Lana's POV

"Well, it's getting late. Lan, we should get going."

"Okay, Dad." He stands and says his goodbyes and thank-yous to Anne and Robin.

"Am I coming over now?" Harry whispers in my ear.

"It's not super late, so you can. You don't want to spend a little more time here, though?"

"They'll probably just go to bed anyway." He turns to his mother as my Dad walks to the front door. "I'm going to go over there for a bit, mum."

She smiles and nods. "That's fine. Are you sleeping there?"

My eyes go a little wide and I can feel my face go a deep shade of red. Harry laughs nervously beside me but doesn't respond.

"That's fine with me," my Dad says from the entrance. I turn and gawk at him. Did he just say that?

"This is so weird," Gemma says, walking to the stairs. I have to agree with her. Our parents are casually discussing letting Harry sleep over...this isn't normal. I hear Anne start chuckling, probably at mine and Harry's obvious discomfort.

"Why don't you just text me to let me know, Harry."

"Okay." He puts his hand on my back and pushes me towards the door. Anne follows.

"You two are so funny."

"Thanks for everything, Anne," I say, hugging her.

"Any time, love." She pulls back and squeezes my hand. The action is very comforting knowing what I'm about to do. Harry and I walk out and across the street. He takes my hand in his as we walk in silence.

"Are you nervous?" he asks me suddenly after my Dad has disappeared into the house. We walk onto the porch.

"What? No, why would I be nervous?"

"Well it's freezing outside but your hand is kind of sweaty," he says. There's a small smirk playing on his lips, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I'm not really sure what to say. He stares at me for a minute as the smile fades and pulls me into the house suddenly. He kicks off his shoes and leads me straight upstairs without another word. We go into my room and he closes and locks the door. I sit on the bed to take off my heels in silence. I can feel him staring at me, but I don't meet his eyes.

"Lana."

I don't look at him. I walk into the closet and put my shoes in their place, then undress and slide on Harry's track pants and a tank top. I turn to go back into the room, but I jump a little when I see Harry standing in the doorway of the closet.

"Shit, you scared me," I say nervously, tying my hair back.

"Are you trying to avoid me? Because this room isn't that big, it might be kind of difficult." I look at him. He's smirking at me again. He finds my discomfort amusing apparently. "I like those," he says, pointing to my pants. Well, his pants. "They look oddly familiar."

I smile as he walks over to me. He brushes the back of his fingers against my cheek, looking into my eyes. The look is so gentle, so loving. My eyes start to tear up. Why do I keep crying?

"Woah, what's wrong?" he brushes a tear away while I close my eyes and shake my head a little. "Babe, what's going on?" he whispers, pulling me against him. I hide in his chest for a minute, trying to come up with a way to tell him what's happening. I'm racking my brain for a way to make this better, but nothing comes. I can't avoid it I guess. I just have to tell him. I pull away from him silently and walk back into the bedroom, to the head of the bed where I stuffed something under the pillow earlier. I reach down to get it, but stop and turn to face Harry. He's standing about three feet away from me.

"Do you love me?" I ask quietly.

"What?" he asks, surprised. I stay silent, waiting for him to answer. He closes the distance between us and cups my face in his hands. "Do you really have to ask me that?" I look between his eyes for a minute. I really do believe him. That makes this harder.

"Okay," I whisper. He leans down to leave a soft kiss on my lips. I stand there for a few minutes without moving.

"Lana, I know you're upset, but I'm really starting to freak out here."

"I know," I sigh. I take a small step back and turn away from him. I'm about to reach under then pillow for the box I put there earlier, when I see the letter I received a few days ago. That could be a good way to get out of telling him the other thing...I don't know if I'm ready for that right now. I chicken out and pick it up instead. "I got this in the mail a few days ago," I say, handing it to him. He looks at me curiously, then opens the envelope. I feel guilty already.

"What is it?" he asks, taking the paper out.

"A letter from Stanford. I applied there for fun to see if I could get in. It was my dream school when I was a kid. I didn't think I would get in, but-"

"You did." he says simply, looking at the words on the paper in his hand. "That's great, congratulations." He smiles weakly at me. He looks sad.

