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Hey Jude I & II

Greater Faith



“Jude! Jude, what are you doin’?!”

I keep walking, ignoring the voice that’s demanding my attention. My emotions and thoughts are raging havoc; they shout, cry and argue. I fight them and distract myself with the faces around me. They look at us as confused as I feel, first recognizing Harry then realizing our stress.

I take the remaining seat between the couple and teenager. Harry stops a few feet away, scowling at my inconsiderate action. He walks past my section and when I turn to see, he’s speaking with one of the flight attendants. Not a moment later he stands before me, looking bothered and flustered.

“They said we can board the plane now.”

I carry on without a word. This feels awful and my conscience is lost. I hold my breath striding down the jetway with Harry behind me ignorant of my struggle. Needing a moment of courage, I toss my bag on the seat and continue towards the bathroom. Immediately locking the door, my hands clutch to the tiny sink and my glasses begin to fog. I neither care nor acknowledge the tears for my heart is center stage.

The jealousy is ripping me apart, along with the fear of the unknown. Of course I’ll forgive Harry, but the fact that he’s the first person to ever get this close frightens the hell out of me. Those wounds could last forever.

Removing my frames, I run the lens under water. Hooking them to my shirt, I then wipe beneath my eyes while trying to salvage the last layer of makeup. Though it’s no use, my eyes are puffy, freckles are red and so is my chest.

I remain still, looking at the fragile chain hidden beneath my shirt. Pulling the necklace out, I hold the quill charm in the air, reminiscing over our best times. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I couldn’t love unconditionally during our hardest ones too.

I cover my eyes again and exit to my seat. The rest of first class has boarded and now the remaining sections are being filled. Harry is sitting on the outside, leaving me the window. He gives me the space I need to settle in and buckle, yet I’m not ready to speak. I see a frightened hand reach for mine and connect. My head turns to look outside the window but the warmth of his touch ignites my sorrow.

A drop rolls down my cheek as I squeeze my eyes to prevent more. Harry removes my glasses carefully and folds them on his lap. His fingers stretch over my opposite cheek as he leans close to my face in absolute despair.

“Jude, I love you so much, if you only knew,” his faint tone is weighty with heartache. “And I’ve missed you terribly. . . I still do. Whatever I’ve done, please forgive me. But please, don’t keep your distance.”
My guard crumbles when our eyes align, hopelessness meeting anguish.

“I don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend, Harry, but some days are harder than others . . . and today’s the hardest. . . please, tell me if you remember anything that night.”

“Baby,” Harry shifts and cradles my face in both hands. “Believe me, I beg you, believe me that I would never do anythin’ to hurt you. I parted from Ed to get another drink and that’s the last thing I remember. . . I wish I could tell you more but beyond that point, you must know, that that wasn’t me. I’m madly in love and blissfully satisfied with everything that is you, I have no need nor reason to wander elsewhere. Ever!”
Harry’s wet cheek is against mine, concealing our mummers from any onlookers.

“There’s pictures and videos of you leaving with her, Harry,” my voice dies.

“I can’t remember, Jude. I could spend an eternity apologizin’ for the evidence, but what I’m askin' takes greater faith. . . Do you still trust me?” The streams from my eyes are deep enough to dive in, drown in, so I hold on to the light he emits to escape. “Then as unfair as it may be. . . can you forgive me?”

His face is drenched and so is mine. We’ve never had a moment this intense and this naked in public before. I make the decision, as absurd as it may seem to the average person, but what Harry and I have is anything but average.

The emotional turbulence subsides leaving us drained and sedated for the upcoming hours. We’re inseparable, sheltered by the complimentary blankets. I forgave Harry because in his eyes I saw more truth than any person could express in their lifetime. We’re only human and we’ll never stop making mistakes. But I believe him. I trust him. I love him.




We land in Dublin early Wednesday morning. Tomorrow Harry will be back into the thick of it between interviews and soundcheck for the concert on Friday. We were robbed a few days and now I’m not sure what itinerary we’re to abide before our free time runs out.

Forgetting the unusual routine of being escorted through private tunnels and thrown into tinted glass cars, I long for hibernation with Harry. It would be shameful to waste this location and not see the heart of Ireland, but I understand why the band isn’t able to sightsee as much as they’d like. The exhaustion of uncomfortable travel and endless hours of practice, these boys will grow older before their time.

The sun is bright as we pull up to the Croke Park Hotel and the air is colder but comfortable. I’m ready to lay down, even if it’s for thirty minutes. I hope Harry can spare that at least. We check in and steer to the elevators. The enchantment of being in another beautiful hotel is starting to blend with the others. A common person doesn’t have such luxuries to travel the world and stay in five star resorts. May I never take this for granted.

“Alas, a real bed!” Harry is the first to claim the mattress, and a large one at that.

“Like a cloud, compared to the hospital bed and plane seats,” I smile and crawl beside him.

“Jude,” Harry turns on to his stomach and holds my hand. “Love, are you hungry?”

“Can we stay in though?”

“I’ll call room service right now,” Harry stands to look through the guest binder and shows me the menu.

“Can we have steak?”

“Steak?! Are we pregnant?” he chuckles but I sit up right away.

“No. Not that I know of . . . but what if I did have a scare?"

Harry looks so tall and inquisitive. “What if you did? Are you worried about it right now?”

“Not exactly. It’s just we’ve never talked about it, and I know it’s still pretty soon-“

“But it’s important . . . and no, I’m not worried. It wouldn’t be a scare for me.”

“Of course not,” I smirk. Surely he’ll want to take care of the problem.


His hand covers my knee as he lowers to the ground. I know he’s reading my mind but it’s his relaxed expression that’s irritating me.


"It would be the perfect excuse to marry you sooner,” he winks.

“It wouldn’t terrify you at all? What about your career?”

“We would all be together, and that matters to me more. Look at Lou and Lux, look at all the fun times they’re having.”

“I didn’t even think about that. . . Oh Harry, you don’t know the relief that gives me,” I stand to breathe. “I’m always paranoid about things like that. I mean, I’m careful and still on the pill. . . its not like I want to try and get pregnant but it still eases me to know-“

“Why not?”

“Why not what?” I freeze and study him.

“Why not get pregnant?”

“You must still be pretty ill. I think you should lay down before you keep talking crazy like that!” I laugh and pace about.

“Maybe not this instant, but not too far away,” Harry crawls to me on his knees and hugs my thighs, staring at me with those rich green irises. “Don’t you want to have my babies?”

“Oh Lord, how many do you want?!” I smile wider.

“Four . . . minimum.”

“Hah! Four? Do you plan on driving us around like the Partridge family?”

“Now you’re thinkin’!” Harry winks again.

“No, now you need to call room service,” I break in laughter.

Harry skips to the phone and orders two juicy stakes with potatoes. I admire him as I rub my pudgy belly. Imagine me, with child. With Harry’s child? I could get lost in this fantasy.

Notes

A/N: Chapter Playlist

Running If You Call My Name - Haim

Stay - SafetySuit


Don't let your guard down yet. . .

I want to continually thank all of you for everything! I also want to announce, if you haven't seen it already, I have a new light hearted and Science Fiction/Romance story out that I'm sure you might find entertaining. I'd like to hear more opinions on it, so please wander this way ... :)

Next Life


Comments

85............why am i commenting on dirty things!

48 Is really kinky......but im still readidng it

ok so chapter 35 tells me how to cup nuts...ok

woow not even half of the book and there already fucking!! chapter 6 and 5 are the reason i don't have a boyfriend :(

Hey! Could you please answer me on Whattpad? I would be so honored to translate your amazing fanfiction into Russian.