Nothing
Chapter 6
PAIGES POV:
From: HIM
Hi Paige. I know we haven't spoken in about a month now, and I think it's better of this way. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way. So, probably about noon, I'm stopping by to drop of the rest of your things that never got back to you. Hope you have a good morning.
That's the text I wake up to this morning.
To: HIM
That's fine. See you later.
I could've written more but it's better that I keep everything short and sweet for now. It's only 9am. I have nothing to do. Don't need breakfast. Not planning on lunch. I know I will be forced dinner. I'm going to have to get rid of the dinner afterwards. This day is not starting off very well.
~~~~
*knock**knock* I look at the clock. 12:05 pm. It's him. I already got all dressed up in my outfit for tonight so Chris wouldn't think I let myself go. I take a deep breath and open the door.
There he is.
He's there, holding a big cardboard box. He smirks at me trying to lighten the mood. I keep my face the way it is. He drops the smirk and holds the box out which I quickly snatch away from him. "You good?" He asks. "And you care because...?" I say bluntly. He nods. "Got it. Well, I mean, when we last spoke it was pretty heated to say the least. I said certain things I probably shouldn't and" "Yeah you did." I snipped back at him. "Yeah I know I did. So, I want to make sure you're still, ya know, healthy and eating and" "I'm fine." I cut him off. "Right well you just seem to look a bit skinny Paige." "It's my body." He hits his hand against his forehead and wipes his whole face. "Yep, your body. Ok hen. I'm gonna head out because I have plans." he says. I peek over his shoulder and lock eyes with a brunette girl sitting in the front seat of his car. I hold back my anger and urge to slap him straight across the face. "Thanks for my things. Now, I have to go to because I have.....a date." I quickly covered up. His eyes widened. "Really. With who?" "This guy. Tonight." "when I said with who, I kind of wanted to know who the guy is." "Right. Liam Payne." He didn't say anything. "That boy who sings and prances around a stage serenading to 10 year old girls? That Liam Payne?" He snaps at me. I shrug my shoulders. "I mean I highly doubt that due to how attractive he is, but I guess. I don't know much about the guy." I honestly say. "You've seriously never heard of One Direction? Babe, even I know those faggots." He called me babe. "Ok, listen up here, I don't think Liam is a faggot. Shut yo face. I may not have a strong argument due to the fact that I know nothing about them but they are 100% not faggots. You're just a jealous douche." I snap at him. He says nothing. "Bye now." I say as I slam the door in his face. I smile as for I was pleased with myself.
But, he was with another girl. Who was way prettier than me. I grit my teeth and ball my hands up in fists. I tightly tug at the ends of my hair. I sit on the couch and start hitting my thighs, creating big red blotches. They burn, but I can deal with the pain at this point. I can't stand how he was the love of my life. He's the one who kept me going, the one who I revolved my life around. The douchebag who standing right in front of me, was the one who healed my wounds. Well, not anymore. And I can prove it. I run up the stairs into my bathroom and grab my razor. The thick, long blades can do so much more than create smooth surfaces on the skin. If you dig deep enough and put just the right amount or pressure, you can create such deep, red, and painful cuts along any part of the body. I'm a master at this stuff by now. I take my razor, and dig it deep into my thigh, making long, red and irritated cuts everywhere. The blood immediately pours down my entire upper leg, dripping down slowly onto my white throw rug. I continue to work on the same cut repeatedly until it's too painful for me to bear, then I stop. I put the razor back in the shower, I take a towel, dab water on it, and wipe the blood off of my leg. I place a bandage over my cuts, and continues on with my day as usual. No matter how lost or depressed I think I am, cutting myself, harming my body seems to help me. It only helps for a good minute or two but it gets my mind off of the entire world and my life, and focuses on wounded leg. Most people find it disturbing and that something is wrong with people like me. I love myself. Well, definitely not ALL of myself, but the idea that I can control my body and what I do to it.
~~~~~
It's 7:30pm. I don't have Liam number, he said "tonight", so I figure I should start heading down to town. I'm all set, all perfumed, but then I remember, I'm wearing shorts. He'll notice. I quickly scurry upstairs and pile the foundation onto my leg. I even it all out, and you an barely see it. Well, let's just say it's good enough. I run back down the stairs, catch my breath, and begin my walk down the busy streets of LA.
