I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on.
~Never Grow Up, Taylor Swift

Alessia

Alessia sat on the couch, with her arms around her knees, and her head resting on them. Her face is wet with fresh tears, while she stares at the screen. A small smile plays on her lips as the winner for the best pop/rock album is announced.

The four boys get up and do a group hug before walking towards the stage. Four boys. A sound like a sob and groan of frustration escapes her throat. She was doing all this to make him hate her. Couldn’t he just take the freaking hint, and get over her?

She turns of the television and lies down on her bed. She stares at the ceiling for a few moments before reaching for the drawer in the table beside her. Her fingers tremble as she pulls out her old phone. She carefully unlocks the phone, and sighs as the notifications pop up on the screen. The first five ones from ‘Dimples’.

Alessia takes a deep breath, before clicking on the first one. She hears him take a deep breath, and speak in a low voice, “Hi, it’s um...Harry,” she hears him laugh a short humorless laugh, “well if you remember, who I am. If not let me remind you,” Alessia sucks on air, “I’m Harry Styles, your boyfriend. The dumb arse who gave his heart to you, only to get it broken. The stupid guy who doesn’t know what he did wrong enough for his girlfriend to leave him. That guy who is begging for forgiveness, when you are wrong Alexis!”

Alessia flinches at his raised voice. He barely ever talked to her in that way. She hears him sigh deeply on the other end. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, hoarsely. Then clears his throat, “I--just some back, Angel. I need you.”

Alessia cringes at the honesty in in his words, “No you don’t. You can’t need me Haz.” she whispers, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

His voice is barely audible when he whispers the three words, she yearns for with every beat of her heart. “I love you.”

She lets out a sob. “Don’t baby, you can’t love me. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into. Already have. Don’t make this any more difficult than it already is. You cannot love me Harry.” She states firmly. Her eyes watering with tears, she shuts them tightly, then opens them again. “ You won’t.”

She clicks on another voicemail, then another. Until her mascara is running down her face, and instead of silent crying she is sobbing fully. “Jesus, Hazza,” she whispers softly, into the cold and dark room.

Alessia debates with herself for a few minutes, before finally clicking on one of the twitter notifications.

Her eyes sting with hot tears when she reads the first hate.

@MrsDirection

I knew it @Lexi_Tomlinson, just wanted the fame and money like any other bitch. Burn in hell, slut!! I’m sorry @Harry_Styles, but you’ll get any other wonderful girl.

Alessia had bought this on herself but it still hurt, when all the girls who had once wanted a picture with her, wanted her to die. If only they knew…

What catches her eyes is the tweet by Harry himself. And if possible her sobs get louder. Her heart wrenches in her chest, a deep pain spreads throughout her body. Stealing her breath away for a moment.

@Harry_Styles

I love all my fans, and I know you all love me too, so I would genuinely appreciate if all of you stop hating on @Lexi_Tomlinson. I am deeply obliged by your concerns for me, but you don’t know what happened between us. We broke up for a personal reason, and since you don't know what that reason was you have no right to bombard her with those awful comments. The way you all acknowledge my happiness, I hope you understand that those hate towards Lexi, sadden me, and I would be very grateful if you would stop that.

Alessia lets the phone drop on the bed and buries her face into her open palms. “This is exactly what I don’t want you to do, Harry.”

She is doing everything in her power to keep her away from him, at least for as long as she can. Which, she knows, won’t be too long, since she’d let Taylor trick her into doing something she shouldn’t have. But singing was one of her passions, and she couldn’t resist it after Taylor’s temptations.

Taylor had promised it would just be a recording session, later turning out to be the latest hit. Which Tay, definitely lied, was a leak. There aren’t many pictures of ‘Alessia’ on the web yet, but Alessia knows that won’t last long. The media would find out sooner or later, and these blond locks and blue eyes won’t keep them from finding out she really is--Alexis. The lads will find out one way or another. She can’t run away, forever. She desperately wishes she could.

Alessia switches off the phone once again in shoves it somewhere between the stacks of books in the drawer. She pulls her laptop over on her lap, and decides to start working on her new writing assignment, writing, she knows, will keep her occupied for a while. After a while she’s brought back to reality when her thoughts circle around the five wonderful lads who had become her family.

She pulls her new phone towards her, and dials the number she has memorized by heart. Without giving it a second thought she hits the call button, pressing the phone to her ear.

“Hello, Johannah Poulston here. May I know who’s on the other line?” Alessia takes a shaky breath, and hangs up.

The sound of her mum’s voice giving her a slight sense of calm, that was all she could do these days, desperate to hear her mums soothing voice. She’d call Johannah with different numbers once in a while. What she needed right now was cradling in her mum’s arms, and let Johannah play with her hair, as Lexi vented about how unfair life was, like she used to when she was in High School.

Her nerves calm down, at least for a while and she quickly finishes up the paper. She keeps the laptop back in place, and lays back down on the plush mattress.

Alessia plugs in her headphones and looks for the newest released songs. She scrolls through the list, until she finds a certain song that sounds vaguely familiar. The five boys’ picture pops up and the song starts play.

Alessia closes her eyes, and gasps when Liam starts, “been a lot of places, I've been all around the world. Seen a lot of faces, never knowing where I was.”

It was a few days before Lexi was leaving for France, she sat gloomily on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Harry sighed as his eyes fell on her, hate couldn’t even begin to describe what he felt like, when Lexi looked so sad.

He finished up the plate, he was making Lexi for breakfast. Then slowly walked towards her. Silently he placed the plate on her lap. Lexi jerked, and smiled sheepishly at him realizing she had been day dreaming.

Harry pointed to the plate resting on her lap. Alexis looked down in confusion, making Harry smile. Her face broke into a wide smile, as she stared down at the pancake. She looked back at Harry, with a somewhat teary expression.

