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It Takes Patience II: Guarded

Chapter 47: Rage

*Reagan’s POV*
Rage is a funny feeling to have. It seems to sneak up on you when you least expect it and when you feel it, you know that it’s not just one emotion. When it’s defined in the dictionary, it’s said to be a violent or uncontrollable anger, but to me that definition seems to sell itself short. The rage that I felt came from a mixture of emotions that has been building up and it’s not from just over the month and a half that I’ve been here recently, no. It was the proper emotional build up that I’ve had since the day that I slept with Peyton. There was self-loathing, hurt, anxiety, and loneliness, and betrayal, absolute and utter anguish, and then anger.

No emotion stands alone. Usually when you feel one, another builds right behind it, but the only way that they can begin to build is from a trigger, something that sets off the initial feeling and has the others fall in line behind it like a domino effect. When Peyton touched my arm, he became that trigger and every negative emotion that I’ve been feeling overtime towards myself, him, and his effect on mine and Harry’s relationship built one behind the other pushing me until my palm made contact with his face.

The noise from the slap was so loud that it echoed in the hallway and I’m sure that my wrist snapped after I hit him, but once I started I couldn’t stop. Rage had ensued and fighting Peyton off releasing everything that I’ve held pent up inside felt great. Even though it only lasted a few seconds, it felt like I had been hitting him for more than five minutes. Peyton’s initial shock after the first slap seemed to have left him in a daze, but after I had hit him a second time, he had me pinned against the wall of the empty hallway much like how Harry had pinned me against the wall of my hotel suite when we had sex the first time after I returned.

Tears began to stream down my face not because I was scared or upset, but because I was so angry with him. I’ve never hated anyone before, but Peyton might be the first. My breathing was rugged and though he held me to the wall by my arm, I still strained against him to get away from his grasp. His face flashed with anger at first, but quickly turned into something else making me feel sick to my stomach.

“Peyton let me go! Get off of me!” I wanted to shout so that someone could see what he was doing to me, but my voice only went an octave or two above a whisper.

“Where the fuck do you get off?! Hmm? After everything that I did for you, this is how you treat me? You’re ungrateful and you deserved it! I was-” Peyton cut off his own sentence and kept the hushed tone going as he looked up and down the hallways to be sure that no one else was coming. My handprint was a clear welt on his left cheek and I wanted badly to give him a matching one on his left.

“Peyton let go!” My voice finally raised and he released my wrist but still stayed close, leaning his arm on the wall to have the illusion that I was pinned. He opened his mouth to speak again, but when we heard students coming out of their classes, I took the opportunity to push past him and make my way to the bathrooms to compose myself.

I know I have to tell Dr. Koch, things have gone too far now, the only thing that worries me is what Harry’s reaction will be. He’s too temperamental and I don’t want to make things worse for him than they already are. He has enough pressure on him, but it feels like they’re there mostly because of me. I wiped my eyes and fixed my eyeliner as much as I could before I pressed on to the cafeteria to get Dr. Koch his tea.

Peyton didn’t come back into the office until the welt on his face was down to a less noticeable mark but for the remainder of the day, I could feel his eyes on me. I told myself as soon as I could get the chance to, I would bring our altercation to Dr. Koch’s attention.

As the day came to a close, Peyton walked out of the office past me quickly and I lingered behind while Dr. Koch gathered his things. For once he’s leaving the office with everyone else and not staying behind alone. I’m straightened up my desk for tomorrow and cleaned it out, waiting until the last possible minute to try and figure out how to bring this to his attention, without saying too much that he doesn’t need to know.

I stood from behind my desk twisting the strap of my messenger bag in my hand nervously. I’ve never had to do anything like this before. Any problem that I’ve had usually I would handle it alone. It’s never been anything this serious though.

“Do you have something to say to me Miss Stoger or is this just part of your regular awkward demeanor?”

Dr. Koch distracted me from my thoughts as he packed a briefcase with files to take back to the hotel and study. He never stops working. I wonder if he sleeps well at night, or if he sleeps at all for that matter.

“I, um I need to talk to you.”

“I figured as much seeing as I said that you could go home almost twenty minutes ago and you stayed behind to put pencils in a straight line on your desk. Unless you’re anxiety attacks are brought on because of your obsessive compulsive disorder that is.”

I rolled my eyes, but I could have sworn I saw Dr. Koch smile at his own jibe.

As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, my phone vibrated against my hip. I ignored it and took a step closer towards Dr. Koch’s desk.

“Do you remember when you asked me when we were on the plane to come here if there was any animosity between Peyton and I.” His eyebrows furrowed and then raised as he put on his coat.

