I’m up. It is 6 am and Eleanor is asleep. Today I move a little faster than yesterday. Maybe it's motivation or maybe my body is getting used to it. I'm all ready to go run. I take my earphones since today I'll be running alone.
I walk down the stairs putting the earbuds in. I start jogging listening to Alex Goot and Against the current. I’m trying to keep myself breathing right so I could go more than 15 minutes.
After a few songs I realize I'm not running alone. I look to my right to see Harry running alongside me. I decide to ignore him. We continue to jog for another few songs, but I start to get tired. I slow down a little but then I remember that 58 and that pushes me to more.
I can do this. I don't need no one's approval. This is up to me. Not Niall not Eleanor and especially not Harry.
"Jamie"
He can't go out with me, then dump me and then come back and tell me what to do.
"Jamie"
What the hell I'm not good enough to date but I'm good enough to boss around?
"Jamie stop!" Harry tags my shoulders, and makes me come to a stop.
I start coughing. I can't catch my breath.
"Drink some water" Harry hands me a bottle. I try to sip from it, but I can't get my coughing under control. I lean down on my knees to try and control my breathing but I can't. I feel like I'm choking and I feel it turning into a panic attack. I'm used to getting coughing attacks. It's not asthma but it's something similar. I used to get them a lot when I was younger, and I was taught how to control them but right know I can't remember.
"Jamie. Jamie! Look at me" Harry got hold of me and made me stand up straight and look at him. "Look at me! Breathe!" He yelled
I opened my eyes wide. I remembered what to do. I put my hands over my mouth forcing me to breathe through my nose. Harry was looking at me shocked, but he seemed to understand what I was doing and pressed his hands over mine.
I feel myself calm down.
"You ok?" He was concerned.
I moved my hands from my face but I just nodded with my head, not able to bring myself to speak.
"You scared me to hell" He shook me lightly. "Why didn't you say you suffer from asthma? You shouldn't be running like this" He says looking into my eyes. He seems scared.
"It's not asthma" I say in a weak voice.
"Whatever it is, did you lose your mind?" He touched my chin tilting my head up to him making me look from my feet to his eyes again.
I push him away "Why are you even here Harry? What do you care?" I say I'm pissed off and tired from the attack.
"Because something is up with you. I won't let you run by yourself" He said
"Why the hell do you care? You don't even know me! We were out on two dates and then you were gone. The fact that we hang with the same people doesn't make us friends" I yell at him, which makes me cough again. Harry puts his hands on my mouth like I did before but I push him away.
"We can be." He looks at me "We can be friends. "I want us to"
"Stop treating me like a child" I say
"Fine. Truce?' He asked me putting out a hand for me to shake.
I look up at him "Truce" I shake it.
"Come, lets walk back" He says putting a hand on my shoulder turning me to the way back.
"As a friend can we keep this between us?" I ask him
"Sure" He answers me.


"Where the hell were you?" Eleanor ran to me as I walked into the flat
"I went out for a run" I say putting down my water battle
"Since when do you run?" She asked me
"It's something new I started"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know just didn't think of it" I sigh
"Ok Niall is on his way here, so you better call and tell him you're here and you're fine" She tells me
"Why is he on his way here?" I ask her
"Because I wake up to find your bed empty and your phone here. So I called him to see if you were by him but you weren’t" She says
"Well I'm going to shower so you can let him know I'm fine" I say and walk away.

When I get out of the shower Niall is sitting on my bed with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Niall" I say. He hands over the cup to me. "You're late. So get you're things and take the cup of coffee with you" He gets up.
"Where is everyone?" I ask.
"They walked" He says walking to the door. I feel bad now. I didn't mean for them to be late, but then again no one asked them to wait for me.
"Why did you wait for me?" I asked him.
"Are you serious?" He looked at me funny. "Do you know how scared Eleanor and I were when we couldn’t find you? And then you walk in and say that you went out for a run? Just like that?" He says
"What I'm not allowed to go running now?" I can't believe we are having this argument
"No I didn't say that. But leave a note for Eleanor or take your phone with you. You're a girl, you shouldn’t be running alone without a phone anyway" He says
"I can take care of myself I don't need to run with a phone" I yell at him.
"You know what Jamie, I'm late and so are you. We can have this talk after school" He said opening the door.
"It's not my fault you're late. I didn't call you here, I didn't ask you to wait for me" I say.
The minute the words leave my mouth I regret them. I see the hurt in his blue eyes. I never fight with Niall, what is going on?
"I'll wait for you in the car" He walks out the door.
I put on some shoes take my bag and run out after him. I get into the car and close the door.
"I'm sorry" I say. Niall stayed quiet.
"I didn't mean what I said I appreciate that you're here, and that you waited for me." I say.
Still Niall kept quiet. "Ni please say something" I look at him. He starts the car. We drive to the building quietly. He parks the car and turns the engine off. I wait a moment to see if he'll say something, but he doesn’t. I reach over and kiss his cheek, and then I turn to open the door.
"We didn't know where you were" He said. I turned to face him.
"I know" I say quietly.
"You hear stories about these girls who disappear from the track they were running or from the park or wherever. And getting a call from El at 8 in the morning and her asking me if you're here with me" He stopped and looked at me.
"I'm sorry, you're right! I need to apologies to Eleanor too. I really am sorry I wasn't thinking" I say.
"Why did you go running?"
"I just needed some air, to move myself, it seemed like a good Idea, next time I'll take my phone with" I give him a hug.
"Please do and we should get you pepper spray just in case" He hugs me back
"So you're not mad at me anymore?" I look up at him
"I can never be mad at you" He kissed me.


