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Hey Jude I & II

He's All I See

A/N: Chapter Playlist

"Breathing Underwater" - Metric

"A Stillness" - The Naked and Famous

"Take a Walk" Passion Pit

"Here Comes The Sun" The Beatles

What if I woke up right now, about to land into London and none of this ever happened. Like some bizarre Inception scene, though I don't believe my mind could conjure such an epic story. How crazy would that be? And how devastating.

Quickly, I reach for the evidence, pulling down the soft beanie from my head. It smells like him and I question how in the world did this happen to ME. Looking out the window, it appears as though the ground is falling from beneath. I never thought I'd be this depressed to leave England. . . to leave him.

I feel like Alice floating out of the rabbit hole; wonderland is looking much smaller and further with each passing minute. As I observe the passengers around me, wearing spiffy suits and flaunting top of the line Padfolios and laptops, they have no idea I've just experienced the best week of my life. Instead they seem bored and dull, such a contrast between how I'm feeling right now.

The man beside me has isolated himself in his book on business management, appearing younger than what his grey hair leads me to think. I can't say the same for the lady across from us, she's wearing a permanent frown while scrolling through her tablet. I'd buy her a drink just to get her to smile if I could. In conclusion, I might be the youngest traveler here in first class.

Harry wasn't kidding, these seats are definitely wider and comfier. I fiddle with the beanie a little longer before sliding it back on like a crown, choosing to take out my cell and earphones next. I search for Harry's playlist and smile at the first song. Playing Here Comes The Sun, I take a few seconds to allow the music to relax me. Peeking out my window again, all I see is a blanket of water and shapely clouds; its so bright. No turning back now.

My index finger scrolls through the new album of pictures from our trip to Liverpool. Taking my time, even if it's mostly me in the shots. When I find ones with Harry and I, my mind travels back to relive that precise moment. I eventually make my way to the videos, clicking on the first one. The music stops automatically and I'm transported to Harry's kitchen.

All it takes is the image of Harry cooking in his underwear to make me shimmy in my seat like a little girl. I miss those dimples and the sound of his voice already. I giggle once he pulls on his undies, anticipating him to take the phone away from me soon. His voice is so clear, it sounds so rich and dreamy.

It appears as though the camera took a tumble followed by the sight of me standing in my bra. Leaning further back into the corner of my window seat, making sure no one else sees, I'm entranced by Harry again even if he's making a frog face. Recognizing this part, when he walks back into the bedroom, I inhale profoundly as I watch his face transform.

He stands still with the camera on him but eyes straight ahead. Combing his fingers through his disheveled locks, he lets out a puff of frustration. Harry turns the lens so that I'm now looking at the bed with messy sheets.

"How am I supposed to sleep at night without you here?"

Harry turns to sit on the bed, changing the angle of the camera so that he is now looking down. I have a perfect view of his strong jawline and chest tattoos. But to concentrate on those lips as he speaks in that thick accent, who's to stop me from replaying this till I lose my sanity.

"I wish you a safe flight back, sweetheart. I would've loved to've been there sat beside you. Can't tell you how amazin' this week has . . ." Harry pauses and sighs. "Just meeting you. I mean, I've yet another reason to love The Beatles now, because they brought you here . . .to me."

Harry ends the video by blowing a kiss but my heart's already caught in a bear trap, or so it feels. I replay the last bit a few times, over and over and over again. After about fifteen minutes of that madness I'm ready to move on to the next clip. It starts with an overhead view of me hiding beneath the covers and zooms in closer to my face. A minute or so into the video Harry says those three words that any deaf person would kill to hear. My face is frozen on camera, still afloat, I close my eyes to hear him repeat it three more times.

I take a break to use the restroom and resort to listening to music instead when I return. The songs are almost therapeutic, uplifting and relatable. The flight attendant is making her first round of beverage requests, to which I politely ask for some apple juice. Holding the cup, I proceed to slide my laptop out of my bag and place it upon the retractable table tray.

There's no explanation why I'm drawn to this next set of videos, other than I miss Harry's face. With one earphone in as I attentively wait for the stewardess to pass the breakfast platters, I play the first music video with the most views. I hear a suppressed laugh from the man sitting beside me and I look at him to see what's so amusing, catching him glance straight at my screen.

"My daughter loves that band."

"Yeah? How old is she?"

"Twelve. I took her to see them in concert last year in New York."

"I bet she loved it."

"She talked about it for weeks. I was fortunate to take her and my wife on a business trip there and I surprised her with the tickets. She says her favorite is Zarry . . . which one is that?"

