The Perfect Nightmare
Chapter 3
I just gotten to Spencer’s from work still wondering why he hadn’t picked me up like he usually did, I would have just gone home but Harry’s talk persuaded me to speak to him tonight about everything; my body was aching to rest. I threw my bag and jumper onto the couch while heading upstairs. I was always at work; we didn’t really see each other, unless he was picking me up or it late at night where we were both with one another. Once I approached the door, I heard a familiar moan. I slowly pushed the door open seeing Spencer and a blonde kissing passionately while he was on top of her.
“Spencer?!" I spoke as my face filled with worry. They both shot their eyes at me.
"Who is that?” the curvy blonde scowled.
“I’m his girlfriend!" I wept as I rolled my eyes. All I could think of is how Harry would say ‘I told you so’. The blonde got up looking at Spencer with disgust and walked out of his flat, slamming his front door behind her.
I needed to deal with Spencer.
“Explain" I said. He looked up to me.
“We never see each-” I cut him off.
“So since we never see each other, you think that’s okay?” I said to him. I scoffed then added, “I bet if I hadn’t come here, you would’ve had sex with her". Spencer got up and put his hands on me. “Get off; you touched her, just like you would touch me!" I objected.
“It’s different!” he said rolling his deep blue eyes.
“Fuck you." I yelled.
“Shut your mouth!" I jumped at his words.
“Spencer... how could you? Is this why you’ve been so attached to me lately?!”
“It meant nothing; I swear." His deep voice sending chills down my spine while reaching for my shoulder.
“I fucking hate you!" I screamed as one silent tear I tried to hold back fell down my cheek.
I covered my ears in a desperate attempt to block out all the bad things Spencer was saying towards me, his body towering over mine, he choked on a word and all the yelling and screaming had stopped, his lips parted as he absorbed the image of the frightened girl beneath him, his eyebrows knitting together as he frowned with worry. I gulped as he leant down to me, my head turning ever so slightly; it wasn’t the first time I had denied a kiss. He pulled me towards him “Let go of me.” I shouted, startling him.
Spencer didn’t listen, he was still touching me. He pulled me closer. I tried to push my way out so that he couldn’t hold onto me, my hair falling and obscuring my vision and I pounded his chest, fisting the cloth between my fingers.
“Spencer, let go of me, you’re hurting me!" I screamed realising it was something I should have been used to. I had almost wriggled my petite figure away from him when he pulled me in roughly and leant down for a kiss this time holding my chin between his thumb and index finger making me reminisce of when Harry touched me like that.
“Please... I need you in my life, I’m sorry, I just don’t want to lose you, and I won’t do it again." he begged. I looked up at the redness in his eyes, he was about to cry, the water was building up by his sockets, it was a sight I wasn’t used to.
"No, I hate you, my life has been so miserable since you started to hurt me!" I spat as I felt him wipe my tears away.
“Please stay.” he pleaded as I turned to walk out, I came to a unexpected stop when he pulled on my forearm, stopping me from leaving and pulling me in, wrapping his arms around my body, his scent suffocating me as I remembered the boy I loved and wondered what had happened to him.
Whenever we fought, he would never stop even when I started to cry and he’d always hug me like this, but this time was different.
“I can’t stay, Spencer, not after that, not after everything you’ve put me through.” I cried as I pulled away from his grip.
I looked at him, my heart which was already broken falling into my stomach as I watched a tear fall down from his now colourless eyes, not the sparkling blue they were before.
***
I started running down the road, getting as far away from Spencer as I could. All I could think of doing was calling Harry but I didn’t want him to see me like this, I knew exactly what he would say.
I started to slow down as I came up to a busy road, one which was relatively close to my house. I sat down on a bench next to an old phone box; my head fell in between my knees as I brought them up to my face, hiding from passing strangers, it was getting dark and the street lights were giving an orange tint to my surroundings. I had begun to calm down when I heard a large group of boys walking towards my direction. I removed my head from my legs but made sure I was still somewhat hidden and searched for my phone in my back pocket, I saw I had five texts from Spencer telling me to come back and apologising. I swiped my finger across the screen and opened mine and Harry’s chat, I started to type a message for him to come and pick me up when I heard my name being called from the group of boys that was walking towards me, I ignored them hoping they would think it was someone else and carry on walking.
“Don’t ignore me Wren!” I still wasn’t sure who was calling me but I recognised the voice, I didn’t want to look up but they were practically in front of me. I locked my phone and slowly looked up, hoping it wasn’t one of Spencer’s friends. Jake’s mouth was agape when he saw the state I was in “Oh...” I let out a sigh of relief knowing that it was someone I knew and cared for. “Uh hi.” I gently whispered as I wiped my tears away with the burgundy jumper I was wearing over my lifeguard top, he softly put his arm around me as he told his friends to walk on. “You don’t have to stay here, really.” I explained that I was going to be fine but he was having none of it.
“You’re not fine, no offense but look at you!” he said while letting out a chuckle. I couldn’t help but laugh when in Jake’s company; everything he said always cheered me up. “So are you going to tell me what happened?” I took a deep breath and started to explain the events which had led to me sobbing my heart out on a cold wooden bench, late on a Friday night.
I had finished explaining and realised recently I had been opening up to everyone. “I’m so sor-” Jake cut me off by hugging me.
“Don’t say sorry, you don’t need to be. None of this is your fault that twat doesn’t deserve you, you need someone who can make you laugh and appreciate the small things in life, not someone who constantly makes you feel like shit, this is the second time I’ve seen you cry, I don’t like it. I want the old Wren back.” I started to tear up at his words and laugh, Jake was practically my best friend, over the past few weeks we had been getting on really well. My thoughts were cut short when he started to talk again. “I should probably get back to my friends... so you need to go home, talk to some of your girlfriends and make a cup of tea!” he winked as I laughed, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek.