“Smile for me please,” he whispered kneeling beside her so they were face to face. Lexi flashed him her smile, making Harry grin back as usual. She leaned over to press a kiss on his lips.

“I love you,” she murmured.

“Love you more,” Harry replied truthfully. He tucked Lexi’s loose hair behind her eyes, which fell over her eyes again. Harry huffed, earning a soft laugh out of Lexi.

“Sorry baby, but I gotta eat ya know?” Lexi said staring at the pancake sitting in front of her. Harry chuckled lightly, sitting on the other end of the couch, and watched her devour the pancake.

“I love you, Hazza. But babe you’re creeping me out right now,” she said looking sideways to face Harry’s green eyes.

“Why?” Harry asked, snapping out of his trance.

“Hmm…Harry normal people, ya know, don’t usually stare other people while the other person is eating,” Lexi pointed out taking another bite of her pancake.

Harry grinned realizing he had actually been staring at Lexi while she was ‘eating’. “Well who said I’m ‘normal people’” Harry says air quoting the two words.

“I knew it!” Lexi exclaimed playing along, “Holy shit! I’m in love with a vampire!”

Harry smiled when she said ‘in love with’. “Why do you think I am a vampire not a...an angel?” he asked quirking his eyebrows.

“Babe you’re too naughty to be an angel. And did you forget I am the angel here,” She pointed out, “And you’re a vampire ‘cause remember creepy Edward stares at Bella while she sleeps ‘cause he can’t sleep himself?”

“What does that have to with anything?”

“Well vampires, according to myths, can’t eat either. So maybe ya know you stare at people while they are eating,” Alexis shrugged nonchalantly.

Harry laughed at her reasoning. “Well, sweetheart, I ain’t no vampire,” Harry said leaning over to press a kiss on Lexi’s forehead.

“Sure?”

“100 percent.”

He was gonna miss her, too much. His eyes got watery at the thought, and he turned away to wipe his eyes before Lexi could notice the moisture. But Lexi knew him too well.

“Haz?”

“M-hmm?” he asked not looking at her.

She climbed onto his lap without another word and rested her head on his chest. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more,” Harry mumbled playing with Lexi’s hair.

“That is not true, You have the lads and the girls here. I do not,” Lexi replied snaking her arms around Harry’s waist.

“But I won’t have you,” Harry replied, softly.

The loud voices and stomping from the other side of the door was audible. The four lads and three girls walked in, but Lexi and Harry stayed in the same position,

“Is this about Lexi leaving?” Niall asked loudly, staring at both of them with his hands on his hips.

“Niall,do you have to remind me?” Lexi asked.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “but I got an idea for what we’re gonna do today,” he said his blue eyes lighting up. “But first Lex, I’m gonna need to eat the rest of that pancake,” Niall said pointing to the half-eaten plate.

Alexis shrugged, and Niall took that as the opportunity to gobble down the food. All of them expectantly looked at Niall as he finished up the plate, then turned around to face them.

“We are, all together,” he said making a point to point at Eleanor, Perrie and Danielle, “gonna write a song for Lex,” he declared.

Lexi’s gray eyes brightened, she blew a kiss at her little Irish leprechaun. “I love you Ni,” she grinned, “Best. Idea. Ever.”

Looking at Alexis’s enthusiasm no one could say no, so they all sat down. While the paper and pen rested on Harry’s lap.

“Don’t forget where you belong,” he murmured, softly.

All the heads snapped in his direction, he shrugged. “Lexi belongs here. With us,” he said unaffected by the attention.

“Living out of cases, packing up and taking off.,” Niall said, his hands brushing his chin as if in deep thought, “made a lot of changes, but not forgetting who I was.” Alexis got up and threw her arms around Niall.

“Y’all gonna make me cry now? Aren’t you?” she asked, blinking away her tears.

“On the horizon, I know, the sun will be rising,” El whispered smiling at her best friend.

“Lights off, when they should be on. Even the stars in the skies, they're wrong,”

“Jesus, Lou. I didn’t know you could be deep,” Lexi laughed, in an effort to push back the tears.

“Short days when the nights are long. When I think of the days I've done.”

“That’s my bad boy!” Zayn flashed her a smile.

“Don't matter how far I've gone, I'm always feeling right home.” Lexi buried her face in Harry’s chest and let her tears drench Harry’s shirt. Harry wrapped his left arm around her, and kissed his forehead. The he turned back to scribbling the beautiful lyrics, the eight of them had created.”

“The chorus doesn’t sound right,” Harry mumbled after the lyrics had been put together.

“If you ever feel alone, don't. You were never on your own,” Lexi mumbled against his chest.

“And the proof is in this song,” they both whispered together.

Niall clapped, before jumping off the couch and running into Lexi’s room, only to return with her old guitar, and the new one she had gotten a few days ago.

Niall carefully placed one of the guitars on Lexi's lap and sat on the other couch with the other guitar. After an hour of tinkering with the chords. Niall and Lexi created the perfect tune.

The nine of them had spent the rest of the day, going over the verses again and again. Alessia softly sings the song along with the other five. She plays the song on repeat, and let tears soak her pillow, like every other night.

Notes

Pretty long flash back up there, huh? I know I promised a double update today, well technically yesterday. But please spare me, I'll do another one tomorrow, if I can. 'Cause it's really late and I need to study for my test on Monday. Hopefully you guys will understand. If I don't do an update tomorrow, I'll definitely do one Monday. Please bear with me.

Anyway,

Do y'all still hate Lexi for leaving Harry? And think that the reason was 'stupid'? Or are you getting the hint that there's something else here?

Luv y'all
Stay Beautiful
xxx

And thank you Niall Horan for helping to write such a beautiful song. Definitely one of my favorites on the album.