Behind Closed Doors {Larry Stylinson}
Chapter 17
HARRY’S P.O.V.
My eyes shoot open when I hear the door open, the light flooding in making my head pound and eyes close involuntarily. I can’t see who’s standing in the doorway and turn my head to the side to let my eyes adjust to the brightness. Cara is there. In my bed. The last thing I remember is coming home and her being here because Modest told her to be. I was crying and we drank and then I fell asleep. Right?
“What the fuck, Harry?”
It’s Louis in the doorway. My brain is foggy and I can’t get words out. What is even going on? Cara jumps at his yelling and she sits up quickly, pulling the sheets over her body. Her naked body. What the fuck did I do last night?
“Lou?”
“I can’t even fucking believe you. Last night and then THIS? What the hell is wrong with you?”
My head is spinning. I am so confused. What the hell did I do?
“I- I don’t even know what happened. Cara was just-“
“I think I should go.”
Louis points at her and yells again.
“You stay right where you fucking are.”
She looks terrified but complies, sitting there silently, awaiting his next instruction.
“Cara, what happened last night? Since Harry apparently doesn’t remember.”
He rolls his eyes at me and places his hands on his hips, waiting for her explanation.
“I- Well, he got back late and was crying. Like, really crying. I was pretty drunk from the club
before, but we started drinking and… kept drinking. We were so wasted-“
No, please. God, no.
“Get on with the fucking story.”
Louis is getting impatient and obviously doesn’t want details. I don’t either. I cringe to think about
what could have possibly happened.
“Um, we were just talking and I don’t know-“
Shit. No, I couldn’t have. My lack of clothing begs to differ, but there is no way I did that.
“...it was my fault, honestly. He tried to push me away but something took over and I just kissed
him. I don’t remember everything, but we obviously...“
She trailed off and looked down at her bare body and then over to mine. She was on the verge of tears, but I beat her to it. I cover my face to hide in shame. I can’t believe I did that. Why would I mix cocaine and alcohol in the first place? Oh, yeah; because I practically raped the love of my life and still hate myself for it. Now, I’ve fucked it up even more. When I pull my hands down, Louis is standing there, jaw opened in shock. He’s speechless and frankly I am too. I wish Cara was.
“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I couldn’t help myself. It was so stu-“
“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?”
Louis finally snaps, yelling ten times louder than before. She shrinks back in fear and starts to slip out of the sheets, glancing at him to see if he would let her leave. He shrugs her off and plops onto the edge of the bed as she slips on the dress she wore last night and leaves the apartment without saying another word. When she’s gone, he doesn’t look at me. He looks sad, angry, shocked, hurt: all of the things I could never dream of causing him to be. And I did. It’s all my fault, despite what Cara says. Who cares who initiated it; I should have stopped it.
“Louis-“
“Don’t talk.”
“I’m sor-“
“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?”
His red, blood-shot eyes glare at me, full of pain and heartbreak, as he roars at me loudly. I shut my mouth quickly, not wanting to anger him more. He stares out my window in silence for a while before speaking calmly.
“Harry, I don’t know what happened to you these past few weeks, but you are not yourself. I don’t
even know what to say. You have betrayed me in two of the worst ways possible. To think that you hurt me the way you did physically and then came here and decided to push it further-“
He can’t utter more words and tears start to flow from his eyes. I sit up and scoot toward him, sheets still covering me. I put my arms out to pull him close to me, but he stands up quickly, slapping me across the face out of nowhere. I did not expect that, but I sure as hell deserved it. My hand immediately finds my cheek and rubs it to soothe the red mark I know is there.
“You have completely broken my trust. We’ve both done a lot of stupid shit in the past three years, but that’s just it, Harry. Three fucking years and now I feel like I don’t know you. You aren’t the man I fell in love with. I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to him, but he’s obviously gone-“
I can tell he wants to say more but he covers his mouth with his palm and silently lets tears fall from his eyes. I instinctively move closer to him, wanting to comfort him in any way possible, but he backs away toward the door.
“Don’t follow me, Harry. I need to think.”
He stopped in the doorway, hand resting on the doorknob, and looked at me once more.
“I don’t think I can ever look at you the same. You’ve broken my heart.”
