You're Still The One

I sat in Sean’s small box car. The tenacious smell of drugs filled my nostrils. I held my breath to shield my sensitive sense from taking in such a strong smell. The clues I noticed made it apparent that Sean was under the influence of drugs. My eyes met with his and I swear, I heard him growl at me.



He was driving at dangerous speeds, not stopping the car when it should have. Like, at stop lights and signs. As the car continued to speed down busy streets filled with slow-driving cars, I felt the sudden urge to take the wheel, myself, just to guarantee my own safety.



“Slow down, okay?” I asked politely.



“Shut. The Fuck. Up.” He said boldly, briefly pausing between each harsh word. “You don’t get to tell me anything especially when that douche was upstairs with you!” I stopped talking and maybe even stopped breathing because I was deathly afraid to upset him any further.



Then, he purposely started driving faster. I clutched onto the handle of the door and pressed my back firmly against the seat, before Sean pulled the car into an unexpected Holt, forcing my and his body jolting forward. The engine roared as the car reached dangerous speeds.



I closed my eyes for about five minutes to drown everything out. The sound of us zipping past cars, Sean’s breathing, his loud ear-splitting and when I re-opened my eyes, we made a quick stop at a service station and from then on, we went to his house where he forced me to come inside.



Though the weather outside was fairly warm, Sean’s house was freezing but that didn’t stop him from working up a sweat. He removed the thin shirt from his ripped torso and tossed it to the floor. I watched the droplets of sweat trickle down the side of his forlorn face. I guess it was just a side effect to whatever drug he was using. I stood awkwardly against the wall as he came charging over to me, slamming his clenched fist into the wall just a few centimeters away from my face. I squealed at the loud impact. My eyes took in the damage to the once perfect wall. The paint that concealed it was now cracked with an ugly dent in the middle. I cowered back still flustered. Is that what he wished he could do to me?



I stood still, glaring at the unstable guy in front of me. Randomly, he started to sob rather loudly, begging me for forgiveness. Just seconds ago, he was angry and now he was crying his moods were becoming completely unpredictable and that deeply frightened me. I have a better chance of predicting the weather than one of his many moods. I left him by the wall and sat on the couch, waiting for him to collect himself. So, we could talk like civilized people.



“I’m so sorry, Char. I’m sorry for everything.” He cried, joining me on the couch.



My eyes became wet with every apology spewed from his indignant mouth. I gulped and pulled the distraught boy into my embrace to comfort him. He gently rested his head on my chest.



“Please, don’t give up on me.” He pleaded. I could feel the moisture from his eyes hit my skin.



“I won’t. Sean, but you have to get better.” I spoke truthfully. Stroking his cheeks repeatedly seemed to relax him. It wasn’t until he tried to kiss me and I rejected him that I triggered his dark side again. Bringing my hands back to his face, he caught ahold of my wrists, and he forced a kiss to my lips. I squirmed uncomfortably, trying with aching muscles to get him off but I was squished between his rock-hard body and the lumpy couch. He was too strong.



“What’s the matter? Don’t you like it when Harry kisses you?” He growled breaking away from the messy kiss, finally letting my hands free. But, I was still stuck. Sean seemed to have weighed tons and I couldn’t get from beneath him. He smiled, creepily, before saying, “You like to be treated like a slut, don’t you?”



“Sean!” I cried and that's when I had a break down. Kicking, screaming and throwing my balled fists at him were just a few things I did to try to get him off of me. With his manly instincts, he dodged every single one of my attempts.



He brought his rough lips to my mouth again. The kiss was hard, fast, sloppy and just plain gross. He practically shoved his tongue down my throat and I could almost taste the drugs on him. He grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked it, causing my neck to jerk back.



“Stop!” I cried, bewildered. “Sean, stop it!”



He smiled, menacingly, at my words and repeated the actions.



“That’s it, baby, scream my name.”



I refused to indulge him, so I withheld making any sounds, period.



“I bet you like it when Harry does this, right?” He dipped down, kissing down my jaw line, along my neck ending at my breasts.



“Please don’t do this.” I implored.



“Relax, you might enjoy it.” he whispered in my ear, then he began to gently kiss the surface below it. My heart rate increased, as his head lowered and hands roamed freely under my shirt. He was merciless and cold and heartless. I barely could contain a gag just thinking about it. Maybe Harry was right and I’m an idiot for not listening to him. But, it’s far too late for that now. I needed to think of something clever to get him away.