As I walk, I take notice of all the people. Some dressed like I normally do, and some dressed like I am now. I know I said I don't care what people think of me, but it's not everyday a celebrity asks you out. I mean I think he'll definitely be pleased with me like this due to the fact that he liked me when I was, well, what I was before. I also look at the couples. It destroys me on the inside. I really am nothing. I mean, the things I do to myself is god awful, but I can't change. I know I never will be able to.
I walk past the bar I'm supposed to meet Liam at. I peek in, don't see him. I continue on down the street until I hit the corner. I turn back around and go towards the bar, where I see him. Leaning against the bench, casually overlooking everyone like me. He looks, flawless to say the least. Wearing an adorable snapback hat, a black V-neck t-shirt that shows part of his chest hair, a grey drawstring sweatshirt, with black sweatpants. So cuddly and hot. I wanted to pounce. When I see something I like, I go for it. But I remember: it's NOT a date. Well, that's what he said. I can think differently.
I slowly approach him and tap his shoulder. "Paige! Hi love how are you?" He asks me excitedly as he pulls me into a hug. He smelled amazing. He was so big and strong and warm. I could melt in his arms. I wish I could stay there forever. But we parted. "I'm doing great, now." I smile and he smiles back. "You good?" I ask. "Course I am. Now." He smiles once again making me blush. "So shall we head on in?" I ask as I start walking in front of him but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back to him. "Well, not to put a damper on the night or anything babe but I checked in the before and saw a bunch of papz. So do you mind if I take a rain check on the bar? We can always do that another time love. Perhaps we go for a walk or something by the lake? Get to talk a bit more?" "No problem! Trust me, it's fine. I think a walk sounds beautiful right about now. As long as I'm with you I'll be fine. I don't care how corny that sounds it'll be just nice to get away from a lot of things." I babble to the poor kid. He beams at me. "Perfect. Let's go my lady." He says as we walk down to the boardwalk.
From: HIM
Hi Paige. I know we haven't spoken in about a month now, and I think it's better of this way. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way. So, probably about noon, I'm stopping by to drop of the rest of your things that never got back to you. Hope you have a good morning.
That's the text I wake up to this morning.
To: HIM
That's fine. See you later.
I could've written more but it's better that I keep everything short and sweet for now. It's only 9am. I have nothing to do. Don't need breakfast. Not planning on lunch. I know I will be forced dinner. I'm going to have to get rid of the dinner afterwards. This day is not starting off very well.
~~~~
*knock**knock* I look at the clock. 12:05 pm. It's him. I already got all dressed up in my outfit for tonight so Chris wouldn't think I let myself go. I take a deep breath and open the door.
There he is.
He's there, holding a big cardboard box. He smirks at me trying to lighten the mood. I keep my face the way it is. He drops the smirk and holds the box out which I quickly snatch away from him. "You good?" He asks. "And you care because...?" I say bluntly. He nods. "Got it. Well, I mean, when we last spoke it was pretty heated to say the least. I said certain things I probably shouldn't and" "Yeah you did." I snipped back at him. "Yeah I know I did. So, I want to make sure you're still, ya know, healthy and eating and" "I'm fine." I cut him off. "Right well you just seem to look a bit skinny Paige." "It's my body." He hits his hand against his forehead and wipes his whole face. "Yep, your body. Ok hen. I'm gonna head out because I have plans." he says. I peek over his shoulder and lock eyes with a brunette girl sitting in the front seat of his car. I hold back my anger and urge to slap him straight across the face. "Thanks for my things. Now, I have to go to because I have.....a date." I quickly covered up. His eyes widened. "Really. With who?" "This guy. Tonight." "when I said with who, I kind of wanted to know who the guy is." "Right. Liam Payne." He didn't say anything. "That boy who sings and prances around a stage serenading to 10 year old girls? That Liam Payne?" He snaps at me. I shrug my shoulders. "I mean I highly doubt that due to how attractive he is, but I guess. I don't know much about the guy." I honestly say. "You've seriously never heard of One Direction? Babe, even I know those faggots." He called me babe. "Ok, listen up here, I don't think Liam is a faggot. Shut yo face. I may not have a strong argument due to the fact that I know nothing about them but they are 100% not faggots. You're just a jealous douche." I snap at him. He says nothing. "Bye now." I say as I slam the door in his face. I smile as for I was pleased with myself.
