Being Me
chapter 1
Maybe I should get out of bed today? Its been a week since my boyfriend Jeff broke up with me. Well it was a mutual agreement kind of. I put up with his shit for four months, I only did because I couldn’t believe he wanted to be with me in the first place. He was perfect at first, always being romantic and taking me to secluded areas in our school to kiss me. Then I realized he was only with me because I would give him all the answers to assignments and tests. That hurt but worse was when I tried to talk to him in front of his friends, he acted like we weren’t dating and would walk away from me. He pushed me to far when he said I was getting too clingy and unless we had sex he didn’t think he could be with me anymore.
Jeff had been my only friend since I had moved to London. He was my first kiss, something I wish wasn’t his. I broke it off through text knowing that I would break down in front of him. He would never expect it from me to cry as I refuse to let anyone see me in that weak state.
I decide to get up not wanting to waste anymore time letting memories of our fake relationship consume my thoughts. I start the shower and began striping myself of my clothes. I looked into the mirror and study the necklace that adorned my neck. Jeff gave it to me. This was of course during the romantic stage in our relationship I take it off and shove it into my drawer. I take a quick shower and throw some jeans and a plain t-shirt on. I towel dry my hair and style it into a quick side braid. Makeup isn’t too appealing right now so I just put some eyeliner and mascara on. I put on my black converse and grab my bag.
Im almost out the door when I see a note on the kitchen counter. I scowl at the neat handwriting.
Jane I will be out till Wednesday finalizing some deals. There is some money for food. –mom
Of course she would fail to tell me this in advance. I never mind her being gone, cause there is no difference when she actually is here. I see a envelope next to the note I look inside and see a very generous amount of money. I grab the envelope and throw it in my bag. I make my way to the door and brace myself for the weather today. Gladly it’s a nice day so I decide to walk today. I have nowhere to be, I just want to get out of the house. I decide I should probably eat something since its been a couple days since I have eaten anything besides a couple grapes and a few almonds. Plus my entire stash of chocolate.
I spot a restaurant and quickly run in realizing how hungry I really am. I take a seat and scan their menu. Meat.Meat.Meat.Meat… lovely. I grow frustrated and ask the waitress for a simple grilled cheese. She gives me an odd look but quickly nods her head and walks away. I grab my phone and see if I have any messages, of course I don't have any. You don’t have anyone to talk to anymore I remind myself. I shake the thought and grab my book from my bag I go through the pages fast and decide it’s a new favorite. I look up and see the waitress coming with my meal. I quickly thank her and start eating. I finish fast start and call her over for the check. I look back down and place my stuff in my bag. I grab a twenty and tell her to keep the change. She is surprised but doesn’t argue, I guess I haven’t got the whole currency thing down yet.
I walk out of the establishment and decide I need to enjoy the weather while it lasts. I look up directions to the nearest park. It’s a good two miles but I don’t mind walking.
Since my mother and I moved I never really cared to venture out and see what was around the area, its nice and I see why people always talk about London so much. The streets are adorned with all kinds of stores; the city is a mixture of the past and present its lovely and I am finally glad to be living here.
I arrive and am disturbed to see loads of happy couple going for walks and having sweet moments between one other. I think of Jeff for a brief second but stop myself knowing that he is just an old memory, and I don’t mind not being with him. I just mind not having anyone to make good memories with. I decide to stay, I make my my way through the busy part of the park and find a more secluded area. I settle under a tree and began reading my book. It’s a typical romance novel and it is giving off all the signs of a perfect ending. Something that I probably never will have.
I shake my head at the thought and look up to see a figure under a tree looking at me from afar. I can’t tell what he looks like from where I’m at but I look away fearing that he might try and talk to me. I go back to reading and finish the whole book in thirty minutes. Like I guessed it had a perfect ending. I look into the sky and see a dark overcast forming. I quickly throw my stuff into my bag and look for my umbrella. Money.recipt.book.brush.pen.notebook.NO.NO.NO! I huff in frustration and start my journey back home.
