Claire's POV

It's Thanksgiving morning, and nobody is awake and making a turkey. There isn't that same morning glow shining through the window of bedroom... hell, I'm not even in the same bedroom that I would normally be in on this morning. I'm at my dad's house, my new permanent home and it's dead silent because for the first time ever, my mom isn't here to spread the holiday spirit- even if it's just Thanksgiving.

I lazily roll out of bed at 1 in the afternoon and slump into the bathroom to take a shower. My hands try their best to scrub away any feelings of loneliness or pain that I've been feeling since last friday. Since this was only a two day week of school, I hardly saw Zayn or Harry in class and when I did, I kept my head down. Zayn doesn't seem like he's moving on which totally bugs me, but Harry and I have been making our way to being what we used to be.

And then there's Craig. He once meant everything to me, but now my heart has an empty place where his name used to be so tightly sewn in. It's been stitched over with the name 'Zayn', and the letter 'H' is there, but I stopped myself from picking up the needle and jabbing my heart for a third time.

Today I'm supposed to be thankful. Today I'm supposed to feel the love and love everyone else, but instead I find myself looking for every single excuse in the world to be angry, and I'm through with that. I have to be. I think I've been toyed with enough and it's time that I just let go of my inhibitions. Nothing really matters anymore, because what did matter has only either hurt me or left me.

My busy mind distracted me for a good hour, but eventually when my fingers were pruned from the not so hot anymore shower water, I figured it was time to dry off and get ready for the day.

I blow dry my hair and put on a good amount of makeup because wherever I end up tonight, most likely a bar, I want to look my best. The plus side of being with Craig for a week is that he easily snagged me another fake ID, even better than the last.

I slide on a pair of black skinny jeans and a tight, white long sleeve top and match it with a pair of solid black pumps. I actually looked good, which makes me feel good.

"Clairebear? Are you home?" My fathers voice startles me from my reflection in the mirror. My lungs pull in a large breath before I step outside into the hallway to find my father, looking a bit disheveled and tired.

"Hi daddy. Happy Thanksgiving." I say softly and immediately wrap my arms around him. I can feel the shakiness of his breathing on his chest and my insides know that he's holding himself back from crying.

"You too, baby doll. This was your mother's favorite holiday, you know." He chuckles into my hair, and my response is pulling him tighter into our embrace. I may not always like my dad, but I still love him. And like I said, I'm done being angry because all it does is hurt me. It doesn't matter anymore.

"Did Alex and Mark call?" I ask and he pulls away with a smile.

"Yes, they're both really upset they couldn't be here for the holiday... not that we're doing anything for it." He laughs, and I give him a bright smile.

"We could order chinese if you want?" I giggle, and his eyes go wide.

"Are you sure? Andrea could come by and make a turk--" He starts to say, but when my smile fades at the mention of her name he stops himself. "Or we can order chinese for a bit and I'll hangout with Andrea later on." He suggests and I nod.

"Sounds good to me." I allow the smile on my face to shine brightly at him. I guess when nothing really matters, things start to look up?

---

After hanging around with my dad all afternoon and into the night, I finally decided it was time for him to have his time with Andrea. Who am I to keep him from being in love? I've realized that misery loves company and I was offering my dad to room in the sad hotel... Basically, I was being selfish.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" My dad asks, and I shrug my shoulders. He thinks I'm going to Cassidy's, when in reality I'm going to the bar on the other side of town. I know I shouldn't be going to a bar alone and it's dangerous and blah blah blah, but seriously I need time to myself. And a drink. Or 6.

"Probably late, if I get tired I'll just sleep there." I smile, grabbing my wallet and heading out the door without another word.

As I drive to the bar, I scroll through my phone and check my messages, I haven't done that once today.

Craig: Happy Thanksgiving, babe. Thinking of your family today, if you need anything just let me know. :)
Luke: Happy Thanksgiving ugly, hope you choke on ur turkey!!
Cassidy: Hope you're ok today :) love you Claire

I smile at the messages from my best friends, I absolutely fucking adore them. Surprisingly, Zayn hasn't texted me since Tuesday which was two days ago. He usually sends 'his' or 'i miss yous' but I never reply. For some reason, I can't help but laugh whenever he texts me so desperately. The girl is the one who is supposed to chase the guy, right?


After about a ten minute car ride, I'm already inside the bar and unlike I suspected, there are tons and tons of people here. Mostly men, but I see a girl sitting at the bar with an empty seat beside her so I decide to sit in it. I smile at her and she smiles back, and then the bartender grabs my attention.

"Are you old enough to drink here?" He asks, and I nod my head, pulling out the fake ID.

"Of course I am." I snort, and he checks it out before handing it back to me.

"Alright then. What can I get you?" He asks, and I look over at the girl beside me who has a vodka cranberry in her glass.

"I'll have that." I point at her drink and he nods, walking away to make the drink. The girl beside me is laughing now, making me laugh a bit too.

"Why are you here on Thanksgiving? This big ol' American holiday?" She asks with a surprising British accent, and I release small chuckle.

