No Regrets

*LIZZIE’S POV*

I woke up early the next morning. Like crack of dawn, 6:00 in the morning early. I rolled over, careful not to disturb the sleeping curly mess that was Harry, as I stood up and found my bra on the ground. Checking my phone, I was surprised to see I had no messages. I don’t know why, but some part of me was expecting a text or something from Niall. Maybe not. Maybe he was drunker than I thought. Maybe he was angry at me. Maybe I should’ve let him explain.

Too many maybe’s.

I walked across the massive hotel suite to the bathroom where I washed my face with cool water before I threw on a pair of tight jeans with one of Harry’s white tshirts. Looking in the mirror again, still not satisfied, I put my hair up in a messy bun and applied a little bit of mascara before I gave up. It was still 6:00 in the morning, after all. I grabbed my phone and a room key before I went downstairs to the in-hotel coffee shop which was thankfully open at this ungodly hour. The rest of the lobby was abandoned, which I was grateful for, because it meant I would be able to think.

After ordering the biggest mug of green tea the man sold, I sat down at a small table with just my thoughts. I would have to tell Harry. I decided that last night. But how would I tell him that? He’s going to be mad at me. What if he breaks up with me? I can tell him it was Niall’s fault. Niall kissed me. He moved his head. No. I can’t blame Niall, because I didn’t exactly stop him. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell Harry. But I do. I would tell Harry, I decided, returning to my starting point. Then my thoughts drifted to Niall… why didn’t I stop him? Was there a possibility that I was attracted to my boyfriend’s bandmate? I physically shook my head at the thought, not even allowing myself to further explore the feelings. But did Niall have feelings for me? What does ‘not sorry’ even mean? My thoughts were running in endless loops as I thought of the kiss. That one stupid kiss.

“Lizzie?” I heard an all-too-familiar Irish accent say in front of me, snapping me out of my analysis. “Erm, mind if I sit down?” Niall asked awkwardly. He was wearing sweatpants with a tshirt and a beanie. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all.

“Sure, Niall,” I said gesturing to the seat across from me.

“We need to talk.” We both said assertively at the same time after he sat down. I laughed at the contrast in our voices and accents which granted a smile from him, too.

“You first, I guess?” I said before I took a sip out of my massive mug.

“I think I love you.” He said quietly, whereas I practically spit out my tea.

“Niall, I’m Harry’s girlfriend.” I said softly after a moment, trying to remind him incase there was a small chance that he forgot. I didn’t know what else to say.

“I know. That’s the problem. I just don’t fucking know what to do. I’ve felt this way since the first time you walked into our room at that restaurant in New Orleans… since we saw you at the club that night… since ever. I knew that Harry felt the same way too, but he just acted on it sooner. After that, I tried to distract myself and kept reminding myself that you two love each other, but it just hasn’t worked. I keep wondering, what could've happened between us, ya' know? I mean...I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I just don’t know what the fuck to do.” He finished breathlessly. I had goosebumps.

“I honestly just don’t know how to respond.” I said, being blatantly honest with him. “I can’t do this, Niall. We can’t do this. It won’t work.” I stammered.

“I know. And I shouldn’t have kissed you last night. It wasn’t fair to you, or Harry.” He said almost whispering, looking deeply sorry. It was killing me inside to see him like this… the boy with boundless happy energy looked simply defeated.

“We have to tell Harry.” I said, looking into my tea to avoid Niall’s icy stare. “I don’t want to, and I don’t think you do either, but we have to tell him.”

“The question is- who talks to him first? You or me?” Niall asked. This was something that I hadn’t thought of- who should Harry hear it from first? His girlfriend? Or the boy who was practically his brother?

“I think you should talk to him first.” I said after I took a deep breath. This was the right thing. Let Niall explain, and then I’ll deal with the aftermath of Harry’s temper.

“So how do we do this? I go up to his room and where do you go?” Niall asked, obviously agreeing with my decision.

“I guess I’ll just wait outside in the hall? That way when you’re done, you can come out, and I’ll go in to talk to him?” I suggested.

“Well I can’t think of anything better.” Niall said, however I could think of multiple better things. To start, not kissing Niall in the first place would’ve been something better. We sat there in silence. “I’m sorry I did this to you and Harry.” Niall whispered as he reached across the table and squeezed my hand. I pulled my hand back and stood up.

“Well, let’s get this over with.” I said as Niall stood up too, “it makes me sad that this is what he’s waking up to… this and a hangover.” I sighed as we walked over to the elevators.

*HARRY’S POV*

In my dream, Liz was shaking my arm. Wait. That might be real life. I squinted my eyes open to the surprising and very close Niall, and my girlfriend no where to be seen.

“Glad you’re up.” Niall said as he let my arm go. I sat up in bed.

“What the hell. What time is it?” I asked as I closed my eyes again. My brain felt like shit.

“About 7:30… I got you some water.” He handed me a glass that I assumed he filled with hotel tap water. I drank it anyway.

“So, what’s up? Where’s Liz?” I asked Niall, still confused as to why he was now sitting across from me in a rather fluffy armchair.

“Harry, there’s something I need to tell you. Actually, something I’ve needed to tell you for a while.” Niall looked down at his hands.

“What’s wrong?” I asked distractedly as I got up and dug through my suitcase for jeans and a tshirt to dress for the day.

“It’s about Lizzie…” Niall said softly after a moment. That got my attention. I stopped adjusting my "sex-hair" beanie that I had just put on my head and went to go sit down by Niall.

“What’s wrong with Lizzie? Niall? Is she okay?” I asked rather quickly as the worst possible scenarios ran through my head.

“No, Harry. She’s fine. It’s just that…” he trailed off and looked away again.

“Niall. What is it? You can tell me anything!” I was going to continue, but he cut me off.

“I love her too, Harry.” He finally said as he looked up at me. It was as if someone had just kicked me in the chest wearing a steel-toed boot. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak. And I couldn’t look away from him either as he struggled to explain. “I have for a while. I know it’s wrong, and I’ve tried to just stop, but it’s killing me. I just don’t know what to do, and the worst part is that…” he took a deep breath, “the worst part is that…” he was stammering as I sat there mortified, “I kissed her last night.” Niall finally rushed out the final sentence in a big breath before he collapsed his head in his hands. I was stunned.

Niall kissed Lizzie.

My Lizzie.

My girlfriend.



Which also meant... my girlfriend kissed Niall.

I stood up quickly and walked out the room.

*LIZZIE’S POV*

I was standing a few doors down the hallway as Niall was in my room talking to Harry. I had started crying, honestly, because I was so nervous about how Harry would react. I didn’t have much time to be nervous though, because I heard a door slam down the hall. I looked up, and Harry was walking towards me.

“Harry?” I said his name as he looked me dead in the eyes, but didn’t say anything to me. He stopped for a moment, and I could practically feel myself burning in his smoldering glare.

“Harry, talk to me.” I begged as I reached forward and placed one of my hands on his chest.

“Don’t touch to me.” He said flatly. Surprised, I removed my hand and took a step back.

“What?” I asked him quietly.

“Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t talk to me. Just don’t.” He said in a voice that I had never heard before. It was almost hateful, but he sounded more hurt than anything. He looked at me one last time before he walked down the hall, leaving me standing there alone.

Notes