Sad, Beautiful, Tragic |h.s|
Chapter 4
You're all I want
So much it's hurting
You're all I want
So much it's hurting
~Something Great, One Direction
Alessia
She did the most horrible thing in her life to make him stop loving her. She left the one thing that meant everything to her just to keep him safe. She prayed every night for him to hate her, for what she had done. But he wouldn’t, “Why?”
She mechanically stands up, and with a deep breath unlocks her phone. She still has the same home screen. Harry’s lips pressed against her cheek his green eyes twinkling with laughter and lo--
She closes her eyes and recollects her thoughts. Her hands hover over the ‘Uncle Simon’s’ name. She hadn’t talked to him yet, after the...incident.
Get yourself together! She lightly taps on the contact and places the phone on her ear. Her heart beat races even more with every ring. A part of her wishes he wouldn’t pick up the phone. But the selfish part wants to know whether Harry is safe or not.
“Le--ALESSIA!!” she cringes at the loud volume.
“Sim--”
“I’ll call you back later. Umm...we are at the police station. And I’m fine. Everybody else is fine too. Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll call you later.” Alessia listens to him confusion. Then slowly nods realizing that Simon was at the police station with the other lads. The other lads.
“Is Harry...fine? Did he get...injured?” Alessia asks swallowing a lump in her throat. Harry. Hurt? No please say no. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from running back into his arms. And end up…
“Yeah, yeah. Everybody’s fine.”
Alessia sighs and runs a hand through her hair.
“I--I’ll call you tonight?”
“Yes,” Simon answered sternly before hanging up.
The sun is already setting by the time, Alessia reaches Gray Whale Cove. She takes off her sandals and walks barefoot on the warm, snug sand. The place is almost secluded, two kids are playing by the water making sand castles. And their mothers sitting a few feet away. There’s couple splashing around in the water.
Her mind goes back to Barbados. And she forcefully shuts it away. Concentrating on the horizon instead, where she couldn’t find where the sky ended and land started. She stares hard until her eyes hurt and tears prick her eyes, not because of staring at the bright setting sun, but because all she sees is his face. She can picture the hurt in his eyes when he must have read the letter. The anger and sadness. She shuts her eyes tightly, then opens them again. Staring into nothingness, but her eyes are still clouded with him and only him. His jade eyes, his dimpled smile, his curly hair, his husky voice, her name on his lips.
Crying doesn't mean you’re weak. It just means you’ve been strong for too long.
She, finally lets it go, the tears she had been trying to hold back for so long. She wraps her arms around her knees and buries her face between them. Loud muffled sobs escape her lips. She cries for him, she cries for the hurt she is causing him, she cries for herself.
“What did I do?” She blinks her tears as she stares at the night sky. “Do I really deserve this?” Her whole world is crumbling down and she can’t do anything to stop it. Everything she has ever loved, is breaking and however much she wants to fix it she cannot. She won’t. Just for once in her life, she was going to think about others instead of her needs. Her need to cry into Harry’s chest, as his strong arms held her, assuring her that he would never let her go. Her need to hear Louis yelling at her for eating his carrots. Her need to just be with her family, without the fear of breaking them.
A soft laugh escapes her lips as she thinks back to just four months before. Life, couldn’t have been more perfect back then. Now it couldn’t be more of a wreck.
Her phone buzzes by her side. She picks it up silently, going through the missed calls and texts. She robotically get up and brushes off the dirt from her jeans.
Alessia/Marilyn
She pushes the dorm room open only to see Mary pacing around the room, with a phone placed under her ear. Alessia quietly slips under her covers, trying to go unnoticed. But Mary catches her, and looks at her with the most intimidating glare one could give another. Alessia cowers under the gaze, looking up at Marilyn’s furious brown eyes through her eyelashes.
“Where the fuck were you? You think just leaving like that with no freaking explanation is fine? Well just so you know Alessia May Cowell it is NOT! Do you fucking know how long I’ve been trying to call you? But you won’t pick up your god damned phone. You have no freaking idea how worried I was! If something had happened...God! Less you--” she stops abruptly seeing silent tears slipping from her eccentric blue eyes.Without thinking, she wraps an arm around her frail frame.
