Crystalised

Jenna's POV

That morning when I woke up. I felt different. I had an appointment at the clinic doctor Chinn suggested. I had to do some weird tests about what I feel and what I do. After that I had to wait an hour so they can examen how I did and what exactly I had. I was more worried about Harry. I really snapped at him yesterday, and look what happened.

After the results came in, it was confirmed that I had Bipolar I Disorder. It was weird. Because today I felt normal, but I was afraid of myself. I had no idea what I am capable of, and frankly, I didn't want to know. So after the tests were done, me and my mom went in some room at the clinic. They told me that I had therapy on mondays, wednesdays, thursdays and saturdays. They prescripted me with some pills that were suppose to make me normal. They were called Quetiapine. I got them form the drug store and went home afterwards. I was suppose to call Harry, but I didn't know what to say. When I got in, my phone rang. It was Harry.

"Hey" I answered nervously.

"How are you? How'd it go?" He asked.

"It was fine. It's official, I am bipolar." I said, and laugher. He laughed at my sick humor.

"Are you ok now?" He asked. I didn't want him to be afraid of me. That was the last thing I wanted...

"Yes…sort of" I said, and laughed again. This was too serious, so I used sarcasm and humor to ease my situation for me. It was working…for me.

"Do you have plans for today?" He asked. He was really sweet.

"Besides being sick?" I asked, and laughed again. He didn't. I was feeling like I was taking it too far, so I continued "Not really." I said.

"Well then, come on." He said. I was confused. I heard a honk from the phone, and the same honk outside. He was in front of my house with his car. It made me really happy. I got dressed quickly into something more human, and got into his car.

"Hey" He said, and kissed my cheek. He was really nice.

He took me to London's eye, the ferris wheel. We got in. We were alone in our cabin. As it was starting to move, and we were rising, he hugged me from behind. He wrapped his hands around my stomach and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. He was talking about my illness.

"I don't mind. It's a part of me now, so I have to live with it…" I said. These words were true. I have to learn how to live with it.

"I just want you to know, it doesn't change anything" He said, and kissed my cheek. I felt my stomach doing a flip in my body.

For few minutes, we stood like that. It was really nice. The view was amazing. And, I suddenly realized, this is my life now. I lived in London, I have these new friends, I had Harry. And like it or not, I had a condition.

"Are you hungry?" He asked me, and then kissed my neck. I knew, from now on, things are going to be very different. I am always afraid of change, always.

"Not really" I said. I felt his smile, and his warm breath on my neck.

"I hope this is the last time you say that" He said, and started laughing. I just smiled so he doesn't feel bad. "No, no, no, come on!" he said "Don't be sad" He turned me around so I was facing him "Happy Jen, come on" He pushed up the ends of my mouth, so it looks like I'm smiling. I started to laugh "There we go" He said, satisfied and kissed me. I could still feel the sparks that were happening. It felt really nice. It turned into a more passionate kiss. The time was right. I felt the culmination of my fears. Nothing scared me anymore. It's time.

"I want to tell" I said, still touching his lips with mine.

"Tell what?" He asked, confused.

"About us. I want to go public" I said. I was sure of it.

"What?" He said, and then changed his question "I mean, is that what you really want?" He asked. He was concerned.

"Harry, nothing scares me now. I experienced something last night, it was so scary facing death like that. It was the end. And with that, all my other fears were buried. I don't care if I get hate, I've never cared what people think of me, and I'll never will" I said. His eyes had tears in them. "It's ok, Harry. I get it now." He just pulled me really close, and kissed me. I think I made him happy. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and soon after, the ride was over. We got out, and went into his car.

"Where do we go now?" I asked, and smiled.

He turned to me

"I know what you did yesterday scared you. Hell, it scared me too. I just felt like…I can't do anything about it. I felt useless. I know that you are hiding it, but I know you just want to let it out." He said. I was holding something back in me. I just didn't know what. He drove to that building we talked the second night. It was the same. We got on the roof. He went close to the edge

"What are you doing?!" I said panicking a little.

