between the raindrops
Chapter 7
Harry’s POV
I don’t know what it is about Kimberly, but there’s something that draws me to her. As much as I try to think of her as that awkward little blond girl down the road from me. The girl who never cared about getting dirty all over her clothes like the other girls did. She was the girl who even at a young age, saw through all my bullshit. She saw my good side and bad side yet still had chosen to stick around. At least she had until I pushed her away.
If anyone ever were to ask why I stopped talking to her but kept in touch with Lucas, it was because I knew I could never have her. We were fifteen when Lucas first told me he had a crush on Kimberly. He said that he wanted her all to himself and I knew then that I could never try and get with her. I knew that she liked Lucas as well; they were both in denial though. Sure I was a bit of an asshole but I couldn’t do that to my best friend. I could never go after the girl he fancied. Yet there was still the problem of my feelings. So I did what I thought was best. I stopped talking to Kim. I shut her out and with time it did get easier. But then Lucas died. He made me come back to Southport.
When I first laid eyes on Kimberly at the funeral I knew she wasn’t the same Kimberly I’d once known. The sparkle in her eyes had completely gone and she was starting to look like a bag of bones. She looked worn out and she had bags under her eyes. Her beautiful blonde hair had no color or bounce to it. As I took her in I had known that this was all because of Lucas’s death. I’d often heard about Kimberly’s and Lucas’s relationship through Lucas who refused to shut up about all the fucking great times they had had. But as I looked at the broken girl in front of me, I knew then that I needed to fix the thing Lucas hadn’t meant to break. But he had and now it was my turn to get the girl and fix her.
But I hadn’t prepared myself for just how emotional Kimberly would be. She was worse than a girl on her period and I honestly didn’t know how to handle her. She’d changed so much since I’d last spoken to her that I didn’t even know if she liked the same things or if her personality had changed completely. Not to mention she didn’t exactly welcome me back with open arms. I mean I didn’t expect her too, but a guy can hope right?
Walking back into Niall’s hotel room, I was a bit surprised when everyone turned and looked at me. Their eyes told me they expected to know what was going on with Kimberly. Shifting uncomfortably under their gaze, I made my way over to the couch and flopped down next to Zayn. Their eyes still on me.
“Would you all stop staring at me?” I snapped, glaring at them all.
“What happened? You were there for over twenty minutes?” Liam asked, I wasn’t surprised to see him concerned.
Shrugging I turned my gaze to the arm of the couch. It suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world. I don’t know why but I had this strange feeling like I needed to protect Kimberly. It was like I had to keep her panic attack a secret because it was her secret. One I wasn’t meant to know, yet I did and I wasn’t about to betray her trust and tell the rest of them. If she wanted them to know, she’d tell them.
“Guys she’s fine. She just needs some sleep and some time to herself. You’ll all see her tomorrow and she’ll look like a ray of sunshine.” I told them. My eyes looking around at all of them. Hopefully I’d said it well enough for them to believe me.
After a few long agonizing seconds, they all nodded and went back to talking among themselves. All I could think about was Kimberly though. How broken she’d looked when I walked into her bathroom. How she’d flung herself at me and let me hold her. Sure it had only been for a minute or two, but she still let me. She still initiated the hug and that’s all I needed. That’s all it took for me to know for certain that I couldn’t give up on her. I was determined to fix her and show her that she could love again. That she didn’t need Lucas around to be happy. Kimberly needed to see that you could find happiness and laughter in everything and I was going to show her that. Even if it meant putting her before myself. I’d do it.
“Harry can I talk to you outside?” Beth asked, pulling on my t-shirt as she walked pass and out the door.
Groaning softly, I got up and followed the blonde out into the corridor. Shutting the door behind us, I nodded towards the end of the corridor. I knew the lads would probably try and listen in. I mean when it was just us boys, we had hardly any secrets between us.
Beth and I walked down to the end of the corridor and I leaned against the wall. My green eyes searching her face for any hint of what she was about to say. But unlike Kimberly, Beth was very good at hiding what she was thinking and feeling.
“What happened in Kim’s room?” Beth asked hesitantly, she obviously knew I was reluctant to talk about it.
