How to Move
Pure happiness within a false situation
2017-06-14
Pure happiness shot through my body as I got that small diploma from the principal. One by one we all made our way of the small stage inside the big auditorium. I saw all of my classmates and also a bunch of people who I had never seen before. We all were talking very loudly even though our former teachers kept telling us to hush down. Of course we all ignore them and soon every student had received their diploma. My friends ran over to me and we waited for the principal to tell us we could leave. As soon as the principal uttered the words ‘Congratulations to the class of 2017’ we all screamed and jumped up and down in excitement. In the sudden rise of excitement I was being pushed and crashed into a person who was standing behind me.
“Oh I am so sorry!” I spoke in Swedish. I turned around and looked at the guys I had knocked into. He smiled to me and shrugged slightly.
“I’m assuming you said you were sorry.” He spoke to me in English and I noticed he was British. I laughed and nodded. Seeing how good looking he was too I blushed like a mad person. “Well then, that is certainly not necessary!” I smiled a ridiculously big smile and blushed some more. I looked down at my feet and he lifted my chin with his finger. “I’ll tell you what, you can buy me a coffee sometime and make up for it?” He looked at me with almost hopeful eyes and I laughed.
“Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” I nodded and now it was my turn to look at him with hopeful eyes. He might be my knight in shining armor.
Present Day (2018-07-02)
The memories came flooding back after Louis frightening speech. As they did I felt myself hyperventilating. I didn’t want to remember the day I met the one person who would make me feel like I did. I took a deep breath before I opened the door that he had slammed close. I walked into the room that held four fifth of One Direction. They all were talking about something but stopped as soon as I entered the room. I really didn’t want to get in the middle of what ever was going on so I just sighed and stood by the chair I had just been sitting in. They all looked at me and waited for what ever I was going to say.
“I’ll take the room.” Harry whooped and high-fived with Zayn as Liam and Niall smiled largely. I shook my head and looked at my hands. “But as soon as I find another arrangement I am out.” Harrys face fell and he looked confused. He stared at me for a few moments before pulling the pieces together. His face turned angry as he stared at the door.
“What did he say to you?” I sighed and decided to sit down. Even though I wanted to go home I knew I had to talk about things and what was going to happen in the future.
“Nothing Harry. I just feel like I’m not wanted all that much.” I shrugged and took a big sip of my wine. “I really need to get out of here so I am going to take you offer, and I will stay there for as long as you guys are away. But when you get home, I’m gone.” Before anyone could respond to what I just said Louis voice sounded from behind me.
“Seriously? Just because I’m in a bad mood for one night…” He went to grab his coat and I stood up. When he turned around and was about to walk away I grabbed his arm to make him stay. I felt myself becoming angry now and he flinched when he saw my black eyes.
“How I am acting right now has nothing to do with you.” I spoke in a mocking tone and his face crunched up with anger once more.
“Real funny…” I felt the rest of the boys stare at us but I didn’t care. I snorted and let out a fake laugh.
“Well do you want to know something, popstar?” He didn’t move a muscle so I proceeded. “You are not the only one with problems in this world. You should really show some compassion.” He stared at me for several seconds before ripping his arm from my hand and turning to the boys.
“Fuck this, I’m going to the hotel.” He stormed out of the restaurant and left us all in shock.
“I swear he is not like that normally.” Harry spoke up and I turned to smile at him.
“I understand that.” I sat down and exhaled the large breath I had been holding. Even though I knew he might be having a bad day I was really starting to dislike him. I had been so mistreated in the past that I had learned to say no when I had to. My mind began reeling back to those horrible days and I thanked Liam for breaking my train of thought.
“If it wasn’t because of Louis then why are you only staying for a short time?” I looked at him and began biting my lower lip trying to think of how to say the next thing.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not ready to share my life story with all of you.” They nodded and Liam looked a little guilty for asking his question. “Don’t feel bad Liam, I just have these conditions but I can’t tell you why I have them.”
“We understand that.” Zayn spoke and looked at me with understanding eyes. I sighed and looked at my hands again.
“No one who you don’t trust can know I live with you. It can not come out, no pictures, no tweets or anything like that. I am to be totally anonymous.” When I looked up at them they all looked at me with confused eyes but nodded. “Thank you.” I nodded and drank more wine.
