How can you love me?
Does That Make Me A Terrible Person?
Zayn’s POV
As soon as the boys leave for the police station, I stand up and nervously play with my hair. Watching Ana and Harry together showed that this is more than what Rebecca and Harry had. They’re in love, and Harry is my best mate. I don’t want to hurt him, but the more I get to know Ana, the more intense my feelings become. She makes my breath quicken when she’s near me and I don’t always have something smart to say back to her.
I watch as she stands up and her hair cascades on either side of her face. Her contacts aren’t in and her hazel eyes bore into mine. My palms start to sweat and I wipe them on my shorts and break eye contact with her. I feel like my tongue is ten sizes too big for my mouth. She walks up to me, but I won’t look her in the eye.
“Are you okay?” She asks while putting her hand to my forehead, checking for a fever. I laugh nervously and swat her hand away.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I answer her. I can tell she doesn’t believe me, but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t actually make a move on my best mate’s girl. Especially when he’s in love with her. I feel like two battles are waging a war in my mind. If I tell her how I feel, either she will feel the same way or she won’t. Either way, I still feel terrible. She cocks her head to the side and gets a quizzical look on her face. She looks so innocent and so perfect. I can’t help but walk up to her and grab her hands.
“I need to tell you something,” I start. She puts her hand up to quiet me.
“I’m in love with Harry. I’m sure you already know that, but what you don’t know is I have feelings for you. I’m not in love with you, but I’m not sure what I have with Harry is love. He saved me and that might be why I feel the way I do about him,” she rushes out in one breath. I can tell it was hard for her to admit that, and I pull her into a hug. I stand quietly stroking her hair and she keeps her face buried in my chest.
“It’s going to be okay,” I try and reassure her, but I don’t even know if it is or not. She laughs and steps back.
“Thanks for the lie, but I think I know what to do.”
“Sex tie-breaker?” I joke trying to lighten the mood. I have never done very well with confrontations that aren’t in bed, and I’m just not sure what to do. The only thing that comes to mind is to crack a joke and hop Ana understands where I’m coming from.
“Very funny, but no,” She says sarcastically.
“Then what?”
“I need to back to America once it’s safe and be without either of you for awhile. Then I can decide who I have real feelings for.” Her answer shocks me. I put my hand on the chair back to steady myself. She’s going to leave us?! A tear rolls down my cheek when I look up and see my expression mirrored on her gorgeous face. She doesn’t want to leave us, but it’s the only thing she thinks she can do. I walk up to her hastily, grab her face, and smash my lips to hers. Maybe this will help. She kisses back and my emotions tangle with each other like snakes in a shoe box. I’m devastated she wants to leave. I’m upset with myself for having real feeling for her, and I’m happy because she’s kissing me back. Does that make me a terrible person?
As soon as the boys leave for the police station, I stand up and nervously play with my hair. Watching Ana and Harry together showed that this is more than what Rebecca and Harry had. They’re in love, and Harry is my best mate. I don’t want to hurt him, but the more I get to know Ana, the more intense my feelings become. She makes my breath quicken when she’s near me and I don’t always have something smart to say back to her.
I watch as she stands up and her hair cascades on either side of her face. Her contacts aren’t in and her hazel eyes bore into mine. My palms start to sweat and I wipe them on my shorts and break eye contact with her. I feel like my tongue is ten sizes too big for my mouth. She walks up to me, but I won’t look her in the eye.
“Are you okay?” She asks while putting her hand to my forehead, checking for a fever. I laugh nervously and swat her hand away.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I answer her. I can tell she doesn’t believe me, but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t actually make a move on my best mate’s girl. Especially when he’s in love with her. I feel like two battles are waging a war in my mind. If I tell her how I feel, either she will feel the same way or she won’t. Either way, I still feel terrible. She cocks her head to the side and gets a quizzical look on her face. She looks so innocent and so perfect. I can’t help but walk up to her and grab her hands.
“I need to tell you something,” I start. She puts her hand up to quiet me.
“I’m in love with Harry. I’m sure you already know that, but what you don’t know is I have feelings for you. I’m not in love with you, but I’m not sure what I have with Harry is love. He saved me and that might be why I feel the way I do about him,” she rushes out in one breath. I can tell it was hard for her to admit that, and I pull her into a hug. I stand quietly stroking her hair and she keeps her face buried in my chest.
“It’s going to be okay,” I try and reassure her, but I don’t even know if it is or not. She laughs and steps back.
“Thanks for the lie, but I think I know what to do.”
“Sex tie-breaker?” I joke trying to lighten the mood. I have never done very well with confrontations that aren’t in bed, and I’m just not sure what to do. The only thing that comes to mind is to crack a joke and hop Ana understands where I’m coming from.
“Very funny, but no,” She says sarcastically.
“Then what?”
“I need to back to America once it’s safe and be without either of you for awhile. Then I can decide who I have real feelings for.” Her answer shocks me. I put my hand on the chair back to steady myself. She’s going to leave us?! A tear rolls down my cheek when I look up and see my expression mirrored on her gorgeous face. She doesn’t want to leave us, but it’s the only thing she thinks she can do. I walk up to her hastily, grab her face, and smash my lips to hers. Maybe this will help. She kisses back and my emotions tangle with each other like snakes in a shoe box. I’m devastated she wants to leave. I’m upset with myself for having real feeling for her, and I’m happy because she’s kissing me back. Does that make me a terrible person?
Notes
I'm sorry for the super short chapter but I just wanted to give you Zayn's POV before getting into the BIG drama with Ana, Harry and Kyle!Please please PLEASE comment and tell me what you think! It makes me so happy when you do and I also love to get suggestions.
Thank you so much for all the great reviews! I love you all
9/8/13