Save My Love

"You were only back together for like three days before he started avoiding you again. Why?" Sammi asked, examining her nails.

"Long story. I guess he just kinda scared himself. Harry came over and he blew up at him and was ashamed after he realized he scared me a bit," I explained. Of course, there was more to the story than that, but I wasn't naïve enough to go around telling people the guy of my dreams was actually a superhero in disguise.

"Well just go and visit him! I mean, you weren't that scared, were you?"

"Not enough to want him to stay away from me."

"Then there you go. Just let him know everything's alright. Based on the last situation, he's the kind of guy who will wait until you're ready to start things."

I silently agreed, looking away from her hands and down to my own. I had a habit of picking them out of anxiety, and as of right now, they were quite stubby.

I decided to take Sammi's advice (as usual) and drive over to Niall's. I knew it would be the obvious awkward topic in the room, but might as well get it over with now. I walked right up to his porch and knocked confidently. But when he answered, my esteem dropped.

"N... Niall?"

"Hey Pippa," he smiled weakly.

"What happened to you?!" I felt a lump rise in my throat. One look up and down, and you'd think he skipped every meal for a month. What was once a rosy, glowing face was now pale and sunken in. His arms looked weak and scrawny, and his shirt was barely staying up on his shoulders. My original plan was to hug him to show him I wasn't scared, but now I was afraid I'd break him.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"What?"

"I don't want to be the reason you're in physical pain. So I'm cutting back on the proteins."

"Niall, you've been cutting back on way more than protein!" I raised my voice, not caring that it cracked at the end. Tears pricked my eyes, but I blinked them away in an effort to look serious.

"Alright, I'm cutting back in general. But I promise, I'm fine! And now I won't hurt you."

It took all my self-control to not yell at him any more or push him like before.

"Can I come in?" I asked, looking down. He didn't answer, but just stepped back as he opened the door wider. I walked in and straight to the kitchen to make him something, anything that would help.

"Get out of there! I'm fine!" he called.

"Cut the act, this is ridiculous," I muttered loud enough for him to hear as I searched through his fridge. I figured frozen burger patties was the closest I was gonna get to "meat for his bones", so I wasted no time in throwing 2 or 3 in the microwave. I grabbed an apple and tossed it to him.

"Eat this in the meantime," I demanded, turning back around before he could protest.

"That apple better be gone by the time I bring these burgers out."

After a minute and a half, I took out the naked patties and stacked them with slices of cheese in between. I couldn't find buns, so I just grabbed a fork and knife before hurrying back over to him. I was almost infuriated when I the apple sitting on the table, with a pitiful excuse for a bite taken out of it.

"What's your problem?" I spat, trying my best to not explode at him.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"The only thing that's hurting me right now is how unhealthy you look. And the fact you're doing it for my 'benefit' is making me sick to my stomach. You have to eat."

"I told you I'll be fine."

"Yeah? Well I'm not buying that. Eat the apple. Right now."

I watched his reluctant movement towards the previously rejected fruit, finally picking it up and taking another bite. He looked at me after he chewed and swallowed his second mouthful.

"The entire apple."

"Pip-"

"I'm not kidding."

He sighed aloud and ate the rest of it a deal quicker than I expected, probably to get it out of the way. No sooner had he thrown away the core than when I handed him the plate of cheeseburgers.

"I'm not eating this."

"Oh yes you are," I laughed, as if I actually had the power to tell him what to do. For whatever reason, he listened, and began to cut pieces for himself. I stood there and watched him until I remembered seeing milk in the fridge, and decided to pour him a tall glass.

"I'll be right back."

I did exactly what I planned, but almost dropped the glass when I came back. His plate was nearly empty, and he looked similar to his old self.

"Drink this whole thing. Right now. Or when you're done with that," I pushed, holding the glass out in his direction. And he did, a bit less hesitant with every movement.

And I swear, he was either a magician too, or this whole superhero thing was out of whack.

He was 100% recovered, as if nothing had happened at all. His face, though, sported quite the disappointed look. I sat down next to him, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," I sighed in relief, leaning against his shoulder. I found it odd that he wasn't responding, neither verbally nor physically.

"You see, hugs are usually reciprocated by the receiver," I smiled up at him.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'll hurt you."

"Will you quit saying that?" I whined, "You're driving me insane. The only reason you left a minor bruise was because you were angry. You weren't even trying."

"Exactly. I wasn't trying. But it happened. And minor? Does this look minor to you?" he asked, lifting my blouse in the area he knew it remained.

"I've had worse."

"Maybe from an actual forced punch."

"Niall, you don't get it. You hurt me once. When you were mad. At someone else. It was an accident. All we have to do is make sure you're not near me when you're angry. Problem solved."

"It's not that easy."

"Well, it is for now. We'll worry about anything else when that time comes," I decided, leaning back in to give him a hug. Except this time he jumped up.

"No! We'll worry about it now!" he said, the loudest he'd been all day.

"You're the one who doesn't get it. What if it's too late next time? What if I go to punch that rotten kid and he ducks and I hit you? What then? I break a major bone and we pass it off as another accident until we find a better excuse? And you think I'm ok with putting you in that position?" he seethed.

"Just learn to control your temper!"

"I was sent here to protect you! That generally means fighting for you, and keeping you safe, and being your shield. I'm gonna end up throwing a punch here and there!"

"Then why'd you bother starving yourself? What defense would you have been then?"

"I thought I might let myself touch you one more time before calling this quits."

"Calling... quits?"

"Yeah."

I didn't want to ask him to clarify, even though we both knew that I had a million ideas running through my mind.

"I'm here to watch out for you. I'm not even supposed to be with you. It was even a risk introducing myself. I didn't think I would actually run into these problems, though. I didn't think they would be right about all of this," he said in disbelief.

Whatever words I planned on saying next had completely vanished. We both stood in silence, emotions running everywhere. I wanted to scream and cry and pound my fists against his stupid selfless frame until the world ended.

But instead, I walked out, and drove home.
I locked myself in my room, and wept.

Notes