You're Still The One

(Harry’s POV)

Hours had past and the guilt and regret had yet to cease. Charlie’s sniffles could be heard from the next room. She’d refused to even sit in the same room with me after the events that took place last night. I regret asking her to stay. I regret letting her see me cry. It probably only confused her more. That’s the last thing I wanted. I never wanted to hurt her.





“I’m ready,” she said finally. Her icy blue eyes were surrounded by an impassioned red.





She was indeed ready to leave. And from what I could see from my spot on the couch, all her stuff was cleared out. Closet looked empty, drawers all cleared. This was really happening. She was really leaving.





Tell her to stay. Tell her you love her. Do whatever it takes to make her stay.





“Let’s get you home then,” was what I said. I swept my hair from my forehead with my thumb and shot up from my seat to begin our dreadful journey back home.





I couldn’t believe I was seriously doing this. I’m giving up on something I worked so hard for, a relationship with Charlie, and it’s all because I was told to. I’ve never been one to let others make my decisions for me and here I am.





The people who manage our careers thought it would be wise of me to just end the relationship with Charlie because she’s “bad” for One Direction’s image. They think that if the media stops releasing photos of us together, it would clean up all the bad attention. In fact, they want me to cut all contact with her.





They didn’t think about what the separation would do to me. She’s everything to me and I have to lie to her because if I tell her the truth, she will always think of me as the bastard she always thought I was. The prick that could only care about how many followers he got on social media or what magazine cover he’s featured on and I don’t give a damn about any of that. That’s not who I am. I could only hope that she wouldn’t forget about our good times.





She’s all I could ever want. But, like Louis had graciously pointed out so many times, One Direction is made up of five members who have all sacrificed and given up something for the benefit of the band.





“Most days I would like to sit home with my family. But, I think about how hard we’ve all worked to get where we are now and I could never jeopardize that for my own selfish needs,” Louis said during our South American tour.





I scooped a couple of her bags in my hands as she led the way outside to the car.





(Charlie’s POV)

I stood a few feet away as I watched Harry toss my little bags into the backseat. He opened the front car door for me and helped me inside like always. I grew accustom to the seats of his car and pulled the safety belt over me. The hood of the sweatshirt was brought over my head and I adjusted the seat so I could fall asleep almost instantly. That way the ride would go fast and when I awoke, I’d be home, leaving no room for awkward conversations or blank stares.






However, as long as I was awake the car ride was more awkward than anything. I never would have imagined I’d feel this uncomfortable with the one person I shared everything with.





But now everything is just so fucked up. Harry saw how messed up I was without him. He saw how desperately I wanted to keep him. And after all that, his mind was still made up. He didn’t care.





I felt a rush of tears getting ready to implode again so I clenched my eyes shut until I drifted off to sleep.





I had the disadvantage of waking up to a dream about Harry that has become nothing more than hazy fog but it still left an impression due to its subject material, you know exactly what I mean by that. I couldn’t believe my subconscious mind would submit to having such a dirty dream about him, after all this. I felt betrayed by my own mind.





When I fully awoke, I was home.





“That was quite some dream you were having.”





I pretended like I didn’t hear his comment and went on to the backseat to retrieve my belongings. I wanted to get far away from Harry as quickly as possible before I had another meltdown. After collecting my stuff, I boldly told him to leave. It was hard but I had to do it.




“Charlie…” he said.




“What do you want from me, Harry?!”




There was no way in hell that I would try to be his friend again. I want to him to be my everything or nothing at all. There is no in-between.





“I still don’t know why you’re doing this…Do I mean anything to you?”




“Of course you do.”




And once again, silence.





“Goodbye, Harry.”




He watched me as I started to walk the path to the house. I stopped in my tracks and spun around. Right then, he mouthed the words, “I love you” to me. But, if he really loved me, he wouldn’t let me walk away. He wouldn’t leave. And that’s just what he did.

Notes

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