TEN

“No.” I said, staring off into space, “It’s you.” I had whispered to Niall about my feelings. Then he kissed me.

I guess there was just no point in trying to hide them anymore… I have real feelings for Niall and I have real feelings for Harry. I paused, then sighed, continuing and finally looking over at the blonde boy, “It’s you, Niall. You’re the one that I think I love. You’re just so sweet and—I don’t even know why I’m saying this right now… am I drunk?”

“I don’t think so.” Niall said.

“Oh.” I paused, “Well there’s the truth. I have feelings for two of my best friends. That’s great. Ok. I’m going to go now. Not to Harry. I’m not going to Harry… I’m going to Ed’s.”

“Um, can we talk tomorrow, then?” Niall said, getting up and following me to the coat check.

“Yeah, I think I’ve had a little bit too much for right now. I’m sorry I dropped the bomb on you. Please don’t think I’m crazy or something.” I whispered as he helped me put my coat on.

“I could never think that.” He said in a serious tone. Then he pressed a kiss to my forehead before opening the bar’s doors to me. I wave goodbye to him as I called a taxi to take me home. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Just as I was opening the door, there was a call for me. I turned to see Casey with her coat on, running towards the taxi. She jumped down into it next to me, giving me a hug, “I’m sorry I’ve been a terrible friend to you… I feel awful.”
“Don’t. I’ve been the worse friend.”

“Well, regardless, I need to talk to you about what just happened. Harry said he loved you? That’s completely mental! Do you love him back?”

“Yes.” I whispered, “I’ve always loved Harry.”

“Then I think you should go for it.”

“But I love Niall too.” I responded.

Her face turned sour, “Oh. I still think you should go for Harry, I mean he had the guts to tell you that he loved you… besides, you don’t even know if Niall loves you.”

“You’re right but Harry could just be saying that. I’ll never know with him because he has told so many girls that he’s loved them just so he could fuck them. I don’t know if he actually loves me or not.”

“You need to tell Harry how you feel. It’s not fair for him to tell you if you just ignore him.” She said.

“Fine, then I’ll tell Harry that I love him.” I quickly leaned forward telling the taxi to drive to Harry’s apartment after dropping Casey off at her house.

***

My fingers felt cold as I touched them to Harry’s door. I haven’t knocked yet… but I’ve been standing out here for at least twenty minutes. I have to do it, I have too. I let my knuckles connect with the door.

After a few moments, Harry opened the door. He was shirtless, his muscles promenading in my face. Confusing was masked across his face, “Gia?”

“I—I needed to tell you that—” I began, only to be cut off.

“Haz, what are you doing?” a female voice said behind me. I widened my eyes… Harry brought someone home with him. What was I thinking? Here I am, just a mere hour later, about to tell Harry that I love him and he’s already fucking another girl. And she’s calling him Haz. I feel like punching him in the face right now for doing this.

Everything would be so much easier if he didn’t have to get a girl to come home with him. Harry glanced behind him and shook his head towards the half-naked girl standing there. I gave a disgusted look, “I was going to tell you something that you probably want to hear.”

“Just tell me.” Harry said, stepping forward and grabbing my hand.

I pulled myself away from him, “Fine. If you want to know…” I took another step backwards, “I was going to tell you that I loved you and that I wanted to be with you but I don’t anymore; and that’s why.” I pointed to the girl next to him and turned away before he could say anything else.

I was able to get a cab before Harry was dressed… I know he had been rushing to get dressed the moment I walked away… and I had left. I’m done with this. Done with what? I haven’t even started yet and Harry has already proved me wrong.

By the time I reached Ed’s I had spent a full ten minutes crying in the cab and up to the door. I’m sure Ed isn’t home now but you never know with him so I stood in the hallway wiping my tears with a tissue until I was sure that my eyes were somewhat dry. When I opened the door, I was greeted by Niall standing in the apartment. I was confused as to how he got in here since Ed is still gone, but I just furrowed my eyebrows, “Niall?” I whimpered.

“What happened?” He asked me, stepping forward. It was obvious that Niall had come to check on me and I couldn’t help but be happy he did, even though I’ll be venting about Harry, “Ed gave me a key… I just wanted to come and see if you made it home alright, but then you weren’t here…”

“I know.” I sighed, “I went to Harry’s.” I threw my leather coat on the hanger and dropped my phone and purse on the couch as I walked over to Niall.

