Harry's POV


Slivers of moonlight filtered through the blinds and casted shadows around the dark room. Alex's head rested comfortably on my chest, my left arm lazily draped around her as my fingers traced patterns into her exposed flesh, the hideous footy pajamas, that we wore earlier, long forgotten on the bedroom floor. My right arm propped under my head as I stared up at the ceiling. My mind raced as I thought of the repercussions that were sure to follow my Instagram post from earlier.

With Alex's stomach growing bigger each day, I knew we would have to make an announcement about it soon, but maybe I should have told management before I told the rest of the world. There isn't a doubt in my mind that management will be happy for us, but when it comes to the business side, I know that they'll just be thinking about what this kind of thing can/will do to the fate of One Direction.

We're all still pretty young, and since Zayn is already engaged, Louis and Liam are both in committed relationships, and Niall is just doing his thing and having fun., I'm supposed to be the one that's the bachelor and that doesn't take relationships so seriously.

In the beginning I was all for it, all for just mingling with the beautiful woman that always seemed to be around me. I agreed to being the "single flirt" with the understanding that I was just playing a part. I don't really remember the day that playing the part actually turned into being that person. That person that had woman at his disposal. Woman that didn't care if it was just a one time thing because they got to go back to their friends and tell them that they hooked up with "Harry Styles from One Direction." Somewhere along the way I learned to turn my feelings off until one day they were ignited again.

Cara and I had been friends for a while and I always thought that she was attractive. When Cara finally started showing an interest in me I thought that it was about time that I stopped my promiscuous ways for a while and be with just one girl. Even though I enjoyed my time with Cara, I knew in the back of my mind that she wasn't the one for me. One night after returning from America, Cara told me that she was late and that she thought she was pregnant. We had only slept together and few times, but it only takes one time to get pregnant. When Cara told me that she thought she was pregnant I shut off my feeling again and knew that I had to do whatever I had to do to be apart of the babies life. I never want to be one of those dads that isn't there. I told Cara that I loved her and that I was in it for the long run. She made an appointment with a doctor and they determined that she actually wasn't pregnant, that stress was most likely the reason for her late period. When she told me that I could see the hope in her eyes that she still wanted to be together. I told her I loved her and went home that night and thought long and hard about the situation. Cara and I were only 18 and 19 years old and faced with a possible pregnancy. Cara is a cool girl, but I knew that I didn't actually love her. I knew that I couldn't keep my promises to her and I knew that I needed to end things her, the sooner the better.

The next morning I met up with her and told her that I couldn't be the person for her that she needed. She told me repeatedly that she loved me that we could work things out. It hurt me to see her breaking down like that, but I knew she wasn't the one for me.

I left her and went on tour, my feelings were once again turned off. Every other night was filled with alcohol induced make out sessions, and if the girl was particularly hot, then an alcohol induced fuck. This went on for months while we toured America.

Fresh from an alcohol laced fuck, I stepped onto an airplane and locked eyes with Alex. The feelings that I fought so hard to suppress boiled to the surface at just the sight of her. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, but it was definitely extreme like at first sight. I had to get to know her.

The thing that made me fall in love with Alex so quickly was her openness with me. It was like I had a direct line to the walls that she built up around her, and with just one touch they all came crashing down. I knew right away that Alex was the only one for me because I had never felt that way before. She saw me for me and took me at face value. She didn't have this twisted image of who she thought I was. When I talked to her she listened to me intently, with the little crinkles at the base of her eyes that popped up when she was concentrating.

I know that we rushed into things, her and everybody else in my life keep reminding me, but I wouldn't change anything that we have done. Finishing out our tour in Australia just days after meeting her gave me time to think about everything and made me realize that, despite being young, there isn't another being I'd rather be with. I physically can not stop falling in love with her. Even when she's mad at me and yelling, I'd rather her yell at me because I can't bare the silence. I already had to go through a month of near silence with her. Every day for that month I lived my life in fear. Afraid that one day I would come home and she wouldn't be there anymore. Afraid that she would return to Max because he was familiar to her.

When I saw those pictures of Max and Alex together at that premier it hurt. It hurt me because I knew that I had lied to her in the worst possible way, I had hurt her more than Max had ever hurt her before. Seeing them together and laughing made my heart ache and I knew that I had to do something drastic to show her that I am one hundred percent in this. But if I'm completely in this, then why am I feeling so guilty? I love Alex, I love her with every part of me, but I also love my fans and I'm afraid that by becoming a dad that I'm going to let them down, and I don't want to do that.

"Hey." My body jerked a little at the soft voice that filled the dark room. I looked down to meet Alex's gaze. "I don't know what's wrong or what's going through your head, but please, go to sleep. I don't like seeing you this way."

My voice shook as I spoke. "What do you mean?"

"I've been awake for a half an hour now, watching all the thoughts run through your mind and you didn't even notice that I shift to gaze up at you."

I don't remember her body moving. She's right, I need to get some sleep. "You're right." I sighed.

She rolled off of me and onto her own pillow. "Come here." She held out her open arms and I obliged. I rolled over and rested my head on her bare chest, the sound of her heart beat lulling me to sleep mixed with her fingers running through my hair.

---

My arms tightened around Alex's body as I woke. The sun replaced the moonlight that filled the room just hours before.

"Good morning." Alex mumbled as she ran her fingers through my hair once again.

I loved waking up in her arms and I had missed it these last couple of days.

"Morning." I adjusted myself so I could look into her eyes and smirked. "And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Her smirk mirrored mine. "I have something for you."

I kissed her skin where my head had just been laying before I rolled off of her and stretched my body. I watched as she climbed out of bed, still naked from our love making the night before. She went to her suit case and grabbed some underwear and a bra before slipping the footy pajamas on her body. She didn't bother zipping it the entire way up, which I was thankful for. She made her way to the top drawer of the dresser that sat parallel to the bed and opened it, returning to the bed with a package wrapped in muted silver paper with shinny snowflakes on the front, ironic because here were are in LA on Christmas without a snowflake in sight.

She handed me the present with a wary smile on her face. "Open it." She encouraged. I did as I was told and unwrapped the present to reveal a leather bound journal, similar to the one that I always write in.

I looked up at her with a confused look on my face. "Open it to the first page."

Once again I did as I was told and opened it to the first page. The page was filled with writing, but a sticky note on top of the writing disturbed the view. I began reading the sticky note that dawned Alex's hand writing, just like the page below it did.

The sticky note read: "If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."



(I'm not clever enough to come up with the note that Alex left Harry, I found it on pinterest. Gotta love pinterest! hahaha)

Notes

I hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you thought, and I can't wait for you guys to read the next few chapters! They may take a little longer for me to get up, but you won't be disappointed, I promise!!

Also, on the last update I forgot to link my tumblr. I'm sorry so here's the link! (tumblr) If you have a tumblr and you want me to follow you then you can either leave me a comment with your name/link or you can send me a private message with it!

I also mentioned something about possibly linking my twitter, I've decided against that. But if you want me to make a twitter dedicated to the story I can do that, but only if people are going to follow it. Haha.

And one more thing, it is freezing where I live! We are currently going through "Storm Hercules" which means there is snow and ice everywhere and it's just not pretty! What is the weather like where you live?

p.s I changed the art for the story because I saw a lot of other stories on here with the art that I had before, what do you think of the new one? If you cant tell what it is, it's Los Angeles on the left and London on the right with VS in the middle of them!

:)

-L