It Takes Patience
Chapter 46: In order to Progress
When my taxi finally got me to the airport, I paid the fare and ran inside. I got to Channel’s gate and I saw her and Laurie sitting and waiting patiently while laughing and talking. I tried to apologize to Channel for being late, but she didn’t seem angry and for that I was grateful.
Channel and I walked to the Starbucks in the airport while Laurie waited by her luggage and it gave me a little time to talk to her one on one before she’s gone.
“So how did it go? You’re in yesterday’s clothes...” Channel trailed off and her mention of my clothing made my lip quiver and my eyes glaze over. She looked at me closely and grabbed my hand in hers.
“Hey, what happened Rea? You know you can tell me. It’s gonna be ok. Don’t cry.”
“It’s not okay Nel, it’s not.” I bit down on my tongue to stop my tears from falling but my voice was raspy as if they were already. Channel pulled me out of the line and into the women’s bathroom checking the stalls for feet before she spoke. When a lady left, she eyed us suspiciously causing Channel to lock the door behind the woman and damn near push her out of the bathroom.
“Now tell me. I’ve cleared an entire bathroom for you.” Channel grinned trying to get me to smile. I wanted to but I couldn’t.
“I had sex with Peyton.” As I said it the tears returned streaming down my cheeks leaving splatter marks on my shirt.
“Oh babes that’s okay...as long as you guys were safe.”
“No Channel it’s not okay! I really don’t remember it. I don't remember how it happened. I was drunk and it was a mistake. I was supposed to be breaking it off with him for H. This wasn't supposed to happen! I love Harry and I cheated on him” I ran my hands through my hair tugging at it in my despaired moment. Everything ran together and came out so quickly that I'm surprised that Channel caught a word.
“Woah Rea what? Love Harry? You love Harry?”
“Yes I told him the other night when we all went out. I know its quick but I do. I love him. I love him so much an I don’t want to hurt him but I feel like I already have so many times before and this is going to ruin everything.” I took a deep breath after talking a thousand miles a minute and the tears continued to run down my face. Channel grabbed a paper towel and wiped my eyes before she spoke.
“Rea, calm down. How do you know that you had sex with Peyton if you don’t remember and more importantly why don’t you remember?”
“I woke up naked Nel! Naked in his bed both of our clothes were on the floor and he told me all about it. We were both drunk off wine. I told you, you're not listening! I don’t know, I don't know" I shake my head quickly still in disbelief with myself "but I fucked up so bad, I ran out before I could even break up with him.” Channel wiped my eyes again as a new batch of tears started to fall.
“What did Harry say to you when you told him you loved him?”
“He thinks I’m confused because I said it when we were fuc- having sex.” I caught myself before I could finish the word. Its not just fucking anymore, not for me. Channel scrunched up her face in distaste before she scolded me.
“I can see why he feels that way Rea. You could have picked a better time to say so. How do you know that you love him and not just his dick?” I rolled my eyes at Channel and could feel myself getting ready to get defensive, but before I could snap Channel opened her mouth again.
“I’m sorry, Rea I’m trying, I am. The best thing that I can tell you is don’t tell Harry yet if you want any kind of relationship with him to work out. Wait until you get more serious and have more of a foundation before you break something that’s barely there.” I calmed myself as much as possible before we got back in the line and got our coffee. I know Channel is right, but I don’t know if I will be able to keep it from him.
When Channel’s plane was ready to start boarding, Laurie and I hugged her and told her to have a safe flight before she was gone. Even though I almost want to fight her when she talks about Harry, I am going to miss her. I love that I had someone to talk to about the situation despite the fact that I was still left confused about how to deal with everything thrown at me at once.
Laurie and I got a taxi together back to our apartment and as soon as I got in my flat, I made a bee line for the shower. The warm water engulfed my body and as it rolled off me and down the drain I hoped that it would wash off the mistake I made with Peyton right along with everything else. When I got out of the shower I wrapped myself in my bath robe and ended up drifting to sleep in my bed.
I woke up and got dressed thirty minutes later in my most comfortable clothes. I’m not planning on leaving my apartment today unless H. needs me. Even then I know it will be hard to face him after what I’ve done. When I checked my phone I had a missed call and text from Peyton. I deleted both without wanting to hear the message or read anything that he had to say and sat down in the living room to watch TV when I got another text.
From: Harry! Pleassssse?!
What are you doing glasses? I’m borrrrrrrred. :(
I chuckled slightly to myself before I replied.
To: Harry! Pleassssse?!
You seem to be in a better mood than yesterday afternoon. Where are your friends or your sister?
From: Harry! Pleassssse?!
I’m with Gemma Anne now. She’s driving me crazier! I’ve been chauffeuring her around all morning looking at houses for her. She’s planning on moving soon. We’re on our way home now. And everyone is out on a date with their girlfriends...I’m left lonely :(. No one wants to hang out with me and I'm tired of looking at Gemma's face.