If I can hail a cab by time I get out of the park I shouldn’t get too drenched. I start pacing back to the entrance of the park, but with my luck it begins to pour down. I put my bag over my head but struggle since I carry so much shit in it. I stumble but stop before I fall completely. Right when im about give up staying dry I feel it stop raining I gladly take my bag off my head knowing I must look ridiculous. I then realize the black umbrella above my head. I quickly turn around and see a curly haired boy with stunning green eyes. My head barley passes his shoulders and his slim frame is adorned with a thin white t-shirt that allows anyone to see his chest tattoos. He also wears a simple pair of black skinny jeans that and tighter than mine. He smiles down at me and I shyly look down and step closer to him so he doesn’t get drenched.
“Its okay, you don’t have to do that,” I say over the sound of the rain.He shakes his head curtly and moves his hair from his forehead.
‘I don’t mind, plus the exit is pretty far,” he smirks knowing I won’t argue with his reasoning.
“Thank you,” I say studying the many tattoos that took up space on his arm. They were unique and seemed really random, I don’t say anything. I look up and see him studying me intently I look down embarrassed that I got caught.
“No problem. Come on before the park floods.” He says but laughs to show his serious tone was only a joke. I laugh and can’t help it, his laugh is too contagious and his voice is deep and unique. It sets off a feeling I haven’t felt in quite some time.
We start walking and as we approach the exit I begin to panic I still am going to need to hail a cab and I am god awful at that. The strangers who’s name I really need to know notices my uneasiness and I cant tell if I’m grateful.
“Do you need a ride?”
It would be stupid to decline but don’t even know the guy. He could be a murder or rapist! His tattooed exterior gives off the image of a bad boy or even a playboy, something I have had no experience with.
“I don’t know. I kind of don’t know you,” I say bluntly, doing my best to scare him away.
My words do nothing to him at all. Instead he sticks his hand out, and I slowly accept it.
“My names Harry and I can give you a ride home,” he says surely then looks down to his shoes. “But only if you wan me to?” he says nervously. Its cute and unexpected.
“Um, I do need one so it would be great if you did, Harry,” his name is nice and suits him perfectly. “I’m Jane by the way”.
“It’s a lovely name,” he says quietly as he stares at my face again.” My cars this way. Come on,” He says excitedly as he pulls on my hand.
This is odd. I think to myself as Harry and I walk to his car. I would never go with a stranger. Then again he seems pretty reliable. It’s not like anyone would care if you got killed. I shake the thought from my head and look up at Harry as he navigates us through the people to his car.
Jeff had been my only friend since I had moved to London. He was my first kiss, something I wish wasn’t his. I broke it off through text knowing that I would break down in front of him. He would never expect it from me to cry as I refuse to let anyone see me in that weak state.
I decide to get up not wanting to waste anymore time letting memories of our fake relationship consume my thoughts. I start the shower and began striping myself of my clothes. I looked into the mirror and study the necklace that adorned my neck. Jeff gave it to me. This was of course during the romantic stage in our relationship I take it off and shove it into my drawer. I take a quick shower and throw some jeans and a plain t-shirt on. I towel dry my hair and style it into a quick side braid. Makeup isn’t too appealing right now so I just put some eyeliner and mascara on. I put on my black converse and grab my bag.
Im almost out the door when I see a note on the kitchen counter. I scowl at the neat handwriting.
Jane I will be out till Wednesday finalizing some deals. There is some money for food. –mom
Of course she would fail to tell me this in advance. I never mind her being gone, cause there is no difference when she actually is here. I see a envelope next to the note I look inside and see a very generous amount of money. I grab the envelope and throw it in my bag. I make my way to the door and brace myself for the weather today. Gladly it’s a nice day so I decide to walk today. I have nowhere to be, I just want to get out of the house. I decide I should probably eat something since its been a couple days since I have eaten anything besides a couple grapes and a few almonds. Plus my entire stash of chocolate.
I spot a restaurant and quickly run in realizing how hungry I really am. I take a seat and scan their menu. Meat.Meat.Meat.Meat… lovely. I grow frustrated and ask the waitress for a simple grilled cheese. She gives me an odd look but quickly nods her head and walks away. I grab my phone and see if I have any messages, of course I don't have any. You don’t have anyone to talk to anymore I remind myself. I shake the thought and grab my book from my bag I go through the pages fast and decide it’s a new favorite. I look up and see the waitress coming with my meal. I quickly thank her and start eating. I finish fast start and call her over for the check. I look back down and place my stuff in my bag. I grab a twenty and tell her to keep the change. She is surprised but doesn’t argue, I guess I haven’t got the whole currency thing down yet.
