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Too Much

Chapter 29



Harry's POV

"What's your deal?" Louis asks with his usual amused grin on his face.

"Nothing." I snap and fall back onto the couch.

"Yeah, sure." He chuckles.

The problem is that Addie thinks she loves me, and I have no idea why. I haven't given her any reason to.

"Do you wanna beer?" Louis asks me and gets up from the chair. I nod my head before thinking.

"Actually no," I stop him. If I start drinking, I'll probably fuck everything up even more than I already have.

It's not that I meant to push Addie away, I just got... Nervous. She can't expect me be okay with this when we've only known each other for a month and a half.

Louis sits back down with a beer in his hand and takes a swig before looking at me. "Haz, I don't know what's your problem, but you better lighten up before we go to Niall's."

"What's going on at Niall's?" I ask.

"Just hanging out with the guys, all the girls are at El's."

"Oh." That is the last thing I want to do. I had to force myself to come here after I left Addie in the parking lot twenty minutes ago. Why am I such a dick?

I subconsciously pull at a loose thread in my torn jeans as Louis yells at the football game on the television. Of course, my fucking mind can't stop thinking of Addie, and that face she made when I told her I didn't want her to love me. I didn't mean it, but I really wanted to. I wish she didn't love me, because I don't want to hurt her and I know I will. I don't think she realizes that I'm no good for her, but I'm too selfish to convince her that because I want her for myself. I'm such a fucking hypocrite!

I tell her not to love me and I push her away, but the last thing I want in this world is for her to leave me. These last weeks have been a breath of fresh air compared to my previous life before I met her.

"Are you ready, mate?" Louis asks. I look at my phone to see I must've been sulking for a good twenty minutes.

"Uh, yeah." I get up and follow him out of his house.

"So what's Addie doing tonight?" Louis asks.

"Not sure, probably homework." I mutter. I consider telling Louis what she really probably doing, but he'll just make fun of me. I also don't think it's any of his business.

"So is she good in bed? I bet those lips of hers do wonders, am I right?" Louis smirks and I practically drive is off the road.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I seethe as my hands grip the steering wheel as tight as they possibly can, forcing my knuckles to turn white.

"Bloody hell, Haz, it was a joke."

"Well it wasn't a very funny one." I keep my eyes on the road and continue driving towards Niall's. I knew he was joking, but the thought of Louis thinking of my girlfriend like that makes me want to rip his brain out.

"Whatever you say, mate." Louis sneers. "You could call her and invite her over, I think we're going to meet up with the girls later."

"I'll text her." I lie. I know I should be trying to apologize to her right now, but I can't. I don't know what to tell her. As much of a douche I was, what I said was the truth. . . Well except for the part when I said I didn't want her to love me. I just said that so things would be easier.

We finally get to Niall's and I find myself sitting there in his kitchen staring at a picture of his mum and dad. Torturing myself, really. They're obviously in love, and they make it look so easy; but it's not. I'm not capable of it, that's for damn sure.

I think Lou had warned the other guys of my current mood because none of them have tried to talk to me. I appreciate it, but I also need to find a way to distract myself before I go crazy with all of this bullshit on my mind.


"I just called Eleanor, she said we could come over if we wanted to. They're all drinking." Louis snaps me from my thoughts. Earlier I thought it was best to stay sober for once and actually try to deal with my problems, but a bottle of rum sounds like it will help a lot better.

"Let's go." We all pile into mine and Liam's cars and head over to Eleanor's house. I just need one night to forget about my newly complicated life, and then I'll talk to Addie tomorrow... That is if she doesn't hate me by now.

"Sorry babe, we got bored at Niall's." Louis says to his girlfriend before sticking his tongue down her throat. I hope me and Addie never look like that... Well, you never will now that you fucked things up! My subconscious mocks me.

"It's okay, Lou." She replies and leads us all the the kitchen.

The first thing I notice is that dark brown hair that I know so well, and I have to do a double take to make sure I'm seeing properly. After I finally realize it's not a ghost, my mind and heart begin to race. What do I do? What should I say? Why the fuck is she even here?

Alicia whisper something in her ear after Addie breaks eye contact with me, leaving me even more confused. I sit down next to her and try to think of something to say to get her to forgive me.

"We were just getting started, who wants something to drink?" Eleanor asks us all now that we're gathered around the table in the kitchen. I quickly decide against that rum and coke that was calling my name earlier when I figure I may have a chance at getting Addie back.. Who by the way looks very pissed at me.

"I'll take one." Addie raises her red cup. What? I shoot her a look but she just snarls and looks away. She doesn't drink...

I attempt to get Addie in the other room mostly so we can work things out, but more importantly, to get her to stop drinking. It's like she's trying to kill herself! I've never seen a girl drink so much, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned.

When Addie pulls a bottle of Jack Daniels to her lips, I cringe watching her and grab the bottle from her hands.

"I think you've had enough." I try to contain my anger and set it in the middle of the table. I know she's just doing this to piss me off, and it's working.

"I think I'll be the judge of that." She glares and moves the grab the bottle back.

"Yeah Harry, I mean it's your fault she's drinking." Alicia snaps. I've never liked that girl.

"Woah, what have you done this time, Haz?" Louis pulls back from making out with Eleanor and asks me. Why does he have to be such a fucking instigator.