“I’m sorry, Less. You just scared the shit out of me. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. Jesus! I don’t even think before speaking when I get mad. I’m so sorry babe. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.” Marilyn rushes to explaining, slightly frightened by her friend’s reaction. Alessia seemed like a really strong girl, and seeing her break down like that…
“No, it’s n-not you,” Alessia sniffles, then looks up at her, a slight smile playing on her lips. “You just r-remind me s-so much of…” she trails off, a distant expression takes over her beautiful face, the same expression she had for the past four months.
Mary sighs, then tucks Alessia, who weighed very less according to her age, under the covers and whispers a ‘goodnight’ before turning off the lights, and crawls into her bed. Her mind spinning with thoughts of Alessia’s sudden breakdown, her familiar face, her feather-like weight, her sunken eyes, Mary warily rubs her temple, she couldn’t, wouldn’t lose another friend.
Alessia wakes up to a throbbing head. She buries her face in the tear-soaked pillow. And lets out a muffled scream as the throbbing increases, feeling like a million little pins being pricked in her forehead. She stands up, wobbly on her feet. And tries to walk towards the medicine cabinet, finally reaching there. She shoves two Tylenols in her mouth, and takes a large gulp of water. As the pain subsides, she lets her knees give away and slumps to the floor, her head between her knees. She rapidly blinks her eyes, when she hears the click of the door.
“Good, you’re up. You’ve got ten minutes to get dressed,” Mary says looking at Alessia who is now leaning against the table.
Alessia nods, and briskly walks towards the bathroom.Leaving Mary staring at her back in confusion.
Harry/Liam
“Harry please...just…” Liam says from the door, staring at Harry like he is an untamed animal, ready to start a fight.
“Would you kindly move your arse out of the room,” Harry says, resting his head on the headboard.
“Harry, I just want to talk, mate--”
“Talk,” Harry snaps.
“Mate, I know this is tough--”
“For Pete’s sake! Stop treating me like a psychopath. And don’t even start the ‘I know this is tough’ shit. What happened was an accident, get the fuck over it! I’m not a crazy bastard with a broken heart, who can’t control himself,” Harry’s voice cracks slightly, but he quickly recollects his thoughts. “No. I. Am. Not.” he says staring at the plain wall in sight. “Now would you leave, so I can finish up this,” he says without looking at Liam’s exhausted expression.
“Leave,” Harry repeats, forcefully.
Liam sighs, but gets off the bed and softly shuts the door behind him. He heads to his flat, where Dani is getting ready to leave for rehearsals. “Can you stay tonight?” Liam asks his light brown eyes sunken with exhaustion.
“I...Liam, I need to--” Danielle fumbles for words. The sight of Liam breaking her heart, but she can’t give up on her job, either.
“Yeah, whatever. Go.” Liam says calmly, but the anger behind his eyes, is evident to her and only her.
“Li--”
“Just leave, Danielle.”
With that she leaves, furiously blinking the tears, that will spill eventually.
Harry
Harry sits on the bed, Lexi’s old guitar resting on his lap. And a tear stained sheet of paper laying before him. For days he had moped about Lexi at his mum’s place, then he’d come back and wrote the first song. Since, then he’d been spilling every emotion he felt into writing, scribbling random thoughts, and then putting them together. His frustration, anger and pain all taken out on those words.
He rolls the pick in his fingers, for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath and plucking some chords. He takes another deep breath before trying the words on his lips, “I'm sorry , if I say, I need ya, But I don't care I'm not scared of love,” The words are barely a whisper at first. But his voice gets louder with the next line, “‘Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker, Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong?” This time his voice is strong and bold, “That you make me strong.”
“So baby, hold on, to my heart, ohh. Need you to keep me from falling apart, I'll always hold on. Cause you make me strong.” He smiles slightly at his accomplishment, before gently placing the guitar on the floor and laying back.
“‘Cause you make me strong.”
So much it's hurting
You're all I want
So much it's hurting
~Something Great, One Direction
Alessia
She did the most horrible thing in her life to make him stop loving her. She left the one thing that meant everything to her just to keep him safe. She prayed every night for him to hate her, for what she had done. But he wouldn’t, “Why?”
