Our Place

Niall and I sit against the tall tree as I tell him about my mother. She was always worried about me when I came home from school late, thinking that I might have been bullied when I rally just took a stop at the smoothie shop. She had confronted me a few times, telling me she felt guilty for not being around much. I told Niall about that special lasagna she loved, the lasagna only my father knew how to make. Of course, I begin crying as I talk about her, and when I try to hide it, Niall pulls me to him, telling me its okay to cry.

I’m so mad at myself. If I hadn’t left so early that morning, my parents and I may have gotten into another argument. Then I could have stalled them from going out, and they could have missed that stupid car that crashed into them. I could have done something to stop my mother’s death, and that killed me.

“You’re blaming yourself,” Niall whispers into my ear. I don’t deny it, but I don’t confirm it either. He just seems to know everything about me. “You can’t blame yourself, Luke. It’s not fair to you. You didn’t know there was going to be a car crash. You didn’t know that it was fatal. Hell, you were here with me!”

“But if I hadn’t been here with you, if I had been at my house, I may have saved them.” My voice is barely audible, but Niall hears because he frowns deeper.

“I don’t like that you’re bringing yourself down for something you couldn’t do anything about.”

“But I could have done something.”

Niall sighs and shakes his head. His eyes stay focused away from me like he’s thinking.

“Do you know when the funeral is?” he asks quietly, catching me off guard. I bit back tears at the thought of my mum being buried six feet underground.

“Don’t know,” I choke on my tears. Niall squeezes me tighter and soon, my cheeks are wet again.

“I know I’ll never be able to comprehend the pain that you’re feeling right now. But I do know that this is a hard time for you, and it’s a dangerous time to be alone. So if you want, you could come stay with me for a while.” Niall offered out of the blue. I stared at him, thinking about his offer.

“No thank you,” I shake my head. “I’ll be okay, Niall.”

He nodded. “Just know that I’m here for you.”

“Thank you,” I say, my voice hoarse. Niall presses his warm lips to my forehead and hugs me as I shed my tears. I don’t want to talk about my mother anymore, because now it just hurts. I can feel the pain and guilt twisting my heart treacherously. I tell myself my mum is in a better place. That my dad will be okay. But what if there is no such thing as heaven? What if my father doesn’t end up being well? But I think what I am most scared of is Niall leaving me.

He’s my friend. My only friend. It’s pathetic, but it’s true. The pathetic truth.

“I hate it when you cry,” he grumbles. It’s silent after that, and I’m okay with it. The birds tweet and a mockingbird somewhere in the woods makes a sound that echoes through the forest. Soon my crying had simmered down to faint whimpers, Niall holding me all the while. We must have sat there together for two hours at least, as my bottom was beginning to numb.

“How about we get some lunch?” Niall suggested softly, taking him arms away from me. He stood up, then held out his hand and pulled me to my feet.

“Lunch sounds okay,” I nod.

We head back to my house in nearly complete silence. Niall asks if I’m okay once in a while. I’m touched that he cares so much. When we reach my home, we walk around the house to Niall’s car. He smiles and opens the passenger doorway for me, before getting into the driver’s seat.

“There’s this little café not far from here. They have great sandwiches and stuff,” he says. “Strike any interest?”

“Sure,” I force a smile to my lips. “Whatever you want is fine with me.”

Niall nods and begins driving. We reach a small cafe, just like he said. Niall parks the car in the parking lot and leads me into the café. There aren’t too many people in the place. However, the smell of food hits my nose, making me eager to eat. Niall grabs my wrist gently and leads me to the front counter.

“Jimmy?” he calls, seeing as no one is behind the counter. “Jim, it’s Niall!”

A guy, about the age of thirty or so walks out from the kitchen. He’s got an apron on his waist and a red cap covering his dark hair. His eyes are striking green and they are looking at Niall.

“Niall!” Jim grins, walking up behind the counter. “Long time no see!”

“I know,” Niall laughs. “Just got home from tour about two weeks ago. What a journey.”

“I bet,” Jim nods in all seriousness. Then he glances at me and nods back at Niall. “Who’s this pretty lady? Your girlfriend?”

Why do people always think Niall and I are boyfriend and girlfriend?

“No,” Niall chuckles lightly. “This is my friend, Luke.”

Jim grins widely and shakes me hand. His teeth are so white, it’s kind of scary. He quite good-looking though, so it’s alright. “Hey, Luke. I’m Jim.”

“So Niall says,” I laugh lightly.

“So, what can I get you two today?” Jim asks, gesturing to the large menu plastered on the wall above him. I’m highly unsure of hat to get, as I have never been to this place before. Niall reads my mind.

“We’ll get two double bacon and ham sandwiches with tomatoes, lettuce and onions. Also a large frie on the side and two medium drinks.”

Well, he seems to know what’s he’s doing.

“Ah, the usual.” Jim laughs, pressing the order into the computer screen. After he repeats the order and Niall confirms it, Niall pays for our food and we go sit down in a booth. There are people staring at us, or, staring at Niall. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but Niall seems to be oblivious of it all. I assume he’s used to the staring while he eats.

I’m not.

Our food comes fairly quick. Niall licks his lips and Jim sets the food out of our table. I thank him quietly and he smiles in return, then head back into the kitchen. I slowly unwrap my sandwich and I’m about to take a bite when I see a girl and her friends giving me dirty looks. They’re whispering as they stare at me. I over hear the words “fat” and “disgusting” coming from their mouths.

I set the sandwich down.

“Luke?” Niall frowns and places one of his hands on mine. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I nod, looking down. My mother is dead, and now girls are criticizing me. Today is a bad, bad day.