I winked back at him as he was jogging off to catch up with his friends. I unlocked my phone and carried on with the unfinished text I was going to send to Harry ‘can you come and get me please’ I was waiting about two minutes before I got a reply ‘what is it with you and always wanting me to pick you up, where are you?’ I laughed before I replied.
***
I heard a raspy voice come from a black car “Hey baby, want a ride?” I looked up and laughed as I saw Harry sarcastically winking at me from across the road. I quickly ran over before any cars came and got in. “So, what’s up this time?” he looked over at me before accelerating down the road; he noticed the redness in my eyes. “Not again.” He sighed as I turned to look out the window. Harry had taken me out of my slightly good mood that Jake put me in, but I couldn’t help but blame myself for that.
We passed the road which lead down to my house, I looked at Harry but didn’t say anything “I’m not just going to pick you up and drop you off again, I want to talk to you I need to know what’s going on, I’m the only person who doesn’t know the full story.” I readjusted myself in my seat as Harry rolled down his window, the gush of air ruffled his messy curls as he moved his hand up to brush the hair back to its original place, I loved the way he made something so casual look so angelic, the whole way to his what happened back at Spencer’s was replaying in my head, the feeling hadn’t yet left my body when I caught him on top of the mystery blonde. The words ‘I’m sorry’ repeating in the back of my head.
Was he sorry that he did it or sorry that he got caught?
We came to an unexpected stop as we pulled up in front of Harry’s house. “Who do you live here with?”
“No one.” He cut me off quickly as he opened his door and ran around the side, opening mine for me. “M’lady.” he put his hand out to help me out of his car. He was trying to cheer me up and I couldn’t help but laugh, he locked the car and carried on holding my hand until we walked up to his front door when he let go trying to find his keys, once found he opened the door he intertwined my hand with his again and pulling me in.
“Your house is lovely...” I spoke as I looked around; he laughed and pulled me into his front room. “It’s really cold in here though” our hands were still knotted together “Um, Harry...” I looked down at our hands and he immediately took his hand away.
“Sorry...” he apologised. I quickly grabbed his hand again and pulled him down onto the couch, I sat relatively close to him and his expression showed that he was a little uneasy.
“It’s soothing” I added to make him look a little less uncomfortable. “My dad used to hold my hand and cuddle me whenever I was upset.”
“Oh, okay” he said as he pulled me in a put his free arm around me. “So I know who made you upset but I want to know why.” He looked at me; his tone was more serious than usual. He moved our connected hands as I hesitated to answer.
“I went to talk to him about what you said...” I almost whispered. I didn’t want to talk about it but I knew Harry would help me feel better; he looked at me as to tell me to carry on. “He didn’t pick me up, so I walked to his and when I went upstairs...” I paused as I felt a lump in my throat, telling me to stop before I started to cry. “He was on top of another girl.” I felt my eyes start to welt up as Harry kissed my forehead.
“Wren, you don’t deserve to be treated like this, no one deserves it.” He spoke so gently as if my pain had passed onto him. I could feel his body tense up in anger “First he beats you and then cheats on you, I’m not letting him get away with this!” my eyes widened and I moved away from Harry slightly.
“Harry, please don’t.” I cried. I didn’t want neither of them to get hurt. This would have never had happened if I left Spencer when it first started, he would have learned his lesson and that would have been that, it wouldn’t have escalated this high. “It’s my fault.” I added, Harry pushed me off and got up, he kicked the table in anger.
“Don’t say that!” he shouted, I moved back in my seat slightly. “No, no I’m sorry Wren, I shouldn’t shout after what you’ve been through, it just makes me so frustrated when you say it’s your fault because it isn’t!”
“Jake said that too...” I mumbled and Harry came over and knelt down in front of me.
“What?”
“Jake saw me sitting on the bench; he came over and said it wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m always the last person to know these things, aren’t I?” he let out a forced chuckle; I knew he was being serious. I moved forward in my seat and wrapped my arms around him, he went to move back but I wasn’t ready to let go, being close to Harry made me feel safe. “You can stay here tonight if you want or I can run you home...” he shyly added.
“Can I stay here please? I don’t want to have to explain this to my mum...” He nodded in agreement as he stood up and led me to the bedroom, he opened the door and flickered on the switch before he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt.
“Here, you can wear this, you can sleep in here and I’ll stay on the couch, if you need anything then just come and get me.” He smiled as he walked out the room. I sat down on the bed, playing with the t-shirt, I put it on my lap as I pulled out my phone and texted my mum ‘I’m not going to be coming home tonight, staying at a friend’s, see you in the morning’. I placed my phone on the bedside table and walked over to the bathroom which was connected to Harry’s room and changed into the t-shirt he had given me which came down to mid thigh. I walked over to the light switch and turned it off before getting under the covers.
I couldn’t describe the feeling, but it was weird being in someone else’s bed without them, wearing their clothes. I was thinking for solid ten minutes before I started to get sleepy and eventually drifted off.
***
The clock had just passed two am; I had gotten at Harry’s at about eleven, so I had been in bed for quite a while. I tried going back to sleep but it was useless, all I could think about was Spencer and how he had reacted when I left.