"I'm not going, Harry," I say, laughing a little. His eyes light up when he hears me.

"Really?"

"Of course not, I don't want to move back there."

"That's a relief," he says, pulling me in for a hug. He rests his chin on the top of my head and I smile against his chest. He's so adorable. He suddenly puts his hands on the top of my arms and pushes me backso he can look at me. "Wait, it's not because of me, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"You not wanting to go to your dream school. That's not because of me right? Because I'm not going to be the reason yo don't go to your dream school or do what you want and then you'll end up hating me and then you and I won't-"

"Harry!" I cover his mouth with my hand. "Relax. I'm not going because it's not my dream school anymore." I lower my hand and he sighs.

"What changed?"

I shrug and sit on the edge of the bed. "I don't really know. I guess I just like living here better. I still planned on going back when I graduated from high school, but last year I started changing my mind. I love being here. I would love to go to school in London."

"Me too. I really like the idea of living in a big city," he says, sitting beside me and laying back on the bed. "What schools are you applying to?"

"I haven't really decided yet. I have some ideas."

"It's kind of scary, isn't it?"

"What?"

"That we'll be graduating and going off to university. It's so intimidating."

I sit more on the bed and face him, tucking my legs under me. "Aww, Harry, are you scared to grow up?"

"I'm not scared. I don't get scared."

"You just said 'it's kind of scary'."

"Meaning the idea is scary, not that I'm actually afraid."

"Mhmm, sure." He rolls his eyes. "So are you sleeping here?"

"Do you want me to sleep here?"

"Do you want to sleep here?"

"Do you want me to want to sleep here?"

"I never knew you could be so annoying," I say, poking his stomach. Which is rock hard, by the way.

"It's a talent," he says, revealing a dimple.

"So are you staying or not?"

"Alright, fine, I'll stay. You don't have to beg," he says, sounding exasperated. He gets up and walks into my closet.

"Who's begging? And what are you doing in there?"

"Looking for something to change into. There's probably more of my clothes in here somewhere since you keep stealing them."

"No, you keep leaving them here. Actually, I think I have some of your pyjamas here somewhere." I get up and go into the closet to see Harry holding up one of my thongs. "What are you doing!" I shout, snatching them out of his hands.

"I haven't seen those before. Are they new?" The smirk on his face is unmistakable.

"Who gave you permission to dig through my underwear drawer?"

"I wasn't digging. It was open and they were laying on top."

"So you thought you'd take a closer look? Pervert." I throw them back in the drawer and shut it. He chuckles.

"Which pyjamas? The blue ones? I've been looking everywhere for those for so long!"

"Quit yelling, weirdo. You left them here, as per usual." I finally find them and chuck them at his face.

"Well that was uncalled for." He puts them on the ground and removes his tshirt, then unbuttons his jeans. "Are you going to watch? I don't mind, but it might be hard for you." He winks and I start backing away.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth," I say slowly, walking backwards so I can stare at his chest a little longer, then turn to go to the bathroom. I can hear him laughing as I walk across the tiled floor to the sink. He enters while I'm brushing my teeth and picks up the toothbrush he keeps here. He stares at me while he brushes his teeth. I feel bad that I lied to him before. He thinks everything is fine. It definitely isn't. I look away nervously and rinse my mouth out, then dry it while he does the same. I go back to the vanity and take out a wipe to remove my makeup from my eyes. He kisses the back of my head and goes back to the bedroom. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I feel so...nervous. Why didn't I just tell him what's going on? I should be able to do that. Shouldn't I? Harry has been so good to me ever since we met each other, why would that change now? He's amazing. I know that. I should be able to talk to him about anything. I can talk to him about anything.

I finish my before bed routine and look at myself in the mirror. I can do this. Just tell him. He loves you . You love him. Everything will be fine.

"Harry, I need to tell you something," I call, giving myself a nod before walking back into the bedroom. "I wasn't exactly honest with-" I stop and my mouth drops open when I see him standing beside the bed, frozen. "Oh my gosh." I close my eyes and try to wish I could reverse time and to make sure he didn't see that.

"Harry, that's not-"

"What? What is it not, Lana? Because it's pretty obvious to me what this is," he says, raising his voice and holding the box up for me to see.

