Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

That was then, This is now

Making Rough Love

Cold.
That's the first thing I feel when I wake up in the morning. The bed is empty but the covers on Harry's side are tossed aside which means he slept here but got up already. However, my stomach drops as the silence quickly informs me he isn't home.
I take my time to have a shower, using the hot water to relax my muscles and give some patient for the day ahead. As I descend the stairs, a paper on the kitchen counter called my attention.

I didn't want to wake you up in the morning.
I'll be back in a while.
H


At least he bothered to leave a note though he didn't say where he went. I should get used to it since it looks like it will become a tradition between us now.
It's not that I don't understand why he has to fly to LA, I knew what I was applying for since the beginning but he was on tour for 10 months, almost an entire year! Now he's been back for barely days and will travel again. He can't refuse because, as he pointed out yesterday, there's 4 other people in the band that get affected by his action and he'd never do anything to prejudice them. Nor would I ever ask him to. So I do understand why he has to leave even though I don't like it, what I do not understand is why he kept me in the dark about it when everyone else knew already.
That I do blame him for and I won't make it easy for him! The fact that he gave me some space to think in the morning enhances that he knows that fact already.

The doorbell pushes me back from my trance as I consider it's Harry. Once again, he has a key so that's someone else.

"Lou?" I open the door confused.

"Hey Mia." She greets me with a big smile.

I give her a little hug and bend down to greet Lux as well. She gives me a toothless smile and a baby giggle.

"It's not That I don't appreciate the visit but why are you here? Did anything happen?"

My heartbeat instantly races as I ponder that something bad is about to collapse over my head.

"No, relax. Everything's fine." She tranquilizes me. "Where's Harry?"

"Hes, uh, out."

She raises an inquiring eyebrow at me. "Are you two fighting?"

"Nothing that can't be fixed."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, don't worry about it." I gave her a little smile. "What brings you here?"

I'd met Lou a while ago but we never really got the chance to spend a lot of time together given both our schedules but since I've managed to visit the boys during the tour, her and I got along really well and became great friends. I've always loved babies and Lux seemed to like me as well so a relationship has definitely built between us.

"Well, I hate to ask but Tom has some sort of flu and I'm driving him to the hospital. I don't want Lux to be in those kind of environments so I thought about someone to stay with her till I get back. My sister is out of town and Harry was the first person I could think of since he's already used to Lux and you as well."

"Sure! You know I love Lux."

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't urgent." she apologized.

"Don't worry about it. Harry had a flu these days as well, it must have been something from the Americas.."

She laughed. "Yeah, I just want him checked by a doctor just in case."

"Of course. Don't worry about Lux, just update us on Tom."

"Okay," she sighed relieved, bending down to give Lux a kiss and adjust her jacket.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine." I picked Lux up who instantly clanged to my neck.

"Thank you."

"I'll send you pictures of us having fun." I assured.

"Good. Bye Lux, mummy will be back in a while."

Lux didn't even seem to pay attention as she was more focused on the cross chain of Harry's that I still carried on my neck.

"Say goodbye to mummy, Lux." I cooed softly, bouncing her up and down slightly on my lap. She finally seemed to realize someone was calling her attention and looked up with those big innocent eyes.

"Bye baby, I love you." Lou pressed a kiss to her cheek and handed me the little bag.

"Everything she needs is here, call me whenever."

"Okay." we exchanged a little hug and she reluctantly moved to the elevator.

I grabbed Lux tiny hand and waved with it. "Bye mummy, I'll be fine with Mia." I teased in a baby voice.

Lou stuck her tongue out at me and blew a kiss before entering the lift to the sound of her daughter's giggles.

"Well, Lux, what are we gonna do today?" I asked closing the door behind us. "You don't want to study, do you?"

I eyed my books and papers thrown all over the coffee table where I last left them yesterday. I should be studying my ass off right now!

"Let's wait for Harry and see if he wants to go to the park."

"Hawi!!" she clapped excitedly.