I pulled the covers to the side and carefully guided myself to the door trying not to trip over anything in the unfamiliar darkness. I opened the door and the passage light was left on, I tiptoed down the hall and walked into the kitchen which lead into the front room. I opened the door as silently as I could, I could see the back of Harry’s head through the archway from the kitchen, I walked in thinking he was asleep, the TV was still on but it was just a static screen. I leant against the arch fiddling with my fingers, thinking about what to say when I woke him; I jumped as he turned around.
“Are you okay?” he whispered in a sleepy voice adjusting himself to face towards me, it was probably the most innocent thing I heard this week. He looked at me from head to toe “Well, you look better in my clothes than me.” he joked.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” I asked as he gestured for me to come and sit next to him as he locked and placed his phone on the coffee table.
“Never mind me, why aren’t you asleep?” I giggled as he put his arm around me.
“Thinking too much.” I said as I cuddled up to him, he paused for a while, I guessed Harry had never been in this position before. “Can you come and sleep with me please?” I innocently asked before realising how sexual it sounded “Or you can just stay in there until I fall asleep...” he let out a raspy laugh before speaking.
“Come on then, sleeping beauty.” He was probably referring to how rough I looked. I followed Harry as he walked to the bedroom, he climbed into the untouched side of his double bed and he sat up against the headboard as I climbed in and laid facing him.
“Harry?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled
“What do I do now?” I innocently asked, he looked down at me and pulled me up so my head was resting on his inked chest.
“You don’t need to worry about that for now Wren.” He was right; late at night is never the right time to think about things, I just need to relax and stop worrying about Spencer. Harry placed his hand on the side of my face and pulled my hair behind my ears before running his fingers through over and over.
I began to drift off when my phone started to vibrate on the bedside table, before I could reach over to grab it, Harry had already answered. “Hello?” all I could hear was faint shouting, it was Spencer. “No, she’s sleeping” I looked up at Harry to make sure he knew I wasn’t. “Okay, I’ll tell her. Bye.” Harry put the phone down on the side and wrapped his arm around my back. “He said he’s sorry and wants you to come and see him tomorrow” I looked back down, regretting not turning my phone off “I didn’t think you wanted to talk to him so I answered it for you.”
“You could have just left it...” I almost shouted
“You have twenty four unread texts from him Wren; I don’t think he would have stopped... I’m sorry.”
“No I’m sorry, thank you.” I apologised and took his left hand and intertwined it with mine. He pulled the covers up behind me with his hand behind my back and started to rub his thumb against mine.
***
My whole body ached as I laid down. I didn’t want to move, I just wanted to lay in my bed all day and cry about what happened last night, the problem was that I realised I wasn’t in my bed, or even in my room. I slowly unlocked my fingers from Harry’s and rubbed my eyes to get up; the time was ten thirty in the morning. I got up and walked to the bathroom connecting to Harry’s room, locking the door behind me.
I looked at myself in the mirror, a sense of relief fled through me when I realised I didn’t look as bad as I thought. I combed my fingers through my now wavy hair and turned on the tap to wash my face and swig some around my mouth. I turned the tap off and all I could hear was the dripping of the water still left in the pipes. I looked at myself for a while, wincing at my cuts and bruises. The cut on my cheekbone was still recovering but the bruise made it look worse. I looked down and lifted up Harry’s t-shirt and saw that I still had bruises from the other night after Spencer and I had the fight. I sighed as I traced the bruises with the pads of my fingers.
I jumped as I heard Harry knock on the door and dropped the t-shirt from my grasp. “Wren, are you okay?”
“Yeah Harry, I’m fine.”
“I was getting worried; you’ve been in there for fifteen minutes...” I walked towards the door, unlocked and opened it. “Good morning beautiful” He smirked as I laughed at him and walked out “What were you doing in there?” I looked down as I didn’t want to tell him, not that he didn’t already know but it just seemed stupid to me.
I lifted up my shirt and showed Harry the bruises that were still dotted over my skin “I know they’re only bruises, it’s stupid.” I whispered as I dropped the material.
“It’s not stupid, he marked you and it’s okay to be upset by that.” He said as he grabbed my hand and took me over to the bed. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” there were so many things that I wanted to ask Harry, the last time I spoke to him about his life was my first day. It seemed like recently I was flooding him with my problems that I never got to hear his, if he even had any lately.
“What I asked you last night...” I said as I twiddled with my fingers in front of him, he sat for a minute trying to remember what I said, once he did he didn’t hold back on his opinion, Harry now knew why I didn’t want to talk about Spencer with him, ever and since he found out he’s been keeping it all to himself. He told me how he thinks that I should leave him. Harry isn’t a believer in cheating and getting away with it. The words twisted at my heart as I reminded myself of how I felt when I walked into Spencer’s bedroom. Why would he do that? No excuse would have made the situation better.
“What did I do to deserve this?” I cried as I buried my head into Harry’s chest, he put one hand on the back of my head and one on the small of my back. I loved the way Harry touched me, it would always be so delicate. He reassured me it would be okay before lifting my chin with his thumb and index finger and the feeling I had almost forgot came back. When he first touched me like that something changed, whether it was between us or just me, something was different.
The pad of his thumb catched the tears as they fell from my eyes while he reminded me that Spencer wanted to see me today. Does he really think that’s a good idea? I can’t face Spencer after the humiliation he put me through, I hate how I’m the one who feels humiliated, and if anyone it should be him. “Will you come with me?” I asked. I don’t want to go by myself, even if Harry just waits in the car, I don’t want to hurt anymore.
“Um...” he began as he rubbed the back of his neck
“You can wait in the car, please Harry I don’t want him to hurt me again.” I pleaded; he nodded his head and walked over to the dresser, getting his clothes out.