Did Beth know about Kim’s panic attacks? That question kept racing around my mind like it was a car on a race track. I knew Beth had a right to know. She was Kim’s best friend, yet I still had that strong urge to protect Kim and all her secrets. All her beautiful imperfections.
“Harry please tell me. I’m scared about her. I know it hasn’t been that long since Lucas’s death but she’s my best friend and she’s not really improving. I want the old Kim back but she keeps shutting me out and she’s never done that before. So please tell me.” Beth pleaded, it was etched all over her face just how scared she was.
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, I looked over Beth’s head at the door leading into another room. The great thing about being famous, you get to hire out a whole floor of rooms. Then you get a whole lot of privacy from fans and the paparazzi.
“She had a panic attack. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what happened. She started to hyperventilate slightly and she started shivering and she told me to stay in the doorway of the bathroom. She looked like shit. Then after she’d calmed down she hugged me. Then like a minute or so afterwards she pushed me out of her room and said she’d be fine in the morning.” I ran a hand over the back of my neck as I replayed everything that’d happened with Kim.
It took me a few seconds to look down at Beth’s face. Of course it was hard to read. I think even Beth didn’t know how to feel about what I’d just told her. At least she didn’t have to experience it.
“God. You know Lucas was the only one who knew how to help her when she had a panic attack. Not even her parents know how to help her.” Beth stated, I could see she was still processing what I’d told her.
“Look I think that this is just something Kim needs to work out herself. We just have to be there for her, whenever she needs us. There’s no point in us pushing her because she’ll just push right back.” I murmured and Beth knew I was right.
Nodding her head, Beth turned her head to look down the corridor at Kim’s door. A flash of worry flashed in Beth’s eyes but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. Licking my tongue over my bottom lip, I pushed myself away from the wall.
“I’m gonna get some sleep now. I plan on getting Kim out of this hotel and smiling again tomorrow. So I better get some sleep. See tomorrow Beth.” I said, giving the blonde a warm smile before I made my way down to my hotel room.
Giving one last glance at Beth who still stood where I left her, I walked into my room and shut the door. I quickly stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. I didn’t fall asleep for a couple of hours though. Thoughts of Kim kept flooding my mind. I had to fix her. I just had to.
I don’t know what it is about Kimberly, but there’s something that draws me to her. As much as I try to think of her as that awkward little blond girl down the road from me. The girl who never cared about getting dirty all over her clothes like the other girls did. She was the girl who even at a young age, saw through all my bullshit. She saw my good side and bad side yet still had chosen to stick around. At least she had until I pushed her away.
If anyone ever were to ask why I stopped talking to her but kept in touch with Lucas, it was because I knew I could never have her. We were fifteen when Lucas first told me he had a crush on Kimberly. He said that he wanted her all to himself and I knew then that I could never try and get with her. I knew that she liked Lucas as well; they were both in denial though. Sure I was a bit of an asshole but I couldn’t do that to my best friend. I could never go after the girl he fancied. Yet there was still the problem of my feelings. So I did what I thought was best. I stopped talking to Kim. I shut her out and with time it did get easier. But then Lucas died. He made me come back to Southport.
When I first laid eyes on Kimberly at the funeral I knew she wasn’t the same Kimberly I’d once known. The sparkle in her eyes had completely gone and she was starting to look like a bag of bones. She looked worn out and she had bags under her eyes. Her beautiful blonde hair had no color or bounce to it. As I took her in I had known that this was all because of Lucas’s death. I’d often heard about Kimberly’s and Lucas’s relationship through Lucas who refused to shut up about all the fucking great times they had had. But as I looked at the broken girl in front of me, I knew then that I needed to fix the thing Lucas hadn’t meant to break. But he had and now it was my turn to get the girl and fix her.
But I hadn’t prepared myself for just how emotional Kimberly would be. She was worse than a girl on her period and I honestly didn’t know how to handle her. She’d changed so much since I’d last spoken to her that I didn’t even know if she liked the same things or if her personality had changed completely. Not to mention she didn’t exactly welcome me back with open arms. I mean I didn’t expect her too, but a guy can hope right?
Walking back into Niall’s hotel room, I was a bit surprised when everyone turned and looked at me. Their eyes told me they expected to know what was going on with Kimberly. Shifting uncomfortably under their gaze, I made my way over to the couch and flopped down next to Zayn. Their eyes still on me.