"Yeah, even you love him that much. Who doesn't?" I sighed, poking her in the stomach.

"Let's watch some cartoons. If he wants to come home, he will."

I gathered all the the papers to the couch and sat crossed-leged on it with Lux on my lap as I searched for the baby channel I know there is in our tv. She seemed to like what was playing as I organized all my books.
Halfway through the second episode, I was paying more attention to the little Einsteins than my genetics notes when I heard the set of keys on the door, informing me someone was coming in. It was Harry.

"What's going on?" he stopped on his tracks when he saw our little visitor.

"Lou had stuff to do and left this cutie with us for a while."

"Really?" A little smile pulled at his lips and I couldn't help but reciprocate it.

"Yeah."

Harry moved to the couch and pressed an hesitant kiss to my forehead before sitting down and collecting Lux in his arms.
She instantly accepted it, grabbing fistfuls of Harry's hair as he made hungry noise against her small tummy. I couldn't help but smile at the little affection between them and how he seemed a natural with her.

"What happened with Lou?" he asked casually, his eyes set on Lux as he tried to make casual conversation.

"Apparently Tom has got the same flu as you and she's taking him to the urgency for some antibiotics. She just didn't want Lux in that kind of environment." I explained quietly, both of us trailing the lines of a civil conversation for Lux's sake despite our fight from yesterday not being forgotten.

"She'll take hours at the urgency."

"I know, but she left a bag with all the utilities Lux might need so she'll be alright for a while."

"Hmm," he nodded, the ghost of a frown covering his features.

None of us spoke as Lux became the center of our attention, her tiny hands pressing to Harry's cheekbones as he bounced her up and down on his knees. Her baby giggles filled the apartment as she seemed more than content with all the attention she was getting from him.

"Did you sleep well?" he questioned casually and my gaze flickered back to his, the guarded expression of his green eyes making me want to crawl to his lap.

"Yeah," I forced the lie down with a dry swallow.

He frowned once again, a flash of hurt crossing his features before he turned to Lux again, rubbing her back as she settled on his torso, her cheek pressed to his chest and her small thumb into her mouth as she sucked it while looking at me.

"Where were you?" I questioned softly, rubbing her pink cheek with my index to avoid contact with Harry even though I could feel his gaze burning into me.

"Niall's. I wanted to give you some time to think."

"Oh."

"Did you? Think, I mean.."

"Yes, but that doesn't change the circumstances, does it?"

"Only you can change that." he spoke before both our attentions turned to Lux upon her coughing.

"Her too?" I frowned, suspecting Lux is also getting affected bu the flu that seems to be overtaking One Direction team.

"Oh no." Harry brushed her blonde hair of her face to have a better look at Lux as she glanced at us innocently. "Do you think she's sick as well?"

"I don't know." I took her from his lap and held her close to me, pressing my lips to her forehead."She doesn't have a temperature but it isn't that cold either."

I stood up and moved to the kitchen, roaming the cabinets for a glass to fill it with fresh water for her.

"Call Lou." Harry followed me to the kitchen.

"No, she's already worried about Tom. She'll panic if we call to say Lux's unwell too."

I scowled. "We'll give her a medicine and hopefully she'll be alright."

"She can't take a medicine, she's too small still." he pointed out.

"If we give her a 1/4, it won't prejudice her." I said , suddenly coming up with an idea. "Let me call my mum, she'll know those stuff better than anyone."

Harry nodded and took Lux from my arms as I held my phone to my ear and handed him the bottle from the bag Lou left us so he could fill it with the water.

"Hi baby." My mum greeted enthusiastically.

"Hey mum. Are you on court?"

"Yes, I'm on a break now."

"Good. Look, can a baby take a medicine if it's a quarter of it?"

The line went silent for a while before she finally spoke. "Are you....."

"No!" I hurried to say, getting her point. "Do you remember Lux? I told you about her.."

"The baby, yes."

"Well, Harry and I are in a sort of babysitting mission but Lux is coughing and her temperature is getting higher." I explained.

