“Kim… Kitten…”

That all too familiar voice woke me up as he placed soft kisses along my jaw. Groaning I turned my head down in hopes that it’d stop him from kissing me. Then at least I had a slightly better chance of falling back to sleep. But unfortunately Harry had other ideas.

All of a sudden the bed started shaking, making my eyes snap open as I looked around widely. Until I realized it was just Harry causing the shaking. Glaring at him a playfully slapped his head before I ran my hand through his curls. God he was so fucking adorable, smiling that dimple smile.

“What’s up dimples?” I asked softly as I put one of my legs over him, so I was straddling him.

The guilt was still there. The guilt that I was moving on from Lucas and how I was a bad person. I mean, he hadn’t even been dead for more than like two months and now here I was being happy. It honestly made me wonder if I was ever truly in love with him or if it was just puppy love. But no matter how much I thought about it, I still got that aching feeling in my heart and the guilt would settle in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes I ever felt like I was suffocating. But when Harry’s around… I can’t explain it. It’s like I can breathe again. I feel so alive and happy and fucking hopeful whenever he’s around. He makes me want to be a better person because if we’re going to be together he can’t be with someone like me.

“Kim?” Harry’s question snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?” My eyebrow raised.

“What’re you thinking about?” His eyes were searching my face again, like he always seemed to do.

“Nothing that’s important.” I lied and before he could reply I brought my lips down passionately onto his plump ones.

But to my surprise he pulled back and just stared at me. There was this intensity about them that scared me. Did I do something wrong already? Am I not a good kisser? Is he having second thoughts about me being his already? I couldn’t help myself from thinking the worse and before I could stop it, I felt myself start to hyperventilate and I knew what was going to happen.

I started to crawl off of Harry but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back. Only to be meet by my panicked looking face. I needed my space. I needed him to let me go or he’d just make it worse.

“Kim?” Concern was written all over his face and if I wasn’t starting to have a panic attack I would apologize but I was a bit busy.

“L-let m-me g-go p-p-please.” I stuttered while I tried to breathe properly.

As soon as his hold on my loosened, I crawled as fast as I could off his lap and off the bed. I crawled over to the wall and just leant against it. That’s when I broke out in a sweat and my hands and feet started getting tingly. Fuck. Why couldn’t I just be fucking normal for once in my life? Is it too much to ask for one normal moment? One cute moment with a guy I actually like? Especially since I was so fucking positive I wouldn’t like anyone else. But here I wanted to have a cute moment like in all those romance movies. But instead I was having a panic attack.

I noticed Harry was now sitting on the edge of my bed that was closest to me. He knew what was happening. I could read it in his face; even though all I wanted to do was make him look away I couldn’t form any words. My irregular breathing wouldn’t let me speak. I had to focus on trying to breathe properly before I wanted to talk.

It took a couple of minutes but eventually I started to calm down. I could feel the feeling in my hands and feet come back. And my breathing slowly returned back to normal. But the shitty feeling didn’t go away. It stayed and it took everything I had to look up at Harry. His eyes were such a rich green. I wanted to get lost in his eyes but I knew that wouldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let me do that. He’d want answers and knowing Harry, he’d push me until he got those answers.

“Are you going to tal-“

“Are we a couple?” I blurted out trying to stall him. I didn’t want to get the third degree so I decided to give it to him.

“Well… Uh… I mean yeah… At least that’s what I thought from… Last night.” His nervousness made a small smile tug at my lips. God he’s so cute when he’s nervous.

“Good… Does it make me a bad person? That it hasn’t even been like three months since Lucas died and I’m already in a relationship?” I asked, fearing his answer.

“No.”

I should have seen that answer coming. Of course he was going to say that. Whether he was lying or not, I couldn’t tell. I just had to trust he wasn’t lying.

“I think Lucas would want you to be happy Kim.” Harry added, sensing my uneasiness.

“I know.” Slowly I pulled myself up and closed the space between me and Harry. Placing my legs on either side of him so I was straddling his lap, I said down and smiled when I felt his hands on my lower back.

“You have pretty eyes.” I smiled sheepishly, not really sure where that came from.

“So do you. Yours are like sky blue. So fucking beautiful.”

“Yours are better.”

“No they aren’t.”

“Ya they are. Yours a like forest green. They hold so much depth and they change depending on your emotions and they sparkle when you’re happy. Your eyes are just better than mine.” I ran a hand through his curls and kept it tangled amongst his curls as we stared at each other.

“How do you feel about my reputation?” He asked, obviously changing the subject which meant I won.

“What are you talking about?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You know… My bad boy one. The one that sleeps with a different girl almost every night. The one that has anger issues and shit.” His voice was so dull, that I wanted to bring it back to life somehow. I just didn’t know how to do that.

“Harry I don’t care about that. Seriously, who gives a fuck what other people think? I know you. We grew up together and you’re still that kind, loving boy towards me. That’s all I care about. Your so called ‘reputation’ will only become a problem if you start acting like that towards me.” I told him truthfully.

Silence fell between us as he processed my words. But it didn’t take long for his smile to appear again. His eyes turning a lighter green. God he looked so adorable as his dimples appeared.

“You’re the best Kitten.” He whispered, his voice filled with so much emotion.

“No I’m not. But thanks for thinking that.”

And with that I gently cupped his face with my hands before we both leant in and meant half way. Our lips connecting passionately. His lips tasted like cherries with a hint of vanilla and I swear I could get high off his taste any day.

After a minute or so of us kissing, I finally pulled away and grinned at him. My grin was mirrored on his face as he gave me a quick peak on the lips.

“So what are we going to do today love?”

Notes

Sorry it took me a while to update. I wrote the chapter then I couldn't decide if I wanted to change it or not. But I'm working on the next one and it'll be a lot more happier, I swear. Yeah so it should be up either tonight or tomorrow when I wake up.