It Takes Patience II: Guarded
Chapter 27: Demons
*Reagan’s POV*
I adjusted my oversized cable knit sweater and combed my fingers through my knotted hair as much as I could before I reached the closed off office right behind the library where Dr. Koch conducts his research for the case. I feel disgusting today. I haven’t been able to shower and my stomach cramps from the ‘red dragon’ and the head ache from my night of over indulging doesn’t help. Dr. Koch will surely send me back to the hotel today or worse. Harry was on a rampage this morning, but he was right. I should have just gotten up the first time my alarm went off. It was extremely irresponsible to hit the snooze button in the first place.
Harry. When I think about him and how absolutely devastated he was when he saw Peyton my nerves begin to rise to an unsafe level and I have to take several deep breaths to try to calm myself down. My eyes sting and a tear falls as I reach to open the office door. I hastily wipe it away before my body freezes. H. was so upset this morning. What if he tries to hurt himself again? My eyes flood with tears by the thought of it and I take out my phone to quickly send him a text just to make sure that he’s okay. Please be okay. I wipe my eyes again on the sleeves of my sweater and say a silent prayer asking that he’s alright.
I never have been an overly religious person. I hadn’t gone to church nearly as much if at all for that matter, as I did as a child with my grandparents when I was younger. But ever since I even took an interest in Harry, I find myself saying more and more prayers for him rather than myself, hoping that they are not being overlooked due to my neglect.
I open the doors after standing too long in the hallway in front of the door and brace myself for whatever is to come flying out of Dr. Koch’s mouth. He was standing there about twelve feet in front of me with his back facing the door, in a deep discussion with Dr. Adam’s before I was even noticed. I caught the attention of Dr. Adams first. He used the hand that was holding on to his chin to point towards me before he nodded slightly in my direction. I silently cursed him in my mind. I wanted to come in unseen and not cause too much commotion. However, seeing as how I was forty-five minutes late, part of me knew that thought was more than a bit far-fetched.
When Dr. Koch turned around his face immediately crinkled like that of a balled up piece of paper. He eyed me up and down and I could see his jaw clench. A vein protruded out of the side of his temple and I could have sworn he was going to have an aneurysm. I rubbed the sweat from my palms over last night’s jeans and could feel my breathing pick up much like it did in the hallway before I came in. I can’t get fired, please don’t let me be fired.
“A word Miss Stoger.” His tone was harsh and I dropped my head as I followed him back out into the hall. As soon as the door shut, Dr. Koch turned on his heel to face me.
“Where have you been?!” He hissed the question at me and I could feel my heartbeat speed up in my chest.
“I am so sorry Dr. Koch I overslept. I have never done this before and I don’t intend on-”
“Over sleeping is one thing Miss Stoger, but lying is another! I sent for Peyton to get you from your quarters when I realized that you weren’t down in the lobby with the rest of us. He tried to stall for you but it didn’t take a genius to for us to find out that you weren’t in your room! Seeing as how you are standing here in front of me dressed unprofessionally, with marks up and down your neck, embarrassing my name and all the work that I’ve done when I say that you are my protégé, I take it that you were elsewhere last night! Where were you?!” His blue eyes were concentrating on me with a scowl etched on his lips. He looked at me unwavering waiting for an answer. I couldn’t lie. If Dr. Koch was good at anything it was reading people as if they were an open book, it was his sixth sense and I’m sure part of the reason why he chose to be a forensic psychologist.
“I was out with friends, but what I told you wasn’t a lie. I never intend on upsetting you-”
“Upsetting? You represent me! It is a thorough and sheer disrespect and embarrassment!” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and fought back tears as I listened to Dr. Koch tell me off. The worst thing about it was everything he was saying was true. He looked me up and down again before opening the door to the office, leaving me confused as to what the outcome of the tongue lashing was.
“Should I go back to the hotel and pack my things?” I was afraid of the answer, but I would rather know now than later.
“No, you will assist me today and you will stay as late as need you without a word, whine, or complaint you will also stay at the hotel tonight and every week day from now on! If any more indiscretions or disrespects come from you Miss Stoger, then you can pack your bags and kiss your credentials to the school and any other aspect to this career goodbye. Are we clear?”