He leaves and shuts the door behind him. I start to get up and chase after him, but I know he is
too angry to convince of my sorrow. I sit back down and cry silently to myself. My body starts to shake and I feel so angry at myself. I bang my fists against the headboard of my bed, yelling loudly, trying to relieve a portion of my fury. I wear myself out after punching the wood repeatedly until I collapse back onto my bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
As I storm out of Harry’s flat, I can’t decide which feeling is more powerful; pain or anger. I know
that the last 12 hours would have never happened had Harry been in his right mind. Something is going on with him and I’m not so sure what. He didn’t seem drunk at my apartment, but something was definitely off. Despite everything, he still cheated on me. I can’t make excuses for him. I walk over to the car that is waiting for me on the curb. I get into the backseat with Eleanor and the driver starts to pull back onto the road.
“Just go back to my place.”
I stare out the window, trying to avoid talking to Eleanor about what just happened.
“Lou, are you alright?”
“No.”
My face contorts into sadness once again and I start to cry. Eleanor scoots over to the middle seat and wraps her arms around me comfortingly.
“Talk to me, Louis. It’s okay.”
“He cheated on me.”
I can’t get much more out between sobs so I don’t even try.
“With Cara? I saw her leave in tears.”
I nod instead of answering aloud. I just want to get home and go to sleep. Try to, at least. I’m so glad Eleanor is with me. She’s been with us through it all so she’s really the only person that can help. The guys are great, but I don’t want to bother them with relationship issues. Our being together already puts them in terrible situations all the time. When the driver pulls up to my flat, we exit the car and hurry to the door. Once inside, I collapse on the couch and pull a nearby pillow to
my chest.
“I’m going to make you something to eat, alright?”
I don’t say anything so she walks into the kitchen and searches for food. I decide to go change into something comfortable and sulk all the way to my room. I walk over to the dresser and open the drawer, pulling out sweats. As I close the drawer, I notice something small on the ground, partially under the dresser. I lean down and pick up the tiny plastic bag and examine it. It’s halfway full with white powder. I open the bag and smell a faint scent that I can’t put my finger on, but I can take a guess at what it is. And who’s it is. Everything starts to piece together in my mind and I fall from my crouch onto the floor, sitting in shocked silence. My whole world has fallen apart in a matter of a day. I try to stay angry, but now I’m more worried about Harry than anything else.
My eyes shoot open when I hear the door open, the light flooding in making my head pound and eyes close involuntarily. I can’t see who’s standing in the doorway and turn my head to the side to let my eyes adjust to the brightness. Cara is there. In my bed. The last thing I remember is coming home and her being here because Modest told her to be. I was crying and we drank and then I fell asleep. Right?
“What the fuck, Harry?”
It’s Louis in the doorway. My brain is foggy and I can’t get words out. What is even going on? Cara jumps at his yelling and she sits up quickly, pulling the sheets over her body. Her naked body. What the fuck did I do last night?
“Lou?”
“I can’t even fucking believe you. Last night and then THIS? What the hell is wrong with you?”
My head is spinning. I am so confused. What the hell did I do?
“I- I don’t even know what happened. Cara was just-“
“I think I should go.”
Louis points at her and yells again.
“You stay right where you fucking are.”
She looks terrified but complies, sitting there silently, awaiting his next instruction.
“Cara, what happened last night? Since Harry apparently doesn’t remember.”
He rolls his eyes at me and places his hands on his hips, waiting for her explanation.
“I- Well, he got back late and was crying. Like, really crying. I was pretty drunk from the club
before, but we started drinking and… kept drinking. We were so wasted-“
No, please. God, no.
“Get on with the fucking story.”
Louis is getting impatient and obviously doesn’t want details. I don’t either. I cringe to think about
what could have possibly happened.
“Um, we were just talking and I don’t know-“
Shit. No, I couldn’t have. My lack of clothing begs to differ, but there is no way I did that.
“...it was my fault, honestly. He tried to push me away but something took over and I just kissed
him. I don’t remember everything, but we obviously...“
She trailed off and looked down at her bare body and then over to mine. She was on the verge of tears, but I beat her to it. I cover my face to hide in shame. I can’t believe I did that. Why would I mix cocaine and alcohol in the first place? Oh, yeah; because I practically raped the love of my life and still hate myself for it. Now, I’ve fucked it up even more. When I pull my hands down, Louis is standing there, jaw opened in shock. He’s speechless and frankly I am too. I wish Cara was.
“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I couldn’t help myself. It was so stu-“
“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?”
