My eyes slowly opened to Harry's sleeping face. I smiled, trying not to move too much as his arms were wrapped around me and I didn't want to wake him, yet. I needed time to think. My mind kept drifting back to that moment, three days ago, when Harry had found my medicine.
I bit my lip, hard, as if punishing myself for what I had done. I had outright lied to him, told him it was allergy medicine. It made me feel slightly better to know that he didn't believe it for a second, though.

He'd walked straight up to me after my lie, gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered, 'You can tell me when your ready.' And I'd nodded, overwhelmingly happy with his response. I'd never wanted to lie to him, but I wasn't ready to tell him, either. I wasn't ready to ruin us, to ruin our happiness.

I looked back to his face. It was glowing in the morning sunlight that was shining through the window of our hotel room. I couldn't help myself and I lifted a hand and pressed it gently to his cheek. A soft smile spread across his face, and then he whispered, with his eyes still closed, "Hey."

I smiled, "Hey."

He stretched his arms out and then pulled me closer, burying his face in my neck, "We're going on a hot air balloon today."

This turned my smile into a grin. We'd found that there was a hot air balloon fair scheduled for today, and booked a ride two days before. "I'm excited."

He nodded in agreement into the crook of my neck. "What time is it?" He asked, not at all sounding like he wanted to get up.

I checked my watch and my eyes widened, "Ten thirty! Oh shit, Harry! " I exclaimed, untangling myself from his arms, and jumping out of the bed, "We need to be there in an hour."

I ran to the bathroom and I heard Harry chuckle at me from inside the bedroom, "Calm down Avia. We have all the time in the world."

I sighed at the phrase that Harry had been using every once in a while, lately. It would be so painfully ironic in the end.

We were both showered and ready in twenty minutes, and were about to leave the room when I froze at the doorway. I'd forgotten to take my medicine. Harry had walked a little ways down the hall before he realized I wasn't next to him, he turned with a questioning look, "What's wrong, Av?"

I bit my lip and sighed, "I," I started, lifting my hand to point behind me, into the room, "I forgot something."

His face turned into one of understanding mixed with upset. He nodded, "Go on and do it. I'll wait for you here."

I went back into the room, and straight to the bathroom. He'd said, 'go and do it.' not, 'go and get it.'; he knew exactly what I was forgetting. I sighed as I finished up. At least when he found out, it wouldn't completely take him off guard. It would be more like a punch to the gut, rather than a slap to the face.

I made sure to put my things away and then rushed out to Harry, intertwining our hands as we walked down the hall to the elevator. He didn't say anything to me, he just gave me a soft kiss on my temple.

When we were passing the front desk, the chipper french man, who's name I still hadn't learned, said, "Excuse me Miss Freeman?"

I turned to him, with a smile on my face, "Good Morning."

He smiled right back, "Good morning to you as well Miss. I just have to inform you that a Mr. Steven Freeman called the hotel. He said that it was urgent."

I sighed deeply, "Thank you, but please don't take any more messages from him."

He nodded, "No problem, Miss."

I was annoyed that Steven was trying to ruin all of this. He knew very well that, that goodbye was the last. I wouldn't speak to him, no matter how much he wanted me to go back to the hospital and do chemo.

Harry and I went outside and it took ten minutes and a little bit of extra money to get the taxi driver to finally agree to take us thirty minutes to the outskirts of town. The drive was pleasant enough in the crook of Harry's arm.

When we pulled up to the large field, my eyes widened. I stepped out of the cab to take it in. It was as if someone took all the happiness in the world, turned it into colors and then sewed it into the material of the balloons.

The giant figures of vibrant colors dotted the soft blue sky, looking so beautiful, I could barely believe they were real. With them floating in the air above the tall grass field that was blowing in the wind, it seemed more like a desktop background than real life.

I couldn't take my eyes away, so I just reached my hand out and flailed it around until it connected with some part of Harry, "Are you seeing this right now?"

I heard him chuckled from beside me, "Yes, and you look like a toddler in a candy store."

I nodded with a smile, still looking from balloon to balloon, "Feel like it."

Harry laced his fingers with mine, and started to drag me somewhere. I didn't protest; I didn't really care where we were going so long as I could continue to look at the hot air balloons. He tapped me on the shoulder a few seconds of walking later, "Avia, do you just want to look at them all day, or would you like to actually get a ride?"

