after she pleaded with me not to was just unthinkable. I don't even want to imagine what that would have been like. Maybe it was better that Niall didn't tell her. At least this way she wasn't waiting around for me to come back. She thought I was done with her, that I didn't love her anymore. If she knew how much I still did, she would might have just waited around for me to come back. Or tried harder to find me. But what if I had told her? Would we have found a way to deal with it? Could I have stayed?

I hate the 'what if' game. It's torturous. But I can't help myself. Did I make the wrong choice? I don't know how long I've been staring at the ceiling for, but when the boys come back in I jump up from my seat to glare at Niall.

"Whatever you're pissed at me for, can we deal with it in the morning? I'm tired and a tad drunk and I'm not in the mood." He walks right past me, down the hall and into his bedroom. What a little fuck. I'll just yell at him tomorrow.

"What's your deal? You look pissed," Louis says, sitting on the chair adjacent to the couch. "How did it go with Lana?"

"Great. We made up and we're back together. In fact, I'm downstairs sleeping with her right now," I say sarcastically, sitting down on the couch and pinching the bridge of my nose. If things had gone well, obviously I would be down there with her. We've been apart for two years, at the very least I would be holding her while she sleeps. There is nothing I would rather be doing.

"Well someone's in a bad mood."

"Shut up, Louis. I'm not in the mood for your sass."

"Alright, what happened?"

"Niall never told her why I left."

"So?"

"So, she thinks I left because I wanted to, not because I had to. She thinks I don't love her anymore." How does he not understand the severity of this situation?

"So, did you explain it to her?"

"Of course I did! But she just got more upset. She said I should have told her about everything instead of leaving, or at least explained the situation before I did."

"You should have."

"You aren't helping, Lou."

"I don't know what you want me to say, mate. Sorry, but I have no pity for you. Lana was a mess when you left. I've never seen her like that ever. If you telling her the truth could have made it easier for her, then I'm in agreement. Obviously you leaving without a word would piss her off. You had to know that. Did you honestly think that you could come back and just pick up where you left off?"

"Of course not. I know that I hurt her. I just didn't expect her to still be so heartbroken." I really didn't. I knew that she would be pissed at me and that it would take some time before she let me in again, but I didn't think that she would still be this hurt.

"Look, we all want you guys to get back together, don't get me wrong. If getting back with you gets Lana back to her old self again, then that's what I want. But you hurt her. More than I think anyone even realizes. She's going to need time. Let her do this her own way. You owe her that at the very least."

I nod as he gets up and goes back to his room. I literally have no idea what to do now. Where do we go from here? Should I try to talk to her again soon or do I let her come to me? I have no fucking clue.

Lana's POV

Kill me. He threatened to kill me. Why would he do that? How could he possibly kill someone? And me of all people! I didn't do anything to him. Stupid Harry. Why didn't he just tell me what happened? We could have figured it out together. Even if it had meant running away with him or something, I would have done it. Literally anything would have been better than the way he chose to handle it.

Because now I have this broken heart that I have no idea what to do with.

There's a soft knock on my door, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Come in."

"It's me," El says, slipping into my room. She trips over herself on the way to my bed, clearly intoxicated. Lovely.

"How was your night my dear?" I ask, smiling as she carefully lays on the bed beside me. She's smiling like an idiot. "Why are you so happy?"

She shrugs. "I just am. How was your date with Harry?"

"First of all, it wasn't a date. Second, remind me to kill you later for setting me up."

"It was the only way! You guys really needed to talk. How did it go, anyway?"

"Did you know that Zayn said he would kill me?"

"Not until after Harry came back. Then they told me."

"They?" "

The boys knew."

"But you didn't?"

"Nope," she says, popping the 'p'.

"Did the boys know the whole time? Ever since he left?"

"I'm not really sure. I think Niall did, but I'm not sure about Louis."

"I can't believe he didn't tell me. We could have worked it out together."

"He was protecting you, Lana. He didn't want to put your life in danger. I'm glad he did what he did because who knows what could have happened to you."

I guess she's right. He was protecting me. But still, he should have explained it to me instead of making the decision on his own. It was my life that was at risk. I should have been the one to decide to put it in danger or not.

"My life feels like some sort of twisted romance novel," I joke. El laughs in agreement.

"Yeah, at least the guy is hot though."

"Easy there."

"Oh relax, I have my own male lead, I don't need yours." She gets up and skips out the door to go to her own room. Maybe El is right. Maybe I should just be...grateful. Harry did what he did to save my life, even though he knew it would hurt me and himself. I can't imagine leaving like that was easy for him. Besides, what's done is done, right? We can't go back and change any of it. Might as well just move on and make the best of it.

"Woah," I say to myself, surprised by my sudden clarity. I haven't had positive thoughts like that in a long time, especially about this. The plan wasn't to just move on and be okay with it, the plan was to hate him.