"He did nothing." Addie says without emotion, and for some reason, that makes it hurt even more than if she would have just called me out.

"Don't defend him Addie! He's an asshole!" Perrie says from the other side of the table, and I finally realize Addie must've told the girls how much of a dick I was before we got here.

I try to say something, but I'm conflicted between looking like a pussy and trying to her her to forgive me in front of everyone, or keeping my mouth shut and waiting until she's sober to talk to her.

"She's right. You only care about yourself, and it's annoying." Addie snaps at me making me furious. I don't only care about myself! Isn't that why we're in this fucking mess? Because I care about her too much to let her love me?

"Are you done trying to prove your point?" I seethe, earning questioning looks from the guys.

"What point! I'm not trying to do anything Harry! God knows I can't make you say or do anything you don't want to." She gets up from the table and begins to walk towards the hall, but she ends up tripping over her own feet.

"Easy," I grab her arm.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna puke, Harry." She says and only I can hear her. The rest of the group had already returned to their pointless banter in the kitchen.

"Come here," I pull her to the bathroom and force her to sit in front of the toilet while I gather her hair in my hands so it's out of her face.

"This is your fault." She glares at me before throwing up her lunch in the toilet. As disgusting as it is, I'm glad it's me here taking care of her and no one else. I know it's all my fault, but I will make her understand that I didn't mean to hurt her, somehow, some way.

"It's okay, Addie." I try to comfort her when a tear rolls from her eye. I'm sure she's just miserable right now since it's her first time being drunk.

"Harry," she whispers and leans back from the toilet. Hopefully she's done...

"Yeah?" I take a towel and wipe her face before sitting back against the bathtub.

"You're actually really sexy when you're being nice. Why can't you always be like this? I don't like it when you're mean to me." She says with a drunken giggle and I have to laugh. I suppose she's an honest drunk, and it's kind of cute.

"I don't try to be mean to you, baby. I'm sorry." I say before kissing the top of her head when she leans her back against my chest.

"Do you think that in another life you could love me?" She slurs before yawning.

My smile fades into a frown as I contemplate her question. I've been so wrapped up with her telling me she loved me, that I haven't even considered my feeling for her. I mean, I obviously have feelings for her.. I don't know how to describe them, probably because I've never felt this way about someone before, but they are stronger than I can express.

The best way I can describe it is like on a Sunday evening, when my mum makes supper and we sit down to eat together and talk about everything. It's so simple and relaxing, it's like I can just forget about everything going on in my fucked up life for a few hours.

That's how I feel when I'm with Addie. I feel happy being in her presence, no matter what we're doing. I look forward to seeing her everyday, and loathe the moment when I have to say goodbye to her at the end of the night when she can't stay over. I dread the days when she decided to hang out with Max and Alicia instead of me, and I can't stop thinking about her, constantly wondering if she's okay.

"Do you think that in another life you could love me?"

"I think I might love you in this one." I mutter, but I don't think she hears me.

Addie was lying weak and sick in my arms, depending on me to take care of her. In that moment I recognized that my feelings for her were a lot stronger than I thought. Sometime between the moment we met, and holding her on that bathroom floor, I had fallen in love with her.

I've never felt like this, and I don't even know how to explain it. It's far too overwhelming to think about it. When she said she loved me, I thought that was too much to grasp... But this? Actually loving her back? I don't know how to handle it. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. In fact, I've never loved anyone other than my family.



4 days later. . .

As I lay here, running my hand through Addie's long brown hair and she traces her finger tips over the tattoos on my chest, I beat myself up mentally for not telling her I loved her the moment I realized it.

I was such a dick trying to get her to stop loving me, even after I knew how she felt. After the night when she got drunk, I thought it would be easier to forget about loving each other, and so I tried to convince her that we should just go back to how things were before.

I loved her then, and that's why I don't understand why I did it. I shouldn't have acted like that, I shouldn't have pushed her away even further than I already had, but I guess it was all too much for me to handle.

These feelings are foreign to me. I don't know how to act, what to do or say, so my natural instinct was to push her away, but that only made my feelings grow for her.

"I love you, Addie." I tell her again as we lay quietly. I'm still trying to hold on to this moment, this perfect moment.

It feels so good to finally say it. Everything's out in the open now, and I don't have to hide.

"I love you too." She whispers before kissing my chest.



Notes

Thought I would give you Harry's perspective of all this :)

Thanks for all of your nice comments, I really appreciate them!! And keep rating/subscribing! <3

oh and if you were wondering. . .
I imagine Addie as Crystal Reed (Allison from Teen Wolf), Max as Brett Davern (Jake from Awkward), Alicia as Ashley Benson (Hanna from PLL) and Harry & the boys/their girlfriends as themselves obviously. :)

xx

Comments

Love this Story. Have read it 3-4 times now and I still Love it. :)

Lynn Lynn
3/18/18

sorry. sometimes i can replace these names with Tessa, Hardin, Landon, etc. I really liked your style but not too original.. x

Ekaterina Ekaterina
7/4/17

Hi, can i use this story please. Its really good

who the fuck is Blaire?

dukecrazie dukecrazie
9/11/16

Amazing story.
read it all in 1 day, guess you could say l'm a little bit addicted.
can't help it, it was too good :)
xx