She mechanically stands up, and with a deep breath unlocks her phone. She still has the same home screen. Harry’s lips pressed against her cheek his green eyes twinkling with laughter and lo--
She closes her eyes and recollects her thoughts. Her hands hover over the ‘Uncle Simon’s’ name. She hadn’t talked to him yet, after the...incident.
Get yourself together! She lightly taps on the contact and places the phone on her ear. Her heart beat races even more with every ring. A part of her wishes he wouldn’t pick up the phone. But the selfish part wants to know whether Harry is safe or not.
“Le--ALESSIA!!” she cringes at the loud volume.
“Sim--”
“I’ll call you back later. Umm...we are at the police station. And I’m fine. Everybody else is fine too. Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll call you later.” Alessia listens to him confusion. Then slowly nods realizing that Simon was at the police station with the other lads. The other lads.
“Is Harry...fine? Did he get...injured?” Alessia asks swallowing a lump in her throat. Harry. Hurt? No please say no. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from running back into his arms. And end up…
“Yeah, yeah. Everybody’s fine.”
Alessia sighs and runs a hand through her hair.
“I--I’ll call you tonight?”
“Yes,” Simon answered sternly before hanging up.
The sun is already setting by the time, Alessia reaches Gray Whale Cove. She takes off her sandals and walks barefoot on the warm, snug sand. The place is almost secluded, two kids are playing by the water making sand castles. And their mothers sitting a few feet away. There’s couple splashing around in the water.
Her mind goes back to Barbados. And she forcefully shuts it away. Concentrating on the horizon instead, where she couldn’t find where the sky ended and land started. She stares hard until her eyes hurt and tears prick her eyes, not because of staring at the bright setting sun, but because all she sees is his face. She can picture the hurt in his eyes when he must have read the letter. The anger and sadness. She shuts her eyes tightly, then opens them again. Staring into nothingness, but her eyes are still clouded with him and only him. His jade eyes, his dimpled smile, his curly hair, his husky voice, her name on his lips.
Crying doesn't mean you’re weak. It just means you’ve been strong for too long.
She, finally lets it go, the tears she had been trying to hold back for so long. She wraps her arms around her knees and buries her face between them. Loud muffled sobs escape her lips. She cries for him, she cries for the hurt she is causing him, she cries for herself.
“What did I do?” She blinks her tears as she stares at the night sky. “Do I really deserve this?” Her whole world is crumbling down and she can’t do anything to stop it. Everything she has ever loved, is breaking and however much she wants to fix it she cannot. She won’t. Just for once in her life, she was going to think about others instead of her needs. Her need to cry into Harry’s chest, as his strong arms held her, assuring her that he would never let her go. Her need to hear Louis yelling at her for eating his carrots. Her need to just be with her family, without the fear of breaking them.
A soft laugh escapes her lips as she thinks back to just four months before. Life, couldn’t have been more perfect back then. Now it couldn’t be more of a wreck.
Her phone buzzes by her side. She picks it up silently, going through the missed calls and texts. She robotically get up and brushes off the dirt from her jeans.
Alessia/Marilyn
She pushes the dorm room open only to see Mary pacing around the room, with a phone placed under her ear. Alessia quietly slips under her covers, trying to go unnoticed. But Mary catches her, and looks at her with the most intimidating glare one could give another. Alessia cowers under the gaze, looking up at Marilyn’s furious brown eyes through her eyelashes.
“Where the fuck were you? You think just leaving like that with no freaking explanation is fine? Well just so you know Alessia May Cowell it is NOT! Do you fucking know how long I’ve been trying to call you? But you won’t pick up your god damned phone. You have no freaking idea how worried I was! If something had happened...God! Less you--” she stops abruptly seeing silent tears slipping from her eccentric blue eyes.Without thinking, she wraps an arm around her frail frame.
“I’m sorry, Less. You just scared the shit out of me. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. Jesus! I don’t even think before speaking when I get mad. I’m so sorry babe. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.” Marilyn rushes to explaining, slightly frightened by her friend’s reaction. Alessia seemed like a really strong girl, and seeing her break down like that…
“No, it’s n-not you,” Alessia sniffles, then looks up at her, a slight smile playing on her lips. “You just r-remind me s-so much of…” she trails off, a distant expression takes over her beautiful face, the same expression she had for the past four months.