"I'd rather be here then at home with my dad." I laugh as the bartender hands me a drink.

"Cheers to that!" She laughs, clinking glasses with mine. I continue looking at her because for some reason she looks so god damn familiar.

"Are you here alone too?" I ask, downing my first drink and tapping it on the table so the bartender knows to get me another. She does the same before responding.

"I wish," She snorts, "I'm meeting my brother here since we don't celebrate Thanksgiving... I guess we thought it would be a quiet night." She laughs and waves her hand towards at all the people around the bar. I take my next glass which is filled higher than the last and clink it with the girl's before downing half of it.

"I know, I'm surprised there are so many people here... By the way, I haven't got your name?" I laugh, finishing the rest of the glass.

"Gemma." She smiles, extending her hand to mine to shake it. I laugh and shake hers back. "And you are?" She asks, chugging her glass and slamming it down on the table. Just as I'm about to reply, the words are stolen from my lips.

"Claire?!" A familiar voice gasps my name and Gemma and I quickly snap our heads around to see who it was coming from.

"Harry?" I gasp, scratching the back of my head and nervously tapping the counter, begging the bartender for another glass. Of all the people I expected to see tonight, it was not him.

"How do you know my brother?" Gemma laughs, and I cover my hands over my face knowing that I'm busted. I'm a student at a bar, sharing a drink with a friendly older girl, probably in college. Harry's sister. And I have a buzz. Amazing.

"Harry is umm... He's my--" I stutter, but he cuts me off.

"Claire is a friend of mine... and I guess of yours too now." He laughs, pulling up a chair to sit in between us. I shift to the right uncomfortably, trying to make room for this awkward encounter. He didn't throw me under the bus like I thought he would but this is still weird.



"Cool... So shots?" Gemma laughs, and Harry immediately furrows his brows. Bet he regrets saying I was a friend right now.

"I'm down." I giggle as Gemma flags down the bartender. I'm ready for Harry to flip out any moment when he notices the fake ID sitting next to my glass on the tabletop. Instead, he laughs and grabs a shot that has been placed in front of him.

"What the hell." He shrugs, and downs it. I can't help but laugh at him of all people 'cutting loose' and taking shots with his sister and student, but this is actually hilarious. Gemma claps her hands excitedly and downs hers and I do the same, noticing that I definitely have more than a buzz and I'm only like 3 drinks in.

"So Claire, tell me something about you!" Gemma inquires, lining up the tray of shots she must have ordered while I was taking mine. I look up at Harry who looks comfortable and casual, making me relax a bit as well.

"Hmm... My brother owns a bar in New York?" I laugh, and her eyes go wide.

"What! That's so cool!" She gushes, taking another one back and I do the same. "Mine is just a boring little math teacher here in uhh... I don't know what town this is." She laughs, and I join her.

"I'm not boring! My students love me." He winks, and I nearly spit out my drink from laughing so hard.

"So cocky." I giggle, grabbing the glass and downing yet another shot. Shot after shot because none of this matters. I remind myself of this over and over again.

"So where did you two--" Gemma is about to ask a question, but her phone begins ringing. "Oh for fucks sake, it's my boss." She mumbles, answering it immediately. Harry wiggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh even harder.

"Yes?" Gemma says into the phone. "Right now? I'm with my broth-- Alright, I'll be right on it. No no, it's not a problem... Thanks." She says and hangs. She releases a frustrated groaned and digs into her wallet, pulling out a few twenty dollar bills.

"Where are you going?" Harry asks a little frantically, and I feel the same panic. I can't be drunk and alone with Harry!

"My stupid fucking boss needs me to fucking go home and do something for him on the stupid fucking computer fucking damn it!" She curses so much I can't help but laugh ridiculously loudly.

"Are you alright to drive?" Harry asks, his voice full of concern. I reach over the bar without thinking and grab two of the filled shot glasses and clink them together before downing them both.

"I'll be ok but your friend over there is a different story." She snickers, pointing towards me. I look back at them and feel my cheeks turn a shade of red but the embarrassment quickly evaporates into nothing.

"Bye Gemma! It was so nice meeting you!" I slur, pulling her into a quick hug which she happily gives in to. Being drunk tonight with strangers was part of the plan, but Harry being here wasn't.

"You're a lovely girl, I hope I see you around!" She smiles before kissing Harry's cheek and heading out the front door of the bar.

Once she's gone and it's just me and Harry, tension fills the air. Not bad tension, more awkward tension. I haven't been alone with him really since I saw Zayn with Perrie and we almost ki...

"What are you thinking about?" Harry asks, and I turn to him with a goofy smile.

"I should really get going." I sigh and hop down from my chair. My hands immediately touch the floor to balance me and when I look up, the room is spinning uncontrollably.

"You can't drive." He chuckles, leaving a few more dollars on the table. I reach into my wallet and pull out money, but he stops me. "I've got it." He laughs, wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me outside.

"Harry, I'm fine!" I giggle, my ankles twisting and turning in my heels. "I didn't even think you would be here, I was just gonna--" I start to say but he stops me.