“What happened? Did you tell him that you loved him?” Niall asked with a small choke in his voice.

“I was going to tell him that I wanted to be with him but there was this girl—Niall, he brought home a girl to have sex with the night that he told me he loved me. What kind of person does that make him? What kind of person does that make me? The one that supposedly loves me doesn’t love me enough to not fuck a girl on a Saturday night.” I whimpered, a tear falling down my cheek again.

Niall stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, “Harry is a dumbass and he’s probably kicking himself in the ass right now for what he did, I can promise you that. He regrets it and he’s going to tell you that but you have to remember that he still did it.”

“I know. I just—I had just opened the door to a relationship with him and he basically stabbed me through the crack.” I cried into Niall’s chest. He waited patiently until I was done with my small cries then I pulled away from him, “I’m going to get changed out of this dumb dress. Don’t leave?”

“I won’t, I promise.” Niall said, giving the back of my hand a small kiss. I then went into my room and changed into some shorts and a t shirt before coming back out. I instantly panicked when I didn’t see Niall but then he appeared from behind kitchen corner with a can of beer in his hand. He had taken off his coat and shoes and walked back towards me, “Just got a beer.” He explained.

I was about to sit on the couch but then I thought about the many nights that I have fallen asleep here with my head on Harry’s lap or on his arm underneath the blankets while he tries to make me happy and laugh. I looked at the couch for a moment just as Niall was about to sit down, “Um.” He said, standing up at the sight of my annoyed face.

“I want to go to my bed.” I said, turning around. Niall stood there awkwardly and watched me walk towards my room but then I looked back and gave a small laugh, “Come on, then. We can watch a movie on my laptop if you want too. I just don’t want to be alone.”

He then nodded quickly, following me in my room. I flipped my light on and opened my laptop. Niall searched through my DVD’s before sliding in one to my laptop. I pulled back the covers on my bed and Niall was about to pull a chair up to my bed but I just laughed, “Niall, get in here. Shut the lights off though.” He nodded, flicking the lights off then sliding into the bed next to me.

I let my head rest against the pillow next to Niall’s as we started to watch the movie he picked out. My hand found Niall’s under the covers and I rubbed against his knuckles with my thumb, my other arm encircling around his bicep. I nodded off, my head on his shoulder.

The last thing I remember before I drifted off into sleep was the soft touch of his lips against my temple, then my jawline, then my lips.

THE NEXT MORNING

“What the hell?” Ed shouted, waking me up from my sleep. I opened my eyes, my sight connecting with Ed standing over my bed and glaring down at me. I shifted over in my half sleep, my body crashing into something warm. I looked over to see Niall start to rub his eyes awake.

I widened my eyes; Niall’s arm was around me as I slept through the night. I had been cuddled into his chest as I slept soundly. It was probably the best kind of sleep I’ve had in a while.

Sitting up, I scooted away from him and got up quickly, “Um.”

Niall stood up as well, smoothing down his shirt before coughing awkwardly into his hand, “We weren’t doing anything, Ed. Gia and I just fell asleep.”

“Well, I suggest you stay in here, Niall, because Harry is here right now and he’s demanding to see Gia even though I told him you were still sleeping. It’s a miracle that I got him to wait outside while I came in to wake you up… if he had seen you two…”

“Just tell him to go away.” I said, waving my hand as I sat back down on my bed, “Tell him that I’m not feeling that good or something because I don’t feel like talking to him.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Ed shrugged before exiting my room.

“That was a close one.” Niall laughed, “Harry would freak even though it was all innocent.”

“I know right?” I sighed, “Alright turn around I’m going to get dressed.” I turned away from Niall and pulled on some jeans and a t shirt and then walked back to him, “I’m going to see if Harry has gone yet.”

When I opened my door, Harry was arguing with Ed in the front room. I stood awkwardly by my door when he turned around, “Gia!” He exclaimed, pushing past my brother and grabbing me from around my shoulders, “I’m so sorry about last night!” He said, kissing my forehead and then my cheek.

“Hey, hey. Get off.” I complained, pushing him away from me.

“What? I just want to talk to you.” He said, keeping his arms around me.

“Harry, I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore.” I said harshly, still trying to push him off me. Ed scoffed, slamming the door to his room when he walked in there.

“Just kiss me.” He said suddenly.

“What?” I questioned, shaking my head.

