*Reagan’s POV*
Harry stood there at the door staring back at me with a mix of shock and wonder shown in his eyes before it was replaced with something else. He walked in not speaking pushing me back into my oversized hotel suite before he shut the door behind him. The lights were still off in my room except for the faint moonlight that came in through the balcony and I noticed something glistening on Harry’s chin. I turned on the light in my hallway so I could see it better.

“You’re bleeding. Harry what happened?” H. closed his eyes away from the new lighting then looked back at me with his eyebrows knotted, still not speaking. I raised my hand to touch the cut on his mouth only to have him grab my wrist. Goosebumps rose all over my body. It’s been so long since I’ve touched him or since he’s touched me.

“Harry please just let me-” H. wiped his mouth and chin on his jacket sleeve before crashing his lips harshly into mine. I kissed him back with the same fervor, so hard that I could feel blood resurface on his lip and it didn’t even bother me.

Harry’s grip was tight on my wrist, so tight that it hurt, but I couldn’t make myself bring my mouth away from his to tell him. I reached again to run my fingers through his hair with my free hand only to have him release the hold he had on the back of my head and capture that wrist as well. He held it just as tight as the other as he backed me into the wall pressing me securely against it. The weight of his body against mine lifted the weight that I feel like I’ve carried ever since I left. The pressure lets me know that he’s here and this is not a dream, it makes every bone in my body ache with need and wanting.

When we came up for air, neither of us could breathe but it didn’t stop us from going into another passionate kiss. I savored every single one of them as if it could be our last. His tongue still tasted minty and sweet even though I could faintly tell that he was drinking before he got here. His lips were still soft and full even though he hungrily crashed them into mine. This moment will be burned into my memory, for me to keep like so many others shared between the two of us. Harry let my wrists go, but as soon as he thought that I would touch him he’d slammed them into the wall again.

“Don’t!” His voice was deep and husky and when he spoke it almost sounded as if it was a growl. I looked into his eyes again, and it was something there that I’d never seen before, something that would have scared me if I didn’t know him so well. I nodded my head and watched him as his hands went to the tie on my robe. He snatched it open slightly startling me, yet putting me at ease as he slid the robe off my shoulders.

His hands then traveled hungrily down my sides and stopped when they reached the hem of my sleeper shirt. I raised my arms and allowed him to remove the cotton material off my body leaving me fully exposed in front of him.

“Are we really doing this?” I looked up at him, not sure if sex was the answer to all of the problems we have to fix.

“Do you not want to?” I nodded my head yes knowing that even if warning signs told me not to, my body would win this round, brain be damned.

“Then why ask? Go get in the bed and wait for me to get there.”

I turned on my heel and went into my room. He’s being so forceful and short with me. I know he’s still hurting, but the way he’s ordering me around turns me on even more. He stood in the hallway, looking at his cell phone before turning it off and dropping it on the floor. H. took off his shirt and then his shoes and jeans as he walked into my room leaving me breathless. He had nice abs, arms and legs when we were together earlier this year, but now everything was more defined and hard. As he walked, I could see his muscles move under his skin as if it was velvet covering an ironed machine.

He sat on the bed next to me clad only in Calvin Klein boxers, before he lowered his lips to mine again. The kiss was just as urgent as before but it was slower, causing a moan to escape my lips before Harry put his hand between my legs and cupped my sex. He slipped two fingers inside of me and moved them harshly, curling them to hit the spot that drove me into pure ecstasy. But I needed him to slow down. I don't want to come undone by his hand.

“Fuck! Harry please?!”

“No. Not yet.” I forced my eyes to stay on his the entire time as he moved himself down the bed in between my legs kissing, licking and nipping along my inner thighs sure to leave tiny marks in his wake. I was shaking in anticipation and I couldn’t control the moans and pants that left my lips. I need this so much. I need to feel him inside me, to kiss him, to touch him more than anything. On instinct, I reached to pull Harry’s hair and tug him in the right direction. When my fingers got to the soft curls at the top of his head Harry stopped and grabbed my wrists again, just as quickly as before.

“Don’t. Touch. Me! Hold the rails on the bed post.” I put my hands there even though my heart began to ache. Why won’t he let me touch him?

He continued to tease me for a short while before I felt his mouth against me, intimately kissing my lower lips. He began to lap up the wetness that pooled there like a kitten eager to get every last drop of milk causing me to writhe in pleasure and torture from my throbbing clit that desperately needed his attention.

“Hold still.”

“Oh! Oh my god! I can't! I can't take it anymore Harry please?! I need you! I need to come. Please?” Harry looked up at me from his position between my legs and stuck his tongue out pressing it against my clit moving it in small quick circles so I could purposely see everything he was doing. I haven’t been touched in so long besides me trying to bring some relief to myself. The action and the vision of what he was doing put together pushed me over the edge almost literally kicking and screaming as Harry put his two fingers back in me pushing in and out so that I could ride out the feeling .

As I came down from my high, I could feel the wetness that pooled underneath me and melted into the sheets leaving evidence of my orgasm, and I saw Harry rolling a condom on himself. I don’t know when he took off his boxers nor do I care. I don’t even know where he got the condom from, all I know is that I need him more than I ever have needed or wanted him before. We made eye contact as Harry positioned himself over me and he still had a look on his face that I couldn’t place. He kissed me again nibbling at my lower lip allowing me to taste myself on his tongue before he pushed himself inside of me.

I winced while biting my bottom lip as I felt his length and girth stretch me. It’s been a month and a half with no contact. I haven’t slept with anyone else. I couldn’t, and it felt as if I was a virgin again when Harry buried himself in me so deeply.