“I don’t mean to sound disrespectful or anything but is it safe for us to have you live with them?” Niall spoke up with concern in his voice. I felt bad for even thinking about putting them in this situation. I nodded and put my glass down on the table.
“I’m not telling you for your own safety.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “It sounds much worse than it is but the important thing is I need to stay fairly hidden.” When I looked up at them they all nodded and with perfect timing the waiter walked into the room.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna get?” She smiled at all of us and waited with her notepad. We all nodded, I did too even though I hadn’t checked the menu. Thankfully I’d been at this place before. We all ordered and then watched her leave the room. I turned to the boys and gave them a big smile.
“I am so sorry but I have to ask.” They all looked at me expectantly. I picked up my bag from the floor and pulled out my cell phone. “Can I have some pictures with you guys.” I gave the biggest smile I have every given anyone and my face started to hurt. But they were One freaking Direction, who wouldn’t exploit the moment? Someone insane? Yes!
-----------------------
The rest of the night went really well. The boys had all laughed at me when I wanted pictures but frankly, I didn’t care. We had eaten a marvellous dinner, which they paid for, and spent the rest of the night laughing. They really were wonderful guys and I couldn’t wait until I moved to London with them. When it was time to leave and I was saying goodbye to them Harry asked the obvious question.
“So when are you moving in?” They all stared at me for several seconds before I had processed my calendar in my head.
“Well, I need to be there no later then in the middle of august. So any day between a week from now and until then.” I smiled at them and they laughed.
“Excellent then. You’ll move in with us next week!” I laughed and thank the lord that I had already packed up my place. “That way you’ll have time to get to know us and we can show you around the city before we start travelling again.” Harry smiled at his own words and hugged me tight.
“Sounds great!” I hugged all of the boys and started walking towards the train station. For the first time in years I felt like my life was moving in the right direction. I had the feeling that I might be happy in London. I had the feeling that they would make me who I was again.
Pure happiness shot through my body as I got that small diploma from the principal. One by one we all made our way of the small stage inside the big auditorium. I saw all of my classmates and also a bunch of people who I had never seen before. We all were talking very loudly even though our former teachers kept telling us to hush down. Of course we all ignore them and soon every student had received their diploma. My friends ran over to me and we waited for the principal to tell us we could leave. As soon as the principal uttered the words ‘Congratulations to the class of 2017’ we all screamed and jumped up and down in excitement. In the sudden rise of excitement I was being pushed and crashed into a person who was standing behind me.
“Oh I am so sorry!” I spoke in Swedish. I turned around and looked at the guys I had knocked into. He smiled to me and shrugged slightly.
“I’m assuming you said you were sorry.” He spoke to me in English and I noticed he was British. I laughed and nodded. Seeing how good looking he was too I blushed like a mad person. “Well then, that is certainly not necessary!” I smiled a ridiculously big smile and blushed some more. I looked down at my feet and he lifted my chin with his finger. “I’ll tell you what, you can buy me a coffee sometime and make up for it?” He looked at me with almost hopeful eyes and I laughed.
“Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” I nodded and now it was my turn to look at him with hopeful eyes. He might be my knight in shining armor.
Present Day (2018-07-02)
The memories came flooding back after Louis frightening speech. As they did I felt myself hyperventilating. I didn’t want to remember the day I met the one person who would make me feel like I did. I took a deep breath before I opened the door that he had slammed close. I walked into the room that held four fifth of One Direction. They all were talking about something but stopped as soon as I entered the room. I really didn’t want to get in the middle of what ever was going on so I just sighed and stood by the chair I had just been sitting in. They all looked at me and waited for what ever I was going to say.
“I’ll take the room.” Harry whooped and high-fived with Zayn as Liam and Niall smiled largely. I shook my head and looked at my hands. “But as soon as I find another arrangement I am out.” Harrys face fell and he looked confused. He stared at me for a few moments before pulling the pieces together. His face turned angry as he stared at the door.
“What did he say to you?” I sighed and decided to sit down. Even though I wanted to go home I knew I had to talk about things and what was going to happen in the future.
