LOUIS’ P.O.V.

Before I know it, Harry is fast asleep on my chest. I watch his hair move a bit every time the fan circles. I feel relieved to have him here with me, but I can’t help but to worry about the plan to involve Modest. Jason has to be pulling his chain; or even worse, has something conniving up his sleeve. I would love to think differently of Jason, but he has constantly let us down, not only Harry and I, but all of the boys.

I wish things could be different. I wish I could go into an interview without practicing answers to simple questions, knowing that I can’t be honest. When a person asks, ‘Are you and Harry in a relationship?’, I want nothing more than to calmly reply, ‘Yes, we’re very happy together’. Why can’t it be that way? I’d like to say that I would take back the past three years of my life to be with Harry, and maybe it’s true, but I don’t think we’d be so in love if it weren’t for the things we’ve been through. While Jason tries to keep us apart, he’s really just pushing us closer together. I remember the beginning and how we thought about calling it quits, but instead we stood up for the one thing we had faith in: our love.

Now isn’t any different. I need to have faith in Harry’s love for me. He wouldn’t be here, in my bed right now, if he didn’t love me. It’s not like I’m perfect. I’ve messed up plenty of times and Harry never thought twice about forgiving me. Sure, he kept me on my toes, but I always knew it would be alright. Of course, I’ve never hurt him the same way he’s hurt me, but it’s definitely been more frequent. That’s why this has been such a surprise to me. Harry’s been a saint this whole time, trying to fix me over and over. It’s my turn to return the favor.


Flashback to just before Chapter 1:


“Oh, god. Louis!!!”

The moans escaping Harry’s mouth are so sexy. His skin glistens from the moonlight entering
our hotel room as he lays facedown in the sheets. I bury myself in him over and over, sweat dripping down my hairline and onto his bare back. I pause deep inside him, adjusting my body so that my chest is pressed into his back. As I thrust, our bodies slip against each other easily. I grip his hair in my free hand and with my other arm trembling to hold me up, I twist his head so I can kiss him. I press my lips into his roughly, taking in the taste of his tongue. He groans loudly as I repeatedly hit his prostate, the vibrating ring around my member hitting him each time.

“Come for me, Hazz.”

Knowing that I have this power over his body is so erotic and makes me feel accomplished. I hold around his chest tightly and turn our bodies so that we are both on our sides and push myself into him completely as I reach around and hold onto his hard tool. I hold myself there and begin to pump him in my hand until he yells loudly and spills over onto my fingers and the bed. After giving him enough time to recover, I pull out and lay on my back as he sits up and crawls between my legs. He quickly turns the ring off and carefully slides it up my length, letting it sit on the bed behind him as he smiles at me and ensures that he holds my gaze. He takes me in his mouth and my eyes shut instantly as I claw at the sheets. I’ve been close for a while, the ring holding me over while I finished Harry. So, I know I won’t last another minute. I lift my hips off of the bed as I grit my teeth and prepare for the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life. Harry moans against me as he fondles my balls in his hand and I come undone without warning, although he had to know I was close. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking up every last bit of my cum and swallowing it. Finally, he collapses next to me and we lay panting in our sweat, not minding one bit.

Eleanor is on her way and I’m honestly really upset about it. It’s not because I don’t want to see her; I just don’t want to have to leave Harry. This has been the first place in a while that we got a private hotel room and weren’t stuck on the bus and I don’t want to waste any time ‘out on the town with my girlfriend’.

“Harry, I love you.”

He looks up and grins at me and his dimples make my heart melt.

“I love you more, Lou. You have no idea.”

“You know. Less than a year and we should be able to come out.”

His smile fades a little and I start to regret bringing it up. I know that deep down he’s ready, but something still scares him. He comes off as cocky and carefree, but he’s very insecure and he’ll be crushed if we don’t get full support... which we won’t. I consider changing the subject, but we really do need to talk about it. He still hasn’t said anything and he rolls over to get his briefs, pulling them on and standing up next to the bed.

“Harry...”

“Louis, please I don’t want to have this discussion right now.”

“I just-“

“Just drop it, okay?”

He never snaps at me like that and it takes me by surprise. He sits at the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. I can’t see his expression, but I can hear him sniffle and I can tell he’s starting to cry. I sit up and crawl to his side of the bed. I place my legs on either side of his hips, holding him close to me and resting my chin on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. Please don’t cry.”

“I’m just scared, Lou.”

I just don’t understand what he’s scared of. We’re lucky, to be honest; so many people worry about coming out because they have no one to support them. We already have so much support from our families and friends. Of course, there are a few who still don’t know, but we already have a lot of people who love us for who we are.

“What are you scared of, Harry?”

He pushes my arms away in frustration and walks over to the window, leaving me on the bed. I reach behind me and find my boxers under a pillow, pulling them on and standing up to follow him. He pushes away my hands as I try to hold him and I finally give up, leaning against the wall.

“You just don’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t! Harry, what does it all matter if we have each other? We can finally have
the relationship we’ve been wanting for so long!”

He whips around to face me, tears still in his eyes.

“What does it matter? It matters a great deal! There are so many people watching our every move. Our relationship will be plastered on every magazine for months! People will go insane. I don’t know about you, but that’s NOT the relationship I’ve been wanting for so long.”

“Of course it isn’t, but I do want people to know about us. I’m so proud to call you mine, but I
can’t even really do that.”

“That’s not what it’s all about, Louis! Think about the people who will react badly. My own dad doesn’t even know! Who knows what he’ll think!”