Louis finally snaps, yelling ten times louder than before. She shrinks back in fear and starts to slip out of the sheets, glancing at him to see if he would let her leave. He shrugs her off and plops onto the edge of the bed as she slips on the dress she wore last night and leaves the apartment without saying another word. When she’s gone, he doesn’t look at me. He looks sad, angry, shocked, hurt: all of the things I could never dream of causing him to be. And I did. It’s all my fault, despite what Cara says. Who cares who initiated it; I should have stopped it.
“Louis-“
“Don’t talk.”
“I’m sor-“
“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?”
His red, blood-shot eyes glare at me, full of pain and heartbreak, as he roars at me loudly. I shut my mouth quickly, not wanting to anger him more. He stares out my window in silence for a while before speaking calmly.
“Harry, I don’t know what happened to you these past few weeks, but you are not yourself. I don’t
even know what to say. You have betrayed me in two of the worst ways possible. To think that you hurt me the way you did physically and then came here and decided to push it further-“
He can’t utter more words and tears start to flow from his eyes. I sit up and scoot toward him, sheets still covering me. I put my arms out to pull him close to me, but he stands up quickly, slapping me across the face out of nowhere. I did not expect that, but I sure as hell deserved it. My hand immediately finds my cheek and rubs it to soothe the red mark I know is there.
“You have completely broken my trust. We’ve both done a lot of stupid shit in the past three years, but that’s just it, Harry. Three fucking years and now I feel like I don’t know you. You aren’t the man I fell in love with. I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to him, but he’s obviously gone-“
I can tell he wants to say more but he covers his mouth with his palm and silently lets tears fall from his eyes. I instinctively move closer to him, wanting to comfort him in any way possible, but he backs away toward the door.
“Don’t follow me, Harry. I need to think.”
He stopped in the doorway, hand resting on the doorknob, and looked at me once more.
“I don’t think I can ever look at you the same. You’ve broken my heart.”
He leaves and shuts the door behind him. I start to get up and chase after him, but I know he is
too angry to convince of my sorrow. I sit back down and cry silently to myself. My body starts to shake and I feel so angry at myself. I bang my fists against the headboard of my bed, yelling loudly, trying to relieve a portion of my fury. I wear myself out after punching the wood repeatedly until I collapse back onto my bed, sobbing uncontrollably.
LOUIS’ P.O.V.
As I storm out of Harry’s flat, I can’t decide which feeling is more powerful; pain or anger. I know
that the last 12 hours would have never happened had Harry been in his right mind. Something is going on with him and I’m not so sure what. He didn’t seem drunk at my apartment, but something was definitely off. Despite everything, he still cheated on me. I can’t make excuses for him. I walk over to the car that is waiting for me on the curb. I get into the backseat with Eleanor and the driver starts to pull back onto the road.
“Just go back to my place.”
I stare out the window, trying to avoid talking to Eleanor about what just happened.
“Lou, are you alright?”
“No.”
My face contorts into sadness once again and I start to cry. Eleanor scoots over to the middle seat and wraps her arms around me comfortingly.
“Talk to me, Louis. It’s okay.”
“He cheated on me.”
I can’t get much more out between sobs so I don’t even try.
“With Cara? I saw her leave in tears.”
I nod instead of answering aloud. I just want to get home and go to sleep. Try to, at least. I’m so glad Eleanor is with me. She’s been with us through it all so she’s really the only person that can help. The guys are great, but I don’t want to bother them with relationship issues. Our being together already puts them in terrible situations all the time. When the driver pulls up to my flat, we exit the car and hurry to the door. Once inside, I collapse on the couch and pull a nearby pillow to
my chest.
“I’m going to make you something to eat, alright?”
I don’t say anything so she walks into the kitchen and searches for food. I decide to go change into something comfortable and sulk all the way to my room. I walk over to the dresser and open the drawer, pulling out sweats. As I close the drawer, I notice something small on the ground, partially under the dresser. I lean down and pick up the tiny plastic bag and examine it. It’s halfway full with white powder. I open the bag and smell a faint scent that I can’t put my finger on, but I can take a guess at what it is. And who’s it is. Everything starts to piece together in my mind and I fall from my crouch onto the floor, sitting in shocked silence. My whole world has fallen apart in a matter of a day. I try to stay angry, but now I’m more worried about Harry than anything else.
Notes
Please comment! I feel like everyone's kind of losing interest :/ I'd love to hear your opinions!!! Also, if you like my story and comment, I'll check yours out too! I love reading new stories!Do you think Louis will ever forgive Harry? Will Harry stop using drugs? Will Louis confront him about it even though he's so hurt?
Love this
6/20/20