Behind Closed Doors {Larry Stylinson}
Chapter 31
HARRY’S P.O.V.
Great. Louis is pissed at me and I can’t do anything about it from the jet. Really, I can’t do anything about it from anywhere. Louis hates Nick and nothing is going to change that. I just hope we can make it through this week without any major dramatic developments. Nick is a nice guy, he just really likes messing with Louis. Sure, I’ll admit he came onto me before he knew about our relationship, but since then, he’s been completely harmless. I suppose he just enjoys seeing Louis’ reaction to his idea of a joke. The funny thing about it is, they are so similar; especially in their humor. Louis just takes things personally and I sort of love that. He’s very protective of me and for me to be around a gay man automatically feels like a threat to him.
“Sir, can I get you something to drink?”
The flight attendant interrupts my thoughts and I blink a few times before meeting her gaze.
“Sure. Can I get a gin and tonic?”
“Right away, sir.”
I don’t understand why they pay a flight attendant to wait on me for such a short flight, especially on such a small jet where I can easily get things for myself. I’ve learned not to argue with it and simply let the poor girl do her job. I pull out this mornings newspaper and skim the articles, finding nothing that interests me. When the girl brings my drink back, I shuffle through my bag and find my journal. I start to doodle some nonsense before
I start to write.
*I can’t screw up. I can’t let my cravings take over. I can’t let Louis down. I can’t let myself down. I have to be strong. If I give in, it could ruin absolutely everything. I got lucky last time that Louis picked up the pieces, but I can’t expect him to just follow me around with a broom and dustpan. If I feel tempted in Milan, I have to remember Louis. That should be enough; I can call him. SOMETHING.*
I stop writing and re-read my affirmation about ten times. Repeating these words to myself, I close the leather book and place it back in my bag. I finish my drink and set it on the nearby glass table for the attendant to refill and rest my head on the back of the seat. Before I know it, I drift off into a light, uncomfortable sleep.
_________
“Sir, we’re about to land.”
My eyes flutter open and the young woman is standing in front of me.
“Oh okay. Erm. Thanks.”
I shake away the fogginess in my head, but I just feel grumpy. My neck hurts and I wish I was home with Louis. I cross my arms after ensuring that my seat belt is fastened and look out the window during our slow descent.
As soon as we land, I turn my phone off of airplane mode and notifications flood in. I ignore them all and grab
my bag, walking toward the stairs of the small jet plane. After exiting, a black car is waiting for me about twenty yards ahead and I toss my bag in before climbing in the back seat. Once the driver starts to pull away and head to wherever I am meant to go first, I look at my phone again. I dial Louis’ number and hold it to my ear as it rings.
“‘Ello.”
“Hey, Lou. I landed.”
“Good, I’m glad you’re safe. Did you like just land or have you been there a bit?”
“I just landed and got in the car. Haven’t even looked at my phone yet.”
“Ahh. In that case, I’m going to ask that you please refrain from hating me when you go on twitter.”
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. He can’t just let things go. He has to make some huge scene.
“Lou- what did you do?”
“Uhh. You’ll see.”
“Great.”
“I love you?”
“I’ll let you know my response after I see the mess you made.”
He chuckles nervously and I maintain my stern tone. I put the phone on speaker and start to open the twitter app.
“Harry, it’s not that bad. Really.”
“We’ll see. I’m checking it now.”
“Like right now?”
“Yep.”
I go to the search bar and start to type in Louis’ name. The first tweet on the list is exactly what he’s talking
about.
*@Louis_Tomlinson: It’s really great to have something everyone else wants*
“Louis!”
“What? It’s true!”
“Lou- it was rude when you said it to him years ago. It’s just a jab at the wound now. Nick doesn’t like me anymore and you’re just going to make him pissed off.”
“Harry! That’s not fair. He-“
“Louis, he didn’t do anything besides help me out by flying to Italy. You have no reason to be mad at him.”
“Yes, I do! He said some really rude things to me today!”
“Oh, really? Like what?”
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
Just as I suspected, Harry is taking Nick’s side and doesn’t even want to hear what he said. I can guarantee it; he’ll say he’s just joking and that I take things to seriously.
“Never mind, Harry. I know you won’t care.”
He takes a deep breath and waits a while before replying.
