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Hey Jude I & II

All The Answers



“How far along were you?” I ask breaking the silence of Linda’s quiet apartment.

We sit opposite each other on her couch. My legs are folded while she hugs her knees, holding them tight to her chest. She’s not interested in her tea as it sits on the coffee table. I sip mine slowly and wait for her to respond when she feels up to it.

“A little over a month.” She’s right in front of me but her gaze is gone.

“Are you going to call Bill-“

“Jude-can we just talk about something else? Please? Tell me about you. Things seem to be going well with Harry. . .”

“Not necessarily,” I gulp and set my cup down.

“Go on. . .”

I need guidance, and not from my mother, so I tell all. I tell her about Harry’s night in L.A. and about the recent email. I even read it from my phone and her eyes widen with shock. Hesitant, I show her the video and wait.

“I’m-I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe-why would someone do this?”

“Does that look like him? Do you think it’s Harry?” I push.

“I don’t know . . . but if he was drugged-“

“He doesn’t look like it to me,” I stand, now angry and having to walk around to think. “What if she drugged him afterwards?”

“That doesn’t even make sense and defeats the purpose.”

“We got through this once, but something doesn’t feel right this time.”

“You proved me wrong before and you know Harry better than most people, do you honestly think he would willingly cheat on you?”

“No! But there’s something else.” I sit back down closer to her. “I can’t say when this actually started, I’m usually so wrapped up in the moment with my endorphins going full throttle, but . . . it kinda hurts when we have sex now.”

Linda’s brows shoot up and she grabs my arms.

“Jude, is he being rough with you?”

“No no! The last time was Sunday, but I still feel sore which is strange for how active we are. I shouldn’t feel discomfort after 4 days. . . I noticed it around the time of Zayn’s wedding, I thought it was my usual tale of discomfort until we did it again 2 days after and I felt extremely tender. The stretching burned a bit.”

“Did he notice? Why didn’t you say something?”

“I did my best to hide it. That’s how we connect, everything feels better.”

“Clearly not the case now is it?”

“Maybe my body needs more time to relax. I’ve been stressed with all these little things, mainly work, or lack there of.”

“Billy told me about being off the tour.”

“Exactly, so what am I supposed to do with my time, with my degree? I don’t feel comfortable being Harry’s shadow for the rest of the tour.”

Linda sighs and leans back against the armrest of the couch. She’s back and no longer spaced out.

“I tell you Jude, sometimes I think about moving some place new and starting over. . . I daydream about going to America and leaving this place behind.”

“So why don’t you?” I shift, tucking my legs under to sit on my heels.

“Believe me, I ask myself that question all the time. I have nothing holding me back, and now that the baby is no longer here, I feel now is the time to do it.”

“Where would you go, any ideas?”

“New York, where else?” She smiles and reaches for her cold tea mug.

“You should definitely move there, then I can visit you a few times a year. I’ve never been to New York City.”

“I could use the distraction.”

“I know you’d get hired like that!” I snap my fingers.

“What about you, what are you going to do now? It’s time to make a decision, Jude.”

“A decision about what?”

“About Harry. About your career. About tomorrow and 5 months from now.”

I stay quiet and take a deep breath trying to search for all these answers.

“Do you think two and a half months is enough time to know if you’re going to marry someone?”

“I think two and a half months is merely a breath in the span of your life time,” Linda replies with a sympathetic half-smile.

“I feel like. . . I feel like I know what I need to do-“

“But you don’t WANT to do it.”

We nod and I sigh. Now I don’t want to talk anymore.





Harry picks me up Saturday morning, his family is in town and we prepare for a quick brunch before his sound check. I remember role play not being one of my best talents, but somehow I’ve gotten away from any quizzical stares or nudges. Harry seems to think everything is fine which in turn frightens me a smudge. Does he even know me as well as he claims?

Throughout the day I replay my conversations with Linda. I ponder about the future and what it looks like . . . and if Harry’s in it. Our meeting, hookups, were a bit extraordinary. Yes, we acknowledged that. We also questioned if it was the real thing, and we agreed that it was too. I still think it was too much too soon. A match shining so mightily at first only to burn out with little time. Is that Harry and I?

What it boils down to is . . . I haven’t quite forgiven Harry after all. How do couples do it, when someone cheats and gets caught? I know this is different situation and maybe this girl is winning by messing with my head, but how do you get over this treacherous hump? Then I think about the humiliation for both Harry and I. I-I’m just a simple girl, but Harry, that video could ruin him.

On our way to sound check my phone vibrates. I see the email symbol and my chest sinks. Harry’s sitting beside me. I can’t open it now. I don’t want to open it period. I excuse myself to the ladies room once we arrive, and dash for the first stall closest to the door. It’s her and the subject line has an unhappy face.