“Fuck, Reagan! You’re so fucking tight!” Harry groaned above me squeezing his eyes shut. He began to move slowly at first allowing my body to adjust and my muscles to remember what I haven’t had in so long.

“Did Peyton touch you the way I do?” Harry’s eyes burned into mine searching for an answer as he began to thrust, almost pulling himself all the way out to tease me.

“Mm N-no, Harry!” Harry began to speed up his pace causing my grip around the bed post to tighten so much that I know my knuckles turned white.

“Did he make you scream the way I do?” Harry changed our positions and put both of my ankles on each of his shoulders as he began to pound into me causing me to screech out in pleasure from the new angle.

“ANSWER ME!”

“NO HARRY! NO, OH GOD!” Harry groaned and dropped his head before licking one of his fingers and rubbing it against my clit.

“FUCK HARRY!”

“Did he make you feel as good as I do?”

“No H.! No! Just you! Only you!” Harry fought to keep his eyes open and I could see them soften for only a second when he looked down at me and saw the pained expression on my face. I know I'll be sore in the morning, but I welcome the feeling. He's going so rough on me both verbally and physically, but I know he needs this just as much as I do if not more.

His eyebrows furrowed again before he wrapped my legs behind his back and balanced his weight on his elbows. His thrusts were hard and deep bringing me closer and closer to the edge. When I finally fell, it was as if a full out explosion shook my body. My muscles tensed and pulsed around Harry making my legs go numb as I called out his name with a sting of profanities. Harry came shortly after me panting and groaning as he did. Beads of sweat covered our bodies as H. shakily pushed himself up to remove himself from me.

He collapsed next to me with his chest rising and falling quickly as he gasped for air.

“Harry?..” His eyes met mine and though I could see the green return to them it was still only a dark shade that took place of the blown out pupils that was there before.

“I love you and only you.”

---

*Harry’s POV*
The words sting, like venom was spit out of her mouth instead of proclamations of so called adoration. Reagan moved her hand from lying lazily at the side of her head to touch the cut on my lip. I let her finger trace there for a second, hurting me and making the soreness go away at the same time before I push her hand to stop her.

“Don’t say that to me and don’t touch me!” I can barely breathe, but the pain that used to sit in the pit of my stomach is completely gone now. I know why, but I’m not sure if I want that to be the reason. It shouldn’t be cured this fast.

“Why can’t I touch you?”

“Because I don’t trust you!” I don’t. I don’t really trust anyone anymore except my sister and my friends...all of them except Niall ever since earlier on tonight. Reagan sighed in defeat fighting back tears before she spoke again.

“But I do Harry! I only love you and I’m so sorry that-”

“I’m not talking about this now!”

“Then when are we going to talk about it?” I could see tears forming in Reagan's eyes again and something about it made me feel...better.

“I don’t know.” I talked sternly and could see the panic in her eyes. This is the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe I shouldn’t let her back in so easy?... I won’t.

“You said that you would let me try.” Her voice was soft, barely at a whisper as I stood to throw the condom away and put on my boxers.

“Yeah, well maybe I’m a piece of shit liar like you. Maybe you’re not so good at catching it anymore.” Hurt began to show clearly across her face and I know I struck a nerve. I don’t want to hurt her, but I do. I don’t want to make her cry, but I need to. This is the way it’s supposed to be.

“Why did you come here then?! Why come if you don’t really want us to work? How did you know I was here?” Tears rolled down her face and I wanted to make them come harder and wipe them away at the same time. I’m a sick bastard.

“I didn’t say that you did.” She looked at me with a confused expression on her face that is about as accurate as I feel.

“I said what?”

“You said that I don’t want us to work. I never said that to you, but if that’s what you think that’s fine too.”

“What am I supposed to think Harry? You just said you don’t want to talk about it and you don’t know when you’ll want to!”

“I don’t Reagan! All I’ve done is talk about it! Talk about it with my mum, my sister, Robin, my friends, the fucking doctor! I’m done talking about it! I’ve talked about it every fucking day since you left! You did this not me!”

“Then what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to show you that I only want you? I only want you Harry.” Her breathing is uneven and it hurts me to see her like this, but this is how I’ve felt the past month and a half...This is the way it’s supposed to be.

“Hmmm I don’t know Reagan... maybe you can try by not FUCKING anyone else while your back. We’ll see where we can go from there if you can handle that. And I came here because I wanted a fuck and knew you would give it to me.” I didn't mean what I said, but the look on her face after I said it brought me sick satisfaction for less than a second. When tears streamed freely down her face and pain was evident I wished that I could take it back.

“Get out, Harry! LEAVE!”

“I was just about to. Actually I was going to leave earlier maybe wait until you fell asleep and be gone when you woke up in the morning. But if I left I at least wouldn’t be to another fucking country!

“JUST GO!”

I put on my clothes and left her there making the sharp pain come back to the pit of my stomach. I won’t leave it this way; at least I don’t think I will. I just have to string her along. I know I need her and I know I still want to be with her, but she needs to know what it felt like for me. I thought I had lost her for good...This is the way it’s supposed to be...

Notes

Hi guys! Yay for late night updates lol. First I want to say HELLO NEW SUBSCRIBERS AND FAITHFUL ONESTHANK YOU GUYS FOR THE VOTES! IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME KEEP THEM COMING! ;) What did you think of this chapter? Do you feel bad for Reagan? Do you think that Harry's being too harsh or do you think it's to be expected because he's bipolar and still hurting? Load me up with comments and feed back (YOU KNOW I NEED IT) and be sure to continue to vote and subscribe if you're enjoying it so far! Also one of my faves @Chasity Rose Styles has a story she's working on called Truly, Madly, Deeply. Go check it out and give her some feedback and comments as well. LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING Xx!!