“Louis, I love you so much. I would give anything to leave this damned country and come home to you, but I can’t. It’s out of my control and we have to remember that it’s meant to help us be together in the long run.”
“I know, Harry. I’m just scared.”
“I am, too! I don’t want to be away from you. What if I do something stupid!”
“You won’t, Harry. I do trust you. I just don’t trust Nick.”
“I know, I know. It’s the same every time, but nothing ever happens. So, don’t worry, love. How about you start moving some of my things back over to your place?”
I’ve been begging him all week, but he hasn’t made a decision, even though he hasn’t left my place the entire time.
“You’re sure? We never finished talking about that.”
“Yeah, Lou, I’m sure. I want to be with you all the time. It’s not like we didn’t used to live together. I miss it more
than anything. Obviously, leave the furniture and stuff at mine, but take everything else to yours. It’ll give you something to do besides start shit online.”
We both chuckle and I sit up from the couch I’ve been napping on. The football match is over and now there are just men talking about the game. I press the power button and yawn loudly.
“Did you take a nap, too?”
“Yeah, you slept on the plane?”
“A bit. It was totally uncomfortable. I’m used to having you to lay on.”
“Aww, poor Hazz. Well, I wish I was with you. Watch out for Grimshaw.”
“Lou-“
“I’m kidding, babe.”
I wasn’t.
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you, baby. Text me when you’re all settled in.”
I hang up feeling at least a tad better about him being gone. At least he didn’t flip shit about my tweet; but, it didn’t change that Nick is on his way to spend a week on holiday with my boyfriend. I’ll never be comfortable with that. I don’t know how anyone expects me to be. I search my contacts and finally settle on calling Niall.
“Hey-o.”
“Hey, Ni. What are you up to today?”
“Nothin. Still in my Pj’s.”
“Me too. Do you want to hang out?”
“Sure! I’ll get dressed and head over.”
“Actually meet me at Harry’s.”
“Didn’t he leave today?”
“Yeah, but we’re gonna start moving his things back over here.”
“Awww. Okay! I’ll see you there in twenty.”
I hopped up and walked to my room to put on some sweats and a new T-shirt. I slip on a pair of van’s and fix a beanie on my head before grabbing my phone and keys and walking out the door. I unlock my car before I reach it, glancing around to make sure no one is about to mob me. I climb into my Porche and pull away toward Harry’s flat. Within a few minutes, I park and hop out as quickly as possible, avoiding any human contact. I unlock the door and walk into the half empty flat. He told me he destroyed things, but this is more than I expected. Half of the decor is gone, including pillows and one of the paintings. I sit on the couch and wait impatiently for Niall to arrive. This place brings back so many unforgettable memories. Mostly good, but one final devastating one.
I rest my elbows on my knees and look over into the kitchen. This is where I always watched Harry make breakfast after a long night. I move my gaze to the dining area and chuckle to myself as I remember the first time we had our mums over for dinner. It was a disaster of sorts, but we all had a good time. Then, the living room. This very couch is where Harry always slept when we got into an argument. That makes me laugh even more, seeing as it’s his flat. I always got the bed, though, whether he was in the wrong or not. Finally, I turn my attention to the open bedroom door. The bed is stripped of sheets or any other covers. It reminds me of so many things. I was with him when he got that bed. They delivered it and as soon as they left, we cuddled up and just fell asleep. After we tried to have sex for the first time, Harry and I were on a new level. I can’t count how many times we’ve made love on that mattress. I feel stinging tears reach my eyes as I remember my most recent memory of that bed. I don’t hate Cara now, but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to rip her apart. My chest hurts as I remember them sleeping when I walked in.
My painful thoughts are interrupted by a knock. I walk over to the door and wipe some of the moisture from my cheeks as I open it.
“Hey, Lou!”
Niall pulls me into a bear hug and when he steps back and closes the door, his expression grows concerned.
“Were you crying?”
“No.”
He looks at me until I tell the truth.
“Yes, a little. I was just thinking about things. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am. I’m excited that Harry’s going to live with me again. Thanks for coming.”
I try to change the subject a bit because he doesn’t look very convinced. I turn and walk into the dreaded bedroom, facing away from the bed. I walk into his closet and take out a large suitcase, opening it and laying it on the floor. I open his drawers and toss his clothes into the suitcase. I know if he were here, he would flip out at how messy I was being. I’m going to make it nice when I get home.