“Would you all stop staring at me?” I snapped, glaring at them all.
“What happened? You were there for over twenty minutes?” Liam asked, I wasn’t surprised to see him concerned.
Shrugging I turned my gaze to the arm of the couch. It suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world. I don’t know why but I had this strange feeling like I needed to protect Kimberly. It was like I had to keep her panic attack a secret because it was her secret. One I wasn’t meant to know, yet I did and I wasn’t about to betray her trust and tell the rest of them. If she wanted them to know, she’d tell them.
“Guys she’s fine. She just needs some sleep and some time to herself. You’ll all see her tomorrow and she’ll look like a ray of sunshine.” I told them. My eyes looking around at all of them. Hopefully I’d said it well enough for them to believe me.
After a few long agonizing seconds, they all nodded and went back to talking among themselves. All I could think about was Kimberly though. How broken she’d looked when I walked into her bathroom. How she’d flung herself at me and let me hold her. Sure it had only been for a minute or two, but she still let me. She still initiated the hug and that’s all I needed. That’s all it took for me to know for certain that I couldn’t give up on her. I was determined to fix her and show her that she could love again. That she didn’t need Lucas around to be happy. Kimberly needed to see that you could find happiness and laughter in everything and I was going to show her that. Even if it meant putting her before myself. I’d do it.
“Harry can I talk to you outside?” Beth asked, pulling on my t-shirt as she walked pass and out the door.
Groaning softly, I got up and followed the blonde out into the corridor. Shutting the door behind us, I nodded towards the end of the corridor. I knew the lads would probably try and listen in. I mean when it was just us boys, we had hardly any secrets between us.
Beth and I walked down to the end of the corridor and I leaned against the wall. My green eyes searching her face for any hint of what she was about to say. But unlike Kimberly, Beth was very good at hiding what she was thinking and feeling.
“What happened in Kim’s room?” Beth asked hesitantly, she obviously knew I was reluctant to talk about it.
Did Beth know about Kim’s panic attacks? That question kept racing around my mind like it was a car on a race track. I knew Beth had a right to know. She was Kim’s best friend, yet I still had that strong urge to protect Kim and all her secrets. All her beautiful imperfections.
“Harry please tell me. I’m scared about her. I know it hasn’t been that long since Lucas’s death but she’s my best friend and she’s not really improving. I want the old Kim back but she keeps shutting me out and she’s never done that before. So please tell me.” Beth pleaded, it was etched all over her face just how scared she was.
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, I looked over Beth’s head at the door leading into another room. The great thing about being famous, you get to hire out a whole floor of rooms. Then you get a whole lot of privacy from fans and the paparazzi.
“She had a panic attack. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what happened. She started to hyperventilate slightly and she started shivering and she told me to stay in the doorway of the bathroom. She looked like shit. Then after she’d calmed down she hugged me. Then like a minute or so afterwards she pushed me out of her room and said she’d be fine in the morning.” I ran a hand over the back of my neck as I replayed everything that’d happened with Kim.
It took me a few seconds to look down at Beth’s face. Of course it was hard to read. I think even Beth didn’t know how to feel about what I’d just told her. At least she didn’t have to experience it.
“God. You know Lucas was the only one who knew how to help her when she had a panic attack. Not even her parents know how to help her.” Beth stated, I could see she was still processing what I’d told her.
“Look I think that this is just something Kim needs to work out herself. We just have to be there for her, whenever she needs us. There’s no point in us pushing her because she’ll just push right back.” I murmured and Beth knew I was right.
Nodding her head, Beth turned her head to look down the corridor at Kim’s door. A flash of worry flashed in Beth’s eyes but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. Licking my tongue over my bottom lip, I pushed myself away from the wall.
“I’m gonna get some sleep now. I plan on getting Kim out of this hotel and smiling again tomorrow. So I better get some sleep. See tomorrow Beth.” I said, giving the blonde a warm smile before I made my way down to my hotel room.
Giving one last glance at Beth who still stood where I left her, I walked into my room and shut the door. I quickly stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. I didn’t fall asleep for a couple of hours though. Thoughts of Kim kept flooding my mind. I had to fix her. I just had to.
9/6/13