“Text him while I get ready, I’ll come to yours with you so you can get ready and we’ll meet him after.” He added as he walked into the bathroom, keeping the door open so I had full sight of him. I wanted to turn away but my eyes were glued at the sight of his beautiful body, the way his muscles contracted in his back as he pulled his shirt over his head, he turned around and let out a chuckle, my cheeks started to burn as I went to pick up my phone from the other side of the bed. ‘I’ll meet you at one’ Spencer replied telling me to meet him at his house. Of course he wouldn’t want to make an effort to come half way, he’s so selfish. Why am I only just seeing this?
“Ready?” I heard Harry call from the bathroom; he walked out as I was pulling my skinny jeans up, I decided to keep Harry’s shirt on. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a baseball shirt and his hair was pulled back from his face. He looked amazing, even though he wasn’t trying. I followed him out of his house, carrying my jumper, shirt and phone.
***
We arrived at my house quicker than I expected. We walked up to the door and I fumbled around my pockets for my keys, Harry chuckled at me as I almost dropped them while putting them in.
“Who do you live here with?” I replied with my mum, and explained that she would be at work. Harry followed me up the stairs and into my room.
“I’ll be like twenty minutes!” I informed him as he looked shocked “What, it takes some girls more than that!” he laughed at me as I spoke.
“Exactly!” he chuckled as I scoffed at him and grabbed a blue skirt and white muscle tee from my wardrobe. I went to walk out the room when Harry spoke “You can change in here, I don’t mind.” I grabbed a small pillow from the top of the drawers and threw it at him as he fell back onto the bed and laughed.
I walked down the hall to the bathroom to change my clothes and brush my teeth before walking back into the bedroom. Harry was standing around the chest of drawers before pulling away and apologising. He had a picture of me and my dad in his hands, he looked at me and apologised again.
“Stop” I laughed “It’s okay” I added before taking the picture from his hands and placing it back on top of the drawers. “It’s my dad.” I smiled while looking at the picture.
“Can I ask where he is?” he silently asked. Maybe he thought it was a tender subject because I didn’t mention him being home earlier.
“He’s away at the moment” I always wince when I think of my dad being away “He’s an officer in the military, he was stationed in Afghanistan a few weeks ago” Harry looked relived. “Where did you think he was?” I half laughed as I walked to sit at my dressing table.
“I don’t know that’s why I asked” He laughed as he sat on the end of my bed and watched me put on my makeup. “You know, you don’t need any of that” he added and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m serious Wren!”
“Okay, okay! But I like it.” I laughed as I finished off by winging my eyeliner. I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out my white converse and asked Harry to throw me a pair of socks as I undid the laces. I put them on and stood up, Harry looked me up and down.
“You look good without your lifeguard t-shirt.” he added as I laugh, I closed the wardrobe and looked at the time, it was only quarter to eleven.
“I’ll make us some breakfast, we have plenty of time” I pulled Harry by his wrist down the hall and stairs into the kitchen and sat him down at the counter island in front of the stove and fridge. “What would you like?” I said while getting out the pans from the cupboard next to the counter.
“Do you do pancakes?” he laughed
“Sorry, not on the menu.” I giggled and pulled out the batter mix from the cupboard above the microwave, I put the pan on the stove and pour the batter mix into a measuring jug before adding milk, I can feel Harry watching my every move. It’s odd but I like it, I want my good mood to be kept for as long as possible. I turned around and catch him watching me pour the batter into the pan “Can I help you, sir?” I joked and he laughed.
“Would you like some help?” He smirked as he watched me put the jug to the side.
“You can turn the pancakes” I laughed and added “Don’t ruin them though.” I winked as I sat down and he got up and asked where the cutlery was, I pointed to the draw next to the fridge and he folded the pancake over. “Flip them!” I laughed as he looked at me with an expression on his face as if to say he can’t “Harry, you’re so boring” I half laughed as I nudged him over with my hip and grabbed the pan “Like this.” I shook the handle of the pan to get the pancake sliding and told him to back up, he laughed and moved backwards.
“Be careful!” he winked as I threw the pancake into the air and caught it with the pan again.
“Your turn, don’t drop it!” I teased as he shakes the pan while looking at me and throws it into the air, he almost missed it and we both started laughing. Harry made a few more pancakes as I got the toppings out of the fridge and cupboard.
I drizzled strawberry sauce and sugar on my pancake while harry put golden syrup, lemon juice and sugar on his. “Do you want a cup of tea?” I asked as I boiled the kettle, he nodded. My words made me think of Jake and I started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Harry asked, I turned to him and lifted myself up on the counter.
“Jake’s always making tea.” We both laughed and Harry mentions him not getting along with his roommates. “Why doesn’t he move in to yours with you? Like have you considered that?”
“Of course I have, I told him he could and I think he’s going to.”
“I’d love to live with a best friend, like Naomi it would be so fun.” Harry laughed with me and pointed out all the cons about two girls living together, I disagreed with him but laughed anyway. I got down off the side and made the tea then brought it over to the counter.
“How are you feeling about... y’know?” Harry cautiously asked and the mood changed from fun to serious in a second, the thoughts began to cloud my mind and my smile drops. What will happen? What will he say? “Sorry, never mind.” He quickly added.
“No, its okay I just don’t want to think about that, not now anyway. I’m having too much fun.” I giggled as I nudged his shoulder.
We finished our breakfast by ten to one; I put all of the plates and pans into the dishwasher and followed Harry to the door.