He just stretched his arms on each side, and started to scream. I was a little afraid what he might do next, but he just turned to me with a smile.

"It's the best way to let it out." He said. Something told me to go next to him. I did. He put my hand in his.

"It's ok. Let it out." He said. He had the most convincing expression on his face. It made me feel safe, so I did what he said. I started to scream, and I felt like a weight is lifting off me. I was screaming until I lost my breath, and then i repeated. After every scream , I felt lighter. It felt really good to let it out, like he said. It started to rain. At first it was just few drops, but then it became aggressive. It was pouring, but we didn't care. After I couldn't scream anymore, he put his hands on my waist.

"Better?" He said. I just smiled and nodded. He pulled me in for a kiss as I put my hands around his neck. This moment was so right. It was the rightest thing I've done. I felt free, I felt like nothing is wrong. Like I am this normal teenage girl. Like I am like everyone else. Like I was safe.

But it was starting to get cold, and reality caught up to us.

"Can we go? I'm getting cold.." I said. He just kissed me one more time, took my hand, and leaded me to the door. We ran to his car. He, like always, opened my door and I got in. We drove off after.

"Well now that we are back to normal…" He said and smiled. "Are you sure about the 'public' thing? I mean, if you think that's what I desperately want, it's not. I like the way things are now, it won't change anything for me. It's up to you."

"I'm sure." I said, and smiled at him. He was so happy.

"Well come on" He said, and stopped the car. It was his house, and we walked in. It was the same as I remembered. We got in.

"Can I shower?" I asked. He smiled and kissed me. That meant yes, so I went to shower. I, yet again forgot that I have no clothes here. I was in a bath robe when I came out. He was on his laptop, and looked at me. He smiled. I melted a little.

"I have no clean clothes" I said in my child-voice. He started to laugh and took my hand. He took me upstairs.

"I don't know what are your intentions Harry" I said, jokingly "But if I get pregnant, you grandchildren will be bipolar." He started to laugh.

"Well, you've got the wrong idea." He said, still laughing. He got some clothes out of his closet, and gave them to me.

I wore his boxers, a t-shirt and a hoodie. "All better?" He asked, and I nodded.

We went downstairs, and we sat on the couch and cuddled. I dried my hair, and put it up in a high bun.

"How do we do this?" I asked. I was referring to 'going public'.

"Twitter? Or you want to wait until the next interview." He said. "Twitter is better." He added, and smiled.

"Twitter it is." I said, and kissed him.

He took a photo of me unexpected. I didn't look that bad, but like any girl, I had to comment.

"No!! I look like troll! I look like Hagrid with my hair in a bun and no beard!" He started to laugh. But I let him post it.

'Isn't she gorgeous? :)' and then uploaded the picture on instagram, and automatically on twitter.

"Oh come on. You call this 'going public'?" I said, and laughed.

"Patience my young apprentice. What I will do, you shall see." He said.

"Worst-Yoda-impression-ever!" I said, pausing after every word, and started laughing.

"Like you can do it better !" He said, also joking.

"I can, Oh yes." I said. We both started to laugh. It wasn't' that funny, but it was in the atmosphere. We watched Star Wars, because we became obsessed with talking like Yoda. After we watched Star Wars episode I, he turned to me.

"Do you want to check twitter?" He asked politely.

"Yeah" I said, as he opened his laptop, and went on twitter. We saw the worldwide trends. There was a trend 'who is she'

Harry clicked on it, and it was about my photo. We read some of them:

'Yes Harry, but who is she?'

'OMG BEAUTIFUL! Harry I have to know, please tell us WHO IS SHE?!?!'

And many like that. There were also rude ones, but he didn't let me read them.

"Come on Harry, please, please, please, pleaseeeeeeeeeee" I said, using my puppy eyes.

So he fell for it, and we read them.

'Who is she? She looks like a troll, no offense.'