But I can't hate him. I know that now. Right now I know I'm still in love with him and no matter what I will always care about him. He's been such a major part of my life. I'll never be able to erase that.

But where do we go from here?

---

I wake up the next morning in the same clothes I was wearing last night. Must have fallen asleep without realizing. I get up and go to see if El is still here. She's still sleeping, so I decide to have a quick shower and get ready. It's saturday, so I have to work. I actually like my job, but there are other things I would rather be doing. Oh well, I need the money anyway.

After my shower I get dressed in my uniform, consisting of black jeans and a black v-neck longsleeve. We had to wear all black at the cafe, and we all had these aprons we had to wear. I really do like my job. The coffee shop is really more of a really small restaurant; we serve simple things like fries, pastries, burgers, and that kind of stuff. It's really small and dainty; there's a very cozy feel to it. It's adorable.

As I'm eating my breakfast El comes out of her room, fingers rubbing the side of her head.

"How are you doing there?" I ask, smiling to myself.

"Shhh," she says, holding a hand up to me. "Stop yelling."

"El, I'm speaking in a normal tone."

"Seriously, talk quieter. This hangover is like death." I laugh as she sits down next to me, helping herself to my coffee. "Remind me never to get drunk off wine. It doesn't work well."

"El, you've always had that problem. You say this every time the next morning. Why do you even drink it?"

"It just tastes so good!"

"Well, find something else that tastes good."

"I really don't have the capacity to have this argument right now."

I laugh and stand up to put my dishes away, leaving her with my coffee and making myself another one. "Do you to work today?"

"Thank heavens, no. Tomorrow."

"Alright, well I work until five. Do you want to see a movie or something tonight?"

"Probably."

"Okay, invite whoever you want. I'll see you later," I chirp, waving and taking my bag and keys from the table and going out the door. I'm in a surprisingly good mood today. Maybe I should have had this Harry-related epiphany a long time ago.

---

"I'm back!" I call out as I enter my apartment. Work was busy today, but I don't feel tired at all. I'm feeling...excited. I don't know why.

"Finally! I've been dying of hangover and boredom," Eleanor says from the living room. I walk in and see her lying on the couch with a magazine. "We're going to the movies tonight at 8."

"Okay, I'm going to go take a quick shower then."

"I'll be here," she says in a bored tone. I chuckle at her and go into my room to get some clothes, then slide into the shower. After I've washed my hair and lathered up with my vanilla scented body wash, I decide to shave my legs. Haven't done that in a while. Who shaves their legs when its cold? No ones going to see that anyway.

I get dressed and dry my hair so I can braid and straighten it. When I'm done I go back out to see Eleanor asleep on the couch.

"El!" I shout, smacking the back of the couch to make a loud noise. She bolts up into sitting position with a confused look on her face. I start laughing and she whips her head towards me.

"I'm going to kill you," she says, laying back down.

"El, go shower! You'll feel better. You'll look better too. I'm not going to be seen in public with someone that looks like...that," I say, pointing up and down her body. She smacks my hand and goes straight to the bathroom, flipping me the middle finger as she walks away. I laugh again and start making some dinner. I'm always the one that cooks; Eleanor has no idea how to do anything. She can't even make toast. Sometimes I think she tries to screw up so that I'll just do everything, but she really does try. It's hilarious.

I decide to just toss a pizza in the oven. I don't really feel like cooking anything. When it's ready El still isn't out of the shower so I pound on the door.

"Eleanor, you're using the entire building's water supply! Get out of there!" I can't hear what she says back, but I have a feeling she swore at me. "Also, dinner us ready!" After another minute or two the water turns off. I turn the oven down and stick the pizza back inside to keep it warm until she's ready to eat. When she finally emerges from the bathroom, I can tell she's dressing to compensate for the hangover.

"Well don't get too dressed up," I joke, laughing at her outfit. It may not be anything special, but she still manages to look flawless. I hate that. She flips me off again as she comes to the table to sit. I take out the pizza and cut it up. She takes the biggest slice and devours it.

"I'm assuming you haven't eaten today?" I ask incredulously, watching as she moves on to her second piece while I'm only half done my first.

She shrugs. "You were gone."

"You could have had cereal or something."

"I guess so. This is so much better, though."

When we're done eating I clean up so she can finish getting ready.

"El!" I call to her. "Did you invite anyone to come with us?"

"Yep! They should be here soon!"

"Who is it?" I ask, as there's a knock on the door. She doesn't say anything, so I go to open the door. Louis rushes in.

"I smell the pizza, where is it?" he asks, walking into the kitchen. I laugh and open the door more so Niall can come in too. He follows Lou into the kitchen without a word. Boys and their food. Then someone else steps into the doorway.