My heart started to beat one hundred times faster than it had been a minute ago. I don’t want to go but if I don’t the problem will never be resolved, nothing will happen as long as Harry is there. I found myself staring at my reflection in Harry’s car window when he called my name “Wren, are you okay?” I nodded and got in, the thoughts fogged up my mind again but I kept reminding myself that everything would be okay. Harry got in the car and I told him to drive to Spencer’s, a sigh escaping my lips as I spoke.
“Spencer?!" I spoke as my face filled with worry. They both shot their eyes at me.
"Who is that?” the curvy blonde scowled.
“I’m his girlfriend!" I wept as I rolled my eyes. All I could think of is how Harry would say ‘I told you so’. The blonde got up looking at Spencer with disgust and walked out of his flat, slamming his front door behind her.
I needed to deal with Spencer.
“Explain" I said. He looked up to me.
“We never see each-” I cut him off.
“So since we never see each other, you think that’s okay?” I said to him. I scoffed then added, “I bet if I hadn’t come here, you would’ve had sex with her". Spencer got up and put his hands on me. “Get off; you touched her, just like you would touch me!" I objected.
“It’s different!” he said rolling his deep blue eyes.
“Fuck you." I yelled.
“Shut your mouth!" I jumped at his words.
“Spencer... how could you? Is this why you’ve been so attached to me lately?!”
“It meant nothing; I swear." His deep voice sending chills down my spine while reaching for my shoulder.
“I fucking hate you!" I screamed as one silent tear I tried to hold back fell down my cheek.
I covered my ears in a desperate attempt to block out all the bad things Spencer was saying towards me, his body towering over mine, he choked on a word and all the yelling and screaming had stopped, his lips parted as he absorbed the image of the frightened girl beneath him, his eyebrows knitting together as he frowned with worry. I gulped as he leant down to me, my head turning ever so slightly; it wasn’t the first time I had denied a kiss. He pulled me towards him “Let go of me.” I shouted, startling him.
Spencer didn’t listen, he was still touching me. He pulled me closer. I tried to push my way out so that he couldn’t hold onto me, my hair falling and obscuring my vision and I pounded his chest, fisting the cloth between my fingers.
“Spencer, let go of me, you’re hurting me!" I screamed realising it was something I should have been used to. I had almost wriggled my petite figure away from him when he pulled me in roughly and leant down for a kiss this time holding my chin between his thumb and index finger making me reminisce of when Harry touched me like that.
“Please... I need you in my life, I’m sorry, I just don’t want to lose you, and I won’t do it again." he begged. I looked up at the redness in his eyes, he was about to cry, the water was building up by his sockets, it was a sight I wasn’t used to.
"No, I hate you, my life has been so miserable since you started to hurt me!" I spat as I felt him wipe my tears away.
“Please stay.” he pleaded as I turned to walk out, I came to a unexpected stop when he pulled on my forearm, stopping me from leaving and pulling me in, wrapping his arms around my body, his scent suffocating me as I remembered the boy I loved and wondered what had happened to him.
Whenever we fought, he would never stop even when I started to cry and he’d always hug me like this, but this time was different.
“I can’t stay, Spencer, not after that, not after everything you’ve put me through.” I cried as I pulled away from his grip.
I looked at him, my heart which was already broken falling into my stomach as I watched a tear fall down from his now colourless eyes, not the sparkling blue they were before.
***
I started running down the road, getting as far away from Spencer as I could. All I could think of doing was calling Harry but I didn’t want him to see me like this, I knew exactly what he would say.
I started to slow down as I came up to a busy road, one which was relatively close to my house. I sat down on a bench next to an old phone box; my head fell in between my knees as I brought them up to my face, hiding from passing strangers, it was getting dark and the street lights were giving an orange tint to my surroundings. I had begun to calm down when I heard a large group of boys walking towards my direction. I removed my head from my legs but made sure I was still somewhat hidden and searched for my phone in my back pocket, I saw I had five texts from Spencer telling me to come back and apologising. I swiped my finger across the screen and opened mine and Harry’s chat, I started to type a message for him to come and pick me up when I heard my name being called from the group of boys that was walking towards me, I ignored them hoping they would think it was someone else and carry on walking.
“Don’t ignore me Wren!” I still wasn’t sure who was calling me but I recognised the voice, I didn’t want to look up but they were practically in front of me. I locked my phone and slowly looked up, hoping it wasn’t one of Spencer’s friends. Jake’s mouth was agape when he saw the state I was in “Oh...” I let out a sigh of relief knowing that it was someone I knew and cared for. “Uh hi.” I gently whispered as I wiped my tears away with the burgundy jumper I was wearing over my lifeguard top, he softly put his arm around me as he told his friends to walk on. “You don’t have to stay here, really.” I explained that I was going to be fine but he was having none of it.
“You’re not fine, no offense but look at you!” he said while letting out a chuckle. I couldn’t help but laugh when in Jake’s company; everything he said always cheered me up. “So are you going to tell me what happened?” I took a deep breath and started to explain the events which had led to me sobbing my heart out on a cold wooden bench, late on a Friday night.
I had finished explaining and realised recently I had been opening up to everyone. “I’m so sor-” Jake cut me off by hugging me.
“Don’t say sorry, you don’t need to be. None of this is your fault that twat doesn’t deserve you, you need someone who can make you laugh and appreciate the small things in life, not someone who constantly makes you feel like shit, this is the second time I’ve seen you cry, I don’t like it. I want the old Wren back.” I started to tear up at his words and laugh, Jake was practically my best friend, over the past few weeks we had been getting on really well. My thoughts were cut short when he started to talk again. “I should probably get back to my friends... so you need to go home, talk to some of your girlfriends and make a cup of tea!” he winked as I laughed, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek.
