No Regrets

Once I got out of the building, I walked far away. I walked until my feet started to hurt too bad in my combat boots. I got really lost, especially since I’m basically directionally retarded, so when I finally couldn’t take it anymore I pulled out my phone and dialed the first number I knew by heart.

“Hey Liz what’s up?” the voice on the other line said.

“I’m really lost, and I need a ride back to my place, do you think you could come pick me up?” I guess I sounded desperate, because otherwise he would never agree to this.

“Sure Liz, just text me where you are and I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay thanks, Grayson.” I said kindly. We hadn’t talked since our messy breakup about two months ago, but like I said- I was desperate.

I sat down on the curb, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I started crying. I was thinking back to a good six days ago, when I had never met Harry. Harry was just a voice on the radio. I immediately started to regret going home with him from the club that night, because I was facing reality at this point, and the reality of my situation was that Harry Styles was killing me emotionally, and I didn’t know how much more I could handle.

I was taking deep breaths, trying to make it look like I hadn’t been crying, when the familiar black truck pulled up in front of me.

“Liz!” Grayson said as he got out of the truck and pulled me into a big hug. It felt weird. I used to dream of the feeling of Grayson’s arms around me, but at this moment they felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar. He even smelled different- not like I remembered him. This is when I realized that all of this was alien to me because I had Harry stuck in my head. Harry’s arms. Harry’s smell. Shaking it off, I walked around and got into the passenger side of the car.

“So, what happened?” Grayson asked curiously as we drove off.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed, unsure of what I was even allowed to say or not to say.

“Just tell me! You can trust me!” Grayson said, obviously not thinking of what those words meant to me.

“Now I’m definitely not going to tell you because you should know first-hand how much I can’t trust you.” I said flatly as I remembered all the heartbreak that he caused me. Grayson cheated on me not once, not twice, but multiple times and with multiple girls. After that comment, we just sat in awkward silence listening to the radio. It wasn’t that bad, until the radio station began to play Little Things. My heart literally felt like it was being stabbed with one of those little, plastic cocktail swords as I listened to Harry’s solo. His voice was so gravelly in this song; it reminded me of his morning voice. Even though I didn’t want to, my eyes started to water again. Grayson obviously noticed.

“OH! Is this about that boy-band guy that you’ve been sleeping with!?” He exclaimed.

“No, Grayson, and like I said- I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You know I know you’re sleeping with him. Everyone at my school is talking about it. Did you ever think about how this is making me feel?” He said as he pulled up in front of my apartment building.

“Did you ever think about how sleeping with multiple girls during our 14 month relationship would make me feel?” I asked him as I got out and slammed the car door behind me. As I walked through the lobby and waited for the elevator, I checked my phone. I had 27 missed calls from Harry, and 7 collectively from four other unknown numbers. Numbers that I assumed belonged to the boys.

I was typing a quick group text to Nicole and Emma as I walked down the hallway when I looked up and saw none other than Liam and a girl standing outside my door. They obviously heard me coming because they looked up and immediately smiled. Liam was the first to hug me.

“Liz, we’re so glad to see you! We’ve been worried sick. Where’d you go!?” Liam began, sounding extremely flustered. Then he seemed to remember something important, “oh, this is my girlfriend Danielle,” he said as he gestured to the gorgeous curly-haired girl next to him. She immediately hugged me too.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Liam’s told me everything, and I thought it would be nice if we came to talk.” She smiled at me, and seemed really genuine, so I thought why not?

“Sure,” I unlocked my door, and we walked inside. They sat down on the couch, “I would offer y’all something, but to be honest, I really have nothing in my kitchen except for water.”

“Love, we’re fine, just come have a seat.” Danielle said, motioning to the spot on the couch in between her and Liam. I listened, walked over, and sat down. Immediately remembering that last night, this is where Harry and I were. God why was I so attached to him!? I had known him for six fucking days for god’s sake, and we weren’t even in a relationship! What was wrong with me?

“Liz, we came here because we didn’t know what to do. After you walked out like that, Harry was inconsolable. He locked himself in the dressing room and wouldn’t come out; he only opened the door for Louis.” Liam said frowning. “The rest of us boys called off the rehearsal and decided to make a game plan because honestly, seeing Harry after he’s been with you is the happiest we’ve seen Harry in months. I know this has only been a few days, and this sounds a little crazy, but there’s something special about you two, and we didn’t want One Direction to be the reason that this something special ends.” I started to protest, because this “something special” might be the end for One Direction, but before I could get my thought out, Danielle spoke.

“I know you don’t know me, so you really have no reason to believe me, but I really want you to trust me on this, okay?” I nodded. “Being a member of the ‘One Direction Girlfriend Club’ is honestly the most stressful and hurtful thing I’ve ever experienced- everything you do, say, or wear pisses someone off in one way or another, but you just have to know that Harry’s worth it, just like I know that Liam’s worth
it-”

“But I’m not even a girlfriend!” I exclaimed as I interrupted her.

“That doesn’t mean that your any less significant in Harry’s life right now!” she corrected me. “I fully agree with Liam. Eleanor and I were both talking about it- we’ve NEVER seen Harry like this with any other girls! Not once has he barricaded himself in his dressing room, and Harry has never missed a rehearsal.” I was speechless.

“Also, Liz,” Liam said, “you acted a bit rash when you just ran out of there, because honestly none of us knew that management was going to say that- especially Harry. And also, you didn’t even give Harry a chance to explain or find a way to make this work. And I think that just crushed him.”

They were both so right; I was torn in so many directions I was basically shreds.

*HARRY’S POV*

When I got Liam’s text that Liz was finally back at her apartment safe and sound I was relieved. She seemed so angry when she left, and I couldn’t tell if that anger was directed at me or the publicity manager or what. It scared me so bad I thought that it was all just over between me and her, and I was terrified to lose that. Whatever “that” even is. Louis came back into the room with Eleanor and they both sat down across from me on one of the sofas.

“Haz,” Eleanor said empathetically, “I know this is hard on you, but you need to trust me when I say this is 110 times harder on Lizzie. I’m one of the One Direction girlfriends, so I understand how hard this is on her. But also, the fact that she’s not even your girlfriend yet must be killing her… I’m sorry I know this is all difficult to hear, but I just want to be honest with you. I really just don't know what to tell you except that you need to make this right.” She finished softly.

“Basically, Harry, you just need to get your shit sorted out.” Louis said.

“BUT THAT’S THE THING! MANAGEMENT WON’T EVEN LET ME SORT THIS OUT. THEY’RE GIVING ME ONE OPTION!” I shouted back angrily.

“Well then you need to stop waiting for management to give you another option and just make one for yourself.” Louis told me calmly. I shouldn’t have shouted at him, I felt bad.

“I’m sorry,” I said to him and Eleanor. “Thanks for coming to talk to me, but could I have some time for myself again?” They stood up and hugged me before they walked out.

Even though I got some insight from their advice, I was still just as confused as before, so I ran my fingers through my curls as I sat there and tried to think of a new option for me and Liz.

Notes