I tore my eyes away from the sky to see what he was talking about. We were standing right in front of one of the beautiful giants, that had it's basket still touching the ground. I grinned, "Oh my gosh. I've never been so excited for anything in my life."

Harry grinned and dragged me into the basket, that was little in comparison the the balloon that floated above it. We both said our 'Bonjours' to the man who was going to be maneuvering the balloon.

"Ready?" He asked, in a thick french accent.

I smiled and said, "Oui."

Harry smiled at me, "Is someone turning french?"

I grinned, "Nope, just completing the list is all."

Just then, the balloon started to take off, hovering above the ground. My hand squeezed tighter onto Harry's before I finally moved myself closer, hugging onto him as we set off into the sky, a grin plastered on my face as we went. We stayed silent for the climb up and away. Once we were going forward more than upwards, I moved to the edge of the basket, pulling Harry with me.
To say it was amazing, would be an understatement. Not only could I see the other magnificent balloons gracing the sky, but I saw all of the lush green fields, and lakes that were shining in the afternoon sun. The landscape was stunning.

Harry whispered, "Second most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

I didn't need to ask him what the first was, because I already knew he was referring to me. No need to flatter myself by having him explain the statement aloud. I just hugged him closer, looked up at his beautiful face and said, "Ditto."

We looked on in wonder as we drifted through the the rural area and all the while I had that wonderful feeling in my stomach. The one that you get when you're really high up. After a while, Harry asked me, "This is on your list, right?" I nodded. He continued, "Good choice, Baby."

"One of the best choices I ever made." I said. "But, I don't think I want to do more than two things here. I want to go somewhere else to do two, and then I'll only have one left."

"Am I coming with you to do the other two?" He asked, monotone, not wanted to let any emotion escape through his words. Possibly because he didn't want to affect my decision.

I nodded, "Yes. Then it's up to you whether or not you want to come with me to do the last one."

"I want to." He said, quickly.

I shook my head, "We'll see."

After a few seconds, Harry spoke up again, "What was the other thing you did here, other than this?"

I bit my lip, "I haven't finished it yet. I'm supposed to learn ten french words or phrases. I need to learn one more then I'm good."

Harry turned me to face him, pulling me in close and wrapping his arms around my waist, "I've got one for you."

I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck, "Whats that?"

"J'adore te." He whispered, his eyes filled with sincerity.

My heart warmed at his words, and tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I held them in, not wanting to look like an idiot by crying over it. It was overwhelming because of how many times I'd thought about how much I loved him since New Zealand. It was also overwhelming because I knew his heart would be broken when I told him the truth. Now he'd said it out loud. He'd told me he loved me, and there was no taking it back. And there was no way I wasn't going to utter the words back.

I connected our lips, and when we pulled away, I whispered, "I love you, too."

Just then, the man who was steering the balloon cleared his throat, making me realize that I had forgotten his existence all together while we'd been up here. Once he'd gotten our attention, he spoke in his thick accent, "We are having some problems, and we cannot land at the designated time."

Harry chuckled, "This would only happen to us."

I smiled, "That's no problem. What time are we going to land?"

He rolled his eyes, "I need to fix something and get assistance from someone over the phone. It may be a few hours."

I only found his rudeness amusing, so laughed and buried my face in Harry's shirt, "We're going to get very bored, very fast."

I felt Harry laugh and then slide to the ground of the basket, leaning his back against the side, pulling me along with him. "No Avia. We can talk."

I moved so I was sitting next to him, my bare shoulder uncovered by my tank top, touching his covered by his T-shirt, "About what, Mr. Styles?"

He tilted his head back and looked up at the balloon, with a smile on his face, "About where we're going next."

I mimicked his action and tilted my head back as well, "Where do you want to go?"

"Isn't that your choice? You have to do the things on the list." He stated, matter-of-factly.

I shook my head, "These two things are very flexible. You can do them basically anywhere in the world."

He grinned and turned to look straight at me, "What are they?"

I matching grin spread across my face, and I kept looking up and digging my fingers into the straw-like material we were sitting on, "You don't get to know til I do them."

He laughed, "C'mon, Avia. I only want to know one of them."

