Our Place
Chapter Four
I get home and my parents and on the sofa, snuggled up. My mum’s head rises when I step through the front door.
“Hello,” she smiles, wiggling out of my dad’s grasp. Dad sits up and smiles at me.
“How was your afternoon?” he asks, patting a space in between him and my mum. They were being unusually friendly. Not that they were mean, but this was just a bit over the top.
“Fine,” I answer, unsure of what I’m supposed to say. This is even creepier than Niall claiming that he knows me.
Finally, Mum sighs. “We’re not trying to be weird, Luci,” she promises. Luci. That’s even worse that my full name. “It’s just that, we feel like you’ve been so distant with us lately.”
“No I haven’t,” I say. My voice rises slightly. “If anything, it’s you two who have been distant with me.”
“How so, Lucilia?” he asks. He never calls me by my real name unless I’m getting on his nerves. I don’t care. They can’t just blame everything on me.
“I mean, for one, its vacation. We should be spending time together, but no, you two just leave me notes on my bedroom door saying you’ve gone out to lunch. Sometimes I feel like I’m a burden to you. It’s not like you both act like you care.”
My mum’s face falls. She looks hurt. I’m hurt too, way down deep. That’s the worst place to be hurt, because it’s the hardest to heal.
“We didn’t mean to,” my mum says. “We really did just want to let you sleep. And what about you? You’re always sneaking off to where ever it is you sneak off to. Do you know what a heart attack I get when I come home and you’re gone?”
“Well, there’s nothing to do in this place,” I gesture to the entire house. “It’s so lonely here and you two are always out. What am I to do? Sit in my room and stare at the wall until you come home so that you don’t get a heart attack?”
“We never said that!” my father raises his voice.
“But that is what your implying!” I growl. “Don’t deny it.”
“Lucilia, please-“
“No, mum,” I cut her off, quite infuriated at this point. “Seriously, I feel like I have no one. No one who really cares. You and dad are always gone, leaving me in the hell of a large house. I don’t have any friends at school because of how lonely I’ve been in the house. It rubs off, you know? And Callie? She’s got her own friends. I’m her second choice. Not even her second choice. Probably her twentieth choice. All I really have is Hotshot and Niall. They are the only ones that make me feel like I’m someone.”
My mum’s eyes narrow while my father speaks the words running through her head.
“Who. Is. Niall.” He demands. His voice is frighteningly calm. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.
“He’s… a bird.” My voice makes it sound more like a question. Oh my lord, Luke. Really? A bird? You couldn’t be any more creative, could you?
“A bird?” My father laughs dryly.
I glance at my mother and notice her face has gone pale.
“Mum?” I call her out. “You look awfully pale. Got anything you’d like to say?”
“Lucilia River Aesbury, do not speak to your mother like that.” My father scolds. I roll my eyes.
“It’s Luke.”
“Did you say Niall?” my mother asks quietly. My muscles tense.
“Yes. I named him that.” So I guess I’m still going with the bird lie.
“S-so it’s not a person?” my mum questions. She looks as if she has seen a ghost.
“No,”I assure her. I almost feel bad for lying to her, but I don’t really care. I’m what most would call “pissed” right now.
The room is silent.
I let out a load groan storm up to my room. Hotshot barks when I slam my door closed. He comes to my side and whines softly until I bend down and pick him up. Next thing I know, I’m sinking down to the ground against the wall, letting my tears out. Hotshot continues to whine, begging me to stop crying, but when he realizes I’m not going to, he stops and just curls up in my lap.
I cry for hours and hours. There is a knock on my door and whoever it is, I tell them to go away. When I open the door later, there’s a plate with three slices of pizza on it. I pull it inside my room and lock the door again.
As I sit on my bed and wipe my tears, the phone in my pocket vibrates with a text message. I pull out my phone to see who it is, and it’s like a whole weight load has been lifted off my chest.
From: Niall
Don’t forget that Sprite tomorrow.
To: Niall
Keep dreaming, Niall
And just like that, I’m smiling again. My face feels raw from crying, and the tear stains have dried on my face. Niall and I message each other for a good hour or so, before he tells me that his brother’s family is here. He sends me a picture of himself with a huge grin on his face. The message under it read, “So excited to see Theo!”
Sucks that I’ll never be an aunt.
When he says he has to go, he ends our conversation with an “Xx” and doesn’t answer afterward. I’m guessing sending kisses is a normal friendly gesture for people who actually have friends, so I don’t take it personally.