“Yes and I was right about it. Body language says all when you say nothing. I pay attention to everything around me. That’s why I’m great at what I do.” Pompous, arrogant, son of a bi-

“What is the issue you have with him Miss Stoger? I was planning on actually getting back to the hotel within a good hour.” Dr. Koch cut off my thoughts and brought me back to the issue at hand.

“Peyton and I don’t work well together and now the problem is escalating outside of the office.”

“And you want me to do what? I won’t fire him off of my research team because of a lovers spat between the two of you.”

The words made bile rise in my throat and for a moment, I thought I would vomit on Dr. Koch’s leather cognac colored oxfords. I could never be Peyton’s lover and the fact that at one point in time I actually had any type of romantic feelings towards him makes me have to swallow to keep from throwing up.

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it? Out with it Reagan we don’t have all night and you’re wasting time.”

“We recently got into an argument and today it turned physical.” Dr. Koch shocked me when he showed more than his usual uncompromising facial expression and one of concern took its place. He placed the brief case that he had in his hand back on his desk.

“Physical in what way?”

I went into the details of what happened between us in the hallway hoping to leave out anything that would ask for more details than I wish to share with him. Dr. Koch sat back down in his chair and ran a hand over his eyes before moving it to his chin and rubbing it over the stubble there that is starting to be the making of a beard.

“That is completely unacceptable.” I heard him breathe under his breath when my phone vibrated again.

Dr. Koch looked back up at me and began to nod his head slowly making my anxieties rise. I need to know what’s going to be done.

“I’ll bring it to the attention of Dr. Adams tomorrow morning and we’ll handle it from there. I won’t allow him to work in my department causing unnecessary problems. Come in at noon tomorrow to avoid any further irritation to the problem. Will that be all for now?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then. Noon Miss. Stoger, no later than that. One minute later and you can clean out your desk right along with him.”

I nodded my head and then turned to leave out of the office and open my texts. Four of them were from an overly annoyed Harry. The other was from Peyton.

From: Harry Pleassssse?!

Why aren’t you answering me? Is he there or not?

From: Harry Pleassssse?!

Reagan What the fuck?!

From: Harry Pleassssse?!

If you don’t answer me I’ll spank you for real! ;) I might spank you regardless to if you answer or not actually... God I’m hard thinking about it. You were so wet. You're such the little freak...fuck. But don’t think I’m not pissed about your taking advantage of me this morning! Answer!! ..Love you.

From: Harry Pleassssse?!

What time do you get off work? You’ve never gotten off this late before. Fuck I feel like I’ve been sitting out here for hours! I’m hungry and I kind of wanted to take you out to eat with the lads. The girls will be there too I think... Tell your dickhead of a boss to let you leave. We’ve got shit to do!

I laughed to myself noticing that even his text messages have mood swings and then checked the time. The last text was only sent five minutes ago. As I made my way towards the exit I could see him sitting in the car with the lights on. A song must have been playing that he liked because he was acting like a complete fool, thinking that no one was watching. His hair was flying back and forth as he bopped his head along to the beat of the song and drummed on the steering wheel. H. is many things but boring is not one of them. I know he can be silly, but I’ve never seen this side before, he looks so care free. I love that I’m still learning his ins and outs even though I feel like I know so much about him already.

When I get to the passenger side and pull on the latch to open the door, he jumps clasping a hand to his chest and his cheeks flush a slight shade of pink. I hear the lock click and the music is turned down. As I open the door I can’t stop the laughter that comes out of my mouth, his antics definitely distracted me from the day that I was having.

“Jesus glasses you can’t just walk up on me like that! Me heart is racing in me fucking chest.” He tries to look serious, but when he glances over at me and sees that I’m still laughing he laughs himself making his dimples show before he pulls off.

“What were you listening to?” Harry’s eyes widen and a grin covers his face before he shakes his head ‘no’ telling me that it’s too embarrassing to say. He’s in a fantastic mood.

"What do you mean I took advantage of you this morning? It was you who started everything." Harry grinned and then put his hand on top of mine as I rested it on top of his thigh.

"Condoms Reagan. They were right there we had no excuse. That was too close, but you feel so amazing. I can't explain it. Please go to the damn doctors? If it happens again I don't think I'll be able to pull out." I bit my bottom lip and nodded my head in agreement. Maybe if I set an alarm on my phone I could remember to take birth control... or maybe get that patch thing? Either way, I think condoms are a thing of the past for us. He feels too good with out it.