“So, what can I do?”
“Uhh, I guess get stuff from the other drawers.”
Niall walks over to the bedside tables and empties out the top drawers on one side of the bed quickly. It only has some papers and a couple books. He makes his way behind me to Harry’s side of the bed and as he starts to open the first drawer, my eyes shoot open as I remember what’s inside.
“Niall, don’t-“
It’s too late. He clasps his hand over his mouth and faces me, eyes shot open. I can’t help but to laugh as he backs away toward the window.
“God, Lou! You should have warned me!”
“Sorry, I forgot!”
Still giggling, I walk over with a smaller bag and empty the drawer full of lubricant, toys and one single camera.
Once it’s empty, I check the bottom one to make sure it’s safe.
“Okay, you’re good. I’ve got the unmentionables.”
He finally looks less terrified and lets out a small chuckle as he empties the last drawer, filled with more books and a few movies. I finish piling his clothes that are in drawers, filling the first suitcase to the brim. I close it and set the small bag of our sexual gear on top.
“If you wanna start in here, Niall, I’ll get his stuff from the bathroom.”
He nods and I point to another large suitcase, which he opens and starts placing hanging clothes in, almost as messily as I would have. I walk into the bathroom and begin gathering whatever is left over that he didn’t take to Italy with him. Once the bathroom is cleared out, I join Niall in the closet and within a half hour, Harry’s entire wardrobe is packed.
“Is that it?”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t even know what to get from the kitchen. We bought two of everything anyway, so he has stuff at my place to cook with.”
“Okay, I’m guessing we have to put some of this in my car since yours will only fit that disgusting bag of yours.”
I burst out in laughter once more and rest my hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but it’s all I need.”
I wink and he looks disgusted again.
“Come on, Lou. I don’t want to hear about that!”
“Sorry, you asked for it. Come on, let’s carry this stuff outside.”
Great. Louis is pissed at me and I can’t do anything about it from the jet. Really, I can’t do anything about it from anywhere. Louis hates Nick and nothing is going to change that. I just hope we can make it through this week without any major dramatic developments. Nick is a nice guy, he just really likes messing with Louis. Sure, I’ll admit he came onto me before he knew about our relationship, but since then, he’s been completely harmless. I suppose he just enjoys seeing Louis’ reaction to his idea of a joke. The funny thing about it is, they are so similar; especially in their humor. Louis just takes things personally and I sort of love that. He’s very protective of me and for me to be around a gay man automatically feels like a threat to him.
“Sir, can I get you something to drink?”
The flight attendant interrupts my thoughts and I blink a few times before meeting her gaze.
“Sure. Can I get a gin and tonic?”
“Right away, sir.”
I don’t understand why they pay a flight attendant to wait on me for such a short flight, especially on such a small jet where I can easily get things for myself. I’ve learned not to argue with it and simply let the poor girl do her job. I pull out this mornings newspaper and skim the articles, finding nothing that interests me. When the girl brings my drink back, I shuffle through my bag and find my journal. I start to doodle some nonsense before
I start to write.
*I can’t screw up. I can’t let my cravings take over. I can’t let Louis down. I can’t let myself down. I have to be strong. If I give in, it could ruin absolutely everything. I got lucky last time that Louis picked up the pieces, but I can’t expect him to just follow me around with a broom and dustpan. If I feel tempted in Milan, I have to remember Louis. That should be enough; I can call him. SOMETHING.*
I stop writing and re-read my affirmation about ten times. Repeating these words to myself, I close the leather book and place it back in my bag. I finish my drink and set it on the nearby glass table for the attendant to refill and rest my head on the back of the seat. Before I know it, I drift off into a light, uncomfortable sleep.
_________
“Sir, we’re about to land.”
My eyes flutter open and the young woman is standing in front of me.
“Oh okay. Erm. Thanks.”
I shake away the fogginess in my head, but I just feel grumpy. My neck hurts and I wish I was home with Louis. I cross my arms after ensuring that my seat belt is fastened and look out the window during our slow descent.