I sit alone in my bedroom, and ironically, I’m staring at the wall the way I questioned my parents earlier. My whole life is a bore. It always has been and will continue to be. But then again, I do feel better when I’m with Niall.
I honestly sound crazy when I say this, but there is something connecting us. Something making our friendship stronger by the second. Something about the way we talk and share stories about ourselves. Never have I made friends with someone so quickly. It took to a whole projects worth of effort to even have a real conversation with Callie. With Niall, I was skipping rocks with him within the first hour of meeting him. He struck me as the annoying, player type, but after a while, I came to understand that he really is nothing like that. He’s sweet, though he probably doesn’t want many to know that. He wants to come off as the strong, flirty type, but he’s far from it.
Not long after, I get another picture message from Niall. It’s a picture of him with his face pressed against a baby’s. I know immediately that this must be Theo.
To: Niall
He’s adorable :)
Niall answer’s quickly.
From: Niall
I know. He’s just as adorable as me.
To: Niall
You wish you were as adorable as him.
From: Niall
Oh, I am. You know it Luke ;)
I laugh and tell him to stop talking to me and go be with his family. He obeys, and I’m bored again. As I eat my pizza, I suddenly remember how shocked my mum looked when I mentioned Niall’s name. Maybe she knew someone named Niall who she didn’t have a good history with or something, but it couldn’t be my Niall. He lives on the other side of the woods, which would take quite a long time to get to if you went around and avoided the woods.
I put some music on and find myself going back through my conversation with Niall. I stop at the picture of him, and then the other picture of him and Theo. I know he’s right. Niall does look as adorable as Theo, though I would never admit it to him. He would never let me live it down.
I wish I was an aunt. That would be so amazing. To have someone to love and care for. To have someone depending on me. I feel warm tears falling down my face and onto the bed sheets. I always have a reason when I cry, and it’s always the same reason. It’s the fact that I’ll never have someone who loves me, and I’ll never have any friends. I’m not bullied, not teased, but not having someone to talk to is almost as bad. I can’t talk to Hotshot; all he ever does is bark back. I almost feel like telling Callie to come over, but I’m sure she will probably decline. She spends much of her time with her boyfriend. I’m jealous of her, not because of her boyfriend, but because she always has someone to hold her.
I don’t.
And so I fall asleep, crying, and alone.
The next morning, I sneak out extra early, because I don’t want to deal with my parents. I stuff some cold strawberries and a banana into my mouth as a sad excuse for breakfast, and grab two Sprite cans on the way out the door. One is for Niall.
I find it odd that Hotshot doesn’t follow me, for the second time in a row. I can’t blame him though. He’s sleeping.
I jog through the woods, one Sprite can in each of my hands. I have no clue why, but I’m crying again. Damn it. I need to stop that. I feel so weak when I cry. I hate feeling weak.
When I reach my place, I’m still crying. I don’t think I have a reason anymore. Somehow, my body still had extra tears even after crying myself to sleep the night before. I sit down against the big tree and cover my face as I cry. Niall shouldn’t be coming out for another hour or so.
That’s an hour for me to cry intensely and freely.
I’m a nasty crier. Someone would probably cringe if they saw me crying. My eyes become bloodshot and tears stain my face very badly. I know that’s how I look like right now, but I don’t care. It’s not like there’s anyone to see me in my miserable state.
“Luke!”
Oh. No.
My eyes widen as Niall runs towards me. He’s grinning like he always does, but when we make eye contact, his smile drops in an instant.
“What happened?” he asks, creases in his forehead. He runs towards me and bends down, trying to get a look at my face. When I don’t answer him, he sighs and turns around, sitting down beside me. The side of his body is pressed against mine. We’re so close. He’s so warm.
Niall smells like Old Spice. I know because my dad uses it. It doesn’t smell as great on my dad as it does on Niall. Niall strokes my hair, almost forcing my head to rest on his shoulder. It does so anyway.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Niall asks quietly. His warm breath tickles my cheek. I still don’t answer. He slips a finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Niall presses his thumb to my cheek and wipes a tear away. “Nothing’s going to get better if you don’t talk about it.”
I don’t want to talk. I’m comfortable like this. Silence. Only the sound of his breathing and mine. But he’s right. I do need to talk about it if I want to feel any better. And I do. All the while, I feel a surge of happiness.
Because I’m like Callie now.
Because I finally have someone to hold me.
