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That was then, This is now

Please Don't Stop Caring Now



Previously...

I opened the door slowly to find Harry staring at the window, his back to me and holding his phone to his ear. Even like this, his frame looked beautiful, his muscles so defined on his back and his long legs squished in tight jeans. He obviously didn't notice my presence however when I was about to say something, nothing could have prepared me for the words I heard...

"Mia's being spending more time with her father lately but I don't think she's realized he has cancer."

"What?" I gasped, my voice cracking.

Harry swiftly turned around. His eyes widened when he realized I just heard his words, resulting on the sound of his phone shattering on the floor but my eyes keep trailed on his.


"Fuck." He muttered.




My heart skipped a bit for a second upon hearing Harry's words. My mind blacked for a while processing the words that just left Harry's mouth.


"What did you just say?" I opened the door further marking my presence.


His eyes widened in shock when he realized I heard everything he just said and that was not supposed too.


"Mia I---" He stopped frowning when I took a step back while he took a step forward.


"I-Is that t-true?" I dry swallowed praying for a negative reply.

"Well I uh---" I saw desperation in his eyes when I took another step back.

"Answer me!" I shouted blinking away the tears.

"You shouldn't have known like that." Harry narrowed his eyes.

"So it's true then?" I whispered trying to ignore the rumbling in my stomach.

"I'm s-sorry… I well… you uh I…" He seemed to struggle with the words.

"You lied to me…" It was supposed to come out as a question but my mind was not very coherent at the moment.

"I didn't lie." He rushed to say.

"My father… I never… He's sick?"The tearing were rolling down my cheeks and it' was hopeless to try to stop them. "How bad is it?"

"I'm not the best person to answer that…" Was the only thing he needed to say for me to realize it's really bad.

I covered my mouth with my hands. Harry took a deep sigh wrapping me in his embrace.

I tried to gather my thoughts but Harry's scent was filling my nostrils. It is impossible for me to think clearly when he's holding me so tightly against his body almost afraid that I'd disappear but my body was numb towards any type of moving, I couldn't even think process a thought let alone make any decision to push him away. The only thing playing in my head is Harry's words

Mia's being spending more time with her father lately but I don't think she's realized he has cancer

I don't think she's realized he has cancer

has cancer

Cancer? What do I even know about cancer? Only that it's deadly.

"I'm here, I promise. Mia, I promise, it's okay." Harry rocked me back and forth whispering contorting words in my ear.

My eyes clamped shut, feeling my insides tightened.

"Are you okay?" Harry squeezed my hip trying to call my attention.

I think I'm going to puke.
My mind had enough judgement to untangle myself from him and run to the bathroom. I had barely made it to the toilet before I emptied my stomach, or what's left of it.
Harry kneeled next to me holding my hair with a concerned expression on his beautiful features.
I rested my forehead in my forearms on the toilet lid.

"My dad's going to die, isn't he?" I sobbed lightly.

"No! Of course not Mia!" Harry scoot closer pushing me to his lap as if I'm a baby.

I stood squished against his chest, sobbing for what felt like a life time but Harry didn't complain not even once. Instead he just held me close whispering in my ear and stroking my back on the bathroom floor.

Now it all makes sense to me, I knew something was wrong with my father, not only physically because he looks much older and tired than usual but also mentally since he's much nicer to Harry and tries to spend more time with me, he wants me and India with him.
Now my mother's persistence in me seeing him is understandable, but she should have told me! Instead she just spoke to Harry behind my back, not even considering telling me first! After all he's my god damn father!!
Everyone lied to me, they all knew and I remained clueless! Nobody told me and I only found out because I heard Harry and my mother.
If I was India I'd understand this being kept for me but I'm an adult and I should have known.
I have this weird feeling in my stomach, I feel like everyone betrayed me by keeping this huge deal foam me, even Harry who's supposed to tell me everything and he knows I'd never forgive myself for discovering my father's condition too late.
Is it too late now? I don't even now what stage is he, the type of cancer, nothing. I need to discover everything and the best way is to speak to him directly.

"I have to go see my dad." I abruptly stood up from the ground almost falling down again.

