No Regrets

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked Grayson who was standing right in front of me.

“What do you think I’m doing here? I came to talk to you, babe.” He said in his stupid sweet-talk voice.

“I’m not your babe, and we don’t have anything to talk about.” I said flatly as I tried to shut the door in his face.

“Oh, but babe, I think we do have things to talk about.” He said as he stepped forward into my apartment, causing me to take a step backwards.

“Who is it, love?” Harry said as he walked up behind me.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Grayson said harshly.

“I should ask the same thing of you!” Harry said back just as harshly. Harry recognized him from their last encounter which ended in Harry busting his hand on Grayson’s face.

“Harry, I’ve got it. Stop.” I said, not wanting to get Harry worked up.

“Yeah, Harry. You heard her. Stop.” Grayson said, imitating me and further angering Harry.

“Shut up, Grayson! Also, you’re in no place to ask why Harry’s here in the first place!” I said back at him.

“I think I do have a place to ask why you have another guy spending the night with you on a Monday night! A little slutty, dontcha think?” Grayson insulted me. Harry was fuming.

“Why don’t you just leave?” Harry said as more of an order than a question.

“No, I think you should be the one to leave. And head all the way back to whatever country you came from.” Grayson was never good with insults. That sounded pretty dumb on his part.

“Lizzie doesn’t even want you here! She didn’t invite you; however, she did invite me!” Harry replied as he stated the obvious.

“Yeah well she certainly wanted me when she called me a few weeks ago for a ride when she was lost on the sidewalk of some unsafe neighborhood after you upset her so much she literally ran away from you!” Grayson practically yelled back at Harry. That was more than enough, and I could tell that it didn’t just make Harry angry, but it also hurt him. Harry was speechless, and so was I, because I realized that I hadn't told Harry that I called Grayson.

“Grayson?” I finally said very softly.

“What?” Grayson spat back at me.

“Get the fuck out of here now.” I said calmly, even though inside I was screaming. He turned around and slammed the door shut behind him. I turned around to face Harry who had his eyes closed and his fists clenched. I took a deep breath before I said anything.

“Har-” I started to say.

“Is that true?” He interrupted me as he opened his eyes.

“Is what true?” I asked.

“Is it true that after management told us that we couldn’t be together, which was something I had no control over, and you ran out on me- leaving me worried sick, not answering any of my phone calls or even any from the rest of the guys, you were sitting there dialing HIS number!? Are you fucking kidding me!?” His voice elevated to a shout. He was so hot-tempered. I didn’t want to start crying, but I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I looked up at the ceiling and tried not to blink, so the tears wouldn’t come out. They did anyway.

“Harry, I couldn’t even think straight. I was so upset.” I said softly.

“That’s no excuse! You think I wasn’t upset!? What they said was news to me, too! But you don’t see me going and calling up some ex!” He threw back at me. I had never seen him this angry. “And now I’m supposed to go on tour, and leave you here and TRUST you!? When you can just call THAT up again?!” He gestured to the door, which made me assume that THAT referrred to Grayson.

“You know what Harry? I did call him! But it’s only because it scared me! It scared me how upset I got when I was told I couldn’t have you! That’s how much I already liked you at the time! And you and I weren’t even dating or anywhere near what we are now! And even then, when I did see him, I didn’t even want him. Or anything to do with him. He hugged me, and all I could think about was you. How you hugged me. How I felt when your arms wrapped around me. How you always smelled so good. How my head rests perfectly at the top of your chest and your chin rests perfectly on the top of my head. So I really don’t understand why you’re all worried about my nonexistent feelings for him now when you KNOW how much I love YOU!” I finished my rant, out of breath as more uncontrolled tears ran down my cheeks. Harry stood there, speechless.

“You really have no feelings for him?” Harry softly questioned me- his tone entirely different than before. “Was all of that true? You really felt that strongly about me back then?”

“That was all 100% true. Back then and still to this day; this is different than I’ve felt with any other guy. If was lying, why would I have applied to universities in London? Why would I get so excited about spending my summer in London? It’s all because I get to be with you!”

“Wait what? You’re spending your summer in London?” He asked me, confused, as I realized I let my secret spill.

“Dammit! I was planning on surprising you later. I got accepted into a study abroad program for all of July and August! I’ll be living in a student flat in London. I’m going to fly out with y’all when you’re done touring. Danielle and Eleanor and I were all talking about it earlier today.” I explained.

“That’s incredible!” Harry said as he smiled, and he picked me up in a hug- making me completely forget about Grayson and the fight he caused. Harry kissed my forehead after he put me down. He then reached both of his hands up to hold my face as he used his thumbs to wipe under my eyes.

“I’m so sorry, love. I was so wrong about that. I never want to see you cry again.” Harry whispered. “I love you, and I know exactly what you mean when you say you were scared. I’ve never felt this way either.” He kissed my lips for a moment before I pulled away.

“I love you too, Harry.” I said as I smiled at him, glad that this ended almost as quickly as it began. “Now let’s go finish our mountain of Chinese food,” I said as I held his hand and we sat back down on the couch. I decided not to press play on the movie.

“Liz?” Harry asked me as I was chewing on an eggroll.

“Yeah?” I said with a mouthful.

“What did happen between you and him? You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to..” He said delicately.

“Nothing extraordinary. We dated for 14 months until I found out that he cheated on me with a number of girls that would make Tiger Woods jealous.” After a look of confusion from Harry, I explained again without using the American golfer. “He cheated a lot. Everyone knew, but me. He really embarrassed me, but most of all it hurt me. That was the closest thing I had ever felt to loving someone, so when he did that to me it kinda fucked me over for a while.” Harry’s empathetic eyes made me continue. “I went through a bad time where I didn’t really respect myself, and I made a lot of bad decisions. It was really Emma and Nicole who helped me get out of my bad time just a couple weeks before I met you..” After a moment, Harry spoke.

“Well, he is the biggest idiot I’ve ever heard of. I don’t know why ANYONE would ever hurt you so bad so intentionally. You’re too amazing to have to deal with someone like him.” Harry said as I smiled at him.

“Thanks, Styles. You’re not too bad yourself.” I said as I winked at him and got back to my eggroll. I wanted to lighten the mood a bit. As I finished, I came up with a question to ask him.

“So, Harry, tell me..”

“Tell you what?” He asked as he grabbed all the trash and threw it away.

“What exactly are you going to miss about me while you’re gone?” I asked him in a somewhat teasing voice.

“Hmm…” He exhaled as he sat next to me on the couch again. I turned and wrapped my legs around his torso. “Let’s start with your eyes.”

“What will you miss about my eyes?” I asked, thinking that my brown eyes were nothing compared to his green.

“How the light looks like it gets trapped in the brown of your eyes and turns them almost golden.” He said. “Now it's your turn. Tell me something you’ll miss about me.”

“Hmm.. I’ll go with your lips.” I said as I bit my own lip.

“Oh, and why my lips?” He said as he inched his face closer to me and placed his hand behind my neck.

“Well, I’m not sure.” I said, even though I was totally sure of why I would miss those lips of his. “So why don’t you give me something to miss about your lips.” I couldn’t finish my sentence before he took the very obvious hint and crashed his lips onto mine again.

Notes