"TOLD YOU! TROLL!" I shouted, happy that I was right. He started to laugh really hard.

"Ready?" He asked, as he wrote:

'This is my girl everyone, @JennaPetrova. Please no hate. She makes me happy : )'

I nodded, and he pressed 'post tweet.'

After few seconds, he turned to me and smiled. I started laughing, and he just kissed me. It was around 6pm.

"Well, I wanted to ask you a few days ago, but you know…you went co-co" He said, and started laughing.

"Yeah, I was bored." I said, acting all casual, and then started to laugh. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Well, would you like to go on a date with me? Our second date to be exact." He said, and smiled. He was too cute, how can I refuse.

"I would love to" I said, and kissed him on the cheek. I tackled me, and few moments after, he was lying on me. I just laughed. He kissed me a few times, and got up. He puled my hand, and got me up too.

"Well, bye" he said. I raised my eyebrows, I was confused. "Well, you are not going to have our second date in my clothes. Come on" He said and took me to his car. He than dropped me off home.

"I'll pick you up at 9?" He said.

"9 is fine" I said, and then added "Wow, I can write songs with my talent of riming." He started to laugh and, I got in my house. I talked to my mom a little, and then went upstairs to get ready.

I got my phone out, and had a million missed calls from Britney, Lucy and Chelsea. As I got in my room, Leena came out of hers.

"Oh my god, I am so happy" She hugged me. We almost fell.

I told her about what we did, she listen to me with happiness in every 'and then?'. After that, My phone rang. It was Britney

"OH MY GOD JEN!" She said. I couldn't tell if she is happy, or mad.

"What?" I asked, and laughed.

"I am so happy, you have no idea. Why didn't you tell us-" She didn't finish her sentence, when I heard Chelsea in the back

"Let's go to Starbucks to talk, come on I've been waiting for that all day!" I started to laugh.

"I can't today, maybe tomorrow?" I said.

"Ok, ok, but don't forget ok? ok." Said Britney, than hung up because I told her that I needed to go downstairs and eat. I didn't though. I went to get dressed in my clothes. After that Lucy called me.

"Hey" I answered.

"Are you ok? How did it go this morning?" She asked. I didn't go to school, so I can go to the clinic to get diagnosed.

"Yeah. I'm bipolar. But I'm taking some medications, and I'm going to therapy from next week, so I will be ok" I said.

"Oh, thank god !" She said with relief. "Oh and congrats on Harry" She said.

"Yeah, thanks." I said. It was different talking to Lucy, than talking to Britney and Chelsea.

"Since when are you together?" She asked, curious.

"Few weeks" I said. "You want to come over?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few" She said, and came in 10 minutes.

When I opened the door she hugged me.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. She was really concerned.

"Ok, I guess" I answered.

After, we went upstairs. I told her about almost everything. And ended my story with today.

"Awwwwwwwwww" She said, she seemed happy. "I am really… I can't find words" She said, and started to tear up. I laughed, because she wasn't crying because she was sad, she was crying because she was happy. She hugged me. After, it was 8:30 so I started to get ready and Lucy helped me pick an outfit. She had a nice sense of fashion, so she made a great combination for me. She then left, and I waited for Harry. While I was waiting, I logged on to twitter. I had so many new followers, and mentions. I read some of them, and most of them were not supporting our relationship. I just laughed, and found the girl that said I was a troll. I followed her, because she said I was a troll, even though she didn't like me. I copied her tweet about me being a troll and added: @Harry_Styles, TOLD YOU! TROLL!!

I heard the door bell. It was exactly 9 o'clock. I heard him say hello to my mom and Rob. I went down the stairs. They chatted a bit, and we left.

"So, where are we going?" I asked. He smiled, and didn't answer me. He just opened the door, and I got in.

Harry's POV

I didn't tell her. When we both were in the car, I took a box from the back sit, and gave it to her. It was a red box, with birds.

"What is this?" She asked, and smiled confusingly.