“Hello,” she smiles, wiggling out of my dad’s grasp. Dad sits up and smiles at me.
“How was your afternoon?” he asks, patting a space in between him and my mum. They were being unusually friendly. Not that they were mean, but this was just a bit over the top.
“Fine,” I answer, unsure of what I’m supposed to say. This is even creepier than Niall claiming that he knows me.
Finally, Mum sighs. “We’re not trying to be weird, Luci,” she promises. Luci. That’s even worse that my full name. “It’s just that, we feel like you’ve been so distant with us lately.”
“No I haven’t,” I say. My voice rises slightly. “If anything, it’s you two who have been distant with me.”
“How so, Lucilia?” he asks. He never calls me by my real name unless I’m getting on his nerves. I don’t care. They can’t just blame everything on me.
“I mean, for one, its vacation. We should be spending time together, but no, you two just leave me notes on my bedroom door saying you’ve gone out to lunch. Sometimes I feel like I’m a burden to you. It’s not like you both act like you care.”
My mum’s face falls. She looks hurt. I’m hurt too, way down deep. That’s the worst place to be hurt, because it’s the hardest to heal.
“We didn’t mean to,” my mum says. “We really did just want to let you sleep. And what about you? You’re always sneaking off to where ever it is you sneak off to. Do you know what a heart attack I get when I come home and you’re gone?”
“Well, there’s nothing to do in this place,” I gesture to the entire house. “It’s so lonely here and you two are always out. What am I to do? Sit in my room and stare at the wall until you come home so that you don’t get a heart attack?”
“We never said that!” my father raises his voice.
“But that is what your implying!” I growl. “Don’t deny it.”
“Lucilia, please-“
“No, mum,” I cut her off, quite infuriated at this point. “Seriously, I feel like I have no one. No one who really cares. You and dad are always gone, leaving me in the hell of a large house. I don’t have any friends at school because of how lonely I’ve been in the house. It rubs off, you know? And Callie? She’s got her own friends. I’m her second choice. Not even her second choice. Probably her twentieth choice. All I really have is Hotshot and Niall. They are the only ones that make me feel like I’m someone.”
My mum’s eyes narrow while my father speaks the words running through her head.
“Who. Is. Niall.” He demands. His voice is frighteningly calm. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.
“He’s… a bird.” My voice makes it sound more like a question. Oh my lord, Luke. Really? A bird? You couldn’t be any more creative, could you?
“A bird?” My father laughs dryly.
I glance at my mother and notice her face has gone pale.
“Mum?” I call her out. “You look awfully pale. Got anything you’d like to say?”
“Lucilia River Aesbury, do not speak to your mother like that.” My father scolds. I roll my eyes.
“It’s Luke.”
“Did you say Niall?” my mother asks quietly. My muscles tense.
“Yes. I named him that.” So I guess I’m still going with the bird lie.
“S-so it’s not a person?” my mum questions. She looks as if she has seen a ghost.
“No,”I assure her. I almost feel bad for lying to her, but I don’t really care. I’m what most would call “pissed” right now.
The room is silent.
I let out a load groan storm up to my room. Hotshot barks when I slam my door closed. He comes to my side and whines softly until I bend down and pick him up. Next thing I know, I’m sinking down to the ground against the wall, letting my tears out. Hotshot continues to whine, begging me to stop crying, but when he realizes I’m not going to, he stops and just curls up in my lap.
I cry for hours and hours. There is a knock on my door and whoever it is, I tell them to go away. When I open the door later, there’s a plate with three slices of pizza on it. I pull it inside my room and lock the door again.
As I sit on my bed and wipe my tears, the phone in my pocket vibrates with a text message. I pull out my phone to see who it is, and it’s like a whole weight load has been lifted off my chest.
From: Niall
Don’t forget that Sprite tomorrow.
To: Niall
Keep dreaming, Niall
And just like that, I’m smiling again. My face feels raw from crying, and the tear stains have dried on my face. Niall and I message each other for a good hour or so, before he tells me that his brother’s family is here. He sends me a picture of himself with a huge grin on his face. The message under it read, “So excited to see Theo!”
Sucks that I’ll never be an aunt.
When he says he has to go, he ends our conversation with an “Xx” and doesn’t answer afterward. I’m guessing sending kisses is a normal friendly gesture for people who actually have friends, so I don’t take it personally.