"Hmm, well you can give her 1/4 of a pill and tuck her to bed without light in the room. As she's too small, it will take effect faster and hopefully kill the bacterias for good."

"Are you sure?"

"If she only has those symptoms then yes, I think it'll work." she assured.

"Okay. I'll call you later to catch up."

"Sure, honey. Take care of the baby and give Harry a kiss for me."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye honey."

"She said it's fine to give her 1/4 of it." I told Harry.

He reached the cabinets and tried to divide the pill with a knife.

"Be careful."

He seemed pleased with my worry as I cooed to Lux, pressing small kisses to her tiny forehead.

"How is she gonna swallow it? She won't be able to with water.." he pointed out.

"Right.." I debated on it. "Maybe in a spoon of yogurt she'll do."

"Let's try." Harry opened a yogurt container and dropped the medicine on the full spoon, turning to me while I held Lux towards him. "C'mon Luxie." he tried to bring the spoon to her mouth but Lux refused, squirming in my lap.

"It's good, Lux." I bounced her slightly, trying to make her face Harry. She started crying, shifting on my lap so she could hide her face in the crook of my neck.

"She won't take it."

"Do something stupid."

"What?" Harry eyed me strangely.

"Yeah, something that makes her laugh."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know, you're more acquainted with her than I am."

"Right..." he stepped closer, trying to pry Lux's tiny arms from my neck, his own face
too close to mine. He glanced at me with a wary expression, evaluation my reaction to
his proximity.

As I didn't move an inch, he turned to Lux again, grabbing one of her hands and sticking it into his mouth. She instantly reacted with a giggle, pulling away from me to peer at him with those innocent blue eyes.

"I thought we had a connection Lux." he told her playfully even though it's obvious she doesn't understand. "Just one spoon, please." He pouted exaggeratedly and Lux stretched her hand to touch it.

He grinned and reached for the spoon again but Lux shook her head, a bit more amused than before. Then, he hid his face in my neck as well, pretending he was sad and catching me completely by surprise.
Lux pressed her small hand to his cheek and Harry hid his face further into my neck, making me shiver from his breathing against my skin.

"C'mon Lux." I bounced her slightly and Harry tried once again to stick the spoon inside her mouth, this time succeeding!

"Yes!" his bright eyes widened, cheering at his success. I buried my nose in Lux's hair to hide my smile but it was impossible, Harry was too funny in that moment.

"I think she swallowed it." I confirmed. "My mum said we better put her to sleep after taking the medicine."

"She can sleep in our bed." he shrugged, glancing at me.

"Okay." I gulped down before turning to the stairs.

In the room I laid Lux in bed while Harry closed all the curtains. I tucked her in but her eyes remained wide open. That's another problem!

"Why don't you sing to her? It used to work with me when you were on tour and sang to me at night." I suggested.

"Sure."

However, when we both glanced at Lux again, her eyelids were slowly closing and I guess no singing was necessary anymore. I tugged the covers and rubbed her small belly to make sure she'd fall into a deep sleep.
The bed sank behind me and Harry sat down, one hand wounding around my waist as he pressed me to his chest.

"I miss you." he whispered, burying his face in my neck.

I sighed, shivering as his breathing tickled me and leaned into him. "Let's go downstairs."

"Okay." His lips pressed to my shoulder the slightest before he reluctantly released me and we quietly left the room downstairs.
The silence stretched between us for a while, none knowing what to say as we paced the living room. Then, Harry decided to break the silence and speak.

"Are we going to spend our time left fighting instead of enjoying it together?"

"Well, I wasn't aware we of the shortened time till yesterday so can you blame me?" I raised an eyebrow at him matter-of-factually.

"I know it's my fault. When isn't?"

"No, it's not always your fault! You just still don't get why I'm upset, Harry. You gave me time to think but apparently you didn't use that time for your own benefit."

"What does that mean?" his voice raised only the slightest.