I sighed and turned to him, "Okay, one. One only." He nodded his grin plastered tightly on his face. He was actually excited. I smiled, "It's not exciting."

He rolled his eyes, "I don't care. Just tell me what it is."

I chuckled slightly and finally said, "Number thirty seven: Stay in a five star hotel for a night."

He laughed and nodded, "You were right, it isn't that exciting."
I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulder. I knew it wouldn't be exciting for him, because he probably stayed in five star hotels all the time. This instance, though, was the only time I ever thought about how rich and famous Harry was. For the entire trip, I never thought of him that way. He was just Harry, who I happened to now be in love with.
He picked up my hand, and started to play with my fingers, "Avia, where do you get all your money from?"

Apparently, his mind was in the same place mine was, thinking about fortune, "What money?"

He looked up at me, "You fly around the world like crazy. You do crazy things. Almost one hundred of them. You have to have money to do that."

This was going to start something, but I was going to tell him the truth, "I'm using my college tuition. That my parents had saved up for me, my whole life."

He raised his eyebrows, "They let you do that?"

If only he knew. I nodded, "Yeah. They let me do that."

"So you don't plan on going to college then?" He asked a little while later.

I bit my lip and shook my head, "Nope." I said, popping the 'p'.

He dropped it then, probably noticing that I didn't want to talk about it. After a few seconds of nothing but the hot air balloon man clanging around with the little machine that shot the fire, I started to hum 'Waiting on the world to change.' by John Mayer. I don't know why, but it seemed appropriate as we drifted around in the green and blue.

Harry smiled at me and started humming along. We were now trying our best to harmonize, but having trouble because of my lack of musical skill, but still giggling. Harry suddenly got up and pulled me with him, and held me to him in a waltz-like position. I laughed as he started to hum louder and lead me around the tiny hot air balloon basket, making circles around the hot air balloon man, who's face displayed that he was clearly not enjoying our little show.

When I nearly tripped when Harry attempted to twirl me, the hot air balloon man cleared his throat in the most annoyed manner, making Harry and I stop dancing, but burst out into laughter.

The man glared at us, and spoke, his voice just as thick with frustration as it was with his accent, "I'm almost finished. We'll be down in two minutes."

Harry tried to compose himself and answer, "Yes, sir." But could barely get it out before he burst into laughter again. I tried to smother my laughter with my hand, but it was no use. Our behavior probably had something to do with how long we'd been stuck on the hot air balloon.

As soon as our balloon had touched the ground, the man huffed and hopped out, walking away with his shoulders rigid, still upset about spending all that time up there with us. We couldn't contain ourselves in the slightest. The man's whole character was hilarious.

All the other balloons were deflated and being rolled up by large teams of people. The fair was over, but I didn't want it to be. I pouted and turned to Harry. He smiled and touched my bottom lip with his thumb, "We can go to another one sometime, okay?" The way he said it. Like he couldn't wait to go again. He was making plans for us.

I bit my lip, "No we can't."

His eyebrows creased, "Av. Stop being like that. We can."

It was unfair. It was horrible what I was doing to him. I was letting him hope and dream. He might have been thinking about moving in together and getting married and having adventures. I was letting him continue to think that everything was fine, and it wasn't.

What I was doing was wrong, and I'd known it since I agreed to let him come with me to New Zealand, but my selfishness had stopped me from doing what was right.

The plans had changed. Harry would decide today whether or not he wanted to continue with me. I was going to be fair to him. I held his hand and cleared my throat, because I could already feel the tears building up and he would hear them in my voice, "We need to talk when we get back to the hotel."

He looked wary, but nodded. We called a cab. The ride back to the hotel was strange. I could say it was almost tense. Tense for Harry because he didn't know what was going to happen, tense for me because I knew exactly what was going to happen.

Harry held me close in the elevator ride up to the room, placing a soft kiss on my temple. It almost made me not want to go through with it. Preserve our happiness. But then I thought about Harry. I was only thinking about him. I wouldn't prolong this. I wouldn't make him break harder.

When we walked in and Harry shut the door, I took a seat at the edge of the bed, and said the words as quickly as I could, so I couldn't back out, "I'm sick."

Harry remained in the middle of the room, not making a move to go to the couch, or join me on the bed. His face was serious. He nodded, "I've figured that much, Av."