“Nothing Harry. I just feel like I’m not wanted all that much.” I shrugged and took a big sip of my wine. “I really need to get out of here so I am going to take you offer, and I will stay there for as long as you guys are away. But when you get home, I’m gone.” Before anyone could respond to what I just said Louis voice sounded from behind me.
“Seriously? Just because I’m in a bad mood for one night…” He went to grab his coat and I stood up. When he turned around and was about to walk away I grabbed his arm to make him stay. I felt myself becoming angry now and he flinched when he saw my black eyes.
“How I am acting right now has nothing to do with you.” I spoke in a mocking tone and his face crunched up with anger once more.
“Real funny…” I felt the rest of the boys stare at us but I didn’t care. I snorted and let out a fake laugh.
“Well do you want to know something, popstar?” He didn’t move a muscle so I proceeded. “You are not the only one with problems in this world. You should really show some compassion.” He stared at me for several seconds before ripping his arm from my hand and turning to the boys.
“Fuck this, I’m going to the hotel.” He stormed out of the restaurant and left us all in shock.
“I swear he is not like that normally.” Harry spoke up and I turned to smile at him.
“I understand that.” I sat down and exhaled the large breath I had been holding. Even though I knew he might be having a bad day I was really starting to dislike him. I had been so mistreated in the past that I had learned to say no when I had to. My mind began reeling back to those horrible days and I thanked Liam for breaking my train of thought.
“If it wasn’t because of Louis then why are you only staying for a short time?” I looked at him and began biting my lower lip trying to think of how to say the next thing.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not ready to share my life story with all of you.” They nodded and Liam looked a little guilty for asking his question. “Don’t feel bad Liam, I just have these conditions but I can’t tell you why I have them.”
“We understand that.” Zayn spoke and looked at me with understanding eyes. I sighed and looked at my hands again.
“No one who you don’t trust can know I live with you. It can not come out, no pictures, no tweets or anything like that. I am to be totally anonymous.” When I looked up at them they all looked at me with confused eyes but nodded. “Thank you.” I nodded and drank more wine.
“I don’t mean to sound disrespectful or anything but is it safe for us to have you live with them?” Niall spoke up with concern in his voice. I felt bad for even thinking about putting them in this situation. I nodded and put my glass down on the table.
“I’m not telling you for your own safety.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “It sounds much worse than it is but the important thing is I need to stay fairly hidden.” When I looked up at them they all nodded and with perfect timing the waiter walked into the room.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna get?” She smiled at all of us and waited with her notepad. We all nodded, I did too even though I hadn’t checked the menu. Thankfully I’d been at this place before. We all ordered and then watched her leave the room. I turned to the boys and gave them a big smile.
“I am so sorry but I have to ask.” They all looked at me expectantly. I picked up my bag from the floor and pulled out my cell phone. “Can I have some pictures with you guys.” I gave the biggest smile I have every given anyone and my face started to hurt. But they were One freaking Direction, who wouldn’t exploit the moment? Someone insane? Yes!
-----------------------
The rest of the night went really well. The boys had all laughed at me when I wanted pictures but frankly, I didn’t care. We had eaten a marvellous dinner, which they paid for, and spent the rest of the night laughing. They really were wonderful guys and I couldn’t wait until I moved to London with them. When it was time to leave and I was saying goodbye to them Harry asked the obvious question.
“So when are you moving in?” They all stared at me for several seconds before I had processed my calendar in my head.
“Well, I need to be there no later then in the middle of august. So any day between a week from now and until then.” I smiled at them and they laughed.
“Excellent then. You’ll move in with us next week!” I laughed and thank the lord that I had already packed up my place. “That way you’ll have time to get to know us and we can show you around the city before we start travelling again.” Harry smiled at his own words and hugged me tight.
“Sounds great!” I hugged all of the boys and started walking towards the train station. For the first time in years I felt like my life was moving in the right direction. I had the feeling that I might be happy in London. I had the feeling that they would make me who I was again.
@kaylabear
Oh this means the world to me! The story is finished and I'm trying to edit it into a book since it is some of the most emotional stuff I have ever written. Thank you so much for reading this! :)
4/4/16