Riley's POV:

I open my eyes and immediately recognize that I'm in Harry's bedroom, and not just from it's appearance alone. There are books and furniture all disheveled and tossed around and his distinctive scent alone speaks volumes. What the hell happened last night and how did I end up here?

I slowly slither out of his empty bed and stand up... holy hangover. My head feels like it weighs one thousand pounds and I quickly lean against the wall to steady myself. Thankfully I'm still in my outfit from last night minus the shoes and jacket which are the only neatly folded thing in this entire room.

What happened last night? I take a minute to gather my thoughts; Dancing with Danny, Seth offered me a drink, dancing with Seth, Seth and I in the bathroom, the hair dryer, dragged into the street... Harry. Harry saved me from Seth again? Why do I feel not surprised and frustrated all at once?

I slide on my heels and jacket and stride across the room to leave before Harry gets back in here, but as I wiggle the doorknob someone pushes it open.

"Good morning, love." Harry gives me a cheeky grin and hands me 2 capsules of Advil and a glass of water.

"Thanks." I murmur as he slides past me and shuts the door. So much for getting out of here without another word.

"DId you sleep well?" He asks, and I shrug my shoulders in response. How the hell am I supposed to behave right now, grateful? Pissed off?

"I slept ok I guess." I sigh, sitting on the bed next to him. This.is.so.awkward. "I should really get going--"

"You know I love you, right?" He interrupts me and I nearly choke on my water. What the hell does he think he's doing? Why do I keep asking myself pointless questions?

"Harry, look I don't want any--"

"You know it though, don't you?" He asks again, and I nod slowly. "And do you love me back?" He asks, and I shudder at his words.

"If I do or I don't, it doesn't matter. We're not together anymore and--"

"Just tell me if you still love me." He states, ignoring everything I've been saying. My heart beats faster and faster and I shake my head holding back tears.

"I do." I croak out so lowly I wasn't sure if he heard. I finally look up at him as he wasn't answering and the smile on his face is contagious. I feel a grin curl at the corner of my lips but my happiness is damaged by a vision of Eric, a crying sister of Seth and a broken me.

"But that doesn't mean anything Harry. I can't be with you anymore, I can't and I won't." I sniffle, trying to hold back the stupid, stupid tears sliding down my face.

"Please Riley... I have changed. I want to be a better man and you make me better. I'm not the same person I was back then and you did that for me." He lets out a large shaky breath which shows me that he might cry soon too.

"You changed me also Harry, but not like I changed you. Everything you brought to my life was sad and brought me down... I can't do it anymore." I cry softly, grabbing one of his pillows and squeezing it to my chest.

"Please don't give up on me." He sighs tilting my chin towards him. The look he is giving me is so yearning, so needy... I just feel guilty. I know how bad he is for me, but I can tell how good I am for him. Would not being with Harry be selfish of me?

"I don't know what to do." I sob, shaking my head. His arms find their way around my shoulders and I just let all my emotions out on him. I'm scared of him, I'm scared of everyone around me... My entire world was been corrupted within the span of four months and I can hardly stand it anymore.

"Pick me, be with me, and I'll take care of you." He whispers above my ear. I cry harder and harder into his arms, my mind reeling to try and find a solution for this madness. "I can't live without you." He adds, making this so much harder.

"You don't have to." I sniffle, cupping his face with my shaking hands. He puts and hand over mine and brings it to his lips. He's silently crying and he still looks more beautiful than ever.

"Does that mean... you and I..." His voice grows giddy.

"I don't want to just get back together Harry." I state, and he cringes at my words. His silent cries turn into sobs and I quickly place my hands on his shoulders to calm him down.

"But please Riley! I love you so much and you can't give up on us, I won't let you!" He cries harder, making me mentally sigh.

"Harry, we're taking a break, ok? I'm not giving up on you." I suggest, but his sobs continue to grow harder and deeper.

"Please Riley..." He stammers, and I rock him in my arms. "How long?" he asks, and I knit my eyebrows together in confusion.

"How long what?" I retort his question.

"How long is this break?" He asks, and I think really hard for a moment. How long can he take without me, and how long will it take me to be ok with him... with all of this?

"I don't know Harry, I really don't. I need something to happen in my life that makes me feel safe around you again, I need to see that you've changed... I'll know when I'm ready." I sigh, and he nods in my arms.

"I'm ready right now." He chuckles, and I can't help but smile now that he's making even the smallest joke.

"I do love you Harry... just know that, ok?" I whisper, pulling away from our cozy embrace. Both of us are crying, and he uses the pad of his thumb to wipe underneath my eyes.

"I love you more." He states, and I don't argue with it. Instead, I grab my bag and head down the steps of his house. Thankfully his parents are still asleep and I make my way home in less than a minute.

My parents don't ask questions about my night, Joni is still sleeping and I decide to take the longest shower of my life. I sit down on the floor of the bath and cry... not sad tears, not happy tears, just tears.

There is so much I wish I could change, so much I wish didn't happen... just too much has happened in these last few months that I could seriously do without--but if I'm being completely honest, loving Harry isn't one of them. I need his love almost as much as he needs mine.

Notes

tomorrow is my 17th birthday... most likely going to fail my drivers test hahaha fml.

please comment & vote !!! xxx

how are we feeling about their 'break' ?