As soon as we land, I turn my phone off of airplane mode and notifications flood in. I ignore them all and grab
my bag, walking toward the stairs of the small jet plane. After exiting, a black car is waiting for me about twenty yards ahead and I toss my bag in before climbing in the back seat. Once the driver starts to pull away and head to wherever I am meant to go first, I look at my phone again. I dial Louis’ number and hold it to my ear as it rings.
“‘Ello.”
“Hey, Lou. I landed.”
“Good, I’m glad you’re safe. Did you like just land or have you been there a bit?”
“I just landed and got in the car. Haven’t even looked at my phone yet.”
“Ahh. In that case, I’m going to ask that you please refrain from hating me when you go on twitter.”
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. He can’t just let things go. He has to make some huge scene.
“Lou- what did you do?”
“Uhh. You’ll see.”
“Great.”
“I love you?”
“I’ll let you know my response after I see the mess you made.”
He chuckles nervously and I maintain my stern tone. I put the phone on speaker and start to open the twitter app.
“Harry, it’s not that bad. Really.”
“We’ll see. I’m checking it now.”
“Like right now?”
“Yep.”
I go to the search bar and start to type in Louis’ name. The first tweet on the list is exactly what he’s talking
about.
*@Louis_Tomlinson: It’s really great to have something everyone else wants*
“Louis!”
“What? It’s true!”
“Lou- it was rude when you said it to him years ago. It’s just a jab at the wound now. Nick doesn’t like me anymore and you’re just going to make him pissed off.”
“Harry! That’s not fair. He-“
“Louis, he didn’t do anything besides help me out by flying to Italy. You have no reason to be mad at him.”
“Yes, I do! He said some really rude things to me today!”
“Oh, really? Like what?”
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
Just as I suspected, Harry is taking Nick’s side and doesn’t even want to hear what he said. I can guarantee it; he’ll say he’s just joking and that I take things to seriously.
“Never mind, Harry. I know you won’t care.”
He takes a deep breath and waits a while before replying.
“Louis, I love you so much. I would give anything to leave this damned country and come home to you, but I can’t. It’s out of my control and we have to remember that it’s meant to help us be together in the long run.”
“I know, Harry. I’m just scared.”
“I am, too! I don’t want to be away from you. What if I do something stupid!”
“You won’t, Harry. I do trust you. I just don’t trust Nick.”
“I know, I know. It’s the same every time, but nothing ever happens. So, don’t worry, love. How about you start moving some of my things back over to your place?”
I’ve been begging him all week, but he hasn’t made a decision, even though he hasn’t left my place the entire time.
“You’re sure? We never finished talking about that.”
“Yeah, Lou, I’m sure. I want to be with you all the time. It’s not like we didn’t used to live together. I miss it more
than anything. Obviously, leave the furniture and stuff at mine, but take everything else to yours. It’ll give you something to do besides start shit online.”
We both chuckle and I sit up from the couch I’ve been napping on. The football match is over and now there are just men talking about the game. I press the power button and yawn loudly.
“Did you take a nap, too?”
“Yeah, you slept on the plane?”
“A bit. It was totally uncomfortable. I’m used to having you to lay on.”
“Aww, poor Hazz. Well, I wish I was with you. Watch out for Grimshaw.”
“Lou-“
“I’m kidding, babe.”
I wasn’t.
“Okay, I love you.”
“I love you, baby. Text me when you’re all settled in.”
I hang up feeling at least a tad better about him being gone. At least he didn’t flip shit about my tweet; but, it didn’t change that Nick is on his way to spend a week on holiday with my boyfriend. I’ll never be comfortable with that. I don’t know how anyone expects me to be. I search my contacts and finally settle on calling Niall.
“Hey-o.”
“Hey, Ni. What are you up to today?”
“Nothin. Still in my Pj’s.”
“Me too. Do you want to hang out?”
“Sure! I’ll get dressed and head over.”
“Actually meet me at Harry’s.”
“Didn’t he leave today?”
“Yeah, but we’re gonna start moving his things back over here.”
“Awww. Okay! I’ll see you there in twenty.”
I hopped up and walked to my room to put on some sweats and a new T-shirt. I slip on a pair of van’s and fix a beanie on my head before grabbing my phone and keys and walking out the door. I unlock my car before I reach it, glancing around to make sure no one is about to mob me. I climb into my Porche and pull away toward Harry’s flat. Within a few minutes, I park and hop out as quickly as possible, avoiding any human contact. I unlock the door and walk into the half empty flat. He told me he destroyed things, but this is more than I expected. Half of the decor is gone, including pillows and one of the paintings. I sit on the couch and wait impatiently for Niall to arrive. This place brings back so many unforgettable memories. Mostly good, but one final devastating one.