I sit alone in my bedroom, and ironically, I’m staring at the wall the way I questioned my parents earlier. My whole life is a bore. It always has been and will continue to be. But then again, I do feel better when I’m with Niall.
I honestly sound crazy when I say this, but there is something connecting us. Something making our friendship stronger by the second. Something about the way we talk and share stories about ourselves. Never have I made friends with someone so quickly. It took to a whole projects worth of effort to even have a real conversation with Callie. With Niall, I was skipping rocks with him within the first hour of meeting him. He struck me as the annoying, player type, but after a while, I came to understand that he really is nothing like that. He’s sweet, though he probably doesn’t want many to know that. He wants to come off as the strong, flirty type, but he’s far from it.
Not long after, I get another picture message from Niall. It’s a picture of him with his face pressed against a baby’s. I know immediately that this must be Theo.
To: Niall
He’s adorable :)
Niall answer’s quickly.
From: Niall
I know. He’s just as adorable as me.
To: Niall
You wish you were as adorable as him.
From: Niall
Oh, I am. You know it Luke ;)
I laugh and tell him to stop talking to me and go be with his family. He obeys, and I’m bored again. As I eat my pizza, I suddenly remember how shocked my mum looked when I mentioned Niall’s name. Maybe she knew someone named Niall who she didn’t have a good history with or something, but it couldn’t be my Niall. He lives on the other side of the woods, which would take quite a long time to get to if you went around and avoided the woods.
I put some music on and find myself going back through my conversation with Niall. I stop at the picture of him, and then the other picture of him and Theo. I know he’s right. Niall does look as adorable as Theo, though I would never admit it to him. He would never let me live it down.
I wish I was an aunt. That would be so amazing. To have someone to love and care for. To have someone depending on me. I feel warm tears falling down my face and onto the bed sheets. I always have a reason when I cry, and it’s always the same reason. It’s the fact that I’ll never have someone who loves me, and I’ll never have any friends. I’m not bullied, not teased, but not having someone to talk to is almost as bad. I can’t talk to Hotshot; all he ever does is bark back. I almost feel like telling Callie to come over, but I’m sure she will probably decline. She spends much of her time with her boyfriend. I’m jealous of her, not because of her boyfriend, but because she always has someone to hold her.
I don’t.
And so I fall asleep, crying, and alone.
The next morning, I sneak out extra early, because I don’t want to deal with my parents. I stuff some cold strawberries and a banana into my mouth as a sad excuse for breakfast, and grab two Sprite cans on the way out the door. One is for Niall.
I find it odd that Hotshot doesn’t follow me, for the second time in a row. I can’t blame him though. He’s sleeping.
I jog through the woods, one Sprite can in each of my hands. I have no clue why, but I’m crying again. Damn it. I need to stop that. I feel so weak when I cry. I hate feeling weak.
When I reach my place, I’m still crying. I don’t think I have a reason anymore. Somehow, my body still had extra tears even after crying myself to sleep the night before. I sit down against the big tree and cover my face as I cry. Niall shouldn’t be coming out for another hour or so.
That’s an hour for me to cry intensely and freely.
I’m a nasty crier. Someone would probably cringe if they saw me crying. My eyes become bloodshot and tears stain my face very badly. I know that’s how I look like right now, but I don’t care. It’s not like there’s anyone to see me in my miserable state.
“Luke!”
Oh. No.
My eyes widen as Niall runs towards me. He’s grinning like he always does, but when we make eye contact, his smile drops in an instant.
“What happened?” he asks, creases in his forehead. He runs towards me and bends down, trying to get a look at my face. When I don’t answer him, he sighs and turns around, sitting down beside me. The side of his body is pressed against mine. We’re so close. He’s so warm.
Niall smells like Old Spice. I know because my dad uses it. It doesn’t smell as great on my dad as it does on Niall. Niall strokes my hair, almost forcing my head to rest on his shoulder. It does so anyway.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Niall asks quietly. His warm breath tickles my cheek. I still don’t answer. He slips a finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Niall presses his thumb to my cheek and wipes a tear away. “Nothing’s going to get better if you don’t talk about it.”
I don’t want to talk. I’m comfortable like this. Silence. Only the sound of his breathing and mine. But he’s right. I do need to talk about it if I want to feel any better. And I do. All the while, I feel a surge of happiness.
Because I’m like Callie now.
Because I finally have someone to hold me.
Please update soon! I know you said that you have a project and well, good luck on it! But can you try to update Our Place? It's been a while :)
4/5/14