I nodded my head and walked into the office swallowing the lump that threatened to rise in my throat again along with all other emotions that I might have stirred up this morning. As I walked back in, Peyton and I made eye contact and bile rose from the pit of my stomach. I walked past him and jumped when I felt him gently grab my wrist. I yanked away and eyed him up and down before I left to run an errand for Dr. Koch.
*Harry’s POV*
When I left the pub I was conflicted. Louis made it seem like talking to Reagan would be so easy, but it won’t be. Nothing is and I’ve quickly come to realize that in my 19 years. I love her so much but I won’t be made a fool again. I refuse to give everything to a person who can’t even give me the truth. If she hasn’t cheated again why wouldn’t she tell me about working with him?
I got in my car, and found myself driving aimlessly. Part of me wanted to go back to where every major problem for me started, but I didn’t have enough petrol for the three hour car ride.
When I finally stopped, I found myself at the cemetery and tears filled my eyes instantly when I realized where my subconscious had taken me. I sat in the car for what seemed like hours before I reached for the handle and got out. As I walked my mind went to a thousand different places and the last place it stopped was on the days after my suicide attempt.
Louis was right; I was absolute shit without her. I had to be watched for weeks to make sure that I wouldn’t try to harm myself in any way again. I had no privacy whatsoever, yet I was alone. Even though I was infuriated with her I would still have rather have been with her than be left alone. That’s ultimately what I was and how I felt when she wasn’t here. I love my friends and my family, but Reagan is what I need to keep myself whole and sane. She’s the living breathing version of the letter my father left for me. If she leaves me for him again, I’ll lose it and I need her now more than I did before.
I stopped at my father’s grave, somewhat shocked that I could even remember how to get there. Hot tears streamed down my face and I roughly wiped them away on my shirt. So much would be different if he was still alive and the fear I feel that is tearing me apart wouldn’t even exist. My mum wouldn’t be getting remarried and I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting anyone else.
I sat down against his head stone in the middle of the leaves that had fallen, and took my phone out of my jacket pocket. There was a message there from my beautiful girl and I realized that if my father was still here, I would have never met her in the first place.
From: Glasses
I know that you’re angry but please let me know that you’re okay? It’s making me sick to think that you’re not okay. Text me back please? I love you. Only you.
I adjusted my oversized cable knit sweater and combed my fingers through my knotted hair as much as I could before I reached the closed off office right behind the library where Dr. Koch conducts his research for the case. I feel disgusting today. I haven’t been able to shower and my stomach cramps from the ‘red dragon’ and the head ache from my night of over indulging doesn’t help. Dr. Koch will surely send me back to the hotel today or worse. Harry was on a rampage this morning, but he was right. I should have just gotten up the first time my alarm went off. It was extremely irresponsible to hit the snooze button in the first place.
Harry. When I think about him and how absolutely devastated he was when he saw Peyton my nerves begin to rise to an unsafe level and I have to take several deep breaths to try to calm myself down. My eyes sting and a tear falls as I reach to open the office door. I hastily wipe it away before my body freezes. H. was so upset this morning. What if he tries to hurt himself again? My eyes flood with tears by the thought of it and I take out my phone to quickly send him a text just to make sure that he’s okay. Please be okay. I wipe my eyes again on the sleeves of my sweater and say a silent prayer asking that he’s alright.
I never have been an overly religious person. I hadn’t gone to church nearly as much if at all for that matter, as I did as a child with my grandparents when I was younger. But ever since I even took an interest in Harry, I find myself saying more and more prayers for him rather than myself, hoping that they are not being overlooked due to my neglect.
I open the doors after standing too long in the hallway in front of the door and brace myself for whatever is to come flying out of Dr. Koch’s mouth. He was standing there about twelve feet in front of me with his back facing the door, in a deep discussion with Dr. Adam’s before I was even noticed. I caught the attention of Dr. Adams first. He used the hand that was holding on to his chin to point towards me before he nodded slightly in my direction. I silently cursed him in my mind. I wanted to come in unseen and not cause too much commotion. However, seeing as how I was forty-five minutes late, part of me knew that thought was more than a bit far-fetched.
When Dr. Koch turned around his face immediately crinkled like that of a balled up piece of paper. He eyed me up and down and I could see his jaw clench. A vein protruded out of the side of his temple and I could have sworn he was going to have an aneurysm. I rubbed the sweat from my palms over last night’s jeans and could feel my breathing pick up much like it did in the hallway before I came in. I can’t get fired, please don’t let me be fired.