“Why weren’t you answering me? I sent you a bunch of texts.” He’s still grinning as he turns the car down a road in the opposite direction of his house.

If I tell him what happens I’ll ruin his mood and the whole night will be different. Maybe I can get around it this time.

“We were really busy today and I wasn’t really able to use my phone because Dr. Koch has eyes in the back of his head...Peyton may be getting fired. Where are we going?” Harry’s grin turned into a full on smile and he reminded me of a child at Christmas.

“Repeat that last bit.”

“Where are we goi-”

“No, no not that, the bit before that.”

“Peyton might be getting fired.”

“Ha ha! Fucking wanker serves him right! Good for nothing son of a bitch! You’ve just made my night love, but part of me still wants to wring his ne-" Harry stopped himself and his face turned pale momentarily before he continued, "Do you know why?”

“No.” It’s only a white lie. I’ll tell him eventually. I just want Peyton fully out of the picture before I do. My mind goes back to that night at the Baltic and if Niall wasn’t there I’m sure Harry would have done much more damage.

“Harry, where are we going? I don’t want to be in my work clothes all night.” H. glanced at me and then nodded his head towards the back seat where a pair of my jeans sat and a shirt.

“You can change when we get there.”

Or I could do it now so that I don’t have to be bothered with being partially naked in an unsanitary restroom in a restaurant. When I was at home with Channel, sometimes when we would get off of work and head to a party, we would change our clothes in the car. I need to call her and catch up, especially with the news that I’ve uncovered about Peyton with Laurie’s help. Hopefully her outlook on him will change and she can recognize him for the asshole that he really is instead of acting like Harry is the problem. I took off my jacket and grabbed the clothes in my hand before I started to unbutton my stiff work shirt.

“What are you doing?... Are you changing your clothes right now? Reagan don’t you dare it’s too distracting!...You’re gonna make me pull over.” Harry warned all the while peeking at me and then quickly back to the road several times. I saw that his eyes twinkled and if I’m not mistaken they’re a hint of a shade darker. I'm the only one who gets him hot and bothered like this and I love how sexy he makes me feel when he can barely stop looking at me, but he's driving.

“Keep your eyes on the road Harry.”

I unzipped my work skirt and then quickly slid on the jeans he brought for me before I allowed my shirt to slide off of my shoulders. Harry turned his head to look at me again causing the car to moderately swerve but the expression on his face quickly changed from turned on to concerned.

“What’s that Reagan, what happened?”

“What?”

We pull up to a restaurant and Harry finds Louis’ car in the parking lot as he pulls in next to it. He puts the car in park and turns off the engine, but turns on the overhead light. His fingers trace against my bicep, but it’s sore when he presses it in a certain spot.

“That’s a nasty bruise love, how did you get that? I know it wasn’t me this time.”

I look down at my arm and touch over the purpled skin then look back at Harry. He runs his index finger and his thumb over the area softly tracing it before his eyes meet mine again with a questioning glance. I know Peyton was holding me tight, but I didn’t know it would leave a mark. I pulled my shirt over my head and quickly put my arms through then grabbed my jacket.

“I must have done it at work. I didn’t even realize that it happened.” Harry screwed his face up and cocked his head to the side clearly not believing me, but I quickly changed the subject and grabbed his hand as we walked in to greet his friends.

If Harry finds out how the bruise really got there, I know his rage would be worse than what I experienced this morning.



Notes

UPDATTTE!! :D HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL NEW AND FAITHFUL READERS! What did you guys think of this chapter? Ugh we are getting so close to secrets being revealed this is part one and there can either be two more parts OR it can be let loose in the next chapter ( I don't think I can hold out to chapter 50 haha!) Be sure to load me up with comments (So excited for the comments!!) and feed back on what you thought and what you think is going to happen. Also please show me some love by voting (can we get this one to 65 and the firtst ITP to 70?) and keep those beautiful subscriptions coming! They are so inspirational!! I LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK FOR READING ~Xx

 photo FotoFlexer_Photo-1.jpg(Reagan Likes to sneak pictures of Harry when he sleeps because its so rare.) (my shitty edit haha.)


Comments

haha mine too they always try to put an extra "a" in it

XOXOH XOXOH
4/1/14

@XOXOH
Thank you, everybody is confused when I spell my name and try to correct me. Lol

@mrsdirectioner
Aww thank you :) I like your name too it's spelled different than it usually is

XOXOH XOXOH
4/1/14

@XOXOH
You have a unique name. My name is Katelynn.

@mrsdirectioner
Haha yes I'm able to drink. My name is Mya what's yours?

XOXOH XOXOH
4/1/14