Philophobia
Chapter Eleven
I practically sulked the entire walk to his car, which, by the way, was parked extremely far from the home. I could feel my knees burn from moving too much, making it far more hard for me to keep focused and move easily with Harry's paste.
"You're slow," he muttered, not glancing my way.
"Thanks, I didn't notice." Snapping with far more mood than him.
"We're not far," he now announced calmly, as if knowing I was going to fall and break down at any given moment.
"How did you walk this far? It was practically night." I asked, curious.
"You walked further than me, form town, remember?" He asked, smirking with his retorted answer.
But he was right, I did walk this far. It really only felt like a few mere minutes, but apparently each minute was truly a mile. While the road would bend and twist into different directions, the driveway alone making it seem like it's own personal road line.
"Why were you hiding?" My questions continued.
He let a small sigh escape his lips, before reaching for the back pockets of his worn out jeans. Fetching a pack of cigarets, and an included lighter he must have packed.
Pulling only one, and a weak attempt to offer me one but declining almost instantly, he put the packet back, leaving the cig between his lips while he lit it with the lighter.
"Technically, we were both hiding." He eventually hummed, again ignoring my question.
He knew he was ignoring them too, answering my questions by moving around them. Sneakily, but smart. But unfortunate for him, I saw right through it.
Before I could even reply, he continued. "We're here."
As he was right, his familiar vehicle was parked back into a small opening where trees have grown. Just barely enough room to park, but a perfect amount of coverage to be hidden.
"Do they frighten you?" My mouth moving faster than my brain. But I couldn't take it back. Yet somehow didn't regret it.
A small chuckle left his throat, causing me to turn to face him.
He had a large enough smirk to reveal dimples. His hard exterior wasn't to justice, his dimples making him look like a much softer being.
He continued to stand with me, refusing to make any eye contact and continued to stare at the car before him.
"Nothing scares me." His words were cold, hard. Enough to send small shivers down my spine.
Everyone has to have a fear, right? Someone, something, or even situations like death. No one was truly fearless, because that was human. Fearful of the unknown and experienced.
"Impossible." I argued, still staring at the side of the boy.
His features seemed serious now, and his arms tensing while he almost seemed to quiver. He was thinking, I know that. But as soon as he fear came, it left.
The car's horn took me from my thoughts, causing me to jump and see Harry had unlocked it with the press of a button. Now, already making himself situated inside the driver's seat.
He motioned for me, telling me to come inside the car next to him.
For once, I allowed him to boss me as I made my way inside the car's passenger side next to him, while he greeted me with a small, emotionless smile. Already working on the gear shift to drive while the engine roared to life.
The car had no problem moving from the tree's area, while we were already down the road with Harry's fast speed of his foot heavy on the peddle.
Harry was scared of someone, which made me uneasy. I remember seeing him ready to kill the man in front of my very own eyes with no remorse or regret. But how could someone so careless of others be afraid of a certain being? Was there truly a larger monster than Harry?
Impossible, I thought. Maybe, just maybe, this was still a dream and I'd wake up in my bed where I had left to after another encounter with Hunter. Because, surely I couldn't be in the car with this boy again, and have woken up to his arms draped over me this morning.
This was a dream, I told myself. Trying to convince myself this all never happened.
"You're quiet, what's wrong?" Harry's voice called through my thoughts.
"Like you care," I spat, realizing I was looking out the window during my daydream.
"I can care, it's not illegal." He practically huffed.
"It surprises me that everything you do isn't illegal," I commented rudely. But once the words left my mouth, I felt bad, instantly.
He became quiet, which scared me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke." I continued to ramble on until I was silenced by his voice.
"Jamie, it's fine." He cut off.
I turned to see him with a slight frown while concentrated on the drive in front of him.
"You're almost right," he joked back allowing a small smirk escape his lips.
"You don't have to pretend like that hadn't offended you, Harry. It was rude, and I'm sorry." I pardoned myself.
"No worries, love. I wasn't pretending. I'm used to it, in all honesty."
For some reason, that actually hurt knowing he's probably been treated more poorly than he's acted. Yet, he's took it all so well like nothing ever bothered him.