Harry ignored my earlier statement and answered my question. I need to know what was bothering him yesterday.
To: Harry! Pleassssse?!
Stop saying that you’re crazy H., you’re not... What are you getting at anyway?
From: Harry! Pleassssse?!
...I don’t know. Do you want to hang out or something? Watch a movie? Go out for a late lunch? I’m almost up for anything right now...almost. I’m bored! :,(
To: Harry! Pleassssse?!
I guess a movie is fine. I have Netflix we can watch something on there. I don’t really feel like leaving out today...You can come over here and watch. Channel is gone.
Harry replied and told me that he would be here in twenty minutes giving me a little time to curl my hair so it could fall in waves down my back. I know H. likes it when I wear my hair down, and the day he told me I was beautiful, it was curled. I hear a knock on my door and take a final glance in the mirror before I rush to open it.
Harry is so sexy, all the time and he doesn’t even realize it or try to be. His hair is pushed back off of his face not in a quiff, but in a rolled up bandanna. He wore his signature black skinny jeans that were rolled slightly at the ankle revealing his tattoos and a white t-shirt, but this time instead of his boots or convers he had on neon yellow and white Nike running shoes.
“You look like you’re going to be active today. Planning on going for a jog?” Harry pursed his lips together in a hard line trying not to look amused as he entered the apartment with a bag.
“I’m barely in and you’re already talking shit. I’m comfortable okay?” Harry set the bag on the counter and glared at me out the corner of his eye before grinning.
“What’s in the bag?” I walk over to the counter where H. is standing and try to peer over his shoulder but he moves the bag and turns around with something in his mouth.
“Sweets, but I don’t know if you should have any now because you’re so mean.” Harry talked with his mouth full of some kind of taffy and it made me laugh. I tried to get the bag of candy from him, but he ended up hoisting me over his shoulder and carrying me to the couch.
“So what movie are we watching? It better be good, glasses.” Harry put the bag of goodies between us on the couch and I pouted slightly while grabbing the remote to turn on the movie. I know I don’t deserve to be here with him. If he knew what I did, I’m sure he wouldn’t be here right now, but the selfish part of me still wants to cuddle next to him on the couch.
“The Immortals, I haven’t seen it yet.” Harry scrunched his nose and eyebrows before responding.
“How have you not seen it yet? Its years old now! It’s ancient!” I rolled my eyes and sat down on one end of the couch leaving Harry on the other.
As the movie started, Harry took off his shoes and put his legs on the couch while draping his elbow on the arm rest and placing his face on his hand. He moved again ten minutes into the film putting his back against the armrest of the couch so now his body was fully facing me. I glanced over at him and grinned before turning my attention back to the television. This is reminding me of my first time with him. He’s so fidgety and cute and my body tingles every time I feel him change positions on the couch.
I was wrapped up in the movie but I could feel H. staring at me causing me to flush under his gaze. Harry moved closer to me and wrapped both of his arms around my waist before pulling me to lie back on the couch against him with my head resting on his chest. I didn’t fight him on it and I know that this is what I want. Being wrapped in his arms is all need to feel happy. It’s not sensible thinking, but then again I haven’t thought sensibly sense I’ve met Harry. Here is where I need to be. I feel safe, needed and protected all at once as I lay here with him, with the man that I have come to love in such a short amount of time.
The movie started off good and I’m sure it ended that way, but after the first fifteen minutes of it I didn’t see much else. Harry kept tickling and bothering me and not to mention the heavy make out sessions that would happen every so often between tickle breaks. We both ended up falling asleep on the couch after a while with the movie still running.
I jolted up out of the dream that I was having. I don’t know if I can say it was a nightmare, but it certainly wasn’t a good dream. I had relived the events of earlier this morning and guilt started to consume me when I looked up at Harry who was now flipping through the channels and slightly shaking one of his legs under me while I lay on his chest. He looked down at me before smirking and showing one of his dimples.
“Gahh! thank God you’re awake now I’ve really got to wee but I didn’t want to be rude and push you off of me.” Harry spoke quickly and I could barely comprehend what he was saying.
“Ugh! Move glasses?! Please? I’ve gotta piss!” I sat up and let Harry off the couch so that he could go to the bathroom and as he did, I looked at the clock. It was already nine thirty. Harry had let me sleep on him for three hours. When he came out of the bathroom, he sat back down in the same spot and pulled me against his chest again and again I didn’t fight him. It felt so natural.
“What was wrong with you yesterday? What did you want to talk to me about?” I could feel Harry tense up under me and I started to feel as if I was going to ruin the whole relaxed mood with my question, but to my surprise he answered me calmly.
