I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment at his words despite the fact that I’m the one who said that we couldn’t do this. I don’t know why, I just do. I guess a small part of me was hoping that Harry would fight for this. I cannot help but suppress my laughter at the fact that I actually hoped that Harry would do such a thing despite my crying fit. What is wrong with me? I think I’ve gone insane.

Harry stares at me in bewilderment with a hint of amusement as I try to stop my crying/laughing fit. I don’t really blame him because I know I probably look like an idiot right now. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down but the tears just keep pooling back up in my eyes. Why can’t I stop crying?! My laughter has gone completely now and I am only left crying so I do the only thing I can think of. I close my eyes tightly and hold my breath.

I feel Harry shuffle on the bed and after a few seconds I hear his voice.

“Amelia? What are you doing?” he ask almost in concern but I doubt it. I ignore him completely trying to focus on stopping these god awful tears.

“Breathe Amelia!” he demands a few seconds later but I keep hold of my breath. Just a little longer.

“DAMNIT AMELIA!” he shouts while shoving my arm hard causing me to let out a big breath of air. I wait a few more seconds before smiling to myself. It worked.

I slowly flutter my eyes open and I am met with Harry’s rather pissed off ones.

“That was scary.” I whisper breathlessly referring to my little crying fit. Harry only frowns at me in anger and confusion. Should I bother explaining myself to him?

“Why did you do that?” he asks coldly almost as if he were…..hurt? It takes me a moment to realise what he thought I was doing. He thought I was trying to kill myself. Now I guess I have to explain myself.



“I used to have crying fits like these all the time when I was a kid. After my dad died I was broken and I used to cry all of the time. But over time I found a way to stop them by simply closing my eyes and holding my breath for as long as I could until I felt the tears go away. It’s weird really.” I explain quietly. My dad has always been a touchy subject for me and I have no idea why I just told Harry all of this but for some reason it makes me feel a little better.

“Oh.” Is all he replies with as he looks into my eyes probably trying to figure out if I were lying or not. He stays like this for a while before sighing to himself and standing up off of my bed. I frown at him. Where is he going?

As he walks over to the door he pauses.

“Just don’t do that again. Please.” He says impassively before walking out. My frown grows at his choice of words. If I’m not mistaken, he sounded almost as if he were begging me. I really don’t understand him at all and that is why I’m literally going insane. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m still traumatised from all of the memories of being raped. All of this confusion is once again making my brain start to hurt and even though I had a nap like 2 hours ago, I feel not only physically but mentally exhausted.

I sigh and lay down on my back on the bed. I need some rest first and I can think about all of my confused feelings tomorrow.

-----------------------

I am rather unpleasantly woken up to a loud thumping sound followed by a string of profanities. I frown and slowly heave my eyes open. The first thing I notice is that it is still dark telling me it is still in the middle of the night. Who would come in here at this time?!

I roll my head to the side to where I heard the noise come from and I see the outline of one of the boys but I’m not sure who.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?” the voice asks gently. My eyes widen as I recognise the voice.

Zayn.

What the fuck did he want?! He knows I am still angry with him for what he did to me.

“What in god’s name are you doing here?!” I spit at him and I now I cannot really see him but I know he is shocked by my sudden outburst.

“I can come in here whenever I want.” He replies coldly and I glare at him even though he cannot properly see me.

“You didn’t answer my question.” I say bitterly. He sighs before walking over to the bed and crouching down so he is level with me.

“I don’t know. We haven’t spoken in a while.” Is he mocking me? Or is he just plain stupid?

“You can’t be serious can you?” I scoff.

“You’re still mad at me.” He says in sudden amusement. I suddenly have the urge to sit up and slap him in the face. Hard.

“What makes you think that?” I ask him sarcastically surprised at my sudden confidence.

“Watch your mouth or I may put it to good use.” He warns me instantly shutting me up. How did I think that he was the nicest out of all of them? He’s just as bad if not worse for betraying me like that.

“Good girl.” he praises me sinisterly. Ok seriously what does he want?! As if reading my mind, he begins to explain.

“You know. I am starting to worry about poor little Harry. I think all of us boys are really. I mean one minute he’s shouting at you the next he’s hot his tongue shoved down your throat. I just can’t keep up!” he says his voice laced in humour and perhaps anger. I narrow my eyes at him. Where is he going with this?

“You can’t seriously think that we didn’t see what happened in here between you and Harry can you? Have you forgotten about the camera?” he asks me and I take this moment to face palm myself. Of course! I forgot about that damn camera!

“That’s right. We know all about you and Harry. And we are going to end it right now.” He says suddenly changing his tone to threatening.

“But there was nothing even between Harry and I in the first place!” I argue back but he chuckles darkly.

“Without evidence of that, I won’t believe you and neither will the others. For all we know, you could have gone behind all of your backs and had this small fling for a while.” He growls and I think I start to hate him even more than I already do if that were even possible.

“So sweetheart. You have two options. Either you leave Harry alone or we won’t hesitate to kill you. We might even get Harry to come and watch.” He says this as if all of this were a game to him which makes me sick to the stomach.

But I know deep down that even though I would love to stay away from Harry,

I won’t be able to.

Notes

Marie xxx