“Harry, he loves you so much! That won’t change based on your sexuality!”

“No, but he’ll look at me differently-“

“If he does, then he doesn’t deserve to have you as a son!”

“But, that’s just it, Louis! I am his son! He’s my dad! Of course I care about how he thinks of me!”

I don’t want to argue with him anymore. I can’t go back and forth in an argument that is never-ending. I just can’t fathom wanting to keep our relationship a secret.

“I feel like you’re embarrassed by me, Harry.”

I’ve never admitted that to him before and I’m nervous about his reaction, but it’s something that crosses my mind every day. Every time he tries to hide us from someone, it pains my heart, even though it’s for the sake of publicity. Instead of comforting me, or telling me I’m wrong, he scoffs and walks away. The only worse reaction I could have gotten would be if he told me I was right. Normally, I would push the subject further. I’d follow him and persist until it was all resolved, but right now, I just want to get out of here.

“I’m going to ride over to get Eleanor. I’ll talk to you later, I guess.”

I pick up my pants and t-shirt from the floor, walking out of the bedroom to change in the living area. When I close the door and start to put my clothes on, I half expect him to chase after me, but he doesn’t. I slip on my shoes and grab my cell phone as I leave the suite, calling the driver as I wait for the elevator.

_________________________________________


“So, you just left?”

I sit across from Eleanor in the empty restaurant, taking a sip of my mojito. We drove straight here from the airport and we’re about a two minute walk from the hotel. I’m just not ready to go back yet and not too many places are open this time of night.

“Yeah, what else was I supposed to do. I was just sick of arguing with him.”

She shakes her head and picks at the remainder of her food.

“Don’t look so disappointed in me, El. I didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”

“I know, Louis. You just need to try really hard to understand where he’s coming from. You don’t have a relationship with your dad, so you could care less what he thinks. And you know that’s only part of it.”

“I know, I know.”

She’s right. I should be more understanding, but I feel like I don’t make him happy enough. The waitress returns and I pay for our food so we can leave. I still don’t want to face Harry, so I’ll probably just sleep on the couch in Eleanor’s suite. Once we exit the restaurant, we start to walk toward the hotel. As soon as we leave the doors, camera’s flash and we’re surrounded by the paparazzi. I grab Eleanor’s hand for the pictures and force a smile, trying to make it believable. Questions and comments are all I can hear and I try to push through the crowd.

“Louis! Are you secretly dating Harry?”

Someone always asks that. They want to get a reaction out of me. A flinch, a grin, a nod; anything. Suddenly, I get an idea and before I change my mind, I have Eleanor pinned to the wall and my lips are pressed to hers. I slip my tongue between her parted lips and wrap my arms around her waist. I feel her pinch my side lightly and I know I’ll get shit for this later. After at least a minute, I resurface, smiling at the cameras as I pull Eleanor behind me and we disappear around the corner. She keeps her composure until we make our way to the hotel and inside the lift.

“What the fuck was that, Louis?”

I grin deviously and look at her, but her face is full of anger.

“I just... I want to see how he’ll react!”

“Louis Tomlinson. You have got to be joking. You’re trying to make him jealous?”

“Not directly. Sure, that comes with the territory, but I just want him to realize he doesn’t want to lose me.”

“God, Lou. You’re a bloody idiot.”

She’s right. I’m already regretting my decision. He’s going to be so angry. Unless he doesn’t
care. I don’t really know which is worse.

“I know, El...”

“You better believe you aren’t sleeping in my room tonight. You’re going to fix things with Harry. NOW.”

She swats my shoulder and the doors open, revealing the empty hallway. She walks to the left without a word and I turn to the right, slowly approaching me and Harry’s suite. I stand in front of the door for a while before opening it quietly. The lights are all off and the door to the bedroom is still closed. I take my shoes off and open the door slowly, walking in and taking off my shirt. Harry doesn’t budge and his body is perfectly still as he sleeps in the middle of the bed. I take off my pants, leaving me in just my boxers and I climb into the bed on my usual side. I carefully roll him over a little, scooting in and spooning him. His eyes stay closed, but he moves to get comfortable against me and mutters almost inaudibly.

“Sorry, Lou.”

I kiss the back of his head and whisper softly.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

I’m really dreading tomorrow’s tabloids.

Back to present day:

I felt like such an asshole for what I did, but I knew Harry would forgive me and he did. The very next day. That was only a little over a month ago and I can still remember the look on Harry’s face when he saw the picture of Eleanor and I. I felt like such shit when I saw his reaction and I know he felt the same way after everything he did to me. It doesn’t completely compare, but when it comes down to it, I’m just glad to be watching him sleep in my arms. He’s obviously started to overcome his fears by involving management so he can see me more. He even mentioned living together again. Maybe these trials have helped him to realize what is most important to him. That’s all I can hope for. I just wonder how exactly Jason intends to help us. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Now, all I can think of is finally getting some peaceful sleep, since I know Harry is safe and exactly where he belongs. With me.

Notes

Hello <3 SO sorry if there are any typos and stuff. It's like 3 am, so I'm a bit tired... Anyway! I started writing a new Niall fic, so please check it out if you think you'd be interested ;) I'm pretty excited about it!!! But, don't worry, it won't take away from me writing my other stories. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! Means the world to me. xx

What do you think Jason's got planned? Do you think Louis will continue to look at the situation so positively? Let me know what you thought about the mature parts, too... I know they were a bit more graphic than usual, so I'd love feedback. But, YAY Larry is back <3 hehe