I winked back at him as he was jogging off to catch up with his friends. I unlocked my phone and carried on with the unfinished text I was going to send to Harry ‘can you come and get me please’ I was waiting about two minutes before I got a reply ‘what is it with you and always wanting me to pick you up, where are you?’ I laughed before I replied.
***
I heard a raspy voice come from a black car “Hey baby, want a ride?” I looked up and laughed as I saw Harry sarcastically winking at me from across the road. I quickly ran over before any cars came and got in. “So, what’s up this time?” he looked over at me before accelerating down the road; he noticed the redness in my eyes. “Not again.” He sighed as I turned to look out the window. Harry had taken me out of my slightly good mood that Jake put me in, but I couldn’t help but blame myself for that.
We passed the road which lead down to my house, I looked at Harry but didn’t say anything “I’m not just going to pick you up and drop you off again, I want to talk to you I need to know what’s going on, I’m the only person who doesn’t know the full story.” I readjusted myself in my seat as Harry rolled down his window, the gush of air ruffled his messy curls as he moved his hand up to brush the hair back to its original place, I loved the way he made something so casual look so angelic, the whole way to his what happened back at Spencer’s was replaying in my head, the feeling hadn’t yet left my body when I caught him on top of the mystery blonde. The words ‘I’m sorry’ repeating in the back of my head.
Was he sorry that he did it or sorry that he got caught?
We came to an unexpected stop as we pulled up in front of Harry’s house. “Who do you live here with?”
“No one.” He cut me off quickly as he opened his door and ran around the side, opening mine for me. “M’lady.” he put his hand out to help me out of his car. He was trying to cheer me up and I couldn’t help but laugh, he locked the car and carried on holding my hand until we walked up to his front door when he let go trying to find his keys, once found he opened the door he intertwined my hand with his again and pulling me in.
“Your house is lovely...” I spoke as I looked around; he laughed and pulled me into his front room. “It’s really cold in here though” our hands were still knotted together “Um, Harry...” I looked down at our hands and he immediately took his hand away.
“Sorry...” he apologised. I quickly grabbed his hand again and pulled him down onto the couch, I sat relatively close to him and his expression showed that he was a little uneasy.
“It’s soothing” I added to make him look a little less uncomfortable. “My dad used to hold my hand and cuddle me whenever I was upset.”
“Oh, okay” he said as he pulled me in a put his free arm around me. “So I know who made you upset but I want to know why.” He looked at me; his tone was more serious than usual. He moved our connected hands as I hesitated to answer.
“I went to talk to him about what you said...” I almost whispered. I didn’t want to talk about it but I knew Harry would help me feel better; he looked at me as to tell me to carry on. “He didn’t pick me up, so I walked to his and when I went upstairs...” I paused as I felt a lump in my throat, telling me to stop before I started to cry. “He was on top of another girl.” I felt my eyes start to welt up as Harry kissed my forehead.
“Wren, you don’t deserve to be treated like this, no one deserves it.” He spoke so gently as if my pain had passed onto him. I could feel his body tense up in anger “First he beats you and then cheats on you, I’m not letting him get away with this!” my eyes widened and I moved away from Harry slightly.
“Harry, please don’t.” I cried. I didn’t want neither of them to get hurt. This would have never had happened if I left Spencer when it first started, he would have learned his lesson and that would have been that, it wouldn’t have escalated this high. “It’s my fault.” I added, Harry pushed me off and got up, he kicked the table in anger.
“Don’t say that!” he shouted, I moved back in my seat slightly. “No, no I’m sorry Wren, I shouldn’t shout after what you’ve been through, it just makes me so frustrated when you say it’s your fault because it isn’t!”
“Jake said that too...” I mumbled and Harry came over and knelt down in front of me.
“What?”
“Jake saw me sitting on the bench; he came over and said it wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m always the last person to know these things, aren’t I?” he let out a forced chuckle; I knew he was being serious. I moved forward in my seat and wrapped my arms around him, he went to move back but I wasn’t ready to let go, being close to Harry made me feel safe. “You can stay here tonight if you want or I can run you home...” he shyly added.
“Can I stay here please? I don’t want to have to explain this to my mum...” He nodded in agreement as he stood up and led me to the bedroom, he opened the door and flickered on the switch before he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt.
“Here, you can wear this, you can sleep in here and I’ll stay on the couch, if you need anything then just come and get me.” He smiled as he walked out the room. I sat down on the bed, playing with the t-shirt, I put it on my lap as I pulled out my phone and texted my mum ‘I’m not going to be coming home tonight, staying at a friend’s, see you in the morning’. I placed my phone on the bedside table and walked over to the bathroom which was connected to Harry’s room and changed into the t-shirt he had given me which came down to mid thigh. I walked over to the light switch and turned it off before getting under the covers.
I couldn’t describe the feeling, but it was weird being in someone else’s bed without them, wearing their clothes. I was thinking for solid ten minutes before I started to get sleepy and eventually drifted off.
***
The clock had just passed two am; I had gotten at Harry’s at about eleven, so I had been in bed for quite a while. I tried going back to sleep but it was useless, all I could think about was Spencer and how he had reacted when I left.
I pulled the covers to the side and carefully guided myself to the door trying not to trip over anything in the unfamiliar darkness. I opened the door and the passage light was left on, I tiptoed down the hall and walked into the kitchen which lead into the front room. I opened the door as silently as I could, I could see the back of Harry’s head through the archway from the kitchen, I walked in thinking he was asleep, the TV was still on but it was just a static screen. I leant against the arch fiddling with my fingers, thinking about what to say when I woke him; I jumped as he turned around.