"Now?" Harry raised his eyebrows. I didn't bother to answer properly, instead I just walked to the bathroom and gathered my stuff again.

"Mia?" Harry grabbed my hand easily pushing me back.

"Let go." I released my arm.

"What's happening to you?"

"I'm just saying I'm going to see my father." I pointed out.

"I'm going with you then." He grabbed his keys.

"No you aren't." I replied rather harshly.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to go." I simply turned to the door wiping my tears.

"What's with the mood swing so suddenly?" Harry spoke rather angrily.

"Just because I allowed you to hold me in a moment of weakness doesn't mean I'm okay with what you did." I turned around to look at him.

"Allowed me? What do you mean allow?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I means what I just said." I simply replied.

"You're not doing that because you're trying to shut me down again like you always seem to do, are you?" He swallowed.

"No Harry, I'm being really serious! You lied to me." I stared at the wall behind him.

"I didn't mean to but your mum made me promise and I---"

"Ok Harry…" I sighed exiting the room.

"Wait!" He came right on my heels. "Aren't you gonna yell at me?" I almost laughed at his question but I also had tears brimming in my eyes so I did none of those things. "Mia?" He called again.

I stopped at the flat's door, took a deep sigh and turned to him.

"Do you want me to yell, Harry? Do you? Do you want to hear me shout how disappointed I am because you, above all people in the world, should be the first to tell in the moment you found out instead of hiding it to me and pretend everything's okay, even bringing me to happy dinners with my father?" I couldn't help but raise my voice while the tears ran freely, At this pointed I couldn't care less.

"I was trying to protect you!" Harry tugged at his roots frustratedly, shouting at me.
"Fuck that!" I threw my hands in the air. "I'm tired of you using that excuse for the wrong things you do to me! "Give one reason Harry, just one, for not telling me what was going on!"

"I didn't want you to suffer anymore!" He glared at me, his eyes big and wild.

"Till when? The day that I'd find my father lying on the floor?" The words ripped me from the inside out.

"No!" He said incredulous.

"Just tell me one thing!" I stepped closer to him. "Would you ever tell me if I hadn't found out?"

Harry stared at me for a while probably debating on what to say. I watched as he combed his hand through his hair multiple times, a sign of nervousness.

"E-eventually yes." He blinked.

"I don't believe you!"

"What?" Harry gasped. "Where is this coming from so suddenly!? One thing is being mad at me because I didn't tell you, another is doubting my word!" He pointed out angrily. He has absolutely no reasons to…

"I'm leaving." I informed.

"Of course you are!" Harry mumbled, unfortunately it was loud enough for me to hear.

"What was that?" I glared at him.

"I'm just saying that's not a surprise, you always leave when things are rough between us." He expressed.

"No I don't." I fired even though I'm perfectly aware that I'm lying.

It's just that seeing Harry only hence my pain. Normally being near him is medicine enough to sooth whatever pain I might feel but now my heart just aches even more because he caused part of it.

"Yes you do, and you know it." He fired back.

"I'm not going to bicker over it with you." I reached for the door knob.

However, Harry's large hand beater mine before I could do it.

"Where are you going?" He enquired as if we just weren't in the middle of an argument.

"My dad's." I replied stating the obvious.

"I'm coming with you." He grabbed his keys.

"Are you listening to me?" I pushed at his chest incredulous. "I don't want you to come."

"Yes, you do." His demanding tone sent chills down my spine.

"I don't, now can you let me out of the damn house?" I yelled helplessly.

"You're not going anywhere away from me." His husky voice sounded lowly in my ears.

Harry pressed his large hand to the door trapping me between his body and the barrier. My knees nearly buckled, his overpowering scent invading my nostrils.
His soft curls tickled my forehead, dipping head to nudge my nose with his, the hand previously holding the door now holding my waist tightly.

"Harry…" I whispered with a sob looking at the floor.

"Are you going to leave me?" His voice laced with hurt, mere inches from me. His lips traced the line of my jaw, moving in an invisible line to my neck.

"I…"

"Are you?" He pressed, moving closer till our bodies were pressed together.