From: Truekat1D
To: Jude Pierce
06/07/2014 3:03 PM

:( I don’t appreciate sticking my neck out for you only to be ignored, yet again. I know you received my email so I suggest you answer me back before I make the next move. I’m doing this for your benefit. You should be grateful.
Love, C.R.



Her messages bewilder me. I remember her tweets, acting like she was a friend when she had her fangs out all this time. I need to know more but I’m genuinely alarmed to where this will go.


From: Jude Pierce
To: Truekat1D
06/07/2014 3:15 PM

I don’t understand what you want from me. You say you’re looking out for me but you’re threatening me at the same time? That doesn’t sound like a friend, if that’s what you want to be considered. Why did you do it? Why did you sleep with my boyfriend? Why did you drug him?


Anger returns. I hit send and don’t know whether it was wise to ask so many questions. To be so defensive. I step out of the stall and look in the mirror. I display the smiles I’ve practiced all day and shake my head at how minuscule I feel. How this person is making me feel. My phone vibrates on the counter.


From: Truekat1D
To: Jude Pierce
06/07/2014 3:22 PM

There you are! I knew you were reading my emails. I already explained what I wanted from you and I AM your friend. To answer your questions, I did it as a test, to which Harry easily failed. Whether there were drugs or not, that’s not important.

But I have a question for you. . .

What would be the better scenario, the guy in the video pretending to be your boyfriend or Harry being drugged and under the illusion that he was having sex with you?

Hope to hear from you soon.
Love, C.R.


I’m outraged!


From: Jude Pierce
To: Truekat1D
06/07/2014 3:25 PM

WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME??? TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT!!!


From: Truekat1D
To: Jude Pierce
06/07/2014 3:30 PM

Now, you know it’s not polite to scream. Let me ease your conscience by confirming that yes, it is Harry in the video. Yes, I slipped something into his drink and for a night, I know what it felt like to be you.

I suggest you play the video again. . . now with audio.


As much as this will hurt, I click on the link to the clip and the first thing I hear is the ruffling of sheets as he’s thrusting into her. My stomach turns and my chest burns. My eyes stream effortlessly. I can’t see the girl’s face but when I hear Harry’s grunts, I know it IS him.

Why am I doing this to myself?

I slam the phone face down on the counter and press the palms of my hands against my eyelids, holding back the tears. They burn my cheeks, the more they flow, and they leave me feeling emptier and smaller than before.

“Oh Jude. . .”

I hear the tiniest moan. I stop and glare at the floor.

“Say my name again.” A girl’s voice demands.

I look at my phone and pick it up again. It’s the video and it’s still playing.

“I love you, Jude,” Harry says to the imposter.

My fingertip holds down the screen and I push back a few seconds. Focusing on Harry’s face, I hear and see him say it again. I’m relieved and I’m not. There’s my answer. The proof staring right back at me.

Staring right back at me.

For a split second I think I see a pair of eyes and nose, but the quality of video is terrible. My head scrambles for a solution, a way to get a better look. Calvin! He has all the toys and programs to zoom in and get the exact frame. . . but that would mean finally showing this to Harry.

I know what I need to do. . .

Rushing out of the bathroom, I’d been in there long enough, I search for Harry. We need to talk and it can wait for after the concert but he needs to know it’s important and he can’t make plans. Gemma’s in the dressing room and at first she smiles until she fully grasps my urgency. She scowls and I can see the words forming on her lips.

“What’s wrong? You look horrified!”

“I’ll tell you but first I need to talk to Harry.”

I justify if what I’m about to say is worth interrupting sound check, but I can’t hide behind a smile any more. Jogging back out to the hallway, I head backstage but just before I go up the steps my phone vibrates again. Ignoring it, I take my first step but stop when it vibrates again.

It’s a call. It’s Mom. Ugh, what timing!

“Hi mom, can I call you back?!”

“Hun-ny,” she sniffs. I freeze. Oh no, not more bad news! “Jude, sweetie?”

“I’m sorry, Mom. What happened, why are you crying?”

“It’s Aunt Maggie, she passed away this morning.”

I flop on the cold stair, eyes bleeding from the cruelty that’s been delivered my way in the last 84 hours. Death through me, death around me. It isn’t right to be here. It doesn’t feel right anymore.

“Jude. Jude, are you there?” She can barely hold it together.

“Yes, Mom.” I cry.

“Darling, can you come home? Please?”

Notes

A/N: Chapter Playlist

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) -Sleeping At Last

Turning Page -Sleeping At Last


Next . . . Last Chapter.

Comments

85............why am i commenting on dirty things!

48 Is really kinky......but im still readidng it

ok so chapter 35 tells me how to cup nuts...ok

woow not even half of the book and there already fucking!! chapter 6 and 5 are the reason i don't have a boyfriend :(

Hey! Could you please answer me on Whattpad? I would be so honored to translate your amazing fanfiction into Russian.