Class is nearly over. I'm not feeling well. My head hurts me and I feel weak. I haven't eaten anything today. Only sipped from that cold coffee that I left in Niall's car.
I still need to go find Eleanor and apologies for this morning.
Niall texted me to say they're playing football and Perrie and El are there too.
I make my way to them. I really am not feeling well.

"Eleanor" I call out when I get to the stadium.
"She walks over to meet me half way.
"Look I'm really sorry for this morning, I was such a bitch" I say
"Yeah you were" She smiles at me" But I forgive you"
We walk to where Perrie was and I wave to the boys. Once again Harry is with them.
"Jamie? You feeling ok?" Perrie asks me.
"I.. umm.. no" I say. I feel everything spin
"Niall" I hear Eleanor calling and then everything goes black.

"Jamie?" I open my eyes. I'm lying on the ground my head is supported by someone's bag.
Niall is leaning down beside me.
"What happen?" I asked. I try to sit up but I get pushed back down.
"Drink this" Zayn gives me some cola. I sip it. I feel a little better
"You fainted" Niall looked at me.
"Why is that?" I ask confused
"You tell us" Harry is leaning over me too.
"What?" Perrie said
"What did you eat today?" Harry asked. I kept quiet.
"What did you eat yesterday?" He asked.
"Apple" I say.
"Only an apple?" Eleanor asked loudly
"Jamie? What is going on with you?" Niall asks helping me sit up.
I look at Harry.
"Tell them" He says
"Tell us what?" Niall looks from me to Harry.
"Tell them Jamie. Or I will" Harry says again. I keep quiet.
"Jamie is starving herself so she can lose weight" He says to my friends
"No way! She wouldn't do something so stupid" Niall says looking at me
I look at Harry. He promised he wouldn’t, but he did.
"Ok, come on lets get you back to the flat" Niall picks me up
"I can walk" I say
"You don't get to talk now" Niall says.
Not everyone comes back with us. Only El Harry and Niall.

Niall put me down on the couch. Eleanor gave me a bowl of soup.
"Tell me what you know" Niall looks at Harry.
Harry glances at me and then starts talking. He tells them how I came up to him and asked to run with him. How that he wouldn't run with me unless I tell Niall. He told them how I walked away from him and how he decided to come run with me just to keep an eye, and about my cough attack. He didn't leave anything out.
"It's because of Ariel" Eleanor said looking at all of us.
"Why would you let that stupid girl get into your head?" She asked me.
"I told you already that you're just as you should be. If you lose more than 3 pounds you will be under weight. That is really bad." Harry told me.
"How much does she weigh?" Niall asked
"58 yesterday" Harry tells him
"Jamie that is how much I weigh on a good day" Eleanor says
"Really? Wait what do you mean on a good day?" I ask
"It means that if you don't drink enough for example then you can weigh two pounds less that day or if you drank enough then two pounds more, It changes" Harry said
"I didn't know that" I say.
"Well I need to go. Hope you feel better."Harry says "Sorry about this Ni, talk to you later"
"Wait I'll walk you" Eleanor says and they leave
"Jamie" Niall starts
"Don't" I say
"Why would you do this? Why didn't you tell me?" He looked so hurt. I can't look into those beautiful blue hurting eyes so I look away.
"Look at me" He said
"I can't" I say
"Look at me dammit"
I start crying.
"Why do you love me?" I ask him
"What?" He is shocked, didn't see that question coming
"Tell me why me" I say
Niall took my hands in his and pulled me closer to him.
"Jamie I love you because you're funny, and smart and loving. You care about your friends and you're amazing. You get me better than anyone else, you inspire me, you're my best friend and you're beautiful inside and out" He looks deep into my eyes
"I can't care less how much you weigh, as long as you are well and by my side that’s enough for me"
He reaches out to wipe away my tears.
"Next time something is bothering you come and tell me, I always will be her for you" he says. I node and give him a hug.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on Ni. I love you" I say into his neck
"I love you too babe"