That name doesn't sound familiar. I simply shrug my shoulders not having an answer to his question.

"Do you fancy them?"

"You could say that . . .more like I fancy one," I smile knowingly.

"Let me guess, the curly haired one?" he smirks.

I'm glad the thin layer of ice has been broken; he's so nice he reminds me of my dad. Finally the food comes around. We're given a plate with cream cheese bagels and fruit cups. I wait till the man's distracted back in his book before I entertain myself with more videos of One Direction, placing the other earpiece in.

My eyelids are super heavy and it's only been two hours. I could take a short nap now and maybe watch a movie on my laptop later on. Agreeing to the idea, I put everything away except for my phone. Continuing with Harry's playlist, I pull his beanie down and drift away.

I owe Harry big time. Sitting for this long is starting to make me very anxious, I'm so grateful for the extra space. I only dozed off for about an hour but no matter how hard I try, my thoughts race back to Harry. How would I be acting if he weren't in the picture, what would I be doing? Either blogging, listening to all my favorite Beatles hits or reading an ebook. Life can go on, Jude.

Weighing my options: a movie, wine or blogging . . .or maybe the last two. I suddenly feel a light vibration come from my phone.

This is a test... reply if you're awake or alive -H xx.

Ecstatic to see that my iMessages were working, I quickly text back.

I'm alive, yes. But I miss you -J <3

This can't be Jude. She was supposed to text me her home address, therefore this must be someone else ;) -H xx.

I've failed yet again. I had one job and I screwed it up. Smiling like an idiot, I send him what he wants plus a detailed description of my house. Hopefully I'll get an extra point for that.

I miss you too but it hasn't sunk in yet that you are gone. I'm afraid it will at night though :/ -H xx.

I'll keep you company over the phone :) -J <3

Yes, please! Well gorgeous, I have to go into the meeting now. Louis and Niall say Hi -H xx.

Hello! Okay, I'll call you when I land -J <3

Peeerfect -H xx.

I'm back in Phoenix. The place hasn't changed but I feel like I have. Before I was content to stay and live here for the rest of my life if be, yet after tasting a sample of what this world had to offer, I fear I'm no longer satisfied with this city. A seed of restlessness was planted inside me the moment I left London and now it only has time to grow.

When I see my parents, a cluster of thoughts and emotions overtake me. I revert to a seventeen year old's mannerisms and naiveness, its like I'm disguising the woman I've grown up to be this past week from them. Reality takes a bitter turn, London seems like it was just a figment of my imagination as I evaluate all the normalcies I've come back to.

The fact that Harry didn't answer my calls was weighing on me. I need to be reminded that Narnia still exists, that Harry's apartment was real and I'm not hallucinating things. I'm even questioning if this beanie is really his and not some stranger's. Meanwhile I've been playing the role of a daughter happy to be home, giving short answers to their otherwise extensive questions.

We arrive at the house around six in the evening after stopping for an early dinner. Table talk was light and barely skimming the surface of my list of activities. Truth was I spent more time with Harry than actually exploring London. I promised to show them photos later, but resisted any details about Harry, avoiding the sad topic altogether.

Settling in my room, I flop on my bed and check my phone screen to see zero calls and texts. Aaaand it starts. When I try to unlock my screen, nothing happens. It appears as though my screen is frozen and I notice even the time has stopped. What the heck? I'm disappointed and hopeful to restart my device . . . Harry has another chance to make my night.

"Unpacked yet?" My mom says walking in and making herself comfortable on my bed, sitting against the headboard.

"No, my phone is being stupid and I'm too lazy to put anything away tonight."

"You don't seem too happy to be back. We missed you. . . what time is your class tomorrow?"

"Eleven, thank God. I'll get to sleep in."

"So, tell me about this Harry guy."

"Oh mom, he's terrific," I lay back and she naturally begins to play with my hair. "He's too good to be true!"

In high school I had a handful of close friends, but after we graduated as time went on it became harder to keep in touch. Most of them went to different colleges out of state or fell off the planet and into serious relationships. So my mom and I grew closer when I started University, I no longer had an attitude and she became less over protective.

"Why do you say that? Do you have a picture?"

"Better," I roll of the bed to retrieve my laptop.

I search for my favorite video of the band with their families . . .and I wait. I can tell she's not sure what or who she should be looking at. I turn on my phone, ready for more evidence before she can speak.

"Is he in this video?"

My finger darts right to the curly haired one hitting a high note and I witness her jaw drop. As my mother she has to believe me, but her skepticism is still there.