“My mum keeps talking to me about marrying Robin...” Harry trailed off and I sat up so that I could look him in the eyes.
“Harry, it’s fine to be worried. What you went through with Cl-”
“Please don’t say his name.” My heart sunk but I continued to talk.
“What you went through with him was traumatic. Anyone in your position would be worried or even afraid that their mom is getting remarried, but you have to know in your heart that Robin is different. Do you get the same feel from Robin that you did from the last one?” I could tell that Harry was uncomfortable talking about it, but it was good and showed major progress that he was even honest enough to tell me when I asked. This is something that I will be sure to add into my paper and documents.
“No, but I don’t trust him...I don’t trust me around him. He’ll be living there after they marry. My mum loves her house too much to move in with Robin so they agreed on him moving in there with us. I can’t stay there after he moves in. I won’t.” I can see the panic in Harry’s eyes and I try my best to calm it.
“Harry, you only did what you did because you had to. You had no other choice. If you didn’t, I think you would be the one not here today. You won’t hurt anyone else.” Harry turned his face away from me and back to the television
“Easy for you to say glasses. Let’s talk about something else.” Harry sighed under his breath and pulled me back against him. I changed the subject and a lighter mood came back into the room. I asked Harry what his tattoos meant and when I got to the the rose tattoo on his arm he grinned while taking his phone out of his pocket to check in with Paul before he answered.
“I don’t know, nothing really. I just liked it...It kind of reminds me of you.....Paul!” Harry spoke to Paul on the phone and the idea that he got this tattoo because it reminded him of me danced in my mind. When he got off the phone he kissed my forehead before he started to put on his shoes.
“Where are you going?” Harry opened his eyes widely and grinned at me before he answered.
“I’ve got to go home.”
“No you don’t! Pleasee? Just stay with me here tonight.” I was whining but I don’t care. I don’t want him to go and now that Channel is gone, I’m starting to get spoiled to him being here and this is only the first time he has been since she left.
“Just tell your mom you’re at Niall’s house or Louis and Zayn’s. Please H.?” Harry gave me an amused look and took my chin between his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up to look at him before he bit at my bottom lip.
“If I stay we can’t fuck.” I nodded my head in agreement. That’s the last thing I needed to do right now especially since my huge indiscretion last night. I just want to be close to H. and since sex is out of the cards right now actual sleeping will have to do...though I do wish he didn’t bite my bottom lip the way he did. It sent sensual shivers down my spine.
Harry took his phone out again and I smiled when he told his mom he wasn’t coming home tonight. I could hear her protest through the phone but Harry assured and reassured her that he would be fine. When he got off the phone I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. I grabbed a towel to take another shower before bed and when I came out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel, Harry was sitting against the headboard with the tv on under my sheets. The covers lay on top of his bottom half allowing my eyes to take in his bare torso and chest. This is the way I love to see him most. His hair was now free of the bandanna and wild I’m sure from him rubbing his hands through it and his clothes were crumpled in a heap beside the bed.
“Uggh that’s not fair glasses.” I looked at him confused and he answered the question that was in my head.
“I’m trying so hard not to fuck you so we can know each other without sex being the basis of whatever this is we have going, and you walk in here in a towel with your hair wet begging me to bang you into oblivion without saying it.” My eyes widened in shock at his words and my insides clenched while Harry ran a hand through his hair with furrowed eyebrows and sat back against the headboard sighing heavily. He’s right we need this period of sex free time. I definitely need it right now, even though my body seems to disagree.
“I’m sorry. I forgot my clothes I’m just grabbing them and I’ll change in the bathroom.” When I came back out Harry attacked me. He pulled me on top of him and kissed me so hard I thought that my lips would bleed. I kissed him back with the same fervor and I could feel his erection grow against my stomach. He broke the kiss and looked me in the eyes before grinning at me devilishly and the words left my lips involuntarily again.
“I love you Harry.” H. flashed me a quick grin before his face went serious.
“Do you really?” Harry’s eyes searched mine with some uncertainty before I answered.
“Yes, so much it scares me.” He turned us in the bed so that we were facing each other before he spoke.
“You have to give me time...I know I haven’t said it, but I’ll get there...it takes a lot for me now...You just have to be patient with me.” I shook my head in understanding knowing that if I have to, I will give him all the time that he needs. Harry pulled me to lie on his chest again and I listened to his breathing change as he drifted off to sleep.
Hi guys here's an update for you all cuz I love you!. Thank you for all of the comments lol I'm glad I can pull emotion from you guys with the story. What did you think of this chapter? Is Reagan wrong for not telling Harry right off the bat what happened? I saw some responses in regards to that but I want to see more! Give me your opinion in the comments below and be sure to vote and subscribe if you haven't already if you're liking it so far. Only a few more chapters of this one to go before the sequel starts! LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING Xx :D!