"It means you still think I'm mad because you have to leave again. I'm used to it, I knew what I was applying for since the beginning and I don't regret it. I'm mad because you hid something important from me, again! I thought after what happened with my father's cancer you'd realize it's never good to keep stuff from me."

"I was trying to protect you in both situations, I didn't want you to get hurt!"

"You can't protect me from everything!" I desperately threw my arms in the air.

"I can try!"

"No! You left for 10 months and I'm perfectly fine, no harm done!" I yelled.

"You had a bodyguard with you." he pointed out calmly.

With a gasp, my eyes narrowed and a sting feeling invaded my heart. Hurt.
I turned around so he wouldn't see the tears building up in my eyes.

"That's not what I meant." he excused, lifting his hand to touch my shoulder but I moved away from his touch.
"That's exactly what you meant!"
A deep sigh was heard as he turned around so I'd be facing him and leaned down.
"Stop! You always do that." I pushed him away.

"Do what?"

"You try to solve everything by kissing me in the middle of our fights. It's not going to work." I ducked away from his reach. I can't think coherently when he's so close.

"Do you still love me?" And that's the question that surprised me the most.

"What's that about?"

"I mean, like before. Do you still love me like before the tour?" The intensity and vulnerability of his gaze was heartbreaking.

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" I asked completely shocked that he'd even doubt my feelings at his point.

Harry sat on the couch, combing a frustrating hand through his hair before he spoke. "Because you never say it anymore."

Don't I?

"Since I got back I've told you a couple times and you never say it back. It just got me wondering."

I bit my lip and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Don't doubt that, not even for a second."

Our eyes met as he considered my reply before extending his hand. "Come here."

I shook my head.

"Please."

I bit my lip and stood up, landing on his hap as he pushed me to straddle his waist.

"I miss you so much, it'll never be enough to make up for this time apart. Don't fight me." he pleaded.

"You hurt me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll never omit anything from you, good or bad." he squeezed my hips in reassurance.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise." Harry nodded reassuringly.

I didn't say anything, merely stood on his lap as we stared at each other. I didn't want to let it go this fast but he's right, he's leaving again soon even if it's for only 3 weeks and we should enjoy our time together to make up for the 10 months of hell apart. Also, I couldn't really resist. I know what he's doing, the puppy eyes and sweet words, I was the one who mastered it with him and it always worked. Now the tables have turned and he's really good at it.

Upon my silence, Harry leaned in and brushed his lips against mine even so softly to evaluate my reaction. As I didn't move, he applied the slightest pressure. Once again, I remained stationary so he applied for a full kiss, locking my lower lip in his own but I pulled away.

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you." I whispered, feeling my eyes wetting.

"Do you mean it?"

"You know I do."

"Then let me make love to you." he whispered back, right above my lips.

"What?" My heart beat painfully in my chest, looking at his saddish eyes.

"I miss you so much and I want to show you, to be connected with you." His hand raised to lock a strand of hair behind my ear.

"That's a low blow." I gulped down.

"Please?" he brushed our noses together.

"Lux is here."

"So? You're not going to tell me we'll stop having sex once we have kids, are you?"

The frightened expression on his features was hilarious that I laughed out loud. "No, but Lux isn't ours."

Harry seemed pleased that he had made me laugh after our fight, testing his luck by pressing a light kiss to my lips.

"Are we okay?" his green orbs bore into mine, peering at me with those long, dark

eyelashes of his.

"Yes," I nodded slowly. "But it's just because you're flying away soon."

"I can work with that."

"If you do anything like that again.." I trailed off, lacing my arms around his neck.

"I won't." he assured, pushing me closer on his lap so our chests would brush.

"I love you."

"I love you. So much."

When our lips finally met in a full kiss, I couldn't help the sigh that escaped, proving once again that we may fight hard but it never lasts to long because we can't really stay apart. I don't take fights in a bad or wrong way, much to the contrary because, to me, you get in the biggest fights with the people you care the most. Because those are the the relationships you are willing to fight for.