I walk out of the establishment and decide I need to enjoy the weather while it lasts. I look up directions to the nearest park. It’s a good two miles but I don’t mind walking.
Since my mother and I moved I never really cared to venture out and see what was around the area, its nice and I see why people always talk about London so much. The streets are adorned with all kinds of stores; the city is a mixture of the past and present its lovely and I am finally glad to be living here.
I arrive and am disturbed to see loads of happy couple going for walks and having sweet moments between one other. I think of Jeff for a brief second but stop myself knowing that he is just an old memory, and I don’t mind not being with him. I just mind not having anyone to make good memories with. I decide to stay, I make my my way through the busy part of the park and find a more secluded area. I settle under a tree and began reading my book. It’s a typical romance novel and it is giving off all the signs of a perfect ending. Something that I probably never will have.
I shake my head at the thought and look up to see a figure under a tree looking at me from afar. I can’t tell what he looks like from where I’m at but I look away fearing that he might try and talk to me. I go back to reading and finish the whole book in thirty minutes. Like I guessed it had a perfect ending. I look into the sky and see a dark overcast forming. I quickly throw my stuff into my bag and look for my umbrella. Money.recipt.book.brush.pen.notebook.NO.NO.NO! I huff in frustration and start my journey back home.
If I can hail a cab by time I get out of the park I shouldn’t get too drenched. I start pacing back to the entrance of the park, but with my luck it begins to pour down. I put my bag over my head but struggle since I carry so much shit in it. I stumble but stop before I fall completely. Right when im about give up staying dry I feel it stop raining I gladly take my bag off my head knowing I must look ridiculous. I then realize the black umbrella above my head. I quickly turn around and see a curly haired boy with stunning green eyes. My head barley passes his shoulders and his slim frame is adorned with a thin white t-shirt that allows anyone to see his chest tattoos. He also wears a simple pair of black skinny jeans that and tighter than mine. He smiles down at me and I shyly look down and step closer to him so he doesn’t get drenched.
“Its okay, you don’t have to do that,” I say over the sound of the rain.He shakes his head curtly and moves his hair from his forehead.
‘I don’t mind, plus the exit is pretty far,” he smirks knowing I won’t argue with his reasoning.
“Thank you,” I say studying the many tattoos that took up space on his arm. They were unique and seemed really random, I don’t say anything. I look up and see him studying me intently I look down embarrassed that I got caught.
“No problem. Come on before the park floods.” He says but laughs to show his serious tone was only a joke. I laugh and can’t help it, his laugh is too contagious and his voice is deep and unique. It sets off a feeling I haven’t felt in quite some time.
We start walking and as we approach the exit I begin to panic I still am going to need to hail a cab and I am god awful at that. The strangers who’s name I really need to know notices my uneasiness and I cant tell if I’m grateful.
“Do you need a ride?”
It would be stupid to decline but don’t even know the guy. He could be a murder or rapist! His tattooed exterior gives off the image of a bad boy or even a playboy, something I have had no experience with.
“I don’t know. I kind of don’t know you,” I say bluntly, doing my best to scare him away.
My words do nothing to him at all. Instead he sticks his hand out, and I slowly accept it.
“My names Harry and I can give you a ride home,” he says surely then looks down to his shoes. “But only if you wan me to?” he says nervously. Its cute and unexpected.
“Um, I do need one so it would be great if you did, Harry,” his name is nice and suits him perfectly. “I’m Jane by the way”.
“It’s a lovely name,” he says quietly as he stares at my face again.” My cars this way. Come on,” He says excitedly as he pulls on my hand.
This is odd. I think to myself as Harry and I walk to his car. I would never go with a stranger. Then again he seems pretty reliable. It’s not like anyone would care if you got killed. I shake the thought from my head and look up at Harry as he navigates us through the people to his car.
9/4/13