"That's Harry?! Wait, who are these guys?" Her eyes squint as she reads their name on the bottom.

I scoot up to rest my head on her shoulder, comforted by her hand as she caresses my face. I feel like I'm fifteen all over again. My phone is showing the correct time and I instantly search for a picture of Harry and I. Showing her the one of us posing in front of the Beatles exhibit building, she nods in awe.

"He's the one that introduced Paul McCartney to you right? You are one lucky girl!" I sigh in reply.

Even though we are close, I like that she has this innocent perception of me. I haven't told her that I lost my virginity yet, and I'm not sure that I need to. After my experience with Harry, I can honestly say that my ex had no clue on what he was doing. I can't fault him for wanting to try harder but he pretty much ruined the fantasy for me. It hurt, I was uncomfortable and had no experience as well. However, I also can't explain what changed inside me to be so free with Harry.

Ethan and I met in my second year of college and flirted for months. He encouraged me to join the Phoenix Journal, the University's online newsletter. There I met Roger who ended up giving me a small column on the site. Ethan and I had only been dating for six months before we slept together. After our second try, a month later, we realized the chemistry just wasn't there I guess.

"Did you have fun, are you glad you stayed longer?" Mom asks, shaking me out of my daze.

"I had a lovely time, mom. I didn't want it to end, thats the problem."

"You still haven't told me much. Are you dating? Staying in touch?"

"He called me his girlfriend and I believed him. But I worry that no matter how hard he tries, he will lose interest."

"Stay positive sweetie, things happen for a reason."

Just as she finishes my phone chimes with the screen lighting up. Messages are popping up one after the other, like I'm receiving them all at once. Harry's name jumps out as if it were a hologram and I can't wait to read them all.

"Well, you know where to find me," my mom kisses the top of my head before leaving.

Too giddy to sit still enough, I jump to my feet and pace about the room. There's two missed calls, three text messages and one voice mail. It's like Christmas, I don't know which gift to open first.

Sorry I missed your calls, we ended up meeting with Ben right after. I'm glad you survived the flight. I'll call you here in a little bit. -H xx.

Hope everything is alright. I'll call you again later. -H xx.

Can I call you now? -H xx.

With each text my frown grows longer. Stupid phone! What good is all this technology if you can't rely on it when you need it most. Its around two in the morning in London, Harry must be sleeping by now. Before I can decide on whether to call him or not, I wait to hear his voicemail.

"Hel-lo baby, I'm at home now and I trust that soon you'll be too. We got to see what our next two weeks are going to be like, and I must say it doesn't look pretty. But whenever you get this message please call me back. I miss your voice. And NO I don't care how late you call-"

Unsure if his message got cut off, I call him right away. Pacing in circles now, there's no way I can sit down, there's no way I can breathe. I'm biting on my nail and hoping that he does pick up, no matter how tired he is.

"Heeeyyy," Harry's raspy voice answers. "I was beginning to worry."

"My phone froze, I just received all your messages right now. . .I'm home."

"Yeah I saw that, I called the airlines to make sure your plane had landed. How does it feel to be back home?"

"Honestly, a little strange. I miss London."

"Is that all you miss?" I could hear him grinning into the receiver.

"Oh and I miss Lou too."

"Pffft! Aright."

"But OF COURSE I miss YOU!"

"That's more like it," I hear him yawn, knowing I should cut this short.

"Well I have class later tomorrow and more time to rest than you, so I'll let you go to back to bed."

"I wish you were here talking next to me."


"Well you'd be talking, I'd be doing something else," Harry laughs quietly but I already know that tone.

"Riiight. Okay sleepy head, talk to you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Oh and I have a small package that you should be gettin' soon."

Hmmmm . . . "Really? I can't wait."

"G'night, love"


A package? I'd like to say that's all I can think about, but it's his face that I see. Whether I have my eyes open or closed.

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Cupcakes and Harry Dolls, I hope you enjoy this chapter even though Harry's far away. Bear with me. Thoughts? Opinions? Likes, dislikes? And if you DO like it, please show some love and vote? Or not . . .I still love it here either way :) xOxO


85............why am i commenting on dirty things!

48 Is really kinky......but im still readidng it

ok so chapter 35 tells me how to cup nuts...ok

woow not even half of the book and there already fucking!! chapter 6 and 5 are the reason i don't have a boyfriend :(

Hey! Could you please answer me on Whattpad? I would be so honored to translate your amazing fanfiction into Russian.