“Are you okay?” he whispered in a sleepy voice adjusting himself to face towards me, it was probably the most innocent thing I heard this week. He looked at me from head to toe “Well, you look better in my clothes than me.” he joked.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” I asked as he gestured for me to come and sit next to him as he locked and placed his phone on the coffee table.
“Never mind me, why aren’t you asleep?” I giggled as he put his arm around me.
“Thinking too much.” I said as I cuddled up to him, he paused for a while, I guessed Harry had never been in this position before. “Can you come and sleep with me please?” I innocently asked before realising how sexual it sounded “Or you can just stay in there until I fall asleep...” he let out a raspy laugh before speaking.
“Come on then, sleeping beauty.” He was probably referring to how rough I looked. I followed Harry as he walked to the bedroom, he climbed into the untouched side of his double bed and he sat up against the headboard as I climbed in and laid facing him.
“Harry?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled
“What do I do now?” I innocently asked, he looked down at me and pulled me up so my head was resting on his inked chest.
“You don’t need to worry about that for now Wren.” He was right; late at night is never the right time to think about things, I just need to relax and stop worrying about Spencer. Harry placed his hand on the side of my face and pulled my hair behind my ears before running his fingers through over and over.
I began to drift off when my phone started to vibrate on the bedside table, before I could reach over to grab it, Harry had already answered. “Hello?” all I could hear was faint shouting, it was Spencer. “No, she’s sleeping” I looked up at Harry to make sure he knew I wasn’t. “Okay, I’ll tell her. Bye.” Harry put the phone down on the side and wrapped his arm around my back. “He said he’s sorry and wants you to come and see him tomorrow” I looked back down, regretting not turning my phone off “I didn’t think you wanted to talk to him so I answered it for you.”
“You could have just left it...” I almost shouted
“You have twenty four unread texts from him Wren; I don’t think he would have stopped... I’m sorry.”
“No I’m sorry, thank you.” I apologised and took his left hand and intertwined it with mine. He pulled the covers up behind me with his hand behind my back and started to rub his thumb against mine.
***
My whole body ached as I laid down. I didn’t want to move, I just wanted to lay in my bed all day and cry about what happened last night, the problem was that I realised I wasn’t in my bed, or even in my room. I slowly unlocked my fingers from Harry’s and rubbed my eyes to get up; the time was ten thirty in the morning. I got up and walked to the bathroom connecting to Harry’s room, locking the door behind me.
I looked at myself in the mirror, a sense of relief fled through me when I realised I didn’t look as bad as I thought. I combed my fingers through my now wavy hair and turned on the tap to wash my face and swig some around my mouth. I turned the tap off and all I could hear was the dripping of the water still left in the pipes. I looked at myself for a while, wincing at my cuts and bruises. The cut on my cheekbone was still recovering but the bruise made it look worse. I looked down and lifted up Harry’s t-shirt and saw that I still had bruises from the other night after Spencer and I had the fight. I sighed as I traced the bruises with the pads of my fingers.
I jumped as I heard Harry knock on the door and dropped the t-shirt from my grasp. “Wren, are you okay?”
“Yeah Harry, I’m fine.”
“I was getting worried; you’ve been in there for fifteen minutes...” I walked towards the door, unlocked and opened it. “Good morning beautiful” He smirked as I laughed at him and walked out “What were you doing in there?” I looked down as I didn’t want to tell him, not that he didn’t already know but it just seemed stupid to me.
I lifted up my shirt and showed Harry the bruises that were still dotted over my skin “I know they’re only bruises, it’s stupid.” I whispered as I dropped the material.
“It’s not stupid, he marked you and it’s okay to be upset by that.” He said as he grabbed my hand and took me over to the bed. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?” there were so many things that I wanted to ask Harry, the last time I spoke to him about his life was my first day. It seemed like recently I was flooding him with my problems that I never got to hear his, if he even had any lately.
“What I asked you last night...” I said as I twiddled with my fingers in front of him, he sat for a minute trying to remember what I said, once he did he didn’t hold back on his opinion, Harry now knew why I didn’t want to talk about Spencer with him, ever and since he found out he’s been keeping it all to himself. He told me how he thinks that I should leave him. Harry isn’t a believer in cheating and getting away with it. The words twisted at my heart as I reminded myself of how I felt when I walked into Spencer’s bedroom. Why would he do that? No excuse would have made the situation better.
“What did I do to deserve this?” I cried as I buried my head into Harry’s chest, he put one hand on the back of my head and one on the small of my back. I loved the way Harry touched me, it would always be so delicate. He reassured me it would be okay before lifting my chin with his thumb and index finger and the feeling I had almost forgot came back. When he first touched me like that something changed, whether it was between us or just me, something was different.
The pad of his thumb catched the tears as they fell from my eyes while he reminded me that Spencer wanted to see me today. Does he really think that’s a good idea? I can’t face Spencer after the humiliation he put me through, I hate how I’m the one who feels humiliated, and if anyone it should be him. “Will you come with me?” I asked. I don’t want to go by myself, even if Harry just waits in the car, I don’t want to hurt anymore.
“Um...” he began as he rubbed the back of his neck
“You can wait in the car, please Harry I don’t want him to hurt me again.” I pleaded; he nodded his head and walked over to the dresser, getting his clothes out.
“Text him while I get ready, I’ll come to yours with you so you can get ready and we’ll meet him after.” He added as he walked into the bathroom, keeping the door open so I had full sight of him. I wanted to turn away but my eyes were glued at the sight of his beautiful body, the way his muscles contracted in his back as he pulled his shirt over his head, he turned around and let out a chuckle, my cheeks started to burn as I went to pick up my phone from the other side of the bed. ‘I’ll meet you at one’ Spencer replied telling me to meet him at his house. Of course he wouldn’t want to make an effort to come half way, he’s so selfish. Why am I only just seeing this?