“Well eat, then,” Niall says, pausing and waiting for me to pick up my sandwich. I start to feel uncomfortable by how he’s staring at me, so I roll my eyes and pick up the sandwich and bite into it. Niall smiles in satisfaction and continues eating.

We make small talk over anything but my parents. Niall tells me stories about his tours, and how it’s stressful but incredible and worth it at the same time. He describes each of him band mates and concludes that he’s closest to the one named Liam. They seem like wonderful, carefree people, just like Niall.

We’re in the middle of a conversation on our favorite movies when a bright flash catches my eye. And then more. My eyes widen as I take in the growing group of people with cameras in their hands snap pictures of us.

“Shit,” Niall curses lowly. “We need to get out of here.”

I’m scared out of my mind. Too many people are surrounding the front of the place. Horror strikes when they begin entering the shops in tens. Niall shoot Niall a look of distress. They are yelling at us, asking us questions. Some grabs my hair and I shriek.

“Grab my hand and don’t let go!” Niall yells. He reaches out for me and I grab his hand. His fingers lace through mine quickly and he pulls me. People push us as we try to get to the counter. The place is crowded. How did this happen? Less than a minute ago, it was just Niall and I, an elderly couple and that table of girls.

“Niall, who is this girl? Is she your girlfriend?”

“How long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Niall, how good is she in bed?”

“Are you going to dump her any time soon?”

“When is the wedding?”

Stupid questions are yelled to Niall, but he ignores them. We reach the back of the counter and Niall pulls me roughly through to the kitchen. Jim and some other cooks are running around frantically.

“Jim,” Niall asked, nearly out of breath. “Is there a back door?”

Jim nods and leads us through the kitchen. I’m shocked, and my head hurts from the yelling. My eyes are flashing from the camera flashes.

Jim pushes open a back door that leads to another side of the parking lot. Niall pulls me out, his grip on my hand still so tight. We walk as fast as we can through the fewer amount of paparazzi waiting outside and to his car. I get inside the car as fast as possible, and Niall does to. He starts the car and honks and the paparazzi to move.

I’m frozen. That was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

“Are you okay?” Niall gulps, keeping one hand on the wheel while the other rests on my knee. My lips quiver and I turn to face the window. This is definitely too much for one day.

“Luke, please don’t ignore me,” Niall begs. I can tell he’s trying not to cry. I can see that it’s slowly hurting him by not answering. I’m just shocked, and a bit pissed that I had to go through that at such a rough time. I’m starting to sweat from how scared I had become, so I shrug my cardigan off and place it over the head rest of the seat.

“I’m fine,” I answer with a blank expression. Niall sighs and turns away. I don’t know why but I start crying again. The tears are becoming uncontrollable.

When Niall pulls up in front of my house, I unbuckle my seat belt. Niall grabs my hand.

“Please, just tell me you okay,” he whispers.

“I already told you I’m fine.” I shake his hand off of me and open the passenger seat door. I step outside and wipe away my tears. Shutting the door, I make my way up the walk way to the front door. I turn around to wave to Niall when I see he’s gotten out of his car. He’s coming towards me.

Unexpectedly, his arms latch around my waist and he gives such a tight hug, I think I might suffocate.

“I’m so, so sorry for what happened today,” he says as he hugs me. “I know it’s such a bad time for you and you’re probably so pissed at me for making you go through it. If I had known we’d get mobbed, I would’ve have never brought you there.” He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

“It’s okay, Niall,” I exhale. “I just need some time alone.”

He nods. “Okay.” He stares at me for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and turning his back to me. He walks back down the walk way and to his car. Once inside the car, he waves to me, and then drives off.

I enter my quietly lonely house and Hotshot charges at me, jumping up and down at my feet. I feel so bad for leaving him in the house alone.

The rest of the day, I sit on the couch and stare at the television. I’m not even watching the shows, but I have nothing better to do. Hotshot gets the gist that I want to be alone and trudges away to my bedroom. I cry a bit more, and eventually drag my feet into the kitchen to retrieve a tub of ice cream for the refrigerator. I grab a metal spoon from the dishwasher and head back to the living room.

My head starts to hurt from the amount of ice cream that I’ve consumed, but I keep eating more and more.

Until I’m running to the bathroom and throwing up.

I throw up everything I’ve eaten recently, from the ice cream, to my lunch, to the small banana I had for breakfast. And when I finish throwing up, I flush toilet and lean back against the wall and sob my heart out. I want my mother. I want my father. I need them. So much. I treated them like strangers when they were here with me, and now that they are gone, I cry over them.

I am so selfish.

I get up and slam the bathroom door shut on the way out to my bedroom. I collapse on my bed. My muscles aren’t working and my chest feels heavy from crying so much. I sit up and look into the mirror. I look worse than normal. You eyes are bloodshot and my entire face is tearstained. I don’t know what I’m even doing when I pick up a book and throw in at the mirror. I’m relieved when it doesn’t crack, but the book falls to the floor loudly, causing Hotshot to bark from where ever he is.

“Damn it!” I yell, snot and tears covering my face. I’m so mad and terrified,, and I don’t know what to do. Hot shot enters my room and I turn into a devil.

“Get out!” I yell, kicking him. I kick my own dog who I love and care so much for. “Get the hell out of my room!”

Hotshot whimpers and backs away, running down the hallway. I yell at no one and start throwing everything. I can’t stop myself from crying and yelling and throwing and it’s scaring me. I don’t know what is firing my behavior, but there is one thing I know.

I’m going crazy.

Notes

Oh my god. I don't know why I make this story so depressing. Is it too sad? Well, it will get better. I feel so so bad for Luke. She is going through so much.
So...

Do you think Niall Luke will stay friends?

Will Luke shut Niall out because of her mother's death?

Will Luke's dad make it? Will he die?

Why is Luke's place so important?

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