You're Still The One

(Charlie’s POV)



Every single day for the past month I’ve awoken to a cold, lonely bed and an empty house. Bailey and Caitlin both have their own responsibilities back home and it would be selfish of me to ask them to ignore that just so I wouldn’t have to be lonely so I let them go return to their own lives.





But lately, I’ve been feeling especially lonely.





I haven’t heard from Harry in weeks. Sure, I know he’s busy probably working on new music and touring but things just don’t feel the same between him and I anymore. I sat at the kitchen table in nothing but his t-shirt thinking of nothing more than him and eating a large bowl of Coco Pops.





I inhaled deeply then exhaled while I hunted the last few pieces of Coco pops down with my spoon. After I finished the last of my cereal, I glared at my phone for a bit, considering if I should contact him or not.





I swiped my phone from the smooth table top and traditionally swiped my fingers across the screen. His contact information appearing on the screen; I took a bit more time to think about what I would say and then I dialed him.





It rang for thirty seconds. Yeah, I counted.





“Charlie? What’s wrong?” He questioned, immediately assuming there was something wrong. It was comforting knowing that, that part of him didn’t go away. Hearing his voice after not speaking for weeks made my heart beat just a bit faster.




“N-nothing’s wrong,” I stammered, voice shaky.





He was quiet for a moment and I was afraid he could hear my racing heartbeat through the phone. I had hoped that things between us wouldn’t be so awkward, at least not this time. I needed to know that we were ‘Ok’.





I could hear the rest of the lads in the background. That’s more than I could say for Harry.





“I only called because I’ve been missing you.”





“I miss you too,” he said quietly and there was yet another long, painfully awkward pause before he spoke again. “Charlie, I should go. I’ll try to ring you tonight.” Then, click. There were no “I love you’s” not even a “goodbye” there was no sentimental stuff that I once hated but now craved. It’s like we’ve taken six billion steps backwards and we’re now back at the awkward stage and I don’t understand what went wrong.





I glared at the bowl in front of me, trying hold on to the positive side of things by remembering the good stuff we encountered and remembering how much fun we had before he left. How real we were. How happy we were.





Seriously, what changed?






I released a hitched a breath and rose out of my seat to wash my used cereal bowl. As I dried the bowl, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by all this built up emotion. So many things running through my mind, I literally had to try to keep from bursting to tears. It was getting ridiculous. I haven’t seen Harry in a month and a couple of weeks and all we do is make small-talk before one of us makes the effort to end the conversation, if you can even call it that and I can’t help but think that I did something wrong or that he’s completely lost interest in me. The thought literally sends a rush of chills crawling down my spine, pushes me to the verge of tears. I was ashamed to be sitting here alone crying. I wiped them hastily wanting nothing more than to just stop thinking. Stop stressing.





I tried to get in contact with a few people I knew for sure would get my mind off of Harry. My mum being one of them, but as usual, no answer; I called Caitlin and Bailey and also, got no answer. I swear, everyone got together and decided that it would be ‘ignore the shit out of Charlie month’ because I haven’t heard from anyone. I even went as far as to call Melissa who probably should have been back from her honeymoon long ago. Finally, I got really bored and called my good friend Nina. She understands a lot and can probably help me with some of the things that I’ve been feeling since she’s gone through it all before, dealing with Zayn and all.





Before I could give her phone a ring, she texted me saying:


I’ve been thinking about you girly! Fancy a catch up, later? X





My face lit up in excitement like a loser who has finally found a friend to hang out with. I quickly and desperately accepted her kind offer and leaped into the other room to get ready for our little outing. I stripped myself of what little clothing I wore and prepared for a nice, long shower. I wrapped a towel around me and treaded off to the toilet. My feet padded against the marble floor in the meantime and then there is where I discovered blood.





Fuck.





A couple of months ago, I discovered the stash of feminine products Harry kept under the bathroom sink. He must’ve bought them, knowing very well that I would need them eventually. I appreciated him thinking of me in small ways such as that.





I miss that.





*`~*`~*`~*`~*`~*`~*`~*`~*





Nina was so much fun, so cool, so down to earth and so sweet and understanding. Oh, and she gives the best advice.





“Did you and Zayn ever go through something like that?” I asked, feeling foolish. She furrowed her brows and she looked up at the ceiling as if the sky would give her the answers. “Forget I asked. You guys are perfect.” I shook my head and began to stuff my face with food, like a lady, might I add.





“We’re far from perfect,” She snapped. “There’s so much stuff that’s happened between us that you don’t know about… and now that I think about it, I did go through what you’re going through.”





I didn’t mean to pry, but I wanted to know… “What happened?”





“You know how you said, you feel alone?”





I nodded. My eyes very attentive of her, watching her every antic and nervous movement as she went on to further answer my prying question.






“I felt the same way. I noticed that he was being distant with me. He wasn’t the same Zayn that he was when we first started dating.” I think this was hard for her to talk about because of her lack of eye contact with me. Instead of looking directly at me, her uneasy eyes glanced at every passing person, or at the empty plate in front of her. “He cheated on me. Multiple times.”





Her eyes finally met mine and I tried hard not to react. I didn’t want to make her feel any worse than she probably already did.





“And nothing’s worse than hearing about it on the telly or reading about it somewhere online or a magazine.”





It was so hard to believe that he was capable of doing something like that. When Zayn looked at Nina, he looked at her like he was madly in love. Like, she was his everything. So, how could that be?





“I can’t believe it.”





“Believe it. It happened. When I first heard about it, it was from watching something on the telly and I could tell by the way I was feeling that it had to be true. It just wasn’t the same.” She so casually stole food from my plate and popped it into her mouth and began to chew as she spoke. “So, one day when he was through touring, I just sat him down and asked him and he told me the truth.”






“How can you trust him?”





“I don’t think I could ever fully trust him again, but I give him credit for telling me the truth.”





My stomach turned. I felt horrible for asking her these difficult questions. It obviously isn’t easy to talk about, but she did and I respect her for that.





“Do you think Harry’s cheating on me?” I asked. My mind went that direction the instant Nina admitted Zayn’s mistakes. My bones rattled just thinking about it. My mind started wandering and imagining him with other girls but before it could stray too far, Nina shook those thoughts from my mind.





“Harry’s not a cheater,” she said.





“But—”





“And the only reason he cheated on Nikki is because she was a bitch and a horrible person. So don’t you even try that one,” Nina spat.





God, I love this girl.






“Okay, so he’s not a cheater. Why else would he be so distant?” I asked, grasping a napkin to wipe my hands and mouth then I tossed it atop my plate.






She pursed her lips, accepting a white straw between them, taking in gulps of water.






“It’s probably because everyone else thinks he’s a cheater.”





I think I wore my confusion on my face.





“Charlie, do you live in a box. Hello! You’ve been on like every teen magazine and talk show about the love triangle you’re apparently tangled in,” she stated, staring at me strangely while my mouth hung open. “Yeah, all the stuff with you and Nikki..? People know.”

Notes

Looks like we're back in business! x Here's one of my favorite gifs to say thanks for your patience.