He was someone I'll never be able to read like a book, but was yet still just as interesting to learn about.
"Thanks," I mumbled, while he simply nodded.
I took that as my cue, un-locking the door to leave. "Wait," he interrupted, resting his large hand on my smaller shoulder.
"Yeah?" I asked, turning back.
"About Hunter-" "save it." I stopped him, not exactly wanting an explanation.
Again, he nodded. But unlike last time, he asked something that made all blood flow stop. As my heart beat disappeared, along with the colour in my face.
"Can I kiss you?"
His face showed no sign of a joke, as he looked as serious and hopeful as ever. Why would he ask that? I asked my self. It was definitely better than him forcing himself on me, but still, no. I couldn't, and I wouldn't.
I found myself almost panicking as he thought my silence was yes, beginning to lean in for the moment. But my brain was saying no, as my body shivered from his breath on my face, lips dangerously close, while they continued to approach mine.
"I'm - I'm sorry, Harry. I.. I can't." Quickly, I turned without looking back, getting out of the car.
He almost kissed me.. But I ran. A guy like him doesn't belong around a girl like me. He was trouble, as I was clean. He was practically with my friend, or was he? I guess I'd just assumed seeing them in my home nearly stripping themselves against my living room walls.
Even though he held me hostage, drove me insane with curiosity and secrecy, made me angry since day one, I still feel regretful of running.
Why?
"You're slow," he muttered, not glancing my way.
"Thanks, I didn't notice." Snapping with far more mood than him.
"We're not far," he now announced calmly, as if knowing I was going to fall and break down at any given moment.
"How did you walk this far? It was practically night." I asked, curious.
"You walked further than me, form town, remember?" He asked, smirking with his retorted answer.
But he was right, I did walk this far. It really only felt like a few mere minutes, but apparently each minute was truly a mile. While the road would bend and twist into different directions, the driveway alone making it seem like it's own personal road line.
"Why were you hiding?" My questions continued.
He let a small sigh escape his lips, before reaching for the back pockets of his worn out jeans. Fetching a pack of cigarets, and an included lighter he must have packed.
Pulling only one, and a weak attempt to offer me one but declining almost instantly, he put the packet back, leaving the cig between his lips while he lit it with the lighter.
"Technically, we were both hiding." He eventually hummed, again ignoring my question.
He knew he was ignoring them too, answering my questions by moving around them. Sneakily, but smart. But unfortunate for him, I saw right through it.
Before I could even reply, he continued. "We're here."
As he was right, his familiar vehicle was parked back into a small opening where trees have grown. Just barely enough room to park, but a perfect amount of coverage to be hidden.
"Do they frighten you?" My mouth moving faster than my brain. But I couldn't take it back. Yet somehow didn't regret it.
A small chuckle left his throat, causing me to turn to face him.
He had a large enough smirk to reveal dimples. His hard exterior wasn't to justice, his dimples making him look like a much softer being.
He continued to stand with me, refusing to make any eye contact and continued to stare at the car before him.
"Nothing scares me." His words were cold, hard. Enough to send small shivers down my spine.
Everyone has to have a fear, right? Someone, something, or even situations like death. No one was truly fearless, because that was human. Fearful of the unknown and experienced.
"Impossible." I argued, still staring at the side of the boy.
His features seemed serious now, and his arms tensing while he almost seemed to quiver. He was thinking, I know that. But as soon as he fear came, it left.
The car's horn took me from my thoughts, causing me to jump and see Harry had unlocked it with the press of a button. Now, already making himself situated inside the driver's seat.
He motioned for me, telling me to come inside the car next to him.
For once, I allowed him to boss me as I made my way inside the car's passenger side next to him, while he greeted me with a small, emotionless smile. Already working on the gear shift to drive while the engine roared to life.
The car had no problem moving from the tree's area, while we were already down the road with Harry's fast speed of his foot heavy on the peddle.
Harry was scared of someone, which made me uneasy. I remember seeing him ready to kill the man in front of my very own eyes with no remorse or regret. But how could someone so careless of others be afraid of a certain being? Was there truly a larger monster than Harry?