I want to answer but my mouth can't seem to open. I want to reply one thing but do another. My mind can't catch with the situation, Harry's scent invading my insides and clouding my thoughts. My judgement seems non-existent as the only thing I can focus on is the way his wet lips brush my skin, goose bumps forming in the skin he touches.

"Are you going to break your promises?" His face came back up, his lips ghosting over mine.

"S-stop. doing. that." My breathing increased his range, coming out in hot puffs.

"Doing what?" His dazzling green eyes bore into mine, our foreheads pressed together.

Before my brain could even process a though, I was startled by my phone ringing loudly, too loud for the thick atmosphere in the apartment right now.
But somehow it was the perfect opportunity to escape Harry's trap.
I grabbed my bag again, ready to leave the door for the second time in a matter of minutes.

"Mia…" I glanced at Harry's hand around my wrist before meeting his gaze.

"Are you going to threaten me again?" His face seemed puzzled for a second. "That if I leave you're done?" I spit.

"You know I didn't mean it." His eyes narrowed.

"That didn't stop you from saying the words anyway, did it?"

"Mia…" Harry sighed deeply before speaking again. "I know you're hurt and even if I try my hardest I'll never understand the pain you're feeling right now, now that you know the truth but I want to help you, I want to be there to hold you and share the pain." His sad eyes stared at me, almost pleading. Not almost, he's really begging me. Every word working as an arrow pointed at my chest.

"Harry, let me go." I begged. His grip loosened a little but he was still holding my wrist. I know it because I can feel the ache for him only by his fingers touching my skin.

"How can you tell me to let you go?" His voice raised considerably, he's angry now. "Do you really mean it? After everything…"

No.

"Yes."

Harry's body stumbled back as if I had pushed him and I immediately wanted to take the words back and reach for him, fondling his curls and say that I don't mean a word because I love him more than breathing itself but instead I just open the door and gulp before saying the words that I know will stop him from following me outside.

"If you love as much as you claim, please don't come after me."

With that I close the door behind me not able to take one last glance at his pained eyes, I know I wouldn't be able to stand it.
I walked slowly, my body shaking with sobs. My head and heart literally hurt and I feel mentally drained and completely exhausted. Just to think everything was okay this morning before we left to the shooting. Looking back it seems like an eternity ago.
As I reach the elevators I hear a loud noise of something crashing on the floor. I don't need to look up to know it comes from the other side of the door of the apartment. I close my eyes and hear another loud noise, even louder this time.
The doors ding open and being the coward that I am, I enter the elevator and watch the door slowly closing feeling my heart drop to the floor like a lifeless item.




Notes

Throughout this chapter I got this song stuck in my head the entire time and I think it really fits the atmosphere of the story now. It's called 'Losing Sleep' by John Newman, please give it a try and listen to the lyrics.. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPZ7GJarbsM

Just a little warn that the chapters from now on will get a bit emotional..

Loved you reactions from last chapter, please keep commenting!!

and yes, I updated two days in a row YaY!!

xx




Comments

@M.J.

It's amazing how you know my writing and that I don't do happily ever after which is true but I don't think I've ever mentioned that (?)
And yes, I'm replying 6 months later, sorry.
I do envision the next step after that last chapter ended but that, of course, is gonna stay in my head. :)
xx

@Marbleskin

thank you, thank you, thank you :)
Yes, I'm working on something else indeed nut no more Harry and Mia :( I'll be in touch soon about new stuff, if you're still around

@Javairia_Directioner

Ahah, that's the FINAL end.. (As you've probably realized after 6 months.) sorry for the waiting but thank you so much for reading it!!

@faithy

That is awesome that you know it word for word!! I'd kiss you right now if I could :) thank you x100

I cried the whole way through, you evil evil woman! I loved it there is no doubt in my mind she takes his hand and they work things out. But of course this is the kind of thing you'd do. I am curious though what do you think happens? I know you dont really write happily ever after, but do see it in your head? I loved this chapter, i had so much fun reading both this stories! You are a great writer and it has been a privelege seeing how you have grown and improved! Congrats on ending this huge project!