"Harry, don't yell. My dad will hear you," I say, walking closer to him. I don't know how I manage to walk because my legs feel like they're about to give out. I stop a few steps away from him. He looks back down at the box in his hands. He looks shocked. Rightfully so.

I have no idea what to say at this point. There's really no way to get out of this now. After what feels like hours he finally looks up at me.

"Why was there a pregnancy test under your pillow?" he asks quietly. I just stare at him. I bought it for fun? Why does he think there's a pregnancy test there!

"Lana, say something." He takes a few steps towards me, but he stops at an arm's length away. He looks down at the box still in his hands. "Are you..."

I shrug a little bit. I can't speak. He nods a little, not meeting my eyes.

"Stanford wasn't the thing you were hiding, was it. This is." It's not a question. I look at the ground so I don't have to look at his intense gaze. I hear him exhale in frustration. "Okay, Lan, now would be a good time to start speaking."

I wince a little as his harsh tone. I don't know what to say. The speech I had prepared for this moment was suddenly conveniently escaping my memory. What do I say?

"I...umm...it's not...I haven't..." Why can't I form a sentence?

He throws the box on the bed and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Are you okay? You look pale." He pushes me to sit on the edge of the bed and he leans down to look at my face. "Babe, you look like you're going to pass out. I'm going to get you some water, just stay here," he says, walking away. I pull his arm so he stops.

"No, it's fine. I'm feel fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Why would I be fine, Harry? You just found a pregnancy test under my pillow." I say, laying on my back and covering my face with my hands. I hear him sigh and feel his weight on the bed beside me. I remove my hands to see that he's laying next to me. We stay silent for a few minutes, then I feel his hand on mine. He laces our fingers together and I close my eyes. I thought he would run away for some reason. But he's still here.

I don't know how long we laid like that, but he's the first to speak.

"You haven't taken it yet?"

"No." He starts making small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. "I'm probably not."

"Why do you say that?" he asks, rolling onto his side to look down at me.

"I'm only like two or three days late."

"So why'd you buy the test then?"

"Because I'm never late," I whisper, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Oh." I can feel him looking at me, but he doesn't say anything else. He suddenly stands, pulling me into a sitting position with him. "Then let's take the test."

"What?" He pulls me to stand. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I can't be pregnant. Harry have barely been together two months. We cannot be having a baby.

"Get it over with. It's driving me crazy." He picks up the box and hands it to me. I stare at it for a minute, trying to absorb the enormity of this situation. How did I get here? He touches my face softly, then puts his finger under my chin to tilt my face up to his. "I know you're scared. I am too. But we have to know."

I nod and he takes my hand, leading me to the bathroom. I freeze when we get there and eh waits for a minute, then takes the box out of my hand and opens it up for me. He stares at the stick for a minute, then hands it to me. I take it without looking at him. I don't move.

"Lana?" I look at his chest and he lifts my head again, making me look at him. He looks just as scared as I feel. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

"How do you know that?" I whisper, a lump growing in my throat.

"I don't, but I love you." I close my eyes and he plants a light kiss on my forehead. "I love you," he repeats.

"I love you too," I say against his chest.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, you can stay here. Just don't watch."

He smiles and nods his head. He takes the paper out of the package and starts reading it, leaning against the vanity while I pull down my pants. This is a weird situation, to say the least.

When I'm done I set it on the counter and wash my hands, then wrap my arms around Harry.

"What are we going to do?"

"We are going to wait to see if you're pregnant. Then we'll figure it out."

"How are you so calm right now?"

"Trust me, I'm not."

I laugh weakly and just hold him. I don't know what I'm going to do if that test is positive. I can't imagine having a baby at my age. What do I do? I can't have an abortion. I don't think that's okay. But can I really have a baby?

"Time's up," Harry says suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts. I pull back a little and look over at the stick.

"I don't think I can.."

"I'll do it," he says, kissing my forehead and reaching for the stick. It's upside down. Neither of us can see the result. "Ready?"

"No."

"Me neither." He sighs and looks at me for a minute. "Here we go."

Notes

muah ha ha.



comments :)