I cleared my throat, but when I spoke, you were still able to hear the building tears, "I have cancer."

This moved him. His mouth formed and O, and he moved quickly to me, dropping to his knees and grabbing my face, "What?" He barely whispered.

I nodded, the tears welling up in my eyes, I managed to choke out, "Leukemia."

"Oh my God." He whispered, just staring into my eyes, the only emotion he was displaying was complete shock. "Why are you here? Hospital. We have to go to a hospital." He said pulling me to my feet and starting towards the door.

I shook my head, tugging on his arm, "No, Harry. They can't help me anymore."

He turned to me, his eyebrows creasing and his eyes shining, "What do you mean? They can help you, Avia." He said, in his matter of fact way, but his voice was shaking.

I shook my head, "They said the chemo probably won't work Harry, not a second time." He had to understand.

He shook his head, "What? What are you saying?"

The tears were now pouring out of my eyes, "I have two weeks left, Harry. I'm going to die."

He shook his head, his eyes hard "No you're not. You're not going to die." He said strongly, as if he said believably like that, then it would be true. I wouldn't die if he said I wasn't. If only he could do that. Save me.

I grabbed his face, and looked him in the eyes, "I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He continued to shake his head. He was in shock, or something. He backed away from me and he was walking up and down as I stood there and tried to stop crying. "You're going to die?" He asked, completely disbelieving. I just nodded, tears pouring relentlessly. His eyebrows creased and he let out a long breath as he continued to pace back and forth, "You're dying."

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should go and hug him, or kiss him. He seemed so distressed, like he had no idea what to do either.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked breathlessly, his eyes squinting, his mouth in a grimace.

I just shook my head, "I wanted it to last a little longer."

He sighed and continued pacing, his breathing heavy. He suddenly, said, "I can't. I can't stay here." And he walked to the door, and left, slamming the door behind him.

I dropped to the floor, sobbing, trying to catch my breath, waiting for him to come back. He had to come back. It had been almost ten seconds before Harry busted back into the room. I looked up, my tears slowing slightly. He had the most intense look on his face and he said, "I almost made it to the end of the hall."

I hiccuped, "That far?"

He strode over to me and picked me up, connecting our lips. We were needy, desperate as my legs wrapped around his waist. "I love you." He said in the few seconds he pulled away.

"I love you so much." I gasped whenever I had the chance.

Harry had me supported with my back pressed against the wall, "Don't leave me." He said, his voice breaking before his lips found mine once again.

Tears slipped from my eyes as the only answer I could give him was, "I'm sorry."

"Avia." He whispered, but his voice cracked, again. Not a second later, tears started to pour from his eyes. I thought I knew heartbreak; I swore I'd heard my heart crack before, but I'd go through everything that'd ever hurt me - Four rounds of chemotherapy even, if I never had to see Harry cry, again.

The pain was immeasurable, and I just wanted it to stop. I grabbed his face and tried desperately to kiss away the tears, but they were pouring steadily and I could do nothing but talk to him.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." It was the only thing that I could muster. The only words that would float from my mouth. I was so sorry. Sorry that I'd let him get so attached that he'd break like this.

Sorry that I chased him through the doors in New Zealand, because I was selfish. Sorry that I loved him and couldn't bear to let him go. Sorry that I still wouldn't let go of him, until I wasn't strong enough to hold on anymore.

"I wish you'd told me sooner." He whispered, his tears slowing so that they were now only falling out of his redrimmed eyes every few seconds.

I nodded, "So you could leave. I know. I'm sorry." my voice was thick with tears.

Harry shook his head and held me closer to him, "So that I would have known to hold you a little tighter. To kiss you a little more often." He was whispering the words against my lips, and when a tear of his fell, I could feel it against my face, "Tell you I love you a little sooner. That's why, Avia. You should have told me, so that I'd know to enjoy it while it lasted."

The tears flowed down my face, as I wrapped my arms around Harry's neck and held him as close as was physically possible - as if holding him tight enough would keep me from slipping away.

I didn't want to die. Not anymore.

Notes

Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update earlier today, I haven't been feeling well.
Sooooo, what do you think is going to happen next?

Oh, and by the way, there's only going to be three more chapters left of this story x