Impossible, I thought. Maybe, just maybe, this was still a dream and I'd wake up in my bed where I had left to after another encounter with Hunter. Because, surely I couldn't be in the car with this boy again, and have woken up to his arms draped over me this morning.
This was a dream, I told myself. Trying to convince myself this all never happened.
"You're quiet, what's wrong?" Harry's voice called through my thoughts.
"Like you care," I spat, realizing I was looking out the window during my daydream.
"I can care, it's not illegal." He practically huffed.
"It surprises me that everything you do isn't illegal," I commented rudely. But once the words left my mouth, I felt bad, instantly.
He became quiet, which scared me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke." I continued to ramble on until I was silenced by his voice.
"Jamie, it's fine." He cut off.
I turned to see him with a slight frown while concentrated on the drive in front of him.
"You're almost right," he joked back allowing a small smirk escape his lips.
"You don't have to pretend like that hadn't offended you, Harry. It was rude, and I'm sorry." I pardoned myself.
"No worries, love. I wasn't pretending. I'm used to it, in all honesty."
For some reason, that actually hurt knowing he's probably been treated more poorly than he's acted. Yet, he's took it all so well like nothing ever bothered him.
He was someone I'll never be able to read like a book, but was yet still just as interesting to learn about.
"Thanks," I mumbled, while he simply nodded.
I took that as my cue, un-locking the door to leave. "Wait," he interrupted, resting his large hand on my smaller shoulder.
"Yeah?" I asked, turning back.
"About Hunter-" "save it." I stopped him, not exactly wanting an explanation.
Again, he nodded. But unlike last time, he asked something that made all blood flow stop. As my heart beat disappeared, along with the colour in my face.
"Can I kiss you?"
His face showed no sign of a joke, as he looked as serious and hopeful as ever. Why would he ask that? I asked my self. It was definitely better than him forcing himself on me, but still, no. I couldn't, and I wouldn't.
I found myself almost panicking as he thought my silence was yes, beginning to lean in for the moment. But my brain was saying no, as my body shivered from his breath on my face, lips dangerously close, while they continued to approach mine.
"I'm - I'm sorry, Harry. I.. I can't." Quickly, I turned without looking back, getting out of the car.
He almost kissed me.. But I ran. A guy like him doesn't belong around a girl like me. He was trouble, as I was clean. He was practically with my friend, or was he? I guess I'd just assumed seeing them in my home nearly stripping themselves against my living room walls.
Even though he held me hostage, drove me insane with curiosity and secrecy, made me angry since day one, I still feel regretful of running.
Why?
Notes
THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE !Do you guys like the sneak peaks? Be honest..
Here's my RANT :
You know what pisses me right off? When people are so interested in an author's book and seriously can't wait for an update, and they haven't updated in while, that they start going a bit crazy and too excited to wait for the update, and comment update and are pushy and stuff.. Then the author says something rude in their notes about it.
Okay. Seriously, if you're gonna write a nasty note about it, then don't write the darn book. I'm a person of extreme reason, and this isn't directed at anyone, but after seeing it yesterday this needed to be said.
So some nasty things were said to this person. Nasty things were apparently mentioned over message to them, I understand the frustration and hurt from that. But I hate it even more when you call your readers horrible nick names.
Like, I've seen "Thanks for readin, cunts!" You do NOT call anyone that, ever. I don't care if you deserved it, or if it's a nick name. You don't. It is horrible, and I'll stop reading your book if I read that. I treat all of my readers with respect, because if it weren't for you's I wouldn't be as far as I am. Even if I'm not on the popular page, or I don't have 10,000 views. I still appreciate every single one of you.
I mentioned this to the person writing the nasty notes that their attitude was a bit much, and if you do happen read this book, I'm sorry, but I seriously couldn't take it anymore. Your writing is good, but sometimes you need to bite your tongue with words.
I'm not bashing you, but it was a major example on how I feel about that.
Your opinions may be different from mine, which is fine. But I just want you all to know how I feel on that subject. You all are actually important to me, and if you treat me with respect, I'll treat you with respect back.
That's just me. Just remember, I'm someone you can always come and talk to, even if you don't know me. I'll listen.
!!!!!!!!!RANT OVER!!!!!!!!!!!
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Please update
3/24/14