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Mibba

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Listening to Niall

Chapter 36: letters for my memory

Peter handed over some Kleenex for me to wipe my eyes and cheeks.
"Well, I'm leaving" I say ignoring his out stretched hand. I stood up and was about to turn away when he stopped me.
"Come on Jamie, you can't avoid me forever"
"Watch me" I say
"You knew I was back, keeping tabs?" He smiled
"More like some friends gave me heads up to take the back road" I hiss
"Come on Jam, I'm making an effort, you never called me back"
"I have a different number since you didn't take no for an answer" I take a step back
"That's how you just throw away four years of your life?"
"So now you care?" I give him a sardonic expression "Who told you I was here?"
"No one.. You see? That's how well I know you"
I start walking back trying my best to get away from him.
"Jamie, you finally came to visit them ha? Big step for you love isn't it?" He was trying so hard to be sympathetic and understanding. But four years taught me to never put my trust in him. I don't know his reason for being here, but I'm soon to find out.
"Jamie please! Can you be a grown up for just a second and talk to me?" He begged.
"Be a grown up? You really have the audacity to just say that to me?" I feel as if my eyes went black. How dare he say that, after what he put me through?
I start walking away again, promising myself not to stop.
"Daniel told me you have a new guy" He followed me
"And that is none of your business" I throw at him.
"Tell me, is it a real relationship?" He was trying to break me so I'll stop and look at.
"As opposed to what we had?" I ask brusquely.
"Well it could be one of those fuzzy relationships that look and feel like a real one, except you're never sure if you can keep a toothbrush at his place. And you never say the word 'relationship', you only refer to it as 'this thing that we're doing' and you can't talk about being exclusive, even if you secretly want to" he is bubbling away mocking me.
"Funny you say.. that sounds a lot like what we had" I tell him.
"I did love you Jamie.. I still do" He caught my arm and pulled me to a stop.
"Let me go!" I try to pull free but with no use "You know peter there is nothing fuzzy about my relationship with Niall! And I'm sick and tired of people grabbing at me" I push him away.
Pushing Peter is like pushing concrete. He is all built up. My eyes widen at the realization of how much his body changed.
He let's go of my hands and looks down at me "I'm sorry I hurt you"
"Well you should be! Now leave me alone" I turn away once more. I walk down the footway trying to ignore the fact that Peter is still beside me matching my pace.
"Are you still in touch with May?" He asked. I scowl at him.
"What about Eleanor?"
I look straight ahead and try my best to make out as if he isn't there. I am coming close to Eleanor's street and decide to stop at her house, knowing it might be the only way to dispose of Peter.
"I'll see you soon" He said as I turn to El's front garden.
I don't say goodbye to him. I reach for the door knob and walk in.
"El?" I call out
"Over here" She yells out to me. Pepper runs up to greet me.
"Hello gorgeous" I stroke her head.
"What's happening?" She looked up from her laptop. She was sitting at the kitchen counter going through the 'Glamour' site.
"So I went to see Hilary and Max" I tell her.
"Good for you! How was it?"
"Sad, I didn't know they put his song on the stone. Must be Belinda's idea"
"Yeah, she always pushed him to write" El smiled and closed the screen.
"So listen to this. As I am sitting there who walks up to me?"
She gives me a blank look not knowing where I am going with this.
"Peter" I say banging my hands on the counter.
"Come again?" She said "How did he know you were there?"
"I don't know, but I think my brother told him, he was asking about Niall"
"Gosh what a prat! Did you talk to him?"
"He did most of the talking as I walked away"
"I can't believe he is back in town.. What are the odds he is here the same time you are?"
"He said he was looking for me. He asked if you and I are still friends" I smirk
"Yeah.. he never liked me much did he" Eleanor laughed.
"He also asked if I'm in touch with May"
"The nerve" El shook her head at that.
I used to date Peter on and off for almost four years. He was quite the charmer and he knew it as well. It all started at summer break between 9th and 10th grade.
My friends and I went for a holiday at the countryside. We wanted to soak up some sun before going back to school.
We drove up a small group of friends: Eleanor, Hilary and Max, Damien and me.
Damian is Max's cousin who stayed by Max that summer. He brought along a friend with him- Peter.
Peter and I hit it off from the start. He followed me around everywhere making sure I have everything I need to be comfortable. The first night there he serenaded me and paid me compliments. Eleanor wasn't buying his act and called him out on it the next morning. Needless to say, they didn't get along.
Peter got me hooked. I couldn't get enough of him. We did everything together. From going to parties and hanging out at friends houses to just sitting doing homework, even though we didn't go to the same school. Everything was perfect, but as Eleanor said it is all too good to be true.
After a few months Peter started dodging my calls and making excuses. I was so upset. Then I found out he was hanging out with my friends the ones I introduced him to. I threw a fit. Making sure they all knew about it.
But the next day Peter was back on his knees begging for forgiveness and promising to never hurt me again. Despite Eleanor telling me not to, I forgave him.
As time went on, it happened over and over again, until the last time. It happened two weeks before the accident.
Peter and I were fighting like always. That night Hilary called me telling me that our friend May was having late night text with Peter.
Since I knew what a flirt he could be I decided to go straight to her and ask for an explanation.
If you ever thought girls can be mean, you don't know the half of it.
May informed me that 'Peter is over you, and trying to forget you through me'
That’s when it finally downed on me that Eleanor saw through his act all along.
I told May that if she likes being the rebound girl she should be my guest and hung up. Then I walked over to Eleanor and cried my heart out. I erased Peter's number from my phone and promised myself that this time I'm staying away from him for good.
The next day there was a buzz going around my friends saying how mean I was to May. Apparently she went calling our friends bad mouthing me. All of my so called friends kept calling me up asking how I could have been so mean. After growing up together they all took May's word for it, befriending Peter, and freezing me out. However I had three people on my side. Eleanor, Hilary and Max. So we four kept to our selves doing our own thing.
After the accident a bunch of them tried reaching out to me but I turned most of them down. Peter, after hearing what had happened tried talking to me too. But this time I stayed true to myself and kept away. I got a new number making sure only a handful of friends had it and left for Uni, never looking back. Until now.
"Are you ready to go visit Kelly now?" Eleanor asked
"Yes, let's go" I get up from my seat.