“Ready?” I heard Harry call from the bathroom; he walked out as I was pulling my skinny jeans up, I decided to keep Harry’s shirt on. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a baseball shirt and his hair was pulled back from his face. He looked amazing, even though he wasn’t trying. I followed him out of his house, carrying my jumper, shirt and phone.
***
We arrived at my house quicker than I expected. We walked up to the door and I fumbled around my pockets for my keys, Harry chuckled at me as I almost dropped them while putting them in.
“Who do you live here with?” I replied with my mum, and explained that she would be at work. Harry followed me up the stairs and into my room.
“I’ll be like twenty minutes!” I informed him as he looked shocked “What, it takes some girls more than that!” he laughed at me as I spoke.
“Exactly!” he chuckled as I scoffed at him and grabbed a blue skirt and white muscle tee from my wardrobe. I went to walk out the room when Harry spoke “You can change in here, I don’t mind.” I grabbed a small pillow from the top of the drawers and threw it at him as he fell back onto the bed and laughed.
I walked down the hall to the bathroom to change my clothes and brush my teeth before walking back into the bedroom. Harry was standing around the chest of drawers before pulling away and apologising. He had a picture of me and my dad in his hands, he looked at me and apologised again.
“Stop” I laughed “It’s okay” I added before taking the picture from his hands and placing it back on top of the drawers. “It’s my dad.” I smiled while looking at the picture.
“Can I ask where he is?” he silently asked. Maybe he thought it was a tender subject because I didn’t mention him being home earlier.
“He’s away at the moment” I always wince when I think of my dad being away “He’s an officer in the military, he was stationed in Afghanistan a few weeks ago” Harry looked relived. “Where did you think he was?” I half laughed as I walked to sit at my dressing table.
“I don’t know that’s why I asked” He laughed as he sat on the end of my bed and watched me put on my makeup. “You know, you don’t need any of that” he added and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m serious Wren!”
“Okay, okay! But I like it.” I laughed as I finished off by winging my eyeliner. I walked over to my wardrobe and pulled out my white converse and asked Harry to throw me a pair of socks as I undid the laces. I put them on and stood up, Harry looked me up and down.
“You look good without your lifeguard t-shirt.” he added as I laugh, I closed the wardrobe and looked at the time, it was only quarter to eleven.
“I’ll make us some breakfast, we have plenty of time” I pulled Harry by his wrist down the hall and stairs into the kitchen and sat him down at the counter island in front of the stove and fridge. “What would you like?” I said while getting out the pans from the cupboard next to the counter.
“Do you do pancakes?” he laughed
“Sorry, not on the menu.” I giggled and pulled out the batter mix from the cupboard above the microwave, I put the pan on the stove and pour the batter mix into a measuring jug before adding milk, I can feel Harry watching my every move. It’s odd but I like it, I want my good mood to be kept for as long as possible. I turned around and catch him watching me pour the batter into the pan “Can I help you, sir?” I joked and he laughed.
“Would you like some help?” He smirked as he watched me put the jug to the side.
“You can turn the pancakes” I laughed and added “Don’t ruin them though.” I winked as I sat down and he got up and asked where the cutlery was, I pointed to the draw next to the fridge and he folded the pancake over. “Flip them!” I laughed as he looked at me with an expression on his face as if to say he can’t “Harry, you’re so boring” I half laughed as I nudged him over with my hip and grabbed the pan “Like this.” I shook the handle of the pan to get the pancake sliding and told him to back up, he laughed and moved backwards.
“Be careful!” he winked as I threw the pancake into the air and caught it with the pan again.
“Your turn, don’t drop it!” I teased as he shakes the pan while looking at me and throws it into the air, he almost missed it and we both started laughing. Harry made a few more pancakes as I got the toppings out of the fridge and cupboard.
I drizzled strawberry sauce and sugar on my pancake while harry put golden syrup, lemon juice and sugar on his. “Do you want a cup of tea?” I asked as I boiled the kettle, he nodded. My words made me think of Jake and I started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Harry asked, I turned to him and lifted myself up on the counter.
“Jake’s always making tea.” We both laughed and Harry mentions him not getting along with his roommates. “Why doesn’t he move in to yours with you? Like have you considered that?”
“Of course I have, I told him he could and I think he’s going to.”
“I’d love to live with a best friend, like Naomi it would be so fun.” Harry laughed with me and pointed out all the cons about two girls living together, I disagreed with him but laughed anyway. I got down off the side and made the tea then brought it over to the counter.
“How are you feeling about... y’know?” Harry cautiously asked and the mood changed from fun to serious in a second, the thoughts began to cloud my mind and my smile drops. What will happen? What will he say? “Sorry, never mind.” He quickly added.
“No, its okay I just don’t want to think about that, not now anyway. I’m having too much fun.” I giggled as I nudged his shoulder.
We finished our breakfast by ten to one; I put all of the plates and pans into the dishwasher and followed Harry to the door.
My heart started to beat one hundred times faster than it had been a minute ago. I don’t want to go but if I don’t the problem will never be resolved, nothing will happen as long as Harry is there. I found myself staring at my reflection in Harry’s car window when he called my name “Wren, are you okay?” I nodded and got in, the thoughts fogged up my mind again but I kept reminding myself that everything would be okay. Harry got in the car and I told him to drive to Spencer’s, a sigh escaping my lips as I spoke.
8/26/13