But, he was with another girl. Who was way prettier than me. I grit my teeth and ball my hands up in fists. I tightly tug at the ends of my hair. I sit on the couch and start hitting my thighs, creating big red blotches. They burn, but I can deal with the pain at this point. I can't stand how he was the love of my life. He's the one who kept me going, the one who I revolved my life around. The douchebag who standing right in front of me, was the one who healed my wounds. Well, not anymore. And I can prove it. I run up the stairs into my bathroom and grab my razor. The thick, long blades can do so much more than create smooth surfaces on the skin. If you dig deep enough and put just the right amount or pressure, you can create such deep, red, and painful cuts along any part of the body. I'm a master at this stuff by now. I take my razor, and dig it deep into my thigh, making long, red and irritated cuts everywhere. The blood immediately pours down my entire upper leg, dripping down slowly onto my white throw rug. I continue to work on the same cut repeatedly until it's too painful for me to bear, then I stop. I put the razor back in the shower, I take a towel, dab water on it, and wipe the blood off of my leg. I place a bandage over my cuts, and continues on with my day as usual. No matter how lost or depressed I think I am, cutting myself, harming my body seems to help me. It only helps for a good minute or two but it gets my mind off of the entire world and my life, and focuses on wounded leg. Most people find it disturbing and that something is wrong with people like me. I love myself. Well, definitely not ALL of myself, but the idea that I can control my body and what I do to it.
~~~~~
It's 7:30pm. I don't have Liam number, he said "tonight", so I figure I should start heading down to town. I'm all set, all perfumed, but then I remember, I'm wearing shorts. He'll notice. I quickly scurry upstairs and pile the foundation onto my leg. I even it all out, and you an barely see it. Well, let's just say it's good enough. I run back down the stairs, catch my breath, and begin my walk down the busy streets of LA.
As I walk, I take notice of all the people. Some dressed like I normally do, and some dressed like I am now. I know I said I don't care what people think of me, but it's not everyday a celebrity asks you out. I mean I think he'll definitely be pleased with me like this due to the fact that he liked me when I was, well, what I was before. I also look at the couples. It destroys me on the inside. I really am nothing. I mean, the things I do to myself is god awful, but I can't change. I know I never will be able to.
I walk past the bar I'm supposed to meet Liam at. I peek in, don't see him. I continue on down the street until I hit the corner. I turn back around and go towards the bar, where I see him. Leaning against the bench, casually overlooking everyone like me. He looks, flawless to say the least. Wearing an adorable snapback hat, a black V-neck t-shirt that shows part of his chest hair, a grey drawstring sweatshirt, with black sweatpants. So cuddly and hot. I wanted to pounce. When I see something I like, I go for it. But I remember: it's NOT a date. Well, that's what he said. I can think differently.
I slowly approach him and tap his shoulder. "Paige! Hi love how are you?" He asks me excitedly as he pulls me into a hug. He smelled amazing. He was so big and strong and warm. I could melt in his arms. I wish I could stay there forever. But we parted. "I'm doing great, now." I smile and he smiles back. "You good?" I ask. "Course I am. Now." He smiles once again making me blush. "So shall we head on in?" I ask as I start walking in front of him but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back to him. "Well, not to put a damper on the night or anything babe but I checked in the before and saw a bunch of papz. So do you mind if I take a rain check on the bar? We can always do that another time love. Perhaps we go for a walk or something by the lake? Get to talk a bit more?" "No problem! Trust me, it's fine. I think a walk sounds beautiful right about now. As long as I'm with you I'll be fine. I don't care how corny that sounds it'll be just nice to get away from a lot of things." I babble to the poor kid. He beams at me. "Perfect. Let's go my lady." He says as we walk down to the boardwalk.
Notes
okay now I didn't think I would get another update in today but I did! ur welcome:) you guyz r lucky that I cant sleep. okay tbh, this chapter seemed a lot longer than I thought but im just too tired to write anymore. I cant writ the rest of the date tonight im sorry!btw @tommotomlinson3 I miss u:)
Paige's Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=95370488
tehehe;)
8/27/13