"Hey," Harry says shyly, running his hand through his hair. "El invited me. Is that okay?"

"Of course," I say quietly, stepping aside so he can come in. "They're your friends too. You don't need my permission to hang out with us."

I close the door and he turns to face me, smiling lightly. "I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I don't," I assure him.

"Look, about last night-"

"Harry, we don't have to talk about it."

"But you're mad at me."

"No, I'm not." He gives me a confused look and I continue. "I was, but I understand now. Besides, it's in the past, right? Let's just move on."

"Okay," he says carefully, still looking confused. I smile at him and walk past him into the kitchen where Niall and Louis are devouring the rest of the pizza.

"Do you guys not eat upstairs?" I ask, laughing at them.

"I made them pasta," Harry says, walking up beside me. "How are you guys this hungry?"

"Stop judging," Niall says, putting another bite in his mouth. I shake my head and walk to the sink to get a glass of water.

"Do you want anything?" I ask Harry, noticing for the first time how incredible he looks.

"I'm alright," he says, leaning up against the counter next to the fridge. He still looks a little confused. I guess he was expecting me to still be upset with him. I did too, to be honest. But I'm just not. I'm tired of being unhappy all the time. It gets really exhausting.

Harry's POV

She's seriously okay? Just like that? Over it? She was so upset last night...I guess I should be happy that she's okay now. It makes me kind of nervous, though. I feel like this isn't a good sign for some reason.

Eleanor finally emerges from her bedroom.

"You look like hell," Niall says, pointing and laughing as he swallows his last bite of pizza.

"Shut up, Niall. I think you look great, babe," Louis says, pulling her onto his lap. She doesn't look impressed.

"Why did you let me drink wine, Louis? You know how bad my hangovers get when I drink wine."

"I tried to tell you, but you were pretty dead set on drinking it."

"You should have tried harder," she says, getting up to get some aspirin that Lana is already holding out for her. She takes Lana's cup from her as well, popping the pills in her mouth. "Okay, let's go before I change my mind."

We all file out of the apartment and go down the stairs to Niall's car. Once we get outside Lana practically sprints to Niall's car to claim the passenger seat. I chuckle to myself at how little she's changed. I sit in the back with El and Louis and behind Niall, stealing glances at Lana while she talks to Niall beside her. She seems...happy. It's nice. She's also surprisingly close with Niall.

When we get to the movie theatre it's pretty packed. Lana volunteers to get the food while the rest of us get some seats.

"I'll help you," I volunteer, getting a smile and nod from Lana as the others make their way to the theatre. "So, what did you do today?" I ask, attempting to fill the silence that's fallen between as we wait in line.

"I had to work."

"Where do you work?"

"This little cafe down the road from our building. It's called Conversations. It's kind of a hangout place for young people. A lot of students go there to study."

"How long have you worked there for? Wait, why are you working? Doesn't your dad help you?"

"Well he pays for the apartment and for my tuition, but El and I have to pay for food and other things. I'm also trying to save up a bit."

She's being surprisingly open with me. We're talking like normal friends. It's incredible. I chuckle to myself, gaining a quizzical look from Lana.

"What?"

"Nothing," I lie, smiling and shrugging.

"Harry, I can tell you're lying."

"It's nothing, I just can't picture you being a waitress."

She narrows her eyes at me. "And why not?"

"You're just a little clumsy," I remind her, nudging her arm with my elbow. She laughs and I practically have a heart attack. I haven't heard that sound for two years. It's like heaven.

Yeah, that was corny. Get over it.

"I'm not that bad," she defends, stepping up to the counter to order the popcorn, candy and drinks. The girl behind the counter smiles at me a few times, not being subtle at all when she checks me out. It kind of bothers me when girls do this. At least try and be coy about it. No one likes it when you throw yourself at them. Actually that's a lie, a lot of guys would like it. I just don't. I can tell Lana is getting annoyed with her.

"Extra butter on your popcorn?" the girl asks, looking at me.

"No," Lana says sharply. I look down at Lana. She doesn't look very happy.

"Anything else?"

"No, that's it," she says, tapping her debit card on the counter impatiently. The blonde girl behind the counter hands her the debit machine and walks off to get some of our food.

"Something wrong?" I ask slyly, smirking at her while she punches in her pin code a little too harshly. "What did those buttons ever do to you?"

"I just don't like it when-" she stops when the blonde comes back. Lana gives her probably the most fake smile I've ever seen as she hands the machine back to her

"Enjoy the film," the girl says, smiling at me and half-glaring at Lana. Man, girls are weird. I take a bunch of the food in my hands while Lana carries the rest. I walk away quickly hoping Lan follows before she slaps the smile off of that girl.

"What's the rush?" she says, jogging to walk beside me. I slow down and shuffle the food around in my hands so I can get my ticket.