Since, he had kept bringing Harry up in the situation, I thought I might too.



“You know the reason I prefer Harry to you?” I said, unsure of where I was going with this or why I was even saying it. All I know is I wanted him off me and spitting some truth to him might be the only way I see that happening.


“Mmm?” he moaned, still kissing my neck feverishly.



“I love Harry. Not you. I don’t love you.”



Without thinking, the words poured from my mouth. I was just as startled as Sean at what I said but it felt good to say out loud. Of course, I wasn’t entirely sure what this meant or why it felt so good coming out, but it got him off of me just like I hoped.



His rage filled eyes flared and I noticed a vein peeking out of his forehead right between the arched brows. He got up and paced around. His heavy footsteps and my rapid heart-beat were the only things to be heard. Again, he sent his fist crashing into the same wall, but this time it was ongoing. Time after time, his fist slammed into the wall.


I stood up, cautiously walking over to him and observing his obscured fist and the wall which was stained with hints of a ruby red color. His blood smeared across the wall and his fists, entirely.



“We can’t see each other anymore.” I said as nice as I could possibly get at this moment. I couldn’t take another moment of being his girlfriend. The mere sound of it makes me nauseas. This probably wasn’t the best time to break up with him but it had to be done sooner or later and I chose sooner than later. I was fed up with waiting and refused to waste another second on this precious opportunity.



As usual, he didn’t take the ‘break up’ well. He pinned me to the wall, so fast, I didn’t even see it coming. His fingertips digging into my sides as he roughly slammed my back into the wall he previously dented. There were sure to be a couple of blackened marks on my body. I cringed, as I felt his fingertips suppress me, deeper. He was actually crushing me with his bare hands.



“You listen to me— ” His words were so valiant it was taunting. He was cut off by his mother barging in the front door with a grocery bag in each hand. He separated from me instantly. She stopped at the door, glaring at her distraught son, who was shirtless and covered in his own blood, and then at me, whose mascara was everywhere it shouldn’t be. Her eyes fell upon my waist-line. Sean’s hand prints of blood were now marked onto my favorite white t-shirt.


“Is everything alright?” She asked with a raised brow.



“Everything’s fine. I was just leaving.”



“Can I offer you a ride?” she asked.



“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You just got here.” My voice was cracked and the ability to remain strong wasn’t an option for me. It was just a matter of time before I broke down. I cleared my throat out of frustration because I just couldn’t seem to pull it together and at least pretend that everything was alright for the sake of Sean and his mum.



Sean growled for the third time before disappearing upstairs.



“I can give you a lift, really. It’s no trouble at all.” She pronounced faintly her voice was barely audible. The reason his mum was being so nice was unfathomable. She never cared much about me before. She’s even said it out loud, behind my back, and to my face.



“Thanks.”



His mum kept not-so-subtly looking my direction when she drove me home. The ride home was just as awkward for her as it was for me. Neither of us opened our mouths to speak until we were close to my home.



“Did Sean do that to your face?” she asked casually, breaking the weird silence.



“Oh, no.” I lied. “I, um, bumped into a—”



“Please, Charlotte, don’t lie to me.” Her eyes were fixated on the street before us. I assume she knew the truth. She just wanted confirmation. But, how’d she know? Maybe it was obvious Sean was dangerous. Maybe he’s even attempted to hurt his own mum. The new monstrous image of Sean that was submerged into brain was unreal. The Sean I remember and loved would have never done the things that I saw him do and it pained me deeply to see him like that.



“Yes.” I confirmed quietly.



She shut her eyes momentarily to gather her emotions.



“I’m so sorry…” she said weakly, almost on the verge of tears.



“It’s not your fault.”



Soon she pulled up to my house, leaving me to the curb and smiling at me, sweetly.



“Thanks, Mrs. Fields.” I said.



“Sean won’t be a bother to you anymore.” She assured me.



She forced a smile, before driving off and I didn’t hesitate to walk straight through the front door of my house. Shutting the front door, I was relieved to finally be home and away from Sean. For some strange reason, I felt liberated and free and for feeling that, I felt horrible. Now, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and die. But, to my surprise my shaken mother was sat at the kitchen table accompanied by Harry.



Both their eyes were transfixed on my blood stained tee. It looked like I just stepped out of a horror film.

Notes