"For you. Open it." I said. She took the box and opened it.

"Oh…my…god" She said. "It's a polaroid camera! I've been wanting this since I was little! How did you know?" She asked. The way I knew was her diary. When I was in the car, going to the hospital after we took the diary, I listed few pages at the beginning. I read something really beautiful.

'…And so, I want a polaroid camera. It is the best thing invented. It let's you capture a moment, and makes sure you never forget it. That's the amazing thing, isn't it? Being able to re-live some things only by looking a picture, or hearing a song. It's the best way to remember something. The moments we live now, we can never get back. It would be nice if you could save them.'

I promised myself that if she survives this, I will save every moment I have with her.

"Doesn't matter" I said, and smiled.

"Well, I love it. Thank you" She said sincerely and her mouth curved into a perfect smile. It made me happy that she is happy. I leaned in and kissed her. She took a picture, with her hand of us kissing. She put the picture in her bag and then said.

"Get use to this" I started to laugh and so did she. I drove off. I took her to a restaurant. Since we were public, there was no need for sneaking around. He appetite was back, and I was happy. She was going back to normal, like nothing bad ever happened. I liked the person I was when I was with her. She could be so mature and a child at the same time. She was perfect.

My phone rang. I didn't want to answer.

"You can take it Harry" She said, and smiled.

"It will be a moment" I said, and answered it. "Hello?"

It was Liam, asking where I am and what I was doing. It was a quick chat, and I hung up.

After dinner, when we got out, there were few paparazzi.

"Ignore them" I whispered to her.

"K, k" She said. We walked to the car, and drove off.

"Where are you taking me now?" She asked, because we were going on a more deserted road.

"You remember the place where we made wishes with the balloons?" I asked her.

"Yes." She said.

"Well, I made few wishes, and some of them came true." I said.

"I hope none of them were me being bipolar, because if they were-" She said joking. I laughed, and she laughed with me. We got on the same hill, but it was night. We could see the light from the city. And when we looked up, the sky has cleared. There were starts, and the moon was half-full.

"When we came here, like I said I made few wishes." I started to talk. We were standing really close, and stared at each others eyes. "One of them was to kiss you that night, and I did. So it came true." I said. She smiled, like she knew what I was talking about, like her wish came true too. I didn't look much into it. I was so nervous, my heart was about to jump out of my chest. "Another wish was that we can go public, and you will be happy about it." I said. "This came true today." I paused. "And the wish I wanted the most to come true…" I couldn't say it. I was too nervous.

"What is it Harry?" She said. Her voice gave me unexplained strength.

"The wish I wanted to most to come true, was to fall in love with you." I said. Her eyes widely opened. She didn't expect that…I think. "So…Jenna, I love you" I said. I think she could hear my heart. I couldn't make it beat any slower. Her eyes filled with tears. Some of them fell on her cheeks. "Don't cry" I said, as I whipped the tears off her face.

"I love you too" She said through her tears. I pulled her into a kiss. It was the most amazing kiss ever. Better than the first. It was full of emotions, and it felt perfect. She then pulled away, still having tears in her eyes.

"You know, that day I wished for many random things. One of them was 'perfection'." She said, and paused "That night when you kissed me, I thought I felt what was perfection. That was nowhere near this, right now." She said, and smiled. More tears fell from her eyes. Watching her like that, made me cry. I was so happy, I couldn't explain it. It felt so right. She felt so right. As we were staring at each others eyes, she took a photo with her camera. and said "I want to remember this forever." And got on her tippy toes and kissed me. She then again took a photo. I started to tickle her, and she kept on taking photos. I felt so free with her.

We stayed out until 1am. Or maybe 2. Then, her mom called, and I took her home. I pulled over in front of her house.

"This was perfect" She said.

"I couldn't think of a better way…" I said. She smiled and we leaned in for a kiss. It was weird. Every time I kissed her, I felt the sparks. I don't think it will ever leave us.

Notes