Face Down

We spent long weeks waiting for our baby in the hospital. She was so tiny, so fragile, so beautiful. I was afraid, so afraid. Afraid of carrying Aaron's child, afraid of the pain of childbirth, afraid of raising her--afraid I couldn't love a creature that was created through such wicked circumstances. I couldn't see her--WOULDN'T see her. Why would I want to be reminded of that horrible night? Why would I want to see her, this child that looked so much like her father? How could I ever get over that? I hated her. I hated her for being half me and half him. I hated her for taking my youth from me. I hated her for making me hate her. I hated her.
Then Harry, his kind eyes filled with concern for me, took my hands in his and begged that I see her. "Please visit our little girl," he spoke. "Leah needs her mother."
I shook my head violently, giving life to all the anger built up inside. "No. No, I won't see her. You can't ask me to see her."
Harry put his arms around me, calming me with his familiar touch. "She's so beautiful, Aspen. And so small. If you could only see her... Please, Aspen. I know if you hold her, you'll love her, too."
I stilled, my breath escaping me. "You love her?"
"Yes. I do. I didn't know I would, but...I do."
Tears wet my cheeks as a nodded. I would see her. I would meet my baby--Leah.
I took me a while to actually get TO the hospital. It was difficult, a looming thing. I didn't want to see her, didn't want to be reminded of what Aaron did, of the horrible secret I kept for so long. But Harry wanted me to visit her so badly, I eventually sucked it up and made the trip over. I made my way to the NICU, hoping maybe I'd be turned away and I wouldn't have to go in after all.
Just as I reached the door, a nurse walked by. "Excuse me, ma'am, you're not authorized to enter this area of the hospital."
Harry stepped up beside me and put his arm around my waist. "I'm Harry Styles, and this is Aspen Shadows. Our baby is in there. We just wanted to visit her."
The nurse looked unsure, then told us to wait here while she fetched one of the other nurses. I recognized the new nurse--tall with long red hair and freckles dotting her nose. She smiled when she saw who it was, and invited us to come in. After we went through the process of sanitizing ourselves, we were finally allowed to enter into the room with all the babies.
I was struck at once by how small and breakable they all were, encapsulated in plastic cells with random holes and wires running to them. These babies were so weak, I wanted to protect them all. And then I saw a little pink name tag with the word "Leah" scrawled across it. I stopped, fear still dictating my actions, and threw my eyes to the floor. Harry's hand grasped mine, giving me a quick squeeze of encouragement.
And then I saw her. The most beautiful child I'd ever seen in my life. Flushed cheeks and full, pink lips colored porcelain skin. Her thick, dark lashes brushed against her round checks as she dreamed. I looked up to the nurse, my chest weighted by a sudden urgency I'd never have guessed I would feel. "Can I hold her?"
"I'm afraid you can't, but if you place your hand in that hole there you can touch her."
I looked around until I spotted the open space which the speckled nurse referred to and slowly reached my hand in. I found her tiny, little hand and held it in mine, stroking her soft skin with my thumb. Then her eyes flashed open, and I was shocked by a sight which moved me to my core. Clear, blue eyes, deep as pools. 'My eyes....She has my eyes.' And I wept, a new warmth and love spreading through me, fingertips to toes. How could I not love her? How could I ever have thought to turn away from my little girl? "Hi, Leah," I choked out, smiling through my tears. "Hello, my baby Blue Eyes."
"It's the weirdest thing," the nurse said, drawing my attention. "We've never seen eyes so bright and blue, so light. It's a color unlike anything we've ever seen in this NICU. Your child is truly unique."
I laughed. Naturally my baby would be the weird one. But she was mine. MINE. And I loved her with all my heart.
"Leah's improved greatly. We expect you'll be able to take your baby home soon, maybe in a few days."
I looked to Harry, and he spared me a kiss. Our baby would be home soon.

Notes

Hello, Lovies!

This is Lalagirl1995. Icedragon456 was having MAJOR writers block, so she asked me to help out again! I hope you like my chapter and stick around to read what awesome words she comes up with next!
Have a lovely and fantastic Friday!

--Lalagirl1995 <3