I rest my elbows on my knees and look over into the kitchen. This is where I always watched Harry make breakfast after a long night. I move my gaze to the dining area and chuckle to myself as I remember the first time we had our mums over for dinner. It was a disaster of sorts, but we all had a good time. Then, the living room. This very couch is where Harry always slept when we got into an argument. That makes me laugh even more, seeing as it’s his flat. I always got the bed, though, whether he was in the wrong or not. Finally, I turn my attention to the open bedroom door. The bed is stripped of sheets or any other covers. It reminds me of so many things. I was with him when he got that bed. They delivered it and as soon as they left, we cuddled up and just fell asleep. After we tried to have sex for the first time, Harry and I were on a new level. I can’t count how many times we’ve made love on that mattress. I feel stinging tears reach my eyes as I remember my most recent memory of that bed. I don’t hate Cara now, but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to rip her apart. My chest hurts as I remember them sleeping when I walked in.
My painful thoughts are interrupted by a knock. I walk over to the door and wipe some of the moisture from my cheeks as I open it.
“Hey, Lou!”
Niall pulls me into a bear hug and when he steps back and closes the door, his expression grows concerned.
“Were you crying?”
“No.”
He looks at me until I tell the truth.
“Yes, a little. I was just thinking about things. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am. I’m excited that Harry’s going to live with me again. Thanks for coming.”
I try to change the subject a bit because he doesn’t look very convinced. I turn and walk into the dreaded bedroom, facing away from the bed. I walk into his closet and take out a large suitcase, opening it and laying it on the floor. I open his drawers and toss his clothes into the suitcase. I know if he were here, he would flip out at how messy I was being. I’m going to make it nice when I get home.
“So, what can I do?”
“Uhh, I guess get stuff from the other drawers.”
Niall walks over to the bedside tables and empties out the top drawers on one side of the bed quickly. It only has some papers and a couple books. He makes his way behind me to Harry’s side of the bed and as he starts to open the first drawer, my eyes shoot open as I remember what’s inside.
“Niall, don’t-“
It’s too late. He clasps his hand over his mouth and faces me, eyes shot open. I can’t help but to laugh as he backs away toward the window.
“God, Lou! You should have warned me!”
“Sorry, I forgot!”
Still giggling, I walk over with a smaller bag and empty the drawer full of lubricant, toys and one single camera.
Once it’s empty, I check the bottom one to make sure it’s safe.
“Okay, you’re good. I’ve got the unmentionables.”
He finally looks less terrified and lets out a small chuckle as he empties the last drawer, filled with more books and a few movies. I finish piling his clothes that are in drawers, filling the first suitcase to the brim. I close it and set the small bag of our sexual gear on top.
“If you wanna start in here, Niall, I’ll get his stuff from the bathroom.”
He nods and I point to another large suitcase, which he opens and starts placing hanging clothes in, almost as messily as I would have. I walk into the bathroom and begin gathering whatever is left over that he didn’t take to Italy with him. Once the bathroom is cleared out, I join Niall in the closet and within a half hour, Harry’s entire wardrobe is packed.
“Is that it?”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t even know what to get from the kitchen. We bought two of everything anyway, so he has stuff at my place to cook with.”
“Okay, I’m guessing we have to put some of this in my car since yours will only fit that disgusting bag of yours.”
I burst out in laughter once more and rest my hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but it’s all I need.”
I wink and he looks disgusted again.
“Come on, Lou. I don’t want to hear about that!”
“Sorry, you asked for it. Come on, let’s carry this stuff outside.”
Notes
Hello all <3 I am soooo sorry that I've taken longer than expected to post this chapter!!! Between school and my family, I've been busy. But, I woke up early after a long night to write this, so I hope you liked it :* Thank you for your patience and lovely comments :)What do you think will happen? Is Harry right about Nick or is he just lying to himself? Does Louis have a reason to be worried? Are you excited that Harry's moving back in?
Ily guys! I should be back on my regular schedule of updates. xx
Love this
6/20/20