Harry's hand pushed inside my top, reaching my breasts for a light squeeze that made me moan into his mouth. That's when I pulled away.

"I don't want to make love." I said. "I want it rough and fast."

Harry's mouth fell agape as he stared at me with wide, lustful eyes that made me want to jump to him if I wasn't already on his lap.

"You liked that experience when you went to visit me in Italy.." he smirked after he finally recomposed from the initial shock of my words.

"Yes, but I don't mean let's do it now because Lux will hear."

"We'll be quiet." he promised, his lips dipping to suck on my neck.

"No."

"Yeah, now that I think about it, better not. You were quite loud that night." he winked smugly.

"Harry!" I giggled, hiding my face on his chest.

"My back was the one that suffered, though."

"Let's not remember that.." the flush instantly rose to my cheek just reminiscing that.

During the tour, I went to visit Harry in Italy after not seeing each other for almost two months so, as expected, we used the night to be together, just the two of us and spent the entire might awake during adult things. However, the following day I took off and Harry went to the pool shirtless, nail marks covering his entire back.
As obvious, it didn't go unnoticed by the paps and there were pictures of Harry's scratchy back all over the internet and tv, guessing a "steamy night" between us.
I was so embarrassed with everyone that was being told that Eleanor practically had to drag me out of the flat by tle legs to uni. Not to mention the comments from Louis and the rest of the boys.

"I liked it. I had those fingerprints for an entire week." Harry's voice snapped me back to reality as I stared at his smirk.

"Yeah, let's not remember that. The topic is long forgotten on the press after those hell of a days and I'd rather not bring it up again."

"We can bring it up just between us, I don't mind if you mark me again." he assured with a tug of my lip.

"You get worse with age." I shook my head amused.

"That's your fault, you get more irresistible as time goes."

"Yeah, you know I think you're really hot as well but I think it's time for you to cut your hair.." I stated, twirling one of his curls in my fingers.

"Why, don't you like it? It's more for you to tug.." he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

I giggled once again and leaned in for a kiss, enjoying the soft strokes of Harry's tongue against my own. No matter how many times we kiss, it'll always feel amazing.
Then, my phone beeped and we pulled apart. Well, I pulled apart as Harry kept working with his tongue on my neck.

"Lou's coming. She said Tom's alright and they're on the way to pick Lux." I spoke in between gasps as he sucked on my skin.

"Well, I love Lux but I really want to stay alone with you."

I laughed and climbed of his lap. "Let's wake her up then."

"Alright."

With a sigh, Harry stood up as well, his arms instantly snaking around my waist from behind as he pressed kisses to my shoulder and neck, his enthusiasm for being alone evident on my lower back.
This will be an interesting end of afternoon for sure.





Notes

Hi babies!! :)

Please, comment even if it's just a little thing and voteeee!! It makes me veeeeryy happy and updates will come much, much faster!! Just saying!!

D

Comments

@M.J.

It's amazing how you know my writing and that I don't do happily ever after which is true but I don't think I've ever mentioned that (?)
And yes, I'm replying 6 months later, sorry.
I do envision the next step after that last chapter ended but that, of course, is gonna stay in my head. :)
xx

@Marbleskin

thank you, thank you, thank you :)
Yes, I'm working on something else indeed nut no more Harry and Mia :( I'll be in touch soon about new stuff, if you're still around

@Javairia_Directioner

Ahah, that's the FINAL end.. (As you've probably realized after 6 months.) sorry for the waiting but thank you so much for reading it!!

@faithy

That is awesome that you know it word for word!! I'd kiss you right now if I could :) thank you x100

I cried the whole way through, you evil evil woman! I loved it there is no doubt in my mind she takes his hand and they work things out. But of course this is the kind of thing you'd do. I am curious though what do you think happens? I know you dont really write happily ever after, but do see it in your head? I loved this chapter, i had so much fun reading both this stories! You are a great writer and it has been a privelege seeing how you have grown and improved! Congrats on ending this huge project!