“Just kiss me, Gia. It will show you how much I love you, I promise.” He said. Before I could object, he grabbed my head and forced me to kiss him. I tried to back off but then his lips moved against mine. My hand snaked up to his hair, melting through his curls. I tugged on them a little bit and Harry groaned against me, sliding his hand down my back and resting it on my bum.

My shoulders disobeyed me, leaning into Harry and pressing my chest against his as we continued to tangle our lips and tongues together. Just a minute ago, I was sleeping in the same bed with Niall and now I’m making out with Harry in my living room.

I could feel every movement Harry’s lips made against mine and he moaned, sliding his tongue across my teeth. I could feel myself growing frustrated, wanting more of him. My hand found the front of his jeans, my fingers pressing into the tender skin just above there.

“Harry.” I whispered, pulling my lips from his.

“Can’t you feel how much I want you?” Harry whimpered, putting his face in my neck and kissing me there twice. He then breathed out, resting there waiting for me to speak.

“You need to understand something.” I said harshly, ripping myself from him and taking a step backwards, “You need to understand that it isn’t just you. You make me feel happy, angry, excited, and sad. But it isn’t just you and the other person makes me fell all those things but angry and sad.”

“Who?” He asked, “I can take it, you know? I’ve been loving you for a year, watching your crushes fade, but I’m still here. I can be better than that person, I promise. Just tell me who it is.” He pleaded.

“Niall.” I answered honestly, if Niall knows how I feel about Harry, Harry might as well know how I feel about his blonde haired band mate.

“What? You love Niall?” Harry whispered.

My head instantly nodded, “I’m so confused. I—I need some time to think.”

“You haven’t even kissed Niall… not the way you just kissed me… Gia, I could feel you response to it.”

“I have kissed Niall.” I defended, “Before I even kissed you.”

“So this whole time, I hadn’t known but you have kissed Niall.” Harry said, staring off into space, “That’s alright. Gia, I can be everything you love in Niall and everything you love in me as well.”

“But, Harry, I can’t trust you.” I said angrily, standing up and narrowing my eyes at him, “How can I possibly be in a relationship with someone that I can’t trust?!” I almost shouted.

“What did I do to make you not trust me!?”

“Last night!” I screamed, pointing at him, “You fucked a girl hours after you supposedly confessed your love for me!” There were tears in my eyes but I managed to blink them away without him noticing.

“I didn’t even have sex with her!” He defended.

“But you were going to! You didn’t just because I came over to your house! Harry, is that what you’re planning to do when we are together? Fuck a girl when I’m not looking and if I find out, just pretend that you weren’t even going to have sex with her in the first place?!”

“No!” Harry shouted back, getting closer to me, “Last night was a stupid mistake.”

“I’ll say.” I snapped, pushing his chest away from me, “I should have never told you that I loved you because…” I began. Now I’m going to have to lie, “because I don’t. Harry, I thought I loved you but last night proved to me that you couldn’t possibly handle a serious relationship, and therefore, I don’t love you.”

“You’re lying, I know it.” Harry spat, “Stop lying to me, Gia.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Harry.” I whispered.

“What? That’s it? Are we just going to pretend that this didn’t even happen?!” He was silent for a moment then sighed, “Because I don’t want to lose you. I can make my feelings go away if you don’t want to be with me, I promise. I just don’t want you to hate me, Gia.” He was growing desperate at the thought of being out of my life, or me being out of his. If you think about it, it’s probably the latter.

“I could never hate you.” I sighed.

“Then I’ll get over you.” He promised, hugging me quickly, “Then I promise that I’ll get over you. That’s it, I’m over you.” He laughed, “Go be with Niall.”

“What, Harry, what are you even talking about?”

“Go be with Niall.” He insisted, pulling me up, “I know he’s in your bedroom… I heard him talking to you. He loves you, Gia. Tell him that you love him.”

“Harry, you’re confusing me.” I insisted, tightening my grip on his wrist.

“Please, just do it, Gia. Tell Ed I’m sorry, tell Niall I’m sorry. Just do me a favor and go tell him that you love him too. Gia, I can find someone else, Niall can’t he loves you, please.”

“Just stop!” I shouted, “You’re confusing the hell out of me! If you think I should be with Niall, why did you tell me you loved me, then come here apologizing?”

“I’ve realized something… I just want to be your best friend, Gia.” Harry said before stepping away from me, “Do it… please.” He then walked to the door and shut it quietly after him.

What the fuck just happened?!

Notes

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i cried when i wrote this jus sayin

message me if you bored bc i am 2