"Just gonna what? Hangout at a bar underage and drink with strangers?" He retorts and I nod my head.

"Pretty much." I giggle and he let's out a frustrated sigh. I look for my keys in my wallet but when I hear a familiar jingle in the air I look up and notice Harry is already holding them.

"Mr. Styles, I need my keys." I say in a serious tone, but shortly after a smile creeps onto my face.

"You can't drive." He reminds me, walking over to his car. "Does your dad know where you are? Or should I take you to Cassidy's place?" He asks, and I shrug.

"I don't know... My dad thinks I'm at Cassidy's and Cassidy is at her aunts house for the holiday." I share, already knowing where this is headed... And to be honest, I love it.

"So my place?" He snorts, and a stupid grin crawls onto my lips.

"I suppose!" I slur, sliding into the familiar passenger side of his car and closing the door behind me.

To Harry and Zayn's apartment we go!

---

"I adooooooooooooooore you ho ho ho ho!" I sing to myself, and Harry releases another one of his loud, cackling laughs.

"You're a horrible singer." He laughs, helping me out of the passenger side of his car. I sit down on the concrete floor of the parking garage and reach my arms up at him.

"Carry me?" I whine, and without protesting he scoops me up and carries me up the stairs to his place. I can tell he has a buzz because if he didn't, he would probably be either hesitating or being more professional. When we get to the door of his apartment, my body tenses a bit.

"Zayn's not home right now." Harry laughs, and a wave of relief hits me.

"Thank god." I chuckle, and Harry pushes open the apartment door. I smile at how nothing has changed in their messy man cave and how it looks exactly the same as the last time I was here.

I step inside and plop down on the same couch I've sat in, cried in and rested on a few times. When I look back at Harry, he has a serious look on his face and I try to match his, but only laughter comes out.

"Why so serious?" I ask, making room for him to sit beside me. I kick my heels of and stretch my feet out lazily before turning to face him.

"Last time we were here together we almost kissed... Remember?" He asks, and I nod my head slowly.

"I remember." I laugh, but he remains serious. I continue looking at him, waiting for him to speak up but he doesn't say a word. Instead, we just stare into each others eyes lazily until our foreheads softly meet.

"Would it be crazy if we... If we tried to do that again?" He asks, and I release a shaky breath, admiring his dark green eyes that have flickers of light glinting off of them. He's absolutely beautiful and I don't think I've ever really found myself saying that about a guy before.

"Yes, it would be crazy." I sigh, and he pulls away but I instantly pull him back.

"Hmm?" He murmurs low and I close my eyes before responding.

"But we both like crazy, don't we?" I whisper in a hushed tone before slowly pressing my lips to his. For a second, we both pull away and look at each other but it's humanly impossible to hide the joy we're sharing. His hands pull me into him and our lips meet again to share a kiss, this time only more passionate. I can't get enough of the way our lips move in sync together and how every cell of my body feels like it's been lit on fire.

I want more of him, I need more. I never thought this would happen with him, but I never want it to end. His tongue doesn't need to battle for dominance with mine because I'm so drunk that I let it happen. Usually I would be putting my guard up or maybe more of a fight, but I'm putty in his hands. His fingertips travel up from my waist and cup my face gently, and I still want more.

"Harry..." I moan his name as his tongue travels down from my lips to my neck and he sucks softly, making me feel something I never felt with anyone before. I genuinely feel like there is electricity beaming off of me onto him and it's only making this more fucking incredible.

"You're so beautiful, Claire." He muses and before I can stop myself, I'm lifting his shirt over his head. Those tattoos, those beautiful damn tattoos make me smile so fucking huge and he let's out a small laugh before hovering over my body and pressing down.

"I'm so happy this is happening." I break the kiss to say, and we both release a stupid laugh before continuing kissing in the most heated way. His hands travel over my sensitive chest and squeeze gently, making me screw my eyes shut even harder.

Through our kissing and the most sensual grinding of my life, neither one of us heard the apartment door creak open. Neither one of us heard it or cared to listen to what was happening because in that very moment, nothing and no one could touch us.

That is, no one could touch us until Harry's body was ripped from mine and thrown against his own apartment wall. Until Zayn's dark brown eyes which were filled with fire and anger met mine and my heart wanted to fucking burst.

"You're fucking dead Styles!" Zayn growls, slamming his fist into Harry's nose.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

This can't be happening, but as many times as I try to pinch myself or believe that this is all a dream, the two of them remain in their apartment, at each others throats.

How the hell am I going to fix this? So much for nothing really matters, because now, literally everything fucking matters, and I'm completely stuck.

Notes

hi guys! I hope you liked this chapter as much as I did, it too soooo long to write and it got deleted when I was halfway through and ugh! so frustrating!

I have a really busy week ahead of me, my junior semi is on friday! this is my dress hahaha but it's not green like it shows, it's all silver and blue! do ya like? :)


please continue to comment and vote & bear with me this week! it's not gonna be easy to update lol so much going on! xxx

:)