We walk up to front door of Hilary's family home and knock. I haven't visited this house since the funeral. I couldn't face her mum's face, always cutting it short walking into her on the street.
"Jamie, Eleanor! What a lovely surprise." Kelly opened the door and stood aside to let us in.
Then she hugged us at turn and led us to the lounge.
"Tell me girls, how is university?"
Eleanor and I looked at each other. If not for the accident Hilary would be sitting here with us laughing about the crazy things we did, like building a snowman indoors and sitting it on the sofa.
"She would have been so proud to see what beautiful young ladies you both turned into" Kelly smiled at us.
"Hoe have you been?" I ask Hilary's mum.
"I've been doing ok, keeping busy"
"How is Sophie?" Eleanor asked about Hilary's little sister.
"She's doing very well, she's at Ballet practice right now"
"I went to see her today" I say "I mean, I went to visit Hilary"
"I thought that might be you" She smiled, taking out a piece of paper from her pocket.
"I just got back from there and found this" She held it up for us to see.
"You left a note?" Eleanor looked at me "You didn't mention that. Can I read it?"
I just nod at her, still looking at Kelly.
"Read it out love" Kelly says.

'I don't know if you've noticed, but this is the first time I came to visit you and Max. I couldn't bring myself to face you until now. For such a long time I blamed myself for your death, and blaming myself for Max's too, for not keeping a better eye on him. I miss you Hilary. Eleanor too. We live on campus in a one room dorm. I picture of the three of us is on display for people to see as they walk in. In my head I picture you by our side in everything we do. I know now that it was meant to be, god wanted you by his side since he circles himself in good and beautiful things. Eleanor and I have new boyfriends. Yes I kept my word and stayed away from Peter. Eleanor is dating this funny bloke called Louis. He is absolutely amazing. Max would have gotten on with him really well. As for me I'm dating this guy Niall. We became best of friends before we started dating. I am happy.
I haven't been to see your family. I couldn't bring myself to that either. But I did keep tabs on Sophie. She grew to be as beautiful as you. My brother Oliver said she is an amazing ballerina. You should be so proud.
Eleanor and I are going to visit your mum. Then after that we will go see Max's family too. I think it is time.
I miss you Hilary. I miss your laugh, I miss you telling El and me how crazy we are. I miss you joining our crazy ideas even after you state how stupid we are.
You will always be in my memory
Xx

"Jamie! This is just lovely" Eleanor wipes away a tear.
"I had to write to her." I shrug at them
"You know, after the accident I had a diary full of letters to Hilary and Max" Eleanor told Kelly.
"I think we all did, do you still have it?" She asked El
"No, Jamie and I buried that and some other things last year"
"You should visit me more girls, I miss having you around here" She hugs us once again.
"We will" We promised as we got up to leave.

"So when are you leaving to Niall's?" Eleanor asked when we were out on the street.
"Leaving so soon?"
We turn to find Peter and Damien behind us.
"I don't recall letting you speak to us" Eleanor said coldly
"You haven't changed a bit love" Peter looked her up and down
"Can't say the same to you, looking kind of sagged over there dear" Eleanor pointed out, even though we all knew that's not true.
"Fancy seeing you two back on the streets" Damien smiled
"Our home town our streets" I say. I take El's hand and turn to pull her away.
"When are you coming back Jam? Maybe we could hang" Peter yelled out to me as we walked away.
"In your dreams" I say without turning.
"I hope he won't be around when the guy's come over next week" El finally says
"Me too, I can't see anything good coming out of it"
We go back to Eleanor's before going to see Belinda Max's mum.
"I'm just going to call Niall before we leave" I tell her and take out my phone.

"Hi babe, how is it being back home?" He asked
"I miss you, too bad you didn't come back with me" I say
"You'll see me soon enough, when you come up here next week. How's El?"
"She's good, she says hello" I smile as she shouts a 'hi Niall' out to him
"Of course you two are together" He chuckles. There is a beeping sound from my phone indicating there is someone waiting for me to answer. I look at the screen for a moment, but didn't recognize the number.
"Send your mum my love! I'll see you next week" I blow him a kiss through the phone.
I hang up the call to find three missed calls and a message, all from the same number.
-Jamie you can't avoid me forever.
I'll be waiting. You will come and talk
to me, wait and see.

I show the message to Eleanor.
"How did he get your number?" She asked.
"I don't know, what did he mean by 'you'll come looking'?"
"I don't know" she answers me.

I can't help but feel a little alarmed. I'm happy I'm leaving next week to Niall's and I am happy he'll be returning with me home. Maybe it is a good Idea for him being with me when Peter is roaming the streets of my home town after all.

Notes

Comments

I LOVED THE ENDING.... but haz is still alone... oh well

Yassss they kissed! :) i cant stop smiling!

I an so happy

I think her and hazza should be together

They have to get back together :'(((

I just got my friend hooked and so she can tell me :D
But they really have to stay together if they don't I will cry and never stop