Just a Fool

Harry spent the majority of his Sunday in bed. His body just felt exhausted, like he had ran three marathons back to back. His mom and sister left him alone for the most part, Gemma asked a few questions when he emerged from his bedroom to get food but he never answered. He knew what she was going to ask and he didn't want to talk about it. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about Abigail or how they broke up. The whole weekend he had to fight the urge to go over to her house, to explain himself and beg for her to take him back. He just wished he could feel nothing, his life was so much simpler when he didn't allow himself to care about anything.

On Monday morning he felt someone shaking his shoulder urging him to wake up. “Harry, you might want to wallow in self pity for the rest of your life but you still have to go to school.” Gemma sighed sitting beside him.

Mumbling a few words into his pillow he shuffled away from her. “Ok baby brother I'm not leaving this time, what is going on with you?” She asked taking the pillow away from him.

“Leave me alone, Gem,” Harry groaned.

“No, that's the last thing I'm going to do. Look at you, you look fucking miserable, this is not you Harry. What the hell is going on?”

Cursing under his breath Harry sat up. “Me and Abigail broke up.”

“And that's made you a hermit?”

Shaking his head he stood up. “Well you got your answer, now just drop it.”

“Harry, you're not getting rid of me that easily. This goes deeper than a break up, now start
talking. I know you love her so why end things?”

“Cause I had to...for her safety.”

“All right little brother I know you have this whole 'punk, rebel without a cause' look about you but let's face it you're a cupcake so how is breaking up with the only girl you've ever loved and making you both miserable better for her?”

“You don't get it.” He whispered running a hand through his hair.

“I would if you would help me, explain it to me.”

Sighing to himself he shook his head. “I can't,” He muttered. “I gotta get ready for school.”
Before his sister had a chance to answer he was already out of the room.

When he arrived at school he wished it was the first day back after Christmas break all over again. What his life was back then felt like a different lifetime but back then he didn't feel like he did now. Seeing his friends made him sigh in relief, if Liam had talk to them they knew not to push Harry today. “Hey man, how are you doing?” Louis asked after he slammed his car door.

“All right, can I bum a smoke? I haven't bought a new pack yet.” He explained.

Nodding once Louis passed him a cigarette. Leaning against Zayn's SUV he tried to concentrate on the story Niall kept going on and on about but his eyes were focused on the gymnasium doors. He knew at any moment the bell would ring and students would be making their way into the school. Blowing smoke into the chilly air he waited, he just wanted to get a glimpse of her. To see if she felt as horrible as he did. The minutes seemed to drag on and on, he had finished his first cigarette and moved onto another one when the bell finally rang. He watched every student pass by, whenever he saw blonde hair it felt like his heart would skip a beat but none of them were the girl he was looking for. “You see her yet?” Liam asked already knowing what Harry was doing.

“No,” He answered quickly, keeping his eyes on the doors.

Lifting the cigarette to his lips he stopped. He finally spotted two familiar faces, Kristin and Charlotte were walking side by side, their faces sad. Sighing he threw the rest of the cigarette to the ground. “She's not with them.”

“Maybe she's just running late,” Liam offered.

Nodding his head once Harry headed towards the school. He wasn't sure if he should try to talk to Kristin and Charlotte or if he should just avoid them all together. Abigail surely told them he broke up with her so they probably weren't his biggest fans at the moment. Ducking his head he went straight to his locker deciding it was best for now just to avoid them and hope Abigail made an appearance soon enough. The sooner he saw her he hoped the feeling of dread would leave. Even if she wasn't his anymore she was still a light to him, a piece of positivity and happiness he still clung to.

As the day went on he still didn't see Abigail. By the time lunch rolled around he was looking forward to Home Ec class, at least she would be around him. He was dreading how awkward class would be though. He was sure she hated him, she should hate him for what he said to her. 'I wonder if she would even sit by me or if she'll ask to switch. I'm sure Vanessa would jump at the chance.' Cringing at the thought he left his friends to head to the Home Ec room early.

Tapping his pen against the table he anxiously waited for his partner. With every girl that walked into the room his tapping grew faster. He was sure he was driving the other students insane but at the moment it was the only thing calming his nerves. Then the late bell rang, still no sign of Abigail. When Miss Brooks finally entered the room she ordered them to take notes from their books. As she took attendance everyone in the room was there, except for Abigail. “Any idea where she is?” She asked.

“She hasn't been here all day,” Someone answered.

Harry spent the rest of class watching the clock. With every passing minute his frustration grew and grew. Why wasn't she at school? He knew she would take the break up hard but he didn't expect her to miss school because of it. When the bell finally rang he wanted to skip the rest of the day. He was about to walk out of the front entrance when someone calling his name made him stop. Turning around he was surprised to see Kristin coming towards him. “You fucking asshole,” She hissed.

“Ok if you want to hit me go ahead, I wouldn't blame you,” He sighed lowering his head.

“You fucking promised you weren't going to hurt her and then you go and break her heart like that. What the hell is wrong with you?” She seethed. “Was all this a game to you? To get in
the good girl's pants and leave her just like her piece of shit ex...”

“Don't compare me to him,” He growled.

“Why shouldn't I? You hurt her just as bad as he did.”

“I didn't have a choice,” He mumbled. “Just...where is she? She hasn't been in school all day. I know what I did was fucked up but she wouldn't miss school because of it.”

“Well you're right there,” Kristin rolled her eyes. “Her grandfather died Harry. He died last night, she was at the hospital with him the whole day with her mom and dad.”

Shaking his head Harry ran a hand through his hair. “Have you talked to her?”

“Yeah, I did last night. Looks like you weren't the only one to break her heart this weekend,” She said before walking away. “She should be at her house by the way.” She told him without turning her head.

Without wasting another minute Harry went to his car. Even if she didn't want to see him she needed someone there for her. He just hoped she didn't turn him away when he got there.

Notes