I walk into the house and quickly go into the bathroom to fix my teary, makeup smeared eyes. I'm still in complete shock with what just happened minutes before, but the only thing keeping me going is knowing this can't last long. As much as I hate it, Harry and I have always been like this: up and down, fight and makeup. I just wish this wasn't worse than all of the other times, because this time feels different. Maybe it won't be like our other fights, maybe Harry really meant what he said.

Once I look like I haven't been crying, I leave the bathroom intending to go straight to my room, but my dad stops me in the kitchen. "Did you talk to Harry?"

"Yeah." I respond and keep walking.

"Are you two okay?" He asks. Crap, I probably still look miserable and he can tell something's going on.

I want to tell him the truth, but I can't give him the satisfaction. He knew Harry would do something to hurt me, and I defended him. I'm now starting to think I shouldn't have. "Yeah, I just have some more homework to get done."

"He seemed pretty shaken up when he came over, are you sure everything's alright?" What? When was Harry here?

I stop walking and turn to look at my dad who is sitting at the table. "You said Harry was here?"

"Yeah, he didn't mention it to you?" He laughs. "I thought he was going to kill me! He came over and yelled at me for not letting you see him, and I had to tell him that wasn't true. Did you not tell him I changed my mind?" My dad seems completely amused with Harry coming over, but I feel embarrassed for his behavior.

"Oh, I should get started on my homework." I lie and shuffle upstairs, ignoring his question.

Locking my door behind me, I sit at the chair by my desk and try to calm down for a minute. I feel like I've just ran a marathon. These continuous questions keep adding in my mind and I don't know where to begin thinking. It's making me exhausted.

I think I just need to give Harry some time, but that is difficult for me. I just want him to hug me, tell me he loves me and that he's sorry for making me chose. I guess I understand why he could feel this way about Max, but there's no excuse for him giving me an ultimatum. In the end, it's Harry I love, and that should be enough for him.

Even though Harry is the one who is wrong here, I feel the need to fix this. I can't stand being apart from him right now knowing this could simply be fixed. I should never have to sacrifice a friendship of mine for him, but there's a part of me reminding myself that Harry, no matter how stubborn and impossible he may be, is someone I can't live without. I love him, and I don't know if I'll ever stop. The thought of him breaking up with me and going back to his old ways of hooking up with a different girl every day sends a cold shiver through my body. I need to take matters into my own hands if we're going to make this work.

I dial Max's number on my phone and wait for him to answer. I don't even know what I say, but I'm hoping the words will just come to me.

"Hello?" He finally answers, creating my heart to race with nervousness.

"Hey Max, what's up?" Don't beat around the bush, Addie!

"Not much, just finishing up some homework. How are you?" He asks and I can tell his confused as to why I called.

"I'm. . . I've seen better days." The line is silent on both ends before I man up and say something. "You know that you're one of my best friends right?" I begin.

"Sure, why?"

"It's just, when I told Harry about you kissing me after his party the other week, he's been convinced that you see me as more than a friend." I say, not sure where I'm trying to go with this.

"Okay. . ." He prompts me to continue.

"I know we talked and you said you respected that I was dating Harry, but for some reason he thinks you were lying."

Once again, the line is quiet from his end and I just know he's trying to understand why I would randomly call him and tell him this. I'm sure he's thinking of something to say.

"Well I do respect that you have a boyfriend Addie, but that doesn't mean I don't have feeling for you so I guess he's kind of right." Oh crap. This is not where I wanted this call to go. I had hoped I could get the opposite reaction and hear a Max confirming that we are just friends. This is exactly the opposite.

"But I thought we agreed to be just friends? I told you I didn't feel the same way about you. . ."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't stop me from liking you. I agreed to keep our relationship strictly friendship, but I haven't stopped wishing we could be more than that."

"But, you said. . ." I don't even know what he said. Have I been completely oblivious to all of this!? He had agreed to be my friend, and I had been stupid enough to think that his "feelings" for me would just go away.

I'm starting to figure out that this was a terrible idea to call him.

"I like you too much to ruin your relationship with Harry even though I know I could be better for you than him. It makes me crazy that you think he's good enough for you, when I know he's just going to hurt you." He says, laying all of his cards on the table.

"I'm sorry I called Max." I say quickly and hang up, wishing not to further this conversation.


"Shit!" I mutter and pull at my hair. I usually refrain from swearing, but it seems appropriate for my situation. I'm so frustrated that I've been completely oblivious to Max's true feelings, and that I tried to convince Harry that Max only like me as a friend. Even though I would never let Max pull anything, maybe this really is my fault.

In that moment, I decide I need to fix this and tell Harry I won't speak to Max again. I need Harry, and I can't lose him. I've been stupid to not take the time to see where Harry has been coming from in this argument, but I now realize that if our roles were reversed, I would be angry that he had a friend of the opposite gender that liked him. However, I am still angry with him. Regardless of the conditions, he had no reason to treat me like that.

After grabbing a jacket and a pair of boots from my closet and putting them on, I walk back downstairs and tell my dad I'm going to Harry's. For a second, I absorb the great feeling it is to just simply tell him I'm going there without having to make an excuse, but the feeling flees when I realize it may not matter if Harry doesn't take me back.