“A word Miss Stoger.” His tone was harsh and I dropped my head as I followed him back out into the hall. As soon as the door shut, Dr. Koch turned on his heel to face me.
“Where have you been?!” He hissed the question at me and I could feel my heartbeat speed up in my chest.
“I am so sorry Dr. Koch I overslept. I have never done this before and I don’t intend on-”
“Over sleeping is one thing Miss Stoger, but lying is another! I sent for Peyton to get you from your quarters when I realized that you weren’t down in the lobby with the rest of us. He tried to stall for you but it didn’t take a genius to for us to find out that you weren’t in your room! Seeing as how you are standing here in front of me dressed unprofessionally, with marks up and down your neck, embarrassing my name and all the work that I’ve done when I say that you are my protégé, I take it that you were elsewhere last night! Where were you?!” His blue eyes were concentrating on me with a scowl etched on his lips. He looked at me unwavering waiting for an answer. I couldn’t lie. If Dr. Koch was good at anything it was reading people as if they were an open book, it was his sixth sense and I’m sure part of the reason why he chose to be a forensic psychologist.
“I was out with friends, but what I told you wasn’t a lie. I never intend on upsetting you-”
“Upsetting? You represent me! It is a thorough and sheer disrespect and embarrassment!” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and fought back tears as I listened to Dr. Koch tell me off. The worst thing about it was everything he was saying was true. He looked me up and down again before opening the door to the office, leaving me confused as to what the outcome of the tongue lashing was.
“Should I go back to the hotel and pack my things?” I was afraid of the answer, but I would rather know now than later.
“No, you will assist me today and you will stay as late as need you without a word, whine, or complaint you will also stay at the hotel tonight and every week day from now on! If any more indiscretions or disrespects come from you Miss Stoger, then you can pack your bags and kiss your credentials to the school and any other aspect to this career goodbye. Are we clear?”
I nodded my head and walked into the office swallowing the lump that threatened to rise in my throat again along with all other emotions that I might have stirred up this morning. As I walked back in, Peyton and I made eye contact and bile rose from the pit of my stomach. I walked past him and jumped when I felt him gently grab my wrist. I yanked away and eyed him up and down before I left to run an errand for Dr. Koch.
*Harry’s POV*
When I left the pub I was conflicted. Louis made it seem like talking to Reagan would be so easy, but it won’t be. Nothing is and I’ve quickly come to realize that in my 19 years. I love her so much but I won’t be made a fool again. I refuse to give everything to a person who can’t even give me the truth. If she hasn’t cheated again why wouldn’t she tell me about working with him?
I got in my car, and found myself driving aimlessly. Part of me wanted to go back to where every major problem for me started, but I didn’t have enough petrol for the three hour car ride.
When I finally stopped, I found myself at the cemetery and tears filled my eyes instantly when I realized where my subconscious had taken me. I sat in the car for what seemed like hours before I reached for the handle and got out. As I walked my mind went to a thousand different places and the last place it stopped was on the days after my suicide attempt.
Louis was right; I was absolute shit without her. I had to be watched for weeks to make sure that I wouldn’t try to harm myself in any way again. I had no privacy whatsoever, yet I was alone. Even though I was infuriated with her I would still have rather have been with her than be left alone. That’s ultimately what I was and how I felt when she wasn’t here. I love my friends and my family, but Reagan is what I need to keep myself whole and sane. She’s the living breathing version of the letter my father left for me. If she leaves me for him again, I’ll lose it and I need her now more than I did before.
I stopped at my father’s grave, somewhat shocked that I could even remember how to get there. Hot tears streamed down my face and I roughly wiped them away on my shirt. So much would be different if he was still alive and the fear I feel that is tearing me apart wouldn’t even exist. My mum wouldn’t be getting remarried and I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting anyone else.
I sat down against his head stone in the middle of the leaves that had fallen, and took my phone out of my jacket pocket. There was a message there from my beautiful girl and I realized that if my father was still here, I would have never met her in the first place.
From: Glasses
I know that you’re angry but please let me know that you’re okay? It’s making me sick to think that you’re not okay. Text me back please? I love you. Only you.
haha mine too they always try to put an extra "a" in it
4/1/14