"Just wanted to get out of there before you attacked that girl," I say, smiling down at her. She rolls her eyes and laughs to herself.

"I could totally take her."

"Oh, no doubt." I keep trying but fail to get all the food into one hand so I can get my ticket. Lana's hands are pretty full, so I can't pass her anything. I take the bag of popcorn out of her one hand and put in between to of my fingers. "Can you get my ticket for me?"

"Sure, where is it?"

"Erm..it's in my back pocket."

"Oh," she says, turning a light shade of red. We stop at the end of the hallway where they collect the tickets and she steps behind me, carefully removing the small piece of paper. She hands both of our tickets to the guy without looking at me. He copies the actions of the girl at the snack counter by checking Lana out shamelessly.

"Third theatre on the right. Enjoy the show," he says to her, winking. She says a quiet thanks and walks off. I glare at him and follow Lana to the theatre. I wish she wouldn't wear those damn shirts that don't cover her stomach. I don't need every male in London gawking at her.

We get into the theatre and find the others sitting the rows form the top and close to the edge of the row. We step past one guy, who looks at Lana's ass as she squeezes past him. I roll my eyes and step on his foot.

"Oh, sorry mate," I say, grinning at him. He rolls his eyes and I walk down a few seats and sit down next to Lana, Niall on her other side. We pass all the food and drinks down so everyone has what they ordered.

"I asked for nachos," Niall whines.

"Well we only have so many hands, Niall. Deal with it. You still got your popcorn and liquorice," Lana says, throwing a piece of popcorn at his face. He picks it up off his laugh and eats it as the movie starts.

- - - - -

We all exit the theatre, laughing while Niall and Louis reenact the funniest parts from the movie. As we're walking back to the car things get a little awkward.

"Lana?"

"Chase? Hi!"

I turn to see Lana hugging another guy. He smells her hair, subtly enough that she doesn't notice, but I do. I don't really like that.

"How are you?" he asks, finally pulling away from her.

"I'm pretty good. Are you seeing a movie?"

"Yeah, that new Sandra Bullock one."

"Oh, we just saw that!" she says, pointing behind her to the rest of us. "You'll like it, it's hilarious."

"Hey Chase," Louis says, waving from beside me.

"Oh, hey Lou! Niall, El, good to see you guys." This must be the guy he set her up with the night I came here. "So, did you get my text? I thought maybe Louis gave me the wrong number."

So desperate.

"Yeah, sorry I did. I had a lot going on, I didn't mean to ignore it," she says. I'm guessing me coming back is what she means by a lot going on. At least I know she didn't give him her number, Louis did. I feel a hand on my arm.

"Harry, relax," El whispers. "You look like you're about to jump him."

I relax my muscles, not realizing I had tensed up in the first place. I unclench my fists and look at one of my palms. Nail marks. Awesome.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Lana says, pulling me back to their conversation.

"Great, I'll call you," he says, waving to all of us as he walks away. "See you later guys!"

How rude, he didn't even ask for my name. Not that I give a fuck.

Wait, I'll call you? Why is he calling her? And what did she say sounds good to? What just happened?

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" Louis says, frowning at me.

"Alright, let's go," Lana says, walking next to Eleanor and avoiding my eyes. Did he just ask her out? El and Lan are whispering to each other, so I can't hear what they're saying, but I don't like this. Not one bit.

The car ride home is uncomfortable at best. Everyone practically jumps out when we get back to the building. Niall and Louis try to lift the tension a few times, but it doesn't work. We all just stay quiet. Something is definitely up.

"Do you guys want to come over? We have ice cream," El says, pulling Lou towards their apartment.

"I have to work tomorrow," Niall says, waving at them before going up the rest of the stairs. Louis follow El to the apartment and I stand there awkwardly with Lana in the hallway.

"So, I guess I'll see you later," I say, rubbing the back of my neck. She surprises me by wrapping her arms around me. I hug her back, taking it all in. It feels so good to have her body against mine, to be able to put my chin on her head. We fit together perfectly.

"I'm glad we can be friends," Lana whispers, still hugging me. Friends? Does that mean...

"Goodnight, Harry," she says, pulling away from me and walking to her apartment without meeting my eyes.

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach. Friends? We're friends? Don't get me wrong, it's better than nothing, but she decided that awfully quickly. If I remember correctly last night she told me she still loves me. So why does she only want to be friends?

Notes

WOW OKAY fixed that. sorry the spacing was all messed up.

I know i havent updated in a while so i figured id make this a super long chapter :) i hope everyone likes it :)
also, i know i showed lanas outfit twice but i just wanted to remind everyone what she was wearing after the guy checked her out and so youd know what harry was talking about :P

let me know what you thinkkk :) what do you guys think of chase? is lana just gonna move on??

thanks for reading :) vote and suscbribe! if you're subscribing, but you havent voted please do!