Mary sighs, then tucks Alessia, who weighed very less according to her age, under the covers and whispers a ‘goodnight’ before turning off the lights, and crawls into her bed. Her mind spinning with thoughts of Alessia’s sudden breakdown, her familiar face, her feather-like weight, her sunken eyes, Mary warily rubs her temple, she couldn’t, wouldn’t lose another friend.
Alessia wakes up to a throbbing head. She buries her face in the tear-soaked pillow. And lets out a muffled scream as the throbbing increases, feeling like a million little pins being pricked in her forehead. She stands up, wobbly on her feet. And tries to walk towards the medicine cabinet, finally reaching there. She shoves two Tylenols in her mouth, and takes a large gulp of water. As the pain subsides, she lets her knees give away and slumps to the floor, her head between her knees. She rapidly blinks her eyes, when she hears the click of the door.
“Good, you’re up. You’ve got ten minutes to get dressed,” Mary says looking at Alessia who is now leaning against the table.
Alessia nods, and briskly walks towards the bathroom.Leaving Mary staring at her back in confusion.
Harry/Liam
“Harry please...just…” Liam says from the door, staring at Harry like he is an untamed animal, ready to start a fight.
“Would you kindly move your arse out of the room,” Harry says, resting his head on the headboard.
“Harry, I just want to talk, mate--”
“Talk,” Harry snaps.
“Mate, I know this is tough--”
“For Pete’s sake! Stop treating me like a psychopath. And don’t even start the ‘I know this is tough’ shit. What happened was an accident, get the fuck over it! I’m not a crazy bastard with a broken heart, who can’t control himself,” Harry’s voice cracks slightly, but he quickly recollects his thoughts. “No. I. Am. Not.” he says staring at the plain wall in sight. “Now would you leave, so I can finish up this,” he says without looking at Liam’s exhausted expression.
“Leave,” Harry repeats, forcefully.
Liam sighs, but gets off the bed and softly shuts the door behind him. He heads to his flat, where Dani is getting ready to leave for rehearsals. “Can you stay tonight?” Liam asks his light brown eyes sunken with exhaustion.
“I...Liam, I need to--” Danielle fumbles for words. The sight of Liam breaking her heart, but she can’t give up on her job, either.
“Yeah, whatever. Go.” Liam says calmly, but the anger behind his eyes, is evident to her and only her.
“Li--”
“Just leave, Danielle.”
With that she leaves, furiously blinking the tears, that will spill eventually.
Harry
Harry sits on the bed, Lexi’s old guitar resting on his lap. And a tear stained sheet of paper laying before him. For days he had moped about Lexi at his mum’s place, then he’d come back and wrote the first song. Since, then he’d been spilling every emotion he felt into writing, scribbling random thoughts, and then putting them together. His frustration, anger and pain all taken out on those words.
He rolls the pick in his fingers, for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath and plucking some chords. He takes another deep breath before trying the words on his lips, “I'm sorry , if I say, I need ya, But I don't care I'm not scared of love,” The words are barely a whisper at first. But his voice gets louder with the next line, “‘Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker, Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong?” This time his voice is strong and bold, “That you make me strong.”
“So baby, hold on, to my heart, ohh. Need you to keep me from falling apart, I'll always hold on. Cause you make me strong.” He smiles slightly at his accomplishment, before gently placing the guitar on the floor and laying back.
“‘Cause you make me strong.”
Notes
Sorry!! I know, I haven't updated in forever, but school sucks. Everyone agrees with that. And I was not gonna update today, because it's my birthday, yep I turned fourteen. But I had this chapter written and only had to update it, so you guys got a gift. lol. And Midnight Memories, just oh my god. Any favorite songs? Mine were You and I, Strong, Half a Heart, Happily... and I'll just stop, I loved all the songs. Y'all got any favorites?Anyway, for the story, lemme know all your wonderful thoughts! <3 because they matter a lot to me. Dont' forget to Comment, Vote, Subscribe.
Luv y'all!!
xxx
Hey love! I absolutely LOVE this story. First and sequel included! I've read this whole story in one day and now there is no update! I would love if you would add a chapter because this is amazing! Please, please continue! If people are telling you this story sucks, DON'T LISTEN! You have tons of fans who want to know what comes next. I understand if school is also a part of this, I've got school too. I'm willing to wait for this amazing story!!
11/19/20