I knock on his front door and patiently wait for him to answer. "Hello Addie! It's nice to see you, but you're probably not here for me." Anne laughs.

"It's good to see you too, but yeah I was wondering if Harry was still here?" I ask.

"Actually you just missed him. I'm not quite sure where he went, probably one of the guys' houses."

"Okay, I'll try to call him. Thanks." I force a smile. I've already tried calling and texting him multiple times before I came over here.

"Hey Addie, I haven't given you a hug since Harry told me you two were finally dating." She smiles and I can't help but return the expression. She's so sweet that I often question how she could be Harry's mother. I wonder if his dad is anything like him?

"I'm glad he found someone like you. You've truly been a positive influence on his life, and as his mum I could never thank you enough." She says before hugging me.

I don't really know how to respond to that so I just nod and smile. However, it makes me realize that she's right: Harry has changed, and he wouldn't have chose to argue about Max again if he didn't have a valid reason. I shouldn't have been naïve enough to miss his honest concern, but now that I've picked up on it I have every intention to fix it.

"Come by for supper some time this week, it's nice having another girl around." She smiles upon releasing me from our embrace. "Hope you find him!"

"Thanks Anne, and I will." I promise and wave goodbye.

As I walk across the grass back go my house, I call Niall hoping he'll be with Harry. He's the only one of Harry's friends that I have a number for because he gave it to me after dropping me off after Eleanor's party.

"Addie Walker! What's up!" Niall yells over the phone. As obnoxious as it is, I'm just glad he answered.

"Hey Niall, I was just wondering if you were with Harry or you know where he is? He hasn't been answering my calls."

"Oh yeah, Haz is here with us."

"Okay," I take a second to exhale with relief. "Where exactly are you guys?"

"We're at Liam's, and Harry is actually walking up to me right now I think he wants to talk to you!" He says excitedly. I finally come to the conclusion that he's drunk. Classy, two in the afternoon on a Sunday and he's wasted.

I momentarily get excited that Harry wants to talk to me, but when I keep listening, I hear Niall and Harry's conversation that I do not think they intended for me to hear.

"You can invite her over if you want! We like her!" Niall slurs and I can hear the phone being passed.

"Hang up." Harry demands and my stomach drops.

"What! Why would I do that? I thought you wanted to talk to your girl?"

"No I want you to quit talking to her and hang the fucking phone up!" Harry tells him even more harshly. There's a few more muffled noises coming from the speaker of my phone before the line goes static. He hung up.


I can't even tell if I'm angry or sad, but I know that I'm not quitting until we fix this. I couldn't care less about the homework sitting in my backpack that's due tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I care about a guy more.

"Harry wasn't home?" My dad says when I get back home.

"No, but he wants me to meet him at his friends house. Can I take your car? He only lives a few minutes away." I ask.

"If you promise to be careful." He says and fishes the keys from his pocket.

"I will, thanks dad."

I take the keys from him and go straight to the car. I think I remember where Liam lives from the time Harry made us stop there so he could quickly grab something.

I drive carefully and soon realize I must've been right when Harry's car is parked outside of the house I guessed was Liam's. I pull the keys from the ignition after parking and march up to the door, not even bothering to knock when I see the door is open. I can already hear all of Harry's loud friends downstairs, so I follow their voices hoping it will lead me to him.

"Addie you came!" Danielle screeches and runs up to hug me. I really don't like that every time I'm around Harry's friends, they're drunk. Don't they have anything better to do?

"Yeah, hey is Harry down here?"

"Yes! He's over there but you should come hang out with the girls for a little!" She points over to the group of guys before pulling at my arm.

"I just need to talk to Harry real quick, I'll come over there when I'm done." I lie. I need all the time with Harry I can get to try to fix this mess.

"Promise?"

"Promise." I lie, but I don't feel too bad seeing she's incredibly drunk and will forget I promised this in five minutes.

She finally lets me go and I try to gather some confidence before I walk over to the guys. At first I see Niall, Louis and Liam, but when I continue walking, Harry and Zayn are seated at the couch against the wall.

"Hey you're here!" Niall springs from the couch and I nod. My eyes move to Harry who is totally oblivious to me standing just a few feet away from him.

Niall hugs me but Liam is quick to pull him off of me. "Sorry, he's had a few drinks." Liam laughs.

"It's okay."

"Actually I need to warn you that Harry is pretty drunk too. After you called he practically drank a whole bottle of bourbon. We tried to stop him, but you know how difficult he can be."

"Yeah, I do." I laugh. I know all too well. "I should go talk to him." I suggest and he nods. I'm glad Liam isn't drinking. He's always the sober one when I end up coming to these get togethers, and I appreciate it.

"Addie! What are you doing here?" Harry asks me. He's not angry, just confused. Its like the fight we had earlier hadn't even happened. I suppose the whiskey is taking it's effect.

"We need to talk." I say. Even though I don't like it when he's drunk, I can't deny that I actually don't mind it at the moment. If he's not angry, than I should be glad.

Notes

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