It Takes Patience II: Guarded
Chapter 28: Testing Insinuations
*Reagan’s POV*
From: Harry Pleassssse?!
I’m okay. We’re not, but we will be... I love you.
The text from Harry confused me. I wanted so badly to call him so that we could talk, but Dr. Koch was running me ragged. I tried to stay focused on the task at hand, but my mind kept going to that message. What did he mean we weren’t okay?
I kept making mistakes after I got the message and Dr. Koch grew more and more aggravated with me but he wouldn’t let me leave. He even made it a point to let Dr. Adams and Peyton leave early but he kept me here with him. It didn’t bother me when Peyton left, if anything it made me feel less flustered. He didn’t say much to me, but he didn’t have to. I don’t hate Peyton, I don’t have enough energy to, but I just want to be around him, especially if it’s going to put my already fragile relationship in more jeopardy. He looked at me today as if he were waiting for a thank you for his efforts to keep me out of trouble. I could have said it, but it would change nothing between us.
By the end of the eighteen hour day I was dead on my feet, which hurt more than my cramps, and the headache that I had gave both of them a run for their money. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Harry’s house and lay on his chest to allow his heartbeat and his breathing to put me into a dream state, but I’m so unsure of the air between us. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard if you would stop keeping things from him? Once again it’s your fault. My subconscious was doing everything in her power to set me off today. I put us in jeopardy and I keep doing it, but I don’t mean to. As soon as I got back to the hotel, I sunk into the bed and fell asleep, drained physically and emotionally.
*Harry’s POV*
I stayed sat against the headstone of my dad for hours cleaning the leaves from around his grave, even as the day became a bit chillier. I wonder if either Gemma or my mum has been here recently. Gemma probably has. She doesn’t talk about dad much, neither of us do, but I know she misses him. I reckon my mum has forgotten. She’s been too wrapped up in Robin to even come pay a visit to my dad. It seems now day’s she forgets everything important or she overlooks it so she’s not reminded about the unpleasantries of the past. I feel myself becoming angered by my own thoughts, but before my mood takes over me my phone buzzes in my back pocket putting the feeling at bay.
From: Louis
Its half four and Fucked up Friday mate! I know you came in earlier but seeing as how that was a surprise shift, you’ll still be in at five...right? You will. I don’t know why I’m asking, just a reminder to be here at five...wanker!
I ran my fingers across my fathers name in the name in the head stone before I stood up to leave. I didn’t realize that I had been here that long. As I made my way back to the pub I was in a lighter mood. My skepticism about Reagan is still very much here, but I am willing to talk to her and actually listen. All I know is that this time she had better listen to me.
When I got to the pub it was crowded and it wasn’t even dark out yet. I went behind the bar and I barely got my jacket off before I was bombarded with drink orders. The night kept up its busy pace for hours and I made a nice shit ton in tips from blokes who were too drunk to count correctly and birds who flirted. I turned around behind the bar to try and quickly count it all before I was interrupted.
“Oi!” Someone yelled out to get my attention.
“One second.” People can be so fucking rude, but from working at a bar I’ve learned how to deal with them without letting my disorder take control of my mouth. It’s one of the hardest things to do but when I manage it, I pat myself on the back....then take a few aripiprazole just to be on the safe side.
“Oi!”
"Alright! Alright sorry what can I get-” When I turned around my blood began to boil and I had to grab onto the bar to keep from jumping over it. Peyton sat in front of me with a smug look on his face and my fingertips began to ache from the death grip I had on the counter top.
“Oh your name’s Harry innit? I’m Peyton. I work with a friend of yours I believe.” Zayn walked passed us but came back when he noticed the strain in my jaw.
“What can I get you?” I spoke harshly and Zayn watched from behind me as he began to make a drink. I won’t let this asshole get to me. It’s a mantra that I’ve set in my head, but I’m slowly but surely losing in this battle against myself.
“A whisky on the rocks should do it. Have one yourself. You look like you could use it.” His grin grew wider and I would be doing myself a great service if I could punch it off of his face. He tossed the money on the bar and I poured his drink without pouring one for myself. The last thing I need is alcohol at this moment. Liquid courage along with what I already have would be a mixture made for the destruction of this fuckers face! I took the cash off the bar top and got his change before I threw it back at him the same way he did at me. I forced myself to walk away, or at least I tried to until he opened his mouth again.
“Your Reagan, she’s so good at what she does. She’s very talented in more ways than one and she’s been studying from what I gather. She’s definitely gotten better since the last time I was with her.” There was a sick suggestive undertone in his voice as he began to send a text in his phone and that’s all that it took for me to turn back on my heel and lunge toward him.
“Whoa mate!” Zayn grabbed me off of the bar before I could get to the fucker. He started to chuckle and then stood from the stool and left, leaving his untouched drink and his change on the bar top.
“GET OFF!”
“Harry calm down!”
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
Zayn let me go when Peyton was out of the pub and by then I had gained a crowd of onlookers. All I could see was red. I picked up his drink and threw it against the wall causing the brown liquid to fly out and trickle down the bricks to meet with the broken glass shards on the ground that had scattered to various places.
“Go home Harry!” Louis spoke sternly and I could tell that he was aggravated by my outburst but honestly right now I could give less of a fuck. His aggravation has absolutely shit on mine.
“Not a good idea Louis he needs to chill out first.” Louis nodded his head after he looked at me and Zayn ushered me to the kitchen to calm down. I paced back and forth and Zayn handed me two of my aripiprazole out of the bottle in my jacket pocket. I took them but the longer I stayed here the angrier I got. Everything came rushing back. She fucked him. She cheated with him. Who’s to say she isn’t still doing it?
I ran my hands through my hair trying to slow my thoughts that were coming a mile a minute, but I couldn’t and I felt like I would be sick.
“She loves me Zayn. She does doesn’t she?”
“Harry what are you talking about?”
“That was Peyton! She fucked him, but she loves me right?” I stopped in my tracks and tried to look at Zayn for reassurance but got a hesitant nod in return.
“They work together now and she didn’t tell me. She wouldn’t fuck him again though right?”
“Sit down and try to calm yourself bro.”
“No Zayn! An answer I need an answer and don’t try to spare my feelings, I need honesty. Do you think that she would do that to me again?”
A pause.
“No.”
“Why did you take so long to answer?”
“Because you’re getting too worked up and I was thinking to give you an honest answer, what did he say to you?”
“It doesn’t fucking matter what he said Zayn! You paused and you’re lying. You think she would.”
I could feel the twinge of pain again in the pit of my stomach like I did earlier and I clutch at it trying to rub it away.
“Harry I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not an idiot your actions spoke for you.” I sat down on a stool and took out my phone to call her. I need to hear her voice. I need to hear her tell me herself that I’m over thinking everything.
Her phone went straight to voicemail and I found myself hanging up and redialing trying to get a response but there was nothing. No answer. I decided to try to send her a text instead.
To: Glasses
Reagan call me back!
To: Glasses
Please Reagan, love answer me!
I sat on the stool and waited as a false sense of calm washed over me, but the pain in my stomach grew. Louis stuck his head through the doors of the kitchen catching mine and Zayn’s attention.
“Are you fit to work now or are you going to throw more fucking glasses and scare away customers? I need both of you out here I’m getting mobbed by me self.”
I stood from the stool to follow Zayn out into the pub and ran my hand through my hair roughly sending one last text before I went back out.
To: Tamsin
I need you.
From: Harry Pleassssse?!
I’m okay. We’re not, but we will be... I love you.
The text from Harry confused me. I wanted so badly to call him so that we could talk, but Dr. Koch was running me ragged. I tried to stay focused on the task at hand, but my mind kept going to that message. What did he mean we weren’t okay?
I kept making mistakes after I got the message and Dr. Koch grew more and more aggravated with me but he wouldn’t let me leave. He even made it a point to let Dr. Adams and Peyton leave early but he kept me here with him. It didn’t bother me when Peyton left, if anything it made me feel less flustered. He didn’t say much to me, but he didn’t have to. I don’t hate Peyton, I don’t have enough energy to, but I just want to be around him, especially if it’s going to put my already fragile relationship in more jeopardy. He looked at me today as if he were waiting for a thank you for his efforts to keep me out of trouble. I could have said it, but it would change nothing between us.
By the end of the eighteen hour day I was dead on my feet, which hurt more than my cramps, and the headache that I had gave both of them a run for their money. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Harry’s house and lay on his chest to allow his heartbeat and his breathing to put me into a dream state, but I’m so unsure of the air between us. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard if you would stop keeping things from him? Once again it’s your fault. My subconscious was doing everything in her power to set me off today. I put us in jeopardy and I keep doing it, but I don’t mean to. As soon as I got back to the hotel, I sunk into the bed and fell asleep, drained physically and emotionally.
*Harry’s POV*
I stayed sat against the headstone of my dad for hours cleaning the leaves from around his grave, even as the day became a bit chillier. I wonder if either Gemma or my mum has been here recently. Gemma probably has. She doesn’t talk about dad much, neither of us do, but I know she misses him. I reckon my mum has forgotten. She’s been too wrapped up in Robin to even come pay a visit to my dad. It seems now day’s she forgets everything important or she overlooks it so she’s not reminded about the unpleasantries of the past. I feel myself becoming angered by my own thoughts, but before my mood takes over me my phone buzzes in my back pocket putting the feeling at bay.
From: Louis
Its half four and Fucked up Friday mate! I know you came in earlier but seeing as how that was a surprise shift, you’ll still be in at five...right? You will. I don’t know why I’m asking, just a reminder to be here at five...wanker!
I ran my fingers across my fathers name in the name in the head stone before I stood up to leave. I didn’t realize that I had been here that long. As I made my way back to the pub I was in a lighter mood. My skepticism about Reagan is still very much here, but I am willing to talk to her and actually listen. All I know is that this time she had better listen to me.
When I got to the pub it was crowded and it wasn’t even dark out yet. I went behind the bar and I barely got my jacket off before I was bombarded with drink orders. The night kept up its busy pace for hours and I made a nice shit ton in tips from blokes who were too drunk to count correctly and birds who flirted. I turned around behind the bar to try and quickly count it all before I was interrupted.
“Oi!” Someone yelled out to get my attention.
“One second.” People can be so fucking rude, but from working at a bar I’ve learned how to deal with them without letting my disorder take control of my mouth. It’s one of the hardest things to do but when I manage it, I pat myself on the back....then take a few aripiprazole just to be on the safe side.
“Oi!”
"Alright! Alright sorry what can I get-” When I turned around my blood began to boil and I had to grab onto the bar to keep from jumping over it. Peyton sat in front of me with a smug look on his face and my fingertips began to ache from the death grip I had on the counter top.
“Oh your name’s Harry innit? I’m Peyton. I work with a friend of yours I believe.” Zayn walked passed us but came back when he noticed the strain in my jaw.
“What can I get you?” I spoke harshly and Zayn watched from behind me as he began to make a drink. I won’t let this asshole get to me. It’s a mantra that I’ve set in my head, but I’m slowly but surely losing in this battle against myself.
“A whisky on the rocks should do it. Have one yourself. You look like you could use it.” His grin grew wider and I would be doing myself a great service if I could punch it off of his face. He tossed the money on the bar and I poured his drink without pouring one for myself. The last thing I need is alcohol at this moment. Liquid courage along with what I already have would be a mixture made for the destruction of this fuckers face! I took the cash off the bar top and got his change before I threw it back at him the same way he did at me. I forced myself to walk away, or at least I tried to until he opened his mouth again.
“Your Reagan, she’s so good at what she does. She’s very talented in more ways than one and she’s been studying from what I gather. She’s definitely gotten better since the last time I was with her.” There was a sick suggestive undertone in his voice as he began to send a text in his phone and that’s all that it took for me to turn back on my heel and lunge toward him.
“Whoa mate!” Zayn grabbed me off of the bar before I could get to the fucker. He started to chuckle and then stood from the stool and left, leaving his untouched drink and his change on the bar top.
“GET OFF!”
“Harry calm down!”
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
Zayn let me go when Peyton was out of the pub and by then I had gained a crowd of onlookers. All I could see was red. I picked up his drink and threw it against the wall causing the brown liquid to fly out and trickle down the bricks to meet with the broken glass shards on the ground that had scattered to various places.
“Go home Harry!” Louis spoke sternly and I could tell that he was aggravated by my outburst but honestly right now I could give less of a fuck. His aggravation has absolutely shit on mine.
“Not a good idea Louis he needs to chill out first.” Louis nodded his head after he looked at me and Zayn ushered me to the kitchen to calm down. I paced back and forth and Zayn handed me two of my aripiprazole out of the bottle in my jacket pocket. I took them but the longer I stayed here the angrier I got. Everything came rushing back. She fucked him. She cheated with him. Who’s to say she isn’t still doing it?
I ran my hands through my hair trying to slow my thoughts that were coming a mile a minute, but I couldn’t and I felt like I would be sick.
“She loves me Zayn. She does doesn’t she?”
“Harry what are you talking about?”
“That was Peyton! She fucked him, but she loves me right?” I stopped in my tracks and tried to look at Zayn for reassurance but got a hesitant nod in return.
“They work together now and she didn’t tell me. She wouldn’t fuck him again though right?”
“Sit down and try to calm yourself bro.”
“No Zayn! An answer I need an answer and don’t try to spare my feelings, I need honesty. Do you think that she would do that to me again?”
A pause.
“No.”
“Why did you take so long to answer?”
“Because you’re getting too worked up and I was thinking to give you an honest answer, what did he say to you?”
“It doesn’t fucking matter what he said Zayn! You paused and you’re lying. You think she would.”
I could feel the twinge of pain again in the pit of my stomach like I did earlier and I clutch at it trying to rub it away.
“Harry I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not an idiot your actions spoke for you.” I sat down on a stool and took out my phone to call her. I need to hear her voice. I need to hear her tell me herself that I’m over thinking everything.
Her phone went straight to voicemail and I found myself hanging up and redialing trying to get a response but there was nothing. No answer. I decided to try to send her a text instead.
To: Glasses
Reagan call me back!
To: Glasses
Please Reagan, love answer me!
I sat on the stool and waited as a false sense of calm washed over me, but the pain in my stomach grew. Louis stuck his head through the doors of the kitchen catching mine and Zayn’s attention.
“Are you fit to work now or are you going to throw more fucking glasses and scare away customers? I need both of you out here I’m getting mobbed by me self.”
I stood from the stool to follow Zayn out into the pub and ran my hand through my hair roughly sending one last text before I went back out.
To: Tamsin
I